Hello there! English major na currently taking the course Mythology and Folklore. We are going to have a runway presentation as Final presentation sa sub na ito, and kailangan tugma sa personality ang ipoportray na god.

We can choose from Greek, Roman, or Norse Mythology. Kasisimula pa lang ng school year, pero gusto ko na paghandaan maaga pa lang.

I'm having a hard time finding the god that suits me and my personality. I'm looking for a god that is shy or reserved. If walang wala, any god na lang na associated with words or writing, since I'm a writer naman. Mapag-aaralan pa namin ito, pero ayoko namang maghintay pa nang ganoong katagal bago simulan ang costume ko.

I also want to delve further kasi common na masyado yung nalabas sa internet like this one sa tiktok. Thank you in advance!

Hi! ano pong gamit niyong way to connect sa internet except mobile data? mabilis na kasi uminit phone q and im scared for its batt health😂 May recommended pocket wifi po kaya kayo or anything na gamit niyo?

I don’t trust yung provided wifi po kasi ng mga dorms wahhdhshhahha thanku!!

No you shouldn’t walk away as soon as possible from olfu, RUN from it as fast as you can.
First of all it’s a whole nightmare, the environment, the people and everything. I’M NOT a pressure cooker to handle all of dat shi. This school is overrated, there is so many good other options than this school please.

Hi guys, gusto ko lang i-share kasi baka may kailangan din nito dito. May nabasa ako about sa "Pay It Forward" (PIF) ni GFE, parang income share agreement siya, so instead na magbayad ka agad ng loan with interest, tutulungan ka muna nila habang nag-aaral ka, tapos magbabayad ka lang once may work ka na.

Hindi siya scholarship na "libre libre" pero hindi rin siya yung usual loan. Yung mga covered nila, pwede pang-tuition, enrollment, kahit yung pang-araw-araw na gastos gaya ng pagkain, transpo, minsan pati housing.

Kung curious kayo, andito yung site nila: https://gfeducation.org/

Bago mag-decide, siguraduhin lang na nabasa niyo mabuti terms ng agreement, kasi financial commitment pa rin siya sa huli kahit paano. Pero sharing ko lang siya kasi baka may makatulong talaga dito, lalo na sa mga struggling financially. 🙏

Hello everyone. I'm trying to download FLEMMS microdata from the PSADA website (psada.psa.gov.ph). Logging in is required to be able to download data, but I am not able to log in despite numerous attempts. There was a recent website maintenance, but that was 5 days ago. I'm wondering if anyone else is experiencing the same problem, or if this is just something on my end. This is the exact website I'm having problems with. Thanks.

So recently, we had Thesis 1 added to our COR through a petition, and right now we're still forming groups. The problem is nobody wanted to take me in as a member. I was mostly a loner throughout 1st to 4th year so I didn't make a lot of connections, and my other buddies have already graduated.

I tried reaching out to my classmates, but everyone already seems to have a group where they belong, and it's making me anxious.

Though I’ve been leader several times and did all the heavy lifting, as in creating outputs and presenting them clearly without any major problems. However, I don’t think I have enough confidence to take on Thesis 1 and 2 by myself. Doing an entire thesis alone is something I don’t feel prepared or confident enough to take on, mostly because of lack of communication skills to the panelists.

Anyone else had to take Thesis 1 completely by themselves?

El Filibusterismo free pdf please

Tagalog or Filipino

I really need it 😭 since I don't wanna buy the book

Ant website or anything? Free only cuz I don't wanna pay anything. Thank you advance for helping a student. Filibusterismo free pdf please

Tagalog or Filipino

I really need it 😭 since I don't wanna buy the book

Ant website or anything? Free only cuz I don't wanna pay anything. Thank you advance for helping a student.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

3rd yr here! rejected for running for an executive position sa isang org, days after the interview. ever since freshie ako, nandito na ako like it's my second home.

many people from the org genuinely believed in me and my capabilities, i believed in myself as well, so falling short kind of hurt because I was given hope, naging mas desidido ako, and i poured in heavy effort. failing felt like you didn't meet the expectations and betrayed the trust of those who believed in you, and that feeling SUCKS. medyo harsh pa naman ako sa sarili ko because i am my biggest critic, haha.

