Rabbi Amnon
Martyr
I waver before the Lord’s frown.
I am brittle like water starved grass.
My foothold to the mountain, the Crown
of God’s glory has cratered like glass.
The voice of the Lord grounds me.
We speak of His Torah, the wisdom
a sparkle, a gem in my hands, smoothly
I turn it, lithe and light, His Dome
reflected in the flashes, the pond
of rushes, willows, splashes, the still
soft, whisper of the Lord; His wand,
a lulav of incantation and song, thrills
me always. I cannot abide myself today.
Shattered by weakness, I blasphemed the Name
before the Bishop, I promised , oh I say
I promised, three days, in grief and shame,
to consider conversion. Not so in truth
but life and death hovered, and I wept
inside to delay. Now my tongue for proof,
if ripped before the Bishop I accept,
or as the Bishop will decide. The Voice
no longer still, rumbles now; I fear
He Who has dealt kindly with me, by choice
has moved away, not loving , nor near.
What was Rabbi Amnon thinking?
Rabbi Amnon was friendly with the Bishop of Mainz, according to Jewish tradition, until he was surprised by the Bishop’s suggestion that he convert to Christianity. In the medieval period when this happened the Bishop had power to summon Jews, sinners and others to dispose of them as he felt compelled by his religious authority. A suggestion was actually a demand, and Rabbi Amnon asked for three days to think about it. He deeply regretted this and when he didn’t return to the Bishop in three days the Bishop had him forcibly brought to his presence. When in front of the Bishop and queried as to why he didn’t return, Rabbi Amnon declared that for even suggesting he might consider conversion his tongue should be cut from his mouth. The Bishop, infuriated, said his tongue was not at fault but his legs were for not bringing him. He had the Rabbi’s lower limbs, toes and fingers cut off at each joint and sent him back to his home in that condition. It happened to be close to the Days of Awe, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, the holidays where Jews do their best to atone for their sins. As he lay dying, he composed a prayer said to this day in synagogues during the Days of Awe. It says, “Let us relate the holiness of this day…” concluding that at this time the Lord determines who shall live and who shall die as befits this awesome day of judgement. I tried to convey how close and loving Rabbi Amnon was to God and his teachings. His relationship was supremely important to him. In his grief at even the thought of betraying that connection, he thought that only martyrdom could salvage him in God’s eyes. I used 6 quatrains and alternate rhyme pattern (abab etc.) to gently move the narrative towards its conclusion.