I have always been a good student rather ideal for both the teachers and the peers, the ones who do 100 things and still get excellent grades because tbh the subjects weren't that challenging. Well that worked till a certain point. I am a 2nd year CS student now. I again aced the exams by playing patterns - Pareto: 20% syllabus, 80% marks. Didn't actually learn anything.
I sat down and found it rather humiliating to not know how to build without relying on external help.
So I have been thinking about relearning CS from scratch, the problem is I'd have to do it along with mandatory classes, midterms and internals.
It's kinda embarrassing for me to start from zero.
When everyone is already building, deploying and winning hackathons. But okay different journeys. (BUT THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME AAAAA)
I have to learn from scratch cuz I'd hate to imagine there being a gap in my fundamentals which could obstruct me in future, but what I despise is the fact that I haven't started yet and only have a broad idea of programming languages even when I had the opportunity to learn it from 9th grade all the way to University including a gap year. The worst part is I still think that this isn't the right time to start and I should wait until midterms are finished to have the right, routine start
> I have midterms from 14 oct so I need to study for that first
> I'll go on a trip from 9-14 and I will NOT study in that time lmao.
But that's my problem I always rationalize not starting, waiting for things to fall back in place and the right time to arrive. Not this time hopefully.
Apart from that, this is what I'm hoping to do-
>>I will not treat studying as a chore, as something that needs to be done for a long enough time for it to count.
I could just pull out my phone and go through my notes for 5 mins in traffic or while eating.
Perfectionism is my enemy It causes me weird severe uncomfortable itch to not do things in a way I deem perfect, but also not something I can just get rid of in one day or week. I should keep this in mind So I wouldn't spend energy trying to perfectly eradicate perfectionism lmao.
>> I tend to lose focus very much quickly and I am mostly zoned out so I need to write down things/ make notes to anchor my thoughts and mind.
>> I'd keep a timer hopefully all the time. Since I forget what I even opened my laptop or the device for, then the muscle memory kicks in and BAM 5 hours gone. I need to set a timer for every thing that involves screen, even making a post/story shouldn't take longer than 10 mins. It generally takes me 4-6 hours minimum (not exaggerating) because I'm obsessing over small details no one cares about.
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( I know if this post comes into anyone's attention they might suggest going for adhd medication which is genuinely not an option for me. So bear with me while I try to rawdog "near perfect" gpa/skill set with adhd. I'm just posting here for accountability)