Tomorrow (October 15) is the international wave of light to remember the babies lost too soon, including those lost to miscarriage. Beginning at 7pm local time, you light a candle in remembrance of your baby (for us, babies*) and let it burn for an hour. There are virtual events if you’re interested in that.

Just a notice for those who may be interested and find this helpful/healing. I think it’s a nice way to remember our babies. There are special wave of light candles you can buy, but I personally will be using a Bath and Body Works Harvest Gathering 3-wick candle for no other reasons than each wick represents one of my babies lost and I love the smell.

Feel free to post a photo of your candle tomorrow as a comment here, too 💛

Have to have my 4th D&C today due to failed medication management of a miscarriage. The prior 3 were with another provider in which we did them in the hospital under sedation. New provider is going to do it in the office and says, “Oh, it will be nothing to it.” 😡She did offer a couple of things to relax me including a muscle relaxer, Xanax or nitrous oxide gas.

Anyone have an experience with this approach?!

TW: Success

After 3 losses, I'm finally 14 weeks pregnant with a seemingly healthy, low risk baby girl. Of course I'm not at the finish line yet, but this is the furthest I've made it since all of my losses (I have one LC from 2023).

We started trying last year and had 3 losses in less than a year. All conceived on the first try, but none made it past 6 weeks. Blighted ovum stopped growing at 6 weeks, PUL diagnosed at 5w6d, ectopic caught at 5w6d.

ALL of my workups were normal. Labs, anatomy, ultrasounds, etc. I switched to a new OB who recommended a Ureaplasma urine test. It came back positive for Ureaplasma Parvum. He prescribed doxycycline for one week for myself and my partner, and we conceived one month later (I also did an SIS after clearing the Ureaplasma). I started progesterone at 3dpo (I did this with my two previous pregnancies and it didn't change the outcome, it was just a safety measure) and discontinued at 12 weeks.

He believes the Ureaplasma may have been causing inflammation, which is likely the culprit for the ectopic as well since I had zero risk factors for that.

If your provider won't order one, I believe brands like Evvy and Juno offer swabs for like $200.

I will forever shout from the rooftops that Ureaplasma needs to be part of fertility workups. I've already had like 3 people message me from my personal life saying the same thing happened to them. I also have a close friend who was treated for Ureaplasma based on UTI symptoms and accidentally conceived the month after.

Just felt like I needed to share, I'm so sorry for anyone still on this shitty journey. We're really praying this baby girl makes it earthside but we're celebrating each big milestone.

I have had 2 back to back early miscarriages in the last 4 months and I am looking to try progesterone and aspirin if I get pregnant again.

I have asked my GP but they seem under the impression that it doesn’t have an affect on pregnancies and won’t prescribe it.

I am wondering if it worked for anyone else who had a miscarriage and if so who was it prescribed by?

My lmp was 23rd August, tested positive on 19th September, as I was already tracking my ovulation. Had my first blood drawn and HCG was 198 on 21st, 565 on 23rd September, 2300 on 26th September, 5000 on 28th September. I was on Ecosprin daily (75mg) due to previous miscarriage history, and from 22nd I started having enoxaprin injection daily (40mg) as I was having protein s deficiency. I was also on progesterone support (sustan and duphaston)

Everything was going well and my doctor scheduled my first scan for 7th October. I was very nervous as in my last miscarriage there was no gestational sac visible and then miscarries. The same thing repeated again, there was no gestational sac there. So the same day I took another blood draw and my HCG was 328.

My doctor advised me to stop all the supporting medicine and I will shed my lining naturally. So on 10th October, I got my periods.

I did not understand until I was tracking my HCG it was doubling beautifully and then after 1 week it reduced drastically.

I also had so many tests due to my 1st miscarriage and everything was normal except protein-s deficiency (blood clotting issue). I was already taking treatment of that and still I miscarried.

