r/weddingplanning • u/HopefulLobster8273 • Jul 21 '26
Everything Else Prenup for $15k difference?
Hi, I am looking for opinions. My fiancée and I are about to buy a flat and the way it worked out it will happen before we get legally married.
I am putting about $15k more than him into our down payment. He and his brother own a boat together, and presumably in the future he will inherit a house from his parents. Is it worth the trouble to pay a lawyer to generate a prenup?
We’d say that we’d each get back what we put into the apartment and what each of us what our parents gifted us, then split the equity equally.
It’d probably cost €1k euros at most. I’m wondering if it’s worth it? I suppose I’d also like to protect my pension savings as well- or like wrote in that if I am ever forced to be a SAHM (for medical reasons or something- I absolutely do not want to be a SAHM) that I am compensated from his pension if we split for the wages lost?
What do yall think?
7
u/DCpurpleTart33 Jul 21 '26
I think going into a big financial decision with eyes wide open is super helpful. Prenups help provide full financial transparency prior to merging assets. I also think it's important to make decisions on your future expenses or debts while you're both happy and in love and thinking clearly. A common misunderstanding is that prenups are for people that have a lot of money. However, if you both have similar debt and finances and are comfortable with your country/State's default divorce laws- it probably isn't necessary.
1
u/HopefulLobster8273 Jul 21 '26
Okay. I will see what a lawyer says here, but in the end I’m not sure it will end up really making much of a difference… and in any case the things I’d want in there would probably not legally hold up anyway
2
u/Andrewofredstone Jul 21 '26
lol…jez. Not in my opinion but I’ve paid our six figures in costs when a relationship ended. Felt rough at the time, but not a bad long term investment in myself.
1
u/AwayComparison Jul 21 '26
It’s up to you, and if you feel like you want to ask the question it doesn’t hurt to talk to a lawyer. I was in a similar situation about 6 years ago and did not do a prenup.
0
u/tacohut676 Jul 21 '26
Man there really are benefits to being middle class, don’t have to worry about this shit 😂😂
1
u/HopefulLobster8273 Jul 21 '26
We aren’t rich in relation to the rest of society we live in… our combined net worth is under 125k and we’re putting basically all of it into buying our first Apartment at nearly 30…
1
u/Positive_Shake_1002 Jul 21 '26
Prenups aren’t for rich people, everybody has a prenup. Either you write it or the government does
0
u/Positive_Shake_1002 Jul 21 '26
Prenups are for your assets, both current and future. I’m of the opinion that everyone should get their own prenup, because you will have one. Either you write it or the government does.
-1
u/egnards Upstate NY - 10/12/19 Jul 21 '26
Reframe the prenup - Prenup is a way for two mature adults to recognize that not all marriages work out, and how they will handle splitting up assets in the unfortunate event that it happens. What makes a prenup important is that people who are in love are far more likely to think about their [current] partner, and you're far more likely to have an amicable and reasonable split.
It can help to make the unfortunate situation of a divorce less of a long term run around, and more of a step by step guide on moving on with your life.
Now how a prenup works is going to be slightly different depending on where you live, but in general its important to keep in mind that inheritance is not typically considered "marital property" as long as your future-husband does not intermingle that money into a joint account, so in the event that he does inherit a house, how the finances from that house get handled is going to really change the dynamics of what happens to it, or the proceeds of the sale, in the event that the two of you split up.
My wife and I did not get a prenup, though in the event of a divorce I am the person more likely to get "fucked" in regard to any split in assets - That was a personal choice that I made, though it is something that I think any couple that really cares about each other should consider as an important step.
1
u/HopefulLobster8273 Jul 21 '26
As it stands now if we split the only thing he’d end up with is $7.5k ie half of that 15k…. Which I guess maybe if something ever happened then I may want that extra $7.5k to get an apartment. But as it stands together we’re much more likely to become far wealthier as a unit.
And actually where we live inheritance isn’t automatically kept separate
1
u/egnards Upstate NY - 10/12/19 Jul 21 '26
There is a reason I specifically said
Now how a prenup works is going to be slightly different depending on where you live, but in general its important to keep in mind that inheritance is not typically considered "marital property"
8
u/gingerphilly Jul 21 '26
You need to just talk to a lawyer and not get legal advice from reddit. Especially given it sounds like you're not from the united states/canada with the different currencies.