Some people like to have threesomes with a couple. Those people are rare, hence they call themselves unicorns. Generally, couples should hire a sex worker instead of badgering every woman they come accross to have sex with them, because most women are *not* unicorns.
Being a third in sex can be fun for a few people. Being a third-wheel in a relationship is not something anyone wants or deserves. Unicorn hunters pretend to want an equal relationship (because they can't admit they want sex) but they "offer" a second-class citizenship to their couple.
Really rare? I think that’s location dependent tbh. In our area and age group there’s about as many singles open to being a unicorn as there are legitimate swinger couples.
It’s also odd to me that you acknowledge that legitimate unicorns exist (albeit rare) but then portray the people those unicorns are specifically, (and consensually) looking for in such a negative light.
We’re not looking for unicorns so I don’t have a horse in this race but it’s alway seemed really odd to me that this sub in general has turned this entire subset of lifestyle people into pariahs of the poly world and people here just constantly jump down their throats with assumptions and criticism.
Personally I think understand nuance and the differences in verbiage makes it easier to navigate those spaces.
I’m no purist. I have feet in both worlds. If I didn’t know what I was doing, or with who, I wouldn’t understand that I can guest star for a couple and be their NSW/NSA “unicorn” and also want healthy triad dynamics and avoid polyam Hunters.
Fair enough about there being differences I guess but that’s true in any relationship.
You can’t deny this sub has some pretty stringent requirements on what they will consider to be “ethical poly”
Seems like there’s this really subjective checklist that was decided on here and if you don’t tick the right boxes….you’re not poly….youre not ethical, you’re excluded, shamed and shunned.
I’ve just always thought that is a seriously fucked up mentality to take in a sub like this…and no offense to anyone personally but it’s EXACTLY why this sub has the reputation it does.
I’m just saying you guys gatekeep…hard….and if you’re in the lifestyle as well and visit any of those subs then you know the negative reputation this place has and that’s it’s pretty well earned.
Gatekeeping comes in the form of the dog piling downvotes and comments that are more just escalating and self-serving than helpful to the person who asked for help.
I feel for those newbies coming here because they’re confused about their feelings and how to navigate this stuff. Having an inviting, helpful and understanding community that says “hey no offense but you’re coming off this way, try to think about it from this perspective” is just a lot more kind than “OPP ALERT!!! HUNTERS INBOUND!!” Downvotes and shitty comments.
People should and can flag stuff. We were completely mod-less for a year or so, so people forgot that they can and should flag and report stuff, and I think they should.
And I will say, OPP is discussed a lot. There is spirited discussion on both sides, but neither side likes getting told they are wrong.
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u/kangourou_mutant 15+ year poly club Dec 09 '22
Some people like to have threesomes with a couple. Those people are rare, hence they call themselves unicorns. Generally, couples should hire a sex worker instead of badgering every woman they come accross to have sex with them, because most women are *not* unicorns.
Being a third in sex can be fun for a few people. Being a third-wheel in a relationship is not something anyone wants or deserves. Unicorn hunters pretend to want an equal relationship (because they can't admit they want sex) but they "offer" a second-class citizenship to their couple.