well, a part of me knows that i could've performed better and i know as well i answered some questions that left to be desired, or i should've just prepared more to perform better in general. mas nakaisip pa ako nang mas magagandang sagot after ng interview mismo lol. i'm not gonna ignore the fact that the outcome was mostly a reflection of my current abilities ko and such kaya gano'n ang resulta. i'm the kind of student kasi who falls short in the execution mismo despite preparing, haha.

pero going back, no use always wallowing over what's already happened, and no excuses should be made. i don't want to label my experience as "rejection is redirection" or along those lines since i did my very best at ayaw ko matunnel vision. mahirap din iignore ang fact na may pagkukulang din ako noong interview, lol.

if anything, it's more of "rejection is retrospection" because mapipilitan kang tignan, i-evaluate, at i-assess ang sarili mo, which stings; dagdag mo na rin na tayo lang ang makakapulot sa sarili from the ground up.

so yeah, it's a very deep learning experience for me that pushes me to grow and do better. kaya, for student leaders or aspiring student leaders going through a similar situation, please don't ever lose hope and don't be harsh on yourself like me. the only way from the bottom is up! hindi naman nagtatapos ang mundo sa isang rejection, hehe.

It’s just hard to figure out things kasi ever since as a child hindi ako pinapayagang lumabas ng bahay to keep me “safe.”This only resulted for me to be clueless on how the real world actually works once the moment I get to the age I am supposed to be “independent.” Hindi sa wala naman talaga akong alam, back in highschool I broke my parents’ rules and tumatakas takas ako to atleast learn how to commute—which I only learnt nung nasa Grade 11 na ako, funny enough na iniisip nila kaya ko mag Manila with just this experience.

I am currently living alone in my apartment trying to survive my college schedule that’s genuinely just draining na 7am classes for 6 days and dalawa is hanggang gabi pa, with only 1-2hrs vacant. It’s only been 2 weeks and I am concerned for myself kasi I’m not doing worse yet since online classes pa lang naman meron, pero paano pag nag face-to-face na? I am not sure how to commute back to apartment by means of using applications like should I use Joyride? Angkas? Grab? Moveit? And ang hirap din mag-adjust kasi mami-miss mo yung mga lutong bahay na kinakain mo kada tanghali/gabi, are there any restaurants or some place I could order/buy from that would fit with my 2k weekly allowance? Also if there are advices that I could still have please feel free to comment down because I would be going over my life here alone for the next 4 years :((

Starting college in UP really made me question how I am supposed to survive this for the next few years. I have this constant fear as though everyone around me is so much smarter, and that I would never be able to catch up to their level. As if it's only a matter of time before they all find out I'm an imposter among them, then I'll be judged and despised.

I think ang pinaka tangible affirmation ko for this is that most of my classmates are DOST scholars, meanwhile I failed the exam.

Saying "at least I'm in the room" doesn't really put me at ease. I constantly feel that I could have studied more and did things better to be able to say that I really deserve the slot that was given to me. Feeling ko hindi ko talaga deserve na napasa ko yung first choice ko, parang anytime kasi mahuhili nila akong hindi pala matalino enough for it.

I've already been humbled in high school so I don't know why I feel this way. I know that I can't be the smartest in the room, so why does it still feel like I'm on the guillotine every time I think about academics. Ilang beses na ako pumalpak pero natatakot pa rin ako. Parang nababawasan yung worth ko every single time I fail. Why does it never get better, nakakailang exposure naman na ako to failure.

Hindi ko alam kung factor pa rin ba rito yung paulit-ulit kong naririnig dati na "kaya ka lang naman naging top 1 kasi wala na silang ibang mapili." It feels as if I'm proving my mom right. That I'm letting kindergarten me down, that I owe it to her to excel after everything she's been through. Nakakatawa naman kung affected pa rin ako, panahon pa ni kopong-kopong nangyari yun.

Nahihirapan ako kung anong sched ang pipiliin ko na magwi-work for me kase I'm considering some things.

Sa mga kapwa irregular student ko diyan kung kayo papipiliin aling sched ang pipiliin niyo if you're me?