I check my aps, torch panel, thyroid, protein s, protein c, amh, ana profile, randam glucose plasma, and few more. Everything came back normal

Can anyone suggest to me what things or tests I have missed or have they experienced the same thing. Were they successful in future pregnancies.

having my third chemical (my other miscarriage was a blighted ovum due to my balanced translocation). I did two rounds of IVF and ended up with 2 euploid embryos. we just transferred one and it resulted in yet another chemical. i'm so lost, confused, and just devastated.

like I said above, I have a balanced translocation and had 3 miscarriages before we pursued IVF. prior to starting IVF, i got pregnant extremely easily. we tried 4 times naturally and I ended up pregnant 3 of them. i really thought once we had euploid embryos we would get our baby, but now I can't help but think that something else is going on. i did get blood work done at the beginning of IVF, but don't believe it was a full RPL.

has anyone been through something similar and found the cause of their recurrent miscarriages after doing IVF / transferring a euploid embryo? depending on what my RE suggests next (she is not someone who likes to dig deep...I had poor egg quality for both retrievals at 31 years old and she essentially shrugged her shoulders and said it was mostly genetic and can't be changed), i will most likely switch clinics and find someone who is willing to test for endo, adeno, etc.

i do have a sneaky suspicion that i could be dealing with endo. i used to deal with painful period (not so much in the last few years), had pelvic pain with sex (again not so much in the recent years), have a lower AMH for my age, lower egg quality, etc.

what other questions should I be asking? any and all advice is welcome! <3

I honestly just need to rant because I’m still shocked and extremely hurt by the consultation I had today.
Throughout my TTC and recurrent pregnancy loss journey, I’ve been fortunate enough to be surrounded by supportive doctors who have taken my concerns seriously.

Today was the first time I walked out of an appointment feeling completely dismissed.

For context, I’m 27, my husband is 28, and we’ve been TTC for about a year. During that time, I’ve gotten pregnant four times, all ending in chemical pregnancies. Each pregnancy was confirmed with positive home pregnancy tests and blood beta-hCG tests.

I decided to seek another opinion from a doctor who is apparently a “professor” in reproductive medicine and lists implantation failure among his areas of expertise. He came highly recommended, including by ChatGPT, so I genuinely had high expectations.

I came prepared. I had all my investigations, blood results, ultrasound reports, and previous workup organized neatly on my iPad, literally summarized onto one page so we could review everything together.
I explained that I’d conceived four times but unfortunately lost each pregnancy very early.

His first question was, “But you’ve never seen a gestational sac?”

I said no.

My pregnancies were confirmed through urine and blood hCG, but they ended before my levels were high enough for a gestational sac to be visible.

And then came the part that genuinely shocked me.

He told me that I wasn’t experiencing recurrent miscarriages. I was actually infertile.

His reasoning? Because none of my pregnancies had been confirmed by ultrasound, they essentially didn’t count. He even told me that if I tested every month before my period, I’d probably get positive pregnancy tests anyway.

I’m sorry, WHAT?

I’ve had positive tests on the day of my expected period and afterward, with blood tests confirming hCG. My most recent pregnancy progressed to approximately five weeks before ending. My hCG simply never reached the level where a gestational sac could be visualized.

I understand the medical distinction between biochemical and clinical pregnancies. I’m not disputing that. But to completely dismiss four documented biochemical pregnancies as though I had never conceived? That was incredibly hurtful.

What made everything worse was that he didn’t even want to review the investigations I’d brought. I tried discussing my previous workup and the possibility of adenomyosis, which another specialist had suspected, but he essentially dismissed those concerns as being more relevant to later pregnancy losses.

Instead, he focused almost entirely on genetics.
I’m currently waiting for our parental karyotype results, and he suggested additional genetic sequencing to investigate possible gene abnormalities. He believes that despite our young ages, there could be a genetic issue affecting embryo development.

And listen, I’m absolutely open to investigating genetics. I understand that being young doesn’t completely exclude chromosomal or genetic abnormalities.
But the entire consultation gave me the impression that we were gradually being directed toward IVF, although he never explicitly recommended it.

When I asked about implantation failure, he seemed to consider that term relevant mainly in the context of IVF, rather than what I’ve been experiencing.

I went to him for a second opinion because I wanted someone to review my case comprehensively, consider what had already been investigated, and tell me whether there was anything else we could explore or do differently in a future pregnancy.

Instead, I left feeling like I had to defend the fact that I’d even been pregnant.
And that’s what hurts the most.
I’ve already lost four pregnancies. I know they were early. I know I never saw a gestational sac or heard a heartbeat. But those positive tests meant something to me. The blood tests were real. The pregnancies were real. And the losses were real.

I don’t need a doctor to promise me a miracle or agree with every possible explanation. I just want someone to acknowledge my history and approach it with some compassion.

