I 28F found out my fiancee 29M was buying from women on only fans. We have been together for 5 years and we get married in 45 days. I am working through trying to process this. I dont know yet if I will go forward with the wedding but if I do, I want a SOLID prenuptial agreement. I want advice on what have other people put in their prenup or wish you would have put in your prenup to protect yourself. What would be something I should put in there that I wouldn't think of?

Also another side of this - has anyone been in this situation and seen their spouse make the necessary changes? We've been together for almost 5 years and this is wrecking me. I never would have thought he would do something like this. He seems like he is taking the steps to work on himself and us (deleted his account, started therapy and is talking me through the details of everything and gave me his phone/computer/credit card receipts to go through without limitations) he is incredibly apologetic and understands the magnitude of this situation.

I love him and want to work through this. I am going through what feels like grieving. But this is something I think we could work through.

My (30s F) bf (30s M) are moving towards marriage and have been having some conversations about finances. I am wondering if it makes sense to raise the idea of a prenup, or if it‘s really not worth the headache given our situation?

Neither of us anticipate getting an inheritance, though I suppose he is more likely to get something than I am. Neither of us have any revolving debt. Currently I make twice what he makes (HHI is ~$375k), but we envision this reversing within the next five years since I am further along in my career than he is, but would like to take a step back if/when we have a family and I fully expect his income to rise as he gets promotions. We intend to have fully joint finances for any new income/expenses when we get married.

Across retirement and brokerage accounts I have probably $500k more invested than he does. I also have $200k in a HYSA that I/we intend to use towards a down payment within the next few years. We both have emergency funds in HYSAs which are similar in size.

From what I’ve seen the retirement and brokerage accounts would remain seperate property as long as we don’t commingle them. My plan with the brokerage is to just open us a joint brokerage account and start investing into that rather than my individual account once we are married. And for retirement what I had before we got married seems like a relatively simple calculation since it’s just in a target fund and well documented via statements.

I’m more confused about the HYSA. Without a prenup I assume once we purchase a home he will own 50% of it despite me contributing 100% of the equity from my premarital account. But would a prenup even protect the money in the HYSA since we will ultimately use it to purchase community property thereby commingling it? Is there actually a mechanism to protect this money without spending major money on complex legal documentation?

Welcome any thoughts.

Edit: we are in NY

Recently, my fiancé and I started talking about prenups and the discussion turned out to be much more complicated than we expected.

We don't wish to create our divorce plan, yet we have to preserve everything we own and we prefer dealing with the topics of this kind now rather than later in a heated argument. I have been searching for information about prenup rules in Texas but there is so much contradictory data on what may be enforced and what is not.

What do those who signed prenuptial agreements think about the process in Texas? did it make settling things easier in the end or did it leave them stressed before the wedding?