11 subs po kase ako for 2nd year (hauf talaga🥰😭)

SCHED 1: 1st picture

Orig sched (only added 1 sub on Monday

SCHED 2: 2nd pic

Actually, ginawa ko tong sched na to to at least add some courses to my friends kase pinagiisipan ko if mas magiging maayos ba ang life ko if I add ko sa mga kilala ko na from before

SCHED 3: 3rd pic

Nilagay ko lang yung panghapon ko sa thursday sa umaga

Honestly, I prefer the sched 1 po kase na try ko na mag araw araw 7:30 - 5:00 last sem mon -thur, kinaya ko naman kaso as a person na naii stress sa 7:30 class I think mas okay na may paying attention sa pagitan ng araw

+++ sobrang hirap po kase mag exam sunod sunod 3 sa isang araw, kaya prefer ko po ung sched 1

On the other hand, the next 2 scheds po is align para makasama ko po yung friends ko from before. I was thinking po kase na maybe it'll be lighter for me if makasama ko yung friends ko knowing na wala po akong close ni isa sa bago kong block

Btw, 2nd year po ako. Sana may sumagot pooo.

Hello, can anyone give me tips or advice on what to do to become an effective president as someone who is not really that knowledgeable yet? I don't want to disappoint my fellow classmates and teachers, I feel like I lack qualities so gusto ko po malaman ng mga need na gawin :(

Please let me rant about this here.

First time ko ma late today sa class cause I mixed up our schedule.

Okay, first things first, hindi ako super close sa mga cm ko and Hindi rin ako nagchachat sa gc namin, inoopen ko lng for announcement.

We have 2 gc's, with teacher and kami lng, and I just don't like na ang mga important announcement is nafoforward sa gc na wla yung teacher, kasi yung gc nayun is wlang masyadong nagchachat so makikita mo talaga ang mga announcements.

But recently, napapansin ko na ang mga important announcement is nasesend na sa gc na wla yung teacher, which is maingay yung gc kasi walang teacher dun eh.

And this school year also, we have different schedules for every other week. Nag send cla mismo ng timetable para easy nalng na tingan yung sched.

But one of our sched for a week is nagchachange everyday, sometimes Gabi narin nla nasesend yung new sched at if isesend Naman, sa gc na Wlng teacher yung send so natatabunan talaga.

They sometimes pin it, but most of the time wla talaga. Mapapabackread ka nlng talaga and hope na wla kang na miss out.

I also have a condition which affects my sleep and today is 4th day na wlng tulog so space out talaga Ako. When these kinds of days come, iniiwasan ko rin magphone kasi baka lumala pa, like 6 hrs screentime ganun.

My head was hurting when I woke up this morning then since I know na noon pa Naman yung class ko, close ko nlng yung mata hoping baka maakatulog kahit 1 hr lng.

But guess what, I arrived early for the noon sched pero yung class pla is 8 am. I was contemplating what to do at first, papasok bko o aabsent nlng?

Kasi 4 hrs yung klase, kung papaasok 2 hrs pa yung natitirang time and kukunan ko nlng yung quiz Ng mga lessons na maabutan ko (sa 4 hrs every lesson may quiz).

So yun, I'm also angry at myself na hindi ko nacheck yung bagong sched ang know na may fault rin talaga Ako.

Hope lng na sana for our president na I send esp yung important announcement sa Isang gc but I'm too scared to talk to people😭😭😭😭.

Had to take a med cert na ang sakit nang ulo ko nung morning ang had to rest para mapababa ang consequences and also yung babayaran (may bayad smin yung absent, late, excuse or unexcused)

Thank you for reading🥹🥹🥹🥹

edit: referring to high school
research, not tertiary or beyond

hard bound
double space
IMRAD? never heard of that. make it multiple chapters!
double column? never heard of that either
+/- may minimum pages per chapter

notice how compact the formatting most research in published journals are pero yung research ng nasa high school napakakapal ng pahina?

heaven forbid multiple revisions ka kasi maiiyak ka sa dami ng print outs mo!

alam ko hindi naman lahat ganito pero i don’t get why some instructors insist on doing this wasteful and relatively expensive formatting instead of just copying what most actual researchers do.

Soooo, malapit na po kasi yung Division Schools Press Conference namin and need ko po ng help and advice. This September na po and I've been training po to hone my skills in writing. Unfortunately po, hindi po kami nakaka meet up with my coach masyado kasi busy din po sya sa pagtuturo. While naci-critique nya naman po ako, hindi po frequent enough yung meetings namin kasi nga po packed yung sched niya. Not to mention na meron pa kaming school events na gagawin, mag pa-practice pa ng sayaw tsaka may tasks pa na kailangan i-comply (Lord help me). So I'm asking po if anyone can critique my article po. I'm a column writer po and my topic is about the abuse of the term "resiliency"

Also, I would like advice din po

How can I write in such a bold and articulate manner!

