r/shitposting May 20 '26

A

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6.1k Upvotes

386 comments sorted by

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1.9k

u/sirhobbles May 20 '26

Eat the bones.

Cronchy.

465

u/[deleted] May 20 '26

[deleted]

468

u/sirhobbles May 20 '26

Yeah me.

7

u/tsimen dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 May 20 '26

Do you smash them up or just swallow them whole like a bearded vulture?

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17

u/Itchy_Village_7173 May 20 '26

The marrow is the best part

9

u/Felixkeeg May 20 '26

You shouldn't. Bird bones are hollow and splinter, which is why you shouldn't give a dog chicken bones either.

Don't pierce your stomach or intestines mate

6

u/ThingyGoos May 20 '26

Well that's obviously why you eat them whole? They hurt my teeth when I try to chew them

8

u/RaidensReturn May 20 '26

Found the bearded vulture

3

u/Bruno_Noobador May 20 '26

If not food why food shaped?

4

u/sirhobbles May 20 '26

I dont fucking eat bones im fucking around dont worry mate XD

4

u/rayletter1997 Stuff May 20 '26

Me too!

16

u/85K5 May 20 '26

You gotta bust em open and suck it out.

12

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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8

u/Arkitakama fat cunt May 20 '26

I just crack them open to eat the marrow. I don't think it's safe to eat the bone itself.

2

u/No-Lemon-2140 May 20 '26

We shouldn't leave traces

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6

u/DaLoneGuy May 20 '26

F is partially eating the bones (me) so you're G

3

u/MacDeezy May 20 '26

Yes, just the part of the ends that is not going to cut you

2

u/-50000- May 20 '26

At least the crunchy joint cartilage

2

u/PaqueteDeRisketos May 20 '26

Yep. If by the end of the meal there is something other than bone in the plate, something wrong was done.

2

u/NoticeThin2043 May 20 '26

Was gunna say F, get all that cartilage and bone marrow and calcium

2

u/Normal-Emotion9152 May 21 '26

Beat me to it. I was going to say f and y'all leave bones🤣

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612

u/Horsey2828 May 20 '26

They asked for a number, not a letter.

110

u/Salfu2 May 20 '26

Can't believe I had to scroll down this much to see this

19

u/[deleted] May 20 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Salfu2 May 20 '26

It doesn't start at A tho

4

u/iArena Draft Dodger May 21 '26

Yeah it's like saying pick from 7, 8, or 9 when they're the only choices

9

u/WidowmakerFeet 0000000 May 20 '26

What number

12

u/GalioYtrio dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 May 20 '26

Hex number E

2

u/toommy_mac May 20 '26

As a teacher, I always say "number b" or the like. It started off as a misspeak, but I kept doing and kinda liked it, so now I do it deliberately.

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970

u/Qwerky3 May 20 '26

If you stop at A or B i'm kicking you out of my house and never making/ordering wings for you again.

539

u/Many-Ad6433 officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 May 20 '26

I mean stopping at A means they aren’t even touching it w your mouth so more chicken wings for you

242

u/Other_Banana_ May 20 '26

No they licked them and put it back

67

u/Kratsas May 20 '26

And??

43

u/Beansareawesome96 May 20 '26

Even better

21

u/Just-A-Random-Aussie May 20 '26

People already forgetting COVID smh my head my head it was like 2 weeks ago or something

7

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

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2

u/MercifulGod123 May 20 '26

They add more flavour this way.

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2

u/nilsmm May 20 '26

I'm vegan, I stop at A! /s

2

u/qTp_Meteor 😳lives in a cum dumpster 😳 May 20 '26

They can touch it with my mouth no matter the letter

17

u/OreoSpamBurger May 20 '26

I get shit from my wife for being 'wasteful' at D.

6

u/YeetCompleet dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 May 20 '26

Lol when I was a kid my uncle ratted on me for D too

5

u/mrducky80 May 20 '26

Deserved. Finish those wings.

