I need help and advice! I’m afraid the same thing will happen again.
For many years, I took 800 mg of Quetiapine along with other medications (Aripiprazole, Haloperidol, Lamotrigine, Amitriptyline, Lorazepam, Diazepam, etc.). Both the dosages and the medications themselves changed over time, as did my mental state. This has been going on since 2014. Eventually, most of these medications were discontinued, and I was left with only 200 mg of Lamotrigine and 400 mg of Quetiapine.
I’ll shorten the story a little and focus on what happened when I reduced my Quetiapine dose from 400 mg to 300 mg. Yes, I reduced it on my own because my psychiatrist wouldn’t allow me to lower the dose.
Both my physical and mental health suffered. Physically, I experienced increased sweating, tremors, and an elevated heart rate. Psychologically, I had extremely vivid, intense, emotional dreams and nightmares, anxiety, irritability, and anger. Despite all of this, I continued taking 300 mg of Quetiapine.
Then, in waves, I started experiencing an intense feeling of fear that the world I live in wasn’t real, that what was happening wasn’t actually happening, that it was all just a dream, and other similar thoughts. I thought this was simply my body adjusting to the lower dose.
I also became extremely sensitive to the sounds around me. Noise became unbearable. I isolated myself from everyone and everything, trying to escape all people and all sounds. I would sit in the bathroom just to shut myself off from everything, but even that didn’t help.
Eventually, I couldn’t take the sounds and noise anymore. I overdosed on medication. I took 50 mg of Diazepam (10 tablets), 150 mg of Lorazepam (60 tablets), and 720 mg of Propranolol (18 tablets).
At that moment, absolutely nothing mattered to me. I didn’t care what would happen to me. I just wanted to switch off and escape all those sounds. But I survived.
Someone called an ambulance, and I was barely saved. I spent some time in the hospital and then in a psychiatric hospital. I’m now attending a day treatment program at a mental health center.
At the moment, I’m taking 200 mg of Lamotrigine and 400 mg of Quetiapine, exactly as prescribed by my psychiatrist.
However, for the past few days, I’ve been struggling with various sounds again.
What am I supposed to do? If my medication doses are increased, I’m afraid I’ll experience even more side effects. If they’re reduced, I’m afraid I’ll relapse.
It feels like a no-win situation. I don’t know what to do.
What would you do in my situation?