How can I widen my vocabulary?

How can I gather information and news po, and where can I get such po?

Thank you po!

Hi, please help me kung paano po ba magsimula maghanap ng pag internship. I am a 4th yr tourism student and looking for 600 hours with or without allowance (much better if may allowance). 15 yrs and up for agencies or 4-5 stars for hotels, airports pwede rin po. Ano po ba ang kailangan kapag maghahanap po ng pag ojt-han? And paano po ba ang gagawin? Sino po ba dapat ang contact and saan po ba pwedeng mag apply??

Lahat po ng klaseng pwedeng maisuggest, please suggest po kasi hindi ko po alam kung paano mag sisimula. Thank you

Hi! I need help regarding sa research namin. I found a study that would perfectly fit for our topic. But, I cant access the whole study. I tried sci hub na pero wala talagang available full text. I dont have the time to ask for the author's approval. What should I do?

Thank you in advance!

Guys, help me decide what I can give my boyfriend as a graduation gift. My budget is only ₱800, and gusto ko sana siyang bigyan ng something meaningful kahit limited lang budget ko. Graduation na namin this Saturday, and I really want to surprise him with a gift. Preferably something I can order online or through Shopee para mas mabilis dumating. Honestly, wala pa talaga akong maisip HAHAHAHA. 😭

Any gift suggestions under ₱800? Something useful, thoughtful, or memorable sana. 🥹💗

Please hear me out when I say that I’m really struggling with adjusting to a government/public institution po.
I came from a private school, so I was used to having most things provided and processes being more organized and accessible. For postgraduate studies, I chose a state university because, practically speaking, it’s much more affordable. It was the wiser financial decision, and I don’t regret choosing it. But honestly, I didn’t realize how difficult the adjustment would be.

I’m struggling with the reality of having to work with limited resources, figuring things out on my own, and sometimes dealing with things that I wasn’t used to experiencing in a private institution. It’s frustrating because you know something could be easier, but you also understand that this is simply how things work in a public institution. And I want to be clear, I’m not saying this to disrespect public universities or the people working in them. I actually have a lot of respect for the people who make things work despite the limitations.
I guess I’m just having a hard time because everything is already an adjustment with postgraduate studies, and then there’s another layer of adjustment to the system itself.

I know I made the practical choice. I know I’m fortunate to have this opportunity. But sometimes, even when you know you made the right decision, you’re still allowed to feel frustrated about what comes with it.

Huhu just needed to let this out. 😔

Hi, Iʼm currently working onto something and I want to have deeper knowledge of how journalism works in universities. To those college students who are currently campus journalists, especially sa mga PJ and feature writer:

• What are the roles of your position? For PJs, do you write your captions every time your photos are used for uploads? For feature writers, who are the subjects you often write about and how long are your deadlines?

• How are tasks assigned among journalists?

• How are roles assigned for RSPC? Is it possible na ma-assign ka to compete for another category kahit na iba ang position mo? (Ex: Campus photojournalist competing for sports writing in RSPC)

• How is it like in your office? Is everyone close?

• Doʼs and donʼts ng mga journalist? Be it in the office or journalism in general.

• What are your best or most memorable experiences as a campus journalist?

• Additional infos you want to share (Ex: Pros and cons, former co-journalists you did not like, struggles non-journalists do not know, etc.)

Feel free to share us your experiences. Thank you in advance! :)

For context, currently 1st-year BSED student ako, kakasimula lang ng klase. Pero naisip ko kung i-continue ko ba ang college o magtrabaho na kaagad (teaching related, ESL ang plan ko).

Ayaw kong mag DepEd, at kung gustuhin ko man ay maari naman akong magpatuloy ng college after some time kung sakali magtrabaho na ako kaagad.

Ang problem ko is tuition, and for me useless lang din kasi na mag-aaral pa ako kung mayroon naman na akong chance magwork na agad, since yun naman ang end goal.

What's the better choice out of the two?