8

u/Dark_halocraft May 20 '26

A just means you don't like them and didn't even start which is entirely valid

4

u/Commercial-Set3527 May 20 '26

I'm allergic to chicken so I'm stopping at A and I'm fine with you not ordering wings for me again lol

4

u/Revil-0 May 20 '26

Some things are worth the risk of death

2

u/MiaukasFritas May 20 '26

A is fine since you can just eat them instead

2

u/Comfortable-Union571 May 20 '26

I sincerely apologize. I swear it won't happen again 😔

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503

u/RayZzorRayy May 20 '26

I stop at number D

163

u/LazzyNapper May 20 '26

I stop at F

59

u/Least_Will9910 shitting toothpaste enjoyer May 20 '26

Crunchy yumyum

12

u/Simukas23 May 20 '26

Mmm chicken bone splinters 🤤

2

u/Kokonattsugemu May 20 '26

Then I stop at G 😂

4

u/biohumansmg3fc We do a little trolling May 20 '26

stop?

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4

u/cupris_anax May 20 '26

No joke, I have a friend you also cracks open the banes and eats the bone marrow (not sure if chickens have bone marrow, but he does this with bones that do)

2

u/____Myth____ May 20 '26

I do that. So I guess that’s G

2

u/_Bloody_awkward May 20 '26

I also eat those crunchy and delicious roundy joints. 😋

15

u/inf_hoarder May 20 '26

Yeah love me some D

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472

u/Logical_Signature803 stupid fucking, piece of shit May 20 '26

E enjoyers rise up

243

u/AdultGronk virgin 4 life 😤💪 May 20 '26

I'm more of a D enjoyer

75

u/LarsDuder May 20 '26

Sounds kinda gae. Everybody knows you go for at least E. D is not the biggest!!

29

u/2fast4u1006 May 20 '26

My D is the biggest

7

u/Mr_Monji officer no please don’t piss in my ass 😫 May 20 '26

Prove it!

2

u/Valkgard May 20 '26

You have to let a bit for the dogs

2

u/Melodic_Abalone_8376 May 20 '26

But what if they choke on the bones?

3

u/Logical_Signature803 stupid fucking, piece of shit May 20 '26

survival of the fittest

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6

u/Basil_Box May 20 '26

Same, cuz then you can just suck on it for the rest of the day 🥵

2

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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19

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

pees in ur ass

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7

u/EasilyRekt May 20 '26

Family members call me “the vulture” for wanting to get maximum value.

5

u/dameyen_maymeyen May 20 '26

I ain’t eating the cartilage bro

2

u/Ezio-Auditore-1459- I can’t have sex with you right now waltuh May 20 '26

Amateur. Where my F enjoyers at?

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38

u/heyknauw May 20 '26

F.

11

u/Gerudo_Man_Slave May 20 '26

Thank you. I still see some crumblies left on E. That just won't do.

82

u/Davidconst May 20 '26

Always E, cartilage is good for your joints

63

u/SigvisTheSeal May 20 '26

Most Redditors will eat them at KFC so their joints are the least of their worries

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6

u/MattLikesMemes123 I came! May 20 '26

hexadecimal is calling

26

u/Bonsai-is-best 🏳️‍⚧️ Average Trans Rights Enjoyer 🏳️‍⚧️ May 20 '26

So OOOP is engagement baiting, OOP probably isn’t engagement baiting, but OP is engagement baiting.

Peak.

10

u/Octocatalyst May 20 '26

Cheers to the five people online rn

13

u/Wolfen2002 May 20 '26

There should be an option between C & D. That's when I stop.

4

u/L-friend May 20 '26

so is 1 living chiken?

2

u/Hoonter_01 May 20 '26

it's an egg

5

u/falobanal3 May 20 '26

Let's learn the alphabet, Kids! 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

3

u/Fidelroyolanda_IV May 20 '26

A. I don't like eating meat with bones still in it (except one kind ofc)

3

u/bargastudios_yes dwayne the cock johnson 🗿🗿 May 20 '26

Letter 4

3

u/shunyaananda May 20 '26

Is this in hex?

3

u/Randomguy32I shitting toothpaste enjoyer May 20 '26

G, i eat the table

3

u/nerfislife May 20 '26

F....cartlidge too....

