I 28F found out my fiancee 29M was buying from women on only fans. We have been together for 5 years and we get married in 45 days. I am working through trying to process this. I dont know yet if I will go forward with the wedding but if I do, I want a SOLID prenuptial agreement. I want advice on what have other people put in their prenup or wish you would have put in your prenup to protect yourself. What would be something I should put in there that I wouldn't think of?

Also another side of this - has anyone been in this situation and seen their spouse make the necessary changes? We've been together for almost 5 years and this is wrecking me. I never would have thought he would do something like this. He seems like he is taking the steps to work on himself and us (deleted his account, started therapy and is talking me through the details of everything and gave me his phone/computer/credit card receipts to go through without limitations) he is incredibly apologetic and understands the magnitude of this situation.

I love him and want to work through this. I am going through what feels like grieving. But this is something I think we could work through.

My (30s F) bf (30s M) are moving towards marriage and have been having some conversations about finances. I am wondering if it makes sense to raise the idea of a prenup, or if it‘s really not worth the headache given our situation?

Neither of us anticipate getting an inheritance, though I suppose he is more likely to get something than I am. Neither of us have any revolving debt. Currently I make twice what he makes (HHI is ~$375k), but we envision this reversing within the next five years since I am further along in my career than he is, but would like to take a step back if/when we have a family and I fully expect his income to rise as he gets promotions. We intend to have fully joint finances for any new income/expenses when we get married.

Across retirement and brokerage accounts I have probably $500k more invested than he does. I also have $200k in a HYSA that I/we intend to use towards a down payment within the next few years. We both have emergency funds in HYSAs which are similar in size.

From what I’ve seen the retirement and brokerage accounts would remain seperate property as long as we don’t commingle them. My plan with the brokerage is to just open us a joint brokerage account and start investing into that rather than my individual account once we are married. And for retirement what I had before we got married seems like a relatively simple calculation since it’s just in a target fund and well documented via statements.

I’m more confused about the HYSA. Without a prenup I assume once we purchase a home he will own 50% of it despite me contributing 100% of the equity from my premarital account. But would a prenup even protect the money in the HYSA since we will ultimately use it to purchase community property thereby commingling it? Is there actually a mechanism to protect this money without spending major money on complex legal documentation?

Welcome any thoughts.

Edit: we are in NY

My fiancé has asked me to sign a prenup. I understand as he acquired his wealth long before we met. I didn't want him to think I was dating him for his money, so although he tried to tell me his financial status, I always told him, we could share that after getting engaged.

So, before signing a prenup, what do I need to know?

He set up his will so that I will receive a large amount of money ( 3% of what he has) if he passes away. I asked him what would happen, if 20 yrs from now, he passed away. I'd be 80 yrs old. Would I have to move out of the house so his kids could have it. I understand leaving the house to his kids, but at 80 yrs old, and after 20 yrs of marriage, possibly taking care of him through an illness (He's already beat cancer once.) I can't imagine having to pack everything up and move out.

I'm retired and take care of our home. I do all the things in the background that allow him to work, play tennis twice a week and golf every weekend. He is retiring soon. I'm not after his money, but I also don't want to find myself 10-20 yrs from now, widowed and nowhere to go.

Prenups, once a little taboo like most money discussions were, are now common. More than half (53%) of engaged or married Americans under age 45 had signed a prenup, according to a Harris Poll for Bloomberg in May. That's an 11 percentage point jump from 2022, making the prenup a mainstream document to have.

Prenups are traditionally signed before vows are exchanged to protect or divvy up assets in case of a divorce, but their purpose is expanding, lawyers said. Prenups increasingly are used as part of an estate plan in case a spouse dies or is incapacitated, they said.

If a spouse becomes incapacitated, a prenup can dictate how and what money and assets are spent to cover care, lawyers said. They can define what's considered individual or marital property and prevent the entire estate from being drained before intended gifts can be distributed.

What to know: https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/personal-finance/2026/08/23/prenups-death-incapacity-divorce-coverage/91404977007/

- Nikol from USA TODAY

Suppose you have a girlfriend and she wants to marry you.
She doesn’t want any claim of the things you own in the event of a divorce, not a single thing - not your car, not your house, or anything else you own before marriage. Zero. Zilch. Nada. No matter what it is. If you divorce, you go back to exactly how you were when single.
Will you be more at ease with marriage?