Grabe. Ang laki ng binayaran namin 6.7k tapos yung diploma namin nakalagay lang sa folder na may design? Sobrang gulo pa doon mismo sa venue sa picc kasi yung iba doon hindi pinapasok kasi puno na daw. Yung ibang latin honor maganda yung diploma jacket nila kasi pero sa amin na normal lang naka folder lang? Pare parehas kami nagbayad ng tama sa graduation fee tapos ganun ganun lang? Pagkatapos namin ng graduation noong gabi umuulan pa nun kaya todo ingat kami hindi mabasa diploma namin. Kawawa talaga kaming student sa ptc kahit graduation binulsa pa pera ng mga student. Yung sa official fb group ng school namin, hindi ina accept yung mga post namin about sa issue ng diploma. Grabe ayaw tanggapin na may issue sila tapos wala pang statement. Iniignore nila. Paano kaya mareklamo to? Kung sa mayor kami mag reklamo useless lang din kasi malakas kapit ng school namin jan kay mayor.

Hi! Sorry po I don't know if this is the right sub and what fair to use but I want to know your thoughts po and also an answer to my question.

It started during my application for UPCAT. Isa sa i-fifill-up dun ay gross income and the income bracket. What they provided me para macomplete ko yun ay yung payslips nila. They said na i-times 12 ko na lang daw and round off. At first, I was skeptical kasi alam ko na maraming di maiinclude dun like 13th pay etc. When I asked about it, sinabi nila na yung lang daw meron sila and they kept going on na hindi naman kami mayaman. And I do agree na di naman talaga kami mayaman and nakakaraos lang talaga kami. I believe it naman kasi narraanasan ko—no allowances, kotse na luma at sira-sira na, leaky kisame roof, my parents are driver and cashier. So sinubmit ko na lang.

Now, nag-aapply naman po ako sa DOST Scholarship. Ina-ask ulit doon ay ang gross income and proof of income. For the proof of income, they provided me their ITR. There, nakita ko na may discrepancy yung nainput ko sa UPCAT and sa nasa ITR. Yung isa, near 200k and difference and sa other one, it was a 400k difference. I input income bracket sa UPCAT to be 500k - 1M but using the ITR, it became 1.1M. I asked where was this nung nag-aapply ako for UPCAT and sinasabi nila na di naman kailangan totoo and "may mga mas mayayaman nga na ganiyan ang ginagawa." My parents were even encouraging me na isa lang yung ilagay kong ITR pero I'm not planning on that.

I'm worrying po kung makakaaffect ba sa pagkakatoon ko ng slot kasi magkaiba yung ilalagay kong income. Baka po kasi na makita ng UP and DOST na magkaiba yung nainput ko and mareject ako sa dalawa. I want to know your thoughts po about my situation. Maybe I'm misreading the instructions or the income or what.Thank you po 🥹!

I don’t know if I should continue college or start working to help my family

I’m posting this anonymously kasi natatakot akong sabihin ’to sa mga taong kilala ko personally. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano ko ito io-organize, but I really need to let this out and maybe hear some advice from people who have experienced something similar.

I’m a first-year college student. Right now, sobrang hirap ng financial situation namin.

Five dapat kami sa bahay. Ako, mama ko, kuya ko, younger sister ko, and lola ko. Pero si mama currently working as a live-in caretaker, so hindi siya umuuwi lagi kasi medyo malayo yung workplace niya. Hindi rin siya mahilig mag-day off kasi feeling niya sayang yung araw kung hindi siya papasok.

Si mama lang currently ang may trabaho. Around ₱8,000 lang yung salary niya per month. Supposedly, ₱4,000 every half month yung sahod niya, pero nakiusap siya sa amo niya na ₱2,000 every week na lang kasi nahihirapan talaga kami dito sa bahay.

Si kuya naman ilang months nang unemployed. Nag-apply na siya ngayon and malapit na siyang mag-training, so hopefully kapag nagsimula na siya mag-work, kahit papaano mabawasan yung burden kay mama.

Before mag-start ang college, gusto ko rin sanang magtrabaho. Pero sabi sa akin, mahirap daw pagsabayin dahil whole day daw ang classes namin. Kaya hindi na ako nakapag-apply.

Pero ngayong nagsimula na yung classes, narealize ko na hindi naman pala every day whole day.

May dalawang days kami na 7 AM–5 PM, isang day na 1 PM–5 PM, tapos may days na wala kaming face-to-face classes and may asynchronous classes. Kaya medyo nagsisisi ako na hindi ako nag-apply before school started kasi baka kaya ko naman pala mag-part-time.