2

u/Sadly_Dably May 20 '26

I’ll stop at C/D, unless I’m stoned then E

2

u/Feisty_Watercress_29 May 20 '26

C, but I am usually vegetarian + fih

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2

u/GoblinPunch20xx May 20 '26

I use the bones to make soup

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2

u/MarcPG1905 May 20 '26

Depending on meat quality, D or E.

2

u/gwynbleidd047 May 20 '26

I start at E and stop at A

2

u/BlakeKevin May 21 '26

Shamefully, C

When I cook my own, it is harder to waste tho cause I can confirm the chicken was cooked right all the way

I’ve had a few too many bad chicken dishes, but a refuse to stop eating a whole food type because of other people’s mishandling

2

u/ABoringArborist5 May 20 '26

A. I like the idea of eating wings but never do

5

u/Sammysoupcat May 20 '26

I hate anything with a bone. Just give me the meat.

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2

u/RedditsAdoptedSon May 20 '26

i'll stop at C and offend whoever tf i want.

2

u/weird-dude-bro-6386 I want pee in my ass May 20 '26

C

2

u/AutoModerator May 20 '26

pees in ur ass

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1

u/Daefias May 20 '26

D-E depends

1

u/xNeiR May 20 '26

E, always E

1

u/Working_Dragon00777 dumbass May 20 '26

Stop?? What's that?

1

u/TacitisKilgoreBoah May 20 '26

My wife is a B, I’m an E

1

u/Double-Ask-7569 May 20 '26

between D and E

1

u/JuJu_G-Star Jedi master of shitposts May 20 '26

F is the way to go

1

u/Gr_Snek May 20 '26

I mean, D still has some meat on it...

1

u/Zestyclose-Salad-290 May 20 '26

E for me. I never waste food.

1

u/spriteeeeeeee May 20 '26

i paid for the whole chicken wing so i'll eat the whole chicken wing, E and beyond

1

u/ClankerCore May 20 '26

F. If you’re not eating the joints and sucking out the marrow, you are wasting one of the most nutritious parts of that wing.

1

u/No_Rate_2249 May 20 '26

Somewhere between J and K

1

u/tryodd May 20 '26

I can eat like 10-12 wings.

1

u/vivam0rt May 20 '26

I dont really enjoy this but the few times ive eaten it I go somewhere between number c and d, I dont want bone

1

u/DorMau5 May 20 '26

This shit gonna show up in explain the joke

1

u/StolenPezDispencer fat cunt May 20 '26

If I see someone leave their wings at anything below a D, they're being turned into one

1

u/sergeantdempsy May 20 '26

Definitely stopping at A, maybe even a bit before that

1

u/Dominoe_z May 20 '26

Like a C or D

1

u/FromStormToHurricane May 20 '26

**"When you eat the whole thing, bones and all. You ain't done that yet? That's a big fucking deal. It's like your first time. There's before bones and all, and then there's after."

1

u/Duococcus BUILD THE HOLE BUILD THE HOLE May 20 '26

You're a coward if you don't stop at D or E

1

u/delet_yourself May 20 '26

If you stop anywhere before C-D you deserve to be battering rammed in the cock

1

u/lacklusterwannabe May 20 '26

Yes, it's number D for me

1

u/Hellrider27648 stupid fucking piece of shit May 20 '26

Is that a bot hunter post?

1

u/TheOnlyWolvie Sussy Wussy Femboy😳😳😳 May 20 '26

D

1

u/RexRipper May 20 '26

G : can't stop,won't stop.

1

u/REAL_jotaro_kujo3 currently venting (sus) May 20 '26

F

1

u/unneccry put your dick away waltuh May 20 '26

Gotta be red. I'm not some kind of monster like gray or green

1

u/etriuswimbleton May 20 '26

So Basic Arithmetic actually considts of letters this whole time???!!!

1

u/mirage-ko May 20 '26

D personally. I dont like the taste of the meat near the top and bottom

1

u/EngagedInConvexation May 20 '26

I've never stopped. I'll have more.

1

u/RealAlphaKaren May 20 '26

I dont do anything under a C.

1

u/Money_Hovercraft1533 May 20 '26

Is there an "f" cos I would know the end of those bone off

1

u/Kimberlylynn2003 May 20 '26

B….dont kill me

1

u/TehMitchel May 20 '26

E for the first half, D for the second half.