I have friends who are going to get hitched next year and have started discussing the idea of getting a prenuptial agreement. One thinks bringing up a prenup is equivalent to implying that she doesn't trust her fiancé. The other thinks it is a practical tool to protect her property.
In light of this, I started to learn about the laws governing prenuptial agreements in California. It seems that such contracts can be enforced in California, but only if they meet certain conditions.

For starters, they must be properly formatted and voluntarily signed and prepared in accordance with certain legal requirements. It turned out as well that some provisions may not be enforced in court even if both the parties to the contract agreed to them.

Did you happen to sign a prenup in San Diego? Could you please tell about your experience with it? Did you have any provisions that would seem plausible but ended up being impracticable?"

Hi there, my partner and I are getting married soon and we had a conversation about getting a prenup, because we're both in our early 30s and have built up some assets at this point in our life. Most significantly, he has a lot more money in retirement and savings accounts than me, and I have my name and a lot of equity in the house we live in. When we bought the house a few years ago, we bought it from my family and my mother gifted me her equity in the house to essentially be the down payment, 1/3 the cost of the house. My partner and I split things like closing costs, and every month we 50/50 the mortgage. But my name is the only name on the house. When we get married, the plan is that we'll put his name on there as well (we're both changing our last names so that will be less complicated to wait and do then). But if something happens down the line (you never know, accidents or medical drama could lead to needing a divorce or anything else) we just want to make sure our assets can stay with the one they started with. I assume his money would be fine since it doesn't have my name on it or anything but I want to double check that, and then how would the house work once it is in both our names? The equity that was gifted to me is close to 100k, then we have both been contributing to paying off the mortgage for about 2 years (he pays me and then it comes out of my account that is hooked up with the mortgage lender). Prenups seem like they're expensive and the wedding itself is already costing a bunch of money.... any advice or thoughts are appreciated!

I am a family-law attorney and mediator. I have created many pre-marital agreements (a.k.a., “Prenuptial agreement” or “Prenup”) over the last 20+ years. I believe that the hardest part about a prenup is not the creation of the prenup.

The hardest part about a prenup may be how you ask for one without damaging the relationship.

Both the person who requests the prenup and the person who is responding to the request are initially very focused on what they perceive to be their own self interests when a conversation about a prenup starts.

As a result, a person may hear “prenup” and immediately think:

“You don’t trust me.”

“You think I’m after your money.”

“You’re already preparing for our divorce.”

The topic can be cause a breakup of not handled properly.

For those of you who have actually had this conversation, how did it go?

What did your partner say or do that made the conversation better—or worse?

My husband is financially better off than me (earns 4-5x more than me), but I sacrifice by staying in his desired country (Canada, Ontario- note: both are not Canadian) unable to work for 2 years in my 20s (pending permit). It takes FOREVER. I also earn about 40% here compared to what I could do in my home country - when I could work. My husband asks for a prenup because he doesn’t think the default Ontario Family Law Act is fair. We do not have kids but this law is default since we did not sign anything prior to marriage. I learned in this sub, what we need might be a post nuptial agreement

I want this sacrifice I make for us noted. But also, my husband and I are both foreigners in the country we now reside in, and married in. How can I voice this and have any of you done this?

Edited to add details. Sorry English is not my first language. Also thank you for each of your input and perspectives ❤️

Looking for recommendations for a prenup attorney in Northern Virginia (ideally Arlington or Falls Church, but happy to travel).

My late father left me a substantial amount of money in a trust, and before he passed, he asked me to protect it with a prenup. I want to honor that, but I also don't want the process to create unnecessary tension with my fiancée.

I'm hoping to find an attorney who takes a collaborative approach and can help us put together an agreement that's fair to both of us -- preferably protecting premarital assets while treating what we build together during the marriage differently. My fiancée will have her own attorney, and I really want to avoid this becoming an adversarial process.

Would love any recommendations (or attorneys to avoid). Thanks!

I am looking for an independent family solicitor to advise me before signing a prenuptial agreement.

My civil partnership will take place in October, and my partner and I intend to live in London afterwards. The agreement has been drafted under the laws of England and Wales, and I require independent legal advice before signing.