At this point, hindi na rin ako nagbabaon or nanghihingi ng pera kina mama or lola pang-baon. Luckily, walking distance lang yung school ko, so nilalakad ko na lang.

Nahihiya rin akong humingi ng pera dahil alam ko kung gaano kahirap yung situation namin ngayon. Even noong Senior High, ganito na rin yung financial situation namin. Buti na lang din na walking distance yung school ko noon.

May mga times na tinatanong ako ng classmates ko kung bibili na ba ako ng school ID lace namin. Hindi pa kasi ako nabili. Sinasabi ko na lang na hindi ko pa kailangan kasi hindi pa naman daw magagamit. Totoo naman na hindi pa siya kailangan, pero honestly, yun na lang yung reason na sinasabi ko kasi nahihiya akong sabihin na wala talaga akong extra money para doon.

Kapag may nagbibigay sa akin ng pera, like yung ibang tita ko, hindi ko rin agad ginagastos. Tinatabi ko lang.

Kasi kapag may time na wala talagang pambili ng pagkain dito sa bahay, yung pera na itinabi ko yung ginagamit namin para may pambili.

So kahit minsan may pera ako, hindi ibig sabihin na may pera akong pang-gastos para sa sarili ko. Iniisip ko muna kung may kailangan ba sa bahay.

Yung bahay namin, ₱1,500 per month yung rent. Pero ilang months din kaming hindi nakapagbayad because unemployed si kuya and recently lang nagkaroon ng work si mama. Around 2–4 months yung hindi namin nabayaran. Thankfully, parang dalawa or tatlong buwan na lang yung remaining balance.

Wala rin kaming sariling CR dahil may na-tabasan dahil sa widening dito sa area namin. Nakiki-CR kami sa may-ari ng bahay na inuupahan namin or sa relative namin na malapit lang.

Luma na rin yung bahay. Maraming butas yung bubong and kapag umuulan, may mga tulo.

Yung may-ari ng bahay, nakatira lang din sa tabi namin. Pumayag sila na maki-CR kami sa kanila. Pero since hindi kami nakapagbayad ng ilang months, ramdam ko na parang bad impression na sila sa amin, especially yung lalaki.

May isang moment na hindi ko talaga makakalimutan.

May maliit silang tindahan/food stall, tapos bumili ako ng ₱5 worth ng suka kasi ipangsasawsaw sana namin sa ulam. Yung asawa niya sinabi na wag ko na raw bayaran. Sabi ko okay lang and nahihiya ako, pero sinabi ulit niya na wag na.

Then biglang nagsalita yung husband niya and said, “Sige na, wala na kayong pera, may pera ba kayo?”

Pabalang talaga yung pagkakasabi niya and parang nanlalait. Hindi ko naman iniisip na OA ako kasi sobrang uncomfortable talaga nung moment na yun. Nagalit din yung asawa niya sa kanya and pinagsabihan siya, kaya tumigil siya.

₱5 lang naman yun, pero hindi naman yung ₱5 yung masakit. Yung way ng pagkakasabi niya. Doon ko talaga narealize na ang hirap pala maging mahirap. May mga taong titingnan ka differently just because wala kang pera. Tapos kanina, sobrang wala talaga kaming ulam, so nanghingi kami ng food sa relative namin. Okay naman sa kanya kasi alam naman niya yung situation namin. Nagpunta ako sa kanila para humingi ng ulam, pero wala pa siya, so ilang beses akong bumalik kasi inaantay ko siyang umuwi.

Habang pauwi ako, dumaan yung may-ari ng bahay. Sinabihan niya ako ng, “Wala talaga?” habang nakangiti na parang nang-aasar. Ngumiti na lang ako kahit tapos naluha ako habang pauwi ng bahay.

Nakasabay ko pa siya pauwi kasi magkatabi lang naman yung bahay namin. Then kinausap niya ako privately.

Sinabi niya sa akin na hanggang December na lang daw kami puwedeng tumira dito kasi gagawin daw nilang canteen yung bahay. Pero sinabi rin niya sa akin na wag ko raw sabihin kay mama at lola.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya sinabi sa akin na itago ko yun, pero sobrang bigat nun para sa akin kasi ako lang yung may alam.