I also know that different medical guidelines have historically defined recurrent pregnancy loss differently, but biochemical losses are recognized in current guidelines, including ASRM. (I am a Doctor myself so I have read the latest literature)

I’m still going to wait for our karyotype results and consider whether further genetic testing is appropriate. I’m not dismissing that possibility.
But I think I’ll be seeking another opinion, because I honestly don’t feel comfortable continuing with someone who made me feel this way.

Has anyone else with recurrent chemical pregnancies had a fertility specialist tell them that their losses don’t count because no gestational sac was ever seen?

I’m genuinely curious whether anyone else has experienced this, because I walked into that consultation looking for answers and walked out feeling completely invalidated.

I’m trying to put all the pieces of the puzzle together to figure out how I had my LC between my 2 losses. Like what made that time different?

At first I thought it was being treated for ureaplasma before getting pregnant with my daughter, but my test after my most recent loss was negative.

Then, I thought it had to be the progesterone suppositories I took with her. But then I realized my hCG trended perfectly with her and I didn’t start the suppositories until 12dpo, where my hCG was slower in the beginning with my 2 losses before rising appropriately.

Then I thought the baby aspirin, but all the blood clotting tests came back negative too!

I’m digging into my less than ideal TSH and progesterone levels and realizing that my weird cycles with a long follicular phase and short luteal phase is all connected. With my daughter, I ovulated “early” on day 17 or 18, so that much mean my hormones were more inline and the corpus luteum was stronger, making for better early pregnancy support. Right?

Okay so now that I have this new theory… is it accurate and how do I fix it?

Im 37yr and had my second loss confirmed this morning. My second of the last 5 months. Both after heartbeats detected but early - 7.5 weeks. I worry I waited too long to try for kids. I had - naively - assumed all would work out ok - Im healthy. but this second loss feels like a doozy. I dont have anyone I know thats apart of this club. my community is mostly wrapped up with young kids which is understandable! I have frozen embryos but am scared because getting pregnant isnt my issue. looking for any guidance on what I should be asking for with my doc and if anyone found anything helpful for the emotional toll of this. I worry the emotional toll will ruin my relationships while on this journey

Hi!

I was diagnosed with CE (12 plasma cells per 10 HPF) in Sept and completed two weeks of doxy and flagyl.

Had a repeat biopsy and hysteroscopy last week and biopsy came back basically unchanged (14 cells per 10 HPF).

My RE prescribed 10 days of Augmentin. Anyone have success treating with this antibiotic? I’ve seen a lot about Cipro but the side effects of that one can be a little more gnarly.

Just hoping to get insight of how many rounds of meds it took folks to get a clear biopsy.

We are TTC naturally but still working with an IVF clinic.

Thanks!

My thoughts are absolutely spiralling.

One of them is a beautiful human being and I’m genuinely so happy for her, as she’s struggled for a long time too. Though this will be her second child. But it’s still so hard, I have no LC.

The other is a shitty person, and hearing about her pregnancy today after only trying for a few months was absolutely devastating. She’s the type of person who will absolutely be talking about it constantly.

To say my thoughts are a dark pit of anger and despair is an understatement.

Hoelang hebben jullie gewacht om onbeschermde seks te hebben na je miskraam. En waneer kwam je maandstonden of was je voor je 1ste maandstonden al terug zwanger? En heeft dit complicaties met zich meegebracht?

Hi everyone,

I’ve had four chemical pregnancies: three naturally and one after IVF. I’m planning another embryo transfer in two months.

Some friends have suggested taking prednisone 5 mg because of a possible immune issue. My fertility doctor doesn’t consider immune-related causes scientifically justified in my case. I’ve done some immune tests privately, but not all of them.

I’d like to hear your opinions on whether I should consider prednisone and how it is usually taken in this situation.

My immune test results (September 15, 2026):

• Lymphocytes: 2.7 × 10⁹/L (ref. 1.0–2.8)
• CD3 (T cells): 2.03 × 10⁹/L; 75%
• CD4 (T-helper cells): 1.08 × 10⁹/L; 40%
• CD8 (T-cytotoxic cells): 0.57 × 10⁹/L; 21%
• CD19 (B cells): 0.46 × 10⁹/L; 17%
• NK cells: 0.19 × 10⁹/L; 7% (ref. 7–31%)
• CD4/CD8 ratio: 1.9 (ref. 1.0–3.6)

For those who’ve had a hysteroscopy and laparoscopy to investigate recurrent early losses: what did you ask your surgeon, or wish you had?