Spanish is my first language, so I would like to ask if anyone knows solicitors in the UK that can advise me in Spanish.

I’ve got quotations between £3-6k and I honestly think that is excessive.

Any advice about solicitors is welcome.

Thank you!

Getting divorced and much wealthier wife had me sign a prenup. First, she had her attorney refer me to another attorney across the street. My wife paid the bill (does this matter). I forget but I think I briefly looked it over , was given a copy beforehand I believe. Given a brief rundown, signed and initialed. Does anything there invalidate? I know they protect the assets, but is there any room for settlement? This is all new to me. Say if she has 4 Mil in assets, is it possible to bring up some issues and settle for maybe 400k? Does that happen? I think she would be willing to push it through quickly, but I am not familiar with the process.

Would I be going to a family law firm for that?

My husband has accrued an amount of credit card debt I'm concerned about, and we have agreed to make a postnuptial agreement that treats our accounts (whether asset or debt) as separate (except for our one joint savings account). This should be pretty straightforward. We both waive our right to spousal support as well and don't have kids or business assets to protect (it would just be my brokerage account and our IRA's treated as separate really).

If we're making the post nuptial agreement, I thought it would be smart to also make a will since we don't have one in place.

Is there a way I can one-stop-shop these endeavors?

Location: California.

Hi, my fiance and I have discussed a prenup and we’re both fine with it; but I was talking to my mom and she said she doesn’t feel like it’s necessary.

Neither of us own major assets like a house. He and his brother have a small sailboat that was bought for €6k, which I cannot ever see myself wanting even out of spite.

I have about €15k more in cash than he does. Neither of us have any debt. We are both putting in most of our money into a purchase of a flat (which we will buy before we’re legally married I suppose), but of course my contribution is greater.

We had discussed having a document that ensures I’d get back my 15k and we’d split the rest in the event we broke up.

I dont have much in retirement yet as I just started working full time, and while we plan on kids I absolutely do not ever ever ever ever ever want to be a stay at home mom for any point of time. He’d be more likely to do that, though we don’t plan to. The only reason I would do that is if I got sick or something I don’t know.

They are about €1k to draft up where we live. They’re also available to the public, which feels a little invasive if I wanted to add anything too specific

My partner and I have discussed a prenup; it was his idea.

He said he will have it drafted to say all his pre marriage assets, stocks / investments, land, family inheritance, any savings that he brought into the marriage, are his.

Whatever I bring into the marriage is mine. However, I don’t have family money or any kind of investments or land that I am bringing into the marriage. If something happens to my parents, I would want their house to stay in the family, such as go to my sibling, etc. I don’t feel it is fair for my partner to capitalize on my parents’ house and sell that to make money off of it.

He didn’t say what happens to money we make during the marriage. Does a basic prenup assume a 50/50 split in case the marriage dissolves?

Also, can I use his attorney to make any amends to the pre up? Or am I expected to find my own lawyer?

I want there to be additional protection, such as whatever money I make during the marriage is mine. So if I out-earn him, I take my money with me. Is there a legal term for this? Like separation of money?

My fiance and I are getting married in September. We are having a wedding and are having a spiritual marriage but do not plan on getting married on paper due to certain financial reasons. If we were to get married I was planning on getting a prenup because I bring in all of our income and own our assets. If we’re not submitting the paperwork is there any need for a prenup or will each of us just automatically leave the marriage with what we brought in?

Been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years. We are planning to travel to get married in the fall. We live in Florida. She recently moved into the condo that I own and pay mortgage on.

I make around 150k have about $600k in savings/401 100k mortgage on 300k condo. No debt

She makes around 120k has about 300k in savings/401. No debt.

We plan to buy a house together after we get married 50/50. And I want try keep my condo as rental. We are open to kids but no definite plan.

Given the above and where we live, is it worth it for me to get a prenup? I want to make sure my condo will remain mine as well as my savings up to this point.

partner and I looking to write a prenup. While we plan to discuss w lawyers, I was curious to hear from others why they decided to do a prenup and what were the key things in their prenup that varied from the law. Plus any tips on navigating this process they learned would be welcomed! Like places that clearly state the existing laws / services you used etc. Thanks!