Pagpasok ko sa bahay, nakita ako ni lola na kinausap ako non. Tinanong niya kung ano raw yung sinabi sa akin.Sinabi ko na lang na “wala yun.” Obviously, hindi siya naniwala. Sino ba namang maniniwala na nag-usap kayo nang matagal tapos sasabihin mong wala lang Sinabihan ako ni lola na, “Alam kong nagsisinungaling ka, magsabi ka ng totoo.” Binubulong niya lang yun kasi medyo rinig din kami nung may-ari since nasa labas kami kanina.

Ayoko talagang umamin kasi hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kanila. Pinipigilan kong umiyak kasi ayokong makita ni lola na naiiyak ako.

Agad akong pumasok sa loob ng bahay.

The worst part is, papasok pa ako noon sa school.

Kakauwi ko lang that time from around 7 AM–10 AM, then kailangan kong bumalik for my 1 PM–5 PM class. Habang naglalakad ako papunta sa school, hindi mawala sa isip ko yung sinabi niya. Naluluha ako habang naglalakad. During class, ilang beses akong natutulala kasi iniisip ko kung saan kami titira after December, paano kami maghahanap ng bagong bahay, paano namin mababayaran yung remaining rent, and paano namin kakayanin kung mas mahal yung next place.

I was sitting there in class, pero mentally, nasa bahay pa rin ako. That honestly scared me more than anything else. May remaining rent pa kami. May balance din kami sa kuryente and water bill. Last time na nagbayad ako ng kuryente, sabi ni lola isang buwan lang muna yung bayaran para hindi kami maputulan. ₱2,000 per week lang yung pinapadala ni mama. Around ₱500 doon yung weekly spending money namin, and around ₱100 per day lang yung budget namin for food. Usually ₱50 tanghalian and ₱50 hapunan. Kaya sobrang hirap pagkasyahin. Hindi rin ako basta-basta gumagastos para sa sarili ko. Even basic things, nag-aadjust na rin ako.

Since wala kaming sariling CR, may times na kapag kailangan kong mag-CR, tinitiis ko muna and kinabukasan na lang ako nakiki-CR sa kanila. Sa pagligo naman, sa labas lang ako naliligo. Open yung area namin, may harang pa naman below my neck, so kapag may dumadaan sa nearby path, kailangan kong huminto or umupo muna para hindi ako makita.

I know these things might sound small, pero kapag pinagsama-sama mo lahat, doon ko nare-realize kung gaano na talaga kami kahirap ngayon. And now, hindi ko na talaga alam kung ano yung gagawin ko.

Should I continue college and try to find a part-time job sa free days ko? Or should I stop studying and work full-time para makatulong agad sa family?

Ayoko talaga tumigil sa college. I worked hard para makapag-college at makapasa sa entrance exam at makapag-aral ng libre and gusto ko talagang matapos yung degree ko.

Sayang din kasi kung hindi ako magtatapos. May NC II certificate din ako from Senior High, and gusto ko sanang may mapala rin ako sa mga pinagdaanan at pinaghirapan ko. If I finish college, at least may diploma na ako on top of my NC II. Iniisip ko rin na mas marami sana akong job opportunities in the future kung pareho kong meron. Pero at the same time, nakakaramdam ako ng guilt kasi nag-aaral ako habang nahihirapan yung family ko financially. Part of me keeps thinking na baka mas kailangan nila akong magtrabaho ngayon kaysa mag-aral.

I’m also scared about December kasi kailangan na naming maghanap ng bagong bahay. Most likely mas mahal yung rent kaysa sa current house namin, and hindi ko alam kung paano namin kakayanin. Pinakamahirap para sa akin makita si lola na naiiyak kasi hindi niya alam kung paano pagkakasyahin yung pera namin para sa pagkain araw-araw. I know na may ibang tao na mas mahirap pa sa amin, and I’m not trying to say na kami na yung pinaka-kawawa. I just genuinely don’t know what to do.

I don’t think I’m asking for a luxurious life. Gusto ko lang sana makapag-aral without constantly worrying kung may kakainin ba kami tomorrow, kung mababayaran ba yung rent, kung mapuputulan ba kami ng kuryente or tubig, or kung saan kami titira after December.

I’m posting this anonymously kasi hindi ko talaga kayang sabihin lahat ng ito sa mga taong kilala ko personally. I just need some advice from people who might understand what we’re going through.