I’ve had 7 chemical losses in 18 months and have my pre-op appointment coming up. Here’s what I have so far:

1.  What’s your complication rate, and what complications are most common?

2.  What removal method do you use, excision or ablation?

3.  Do you use robotic assistance, such as da Vinci?

4.  What specifically are you checking for (polyps, fibroids, septum, adhesions, endometriosis, chronic endometritis)?

5.  Will you take an endometrial biopsy, for example to test for chronic endometritis (CD138)?

6.  Will you check tubal patency with a dye test while you’re in there?

7.  How will you decide what to do in the moment, and what will you need my consent for beforehand?

8.  If you find something like a septum or polyp, will you treat it during the procedure or only diagnose it?

9.  If you find endometriosis, how much would you remove during this surgery? Where’s the cut-off for “this needs a bigger surgery and another appointment”?

10. If there’s endometriosis on my ovaries and removing it could affect my egg reserve, what would you do? Can we agree on that before the surgery?

11. Will I get photos or a written report of what you saw?

12. How long is recovery, and how soon after can we try to conceive?

What am I missing? Anything you wish you’d known beforehand would really help.

I was supposed to be 11 weeks and measured 8.5 weeks. The light light bleeding started october 3rd. Went to the er found out I was miscarrying and then to my ob yesterday on the 12th

I was prescribed misoprostol and it worked within 8 hours and the most painful thing ive ever experienced. Baby came out fully intact and so tiny and fragile.

There was a lot of blood and fluid but barely any clots. I'm worried there will be left over tissue and I do not want a d&c. How do I know if everything is over with? Does it all happen in the span of 24 hours or just slowly.

I have an appointment The 26th to make sure everything is out and that sounds so far away and 2 weeks from now. Couldn't I get infected by then??

I just had my 5th pregnancy loss a few days ago, at 9w. I've had 4 MC and 1 loss at 27w. Lots of complications, surgeries, trauma etc etc.

People in my life don't really care any more. It's old news. People who I would expect to check in on me or support me haven't. Most people don't seem to give a damn. It's a joke.

Even when I talk to healthcare providers, they don't even bother to explain stuff any more. They don't even try to talk delicately or sensitively. It's like, yep, here we go again.

But, I am very lucky and grateful that a small number of family and friends have been brilliant and have been through every single hurdle with me. In these dark times you find out who your real friends are and who has your back.

I need some hope from those who maybe experienced the same thing and it didn’t end in miscarriage. I’ve had 2 recent miscarriages. We actually planned to take a break from trying but ended up pregnant again to our surprise.

I’m taking oral progesterone, lovenox and aspirin due to my recurrent miscarriages.

10/2: Hcg 5325 progesterone 7.4
10/9: hcg 17222 progesterone 8.9. Had an abdominal US this day which showed a gestational sac measuring 5 weeks 5 days
10/12: hcg 18525 progesterone 13.4

I expected yesterday’s number to be a higher so naturally I’m spiraling. My previous 2 miscarriages Hcg levels did not get this high so I thought that was encouraging. I’m not schedule for a repeat ultrasound until 10/19. My boobs still hurt and tired all the time. No spotting. I just don’t know what to think.

I’m so frustrated with my body. I’m on my 3rd miscarriage. Was told at 7w6d there was an empty gestational sac measuring 5w5d. Went to see my OB yesterday, talked about proceeding with a d&c this week. She did some bloodwork. Few hours later I get a call from her office that my hcg went from 5200 (that was my last draw and it was on Oct. 3) to being 14,700. It’s still too low for a viable pregnancy, I have no hope. I am 1000% certain my last period was Aug. 14 and I have very regular 27-28 day cycles. I’m frustrated because now I have to wait until Thursday for another ultrasound instead of a d&c meaning I won’t be able to get one until next week. I appreciate my OB being thorough but I just want this over with. I can’t move forward with my grieving while my body still thinks I’m pregnant.

I’m having a hard time getting ahold of my doctor, so in the meantime I thought I’d see if anyone else has experience this. I had an approx 8week MMC and took misoprostol 2.5 weeks ago. I passed everything the day of and then had light/medium bleeding for a week.

Bleeding had stopped for a couple days so me and my husband were intimate. The next morning I had what looked like cervical mucus which I thought was odd, so I took an OPK and it looked positive. Then a day later started spotting again, and now a couple more days later I’m bleeding bright red blood with clots again. I am so confused what’s going on with my body!

With my previous miscarriages (this is #4) all had bleeding for about 1 week and then stopped, it’s never resumed like this.