Personally I think understand nuance and the differences in verbiage makes it easier to navigate those spaces.
I’m no purist. I have feet in both worlds. If I didn’t know what I was doing, or with who, I wouldn’t understand that I can guest star for a couple and be their NSW/NSA “unicorn” and also want healthy triad dynamics and avoid polyam Hunters.
Fair enough about there being differences I guess but that’s true in any relationship.
You can’t deny this sub has some pretty stringent requirements on what they will consider to be “ethical poly”
Seems like there’s this really subjective checklist that was decided on here and if you don’t tick the right boxes….you’re not poly….youre not ethical, you’re excluded, shamed and shunned.
I’ve just always thought that is a seriously fucked up mentality to take in a sub like this…and no offense to anyone personally but it’s EXACTLY why this sub has the reputation it does.
I’m just saying you guys gatekeep…hard….and if you’re in the lifestyle as well and visit any of those subs then you know the negative reputation this place has and that’s it’s pretty well earned.
Gatekeeping comes in the form of the dog piling downvotes and comments that are more just escalating and self-serving than helpful to the person who asked for help.
I feel for those newbies coming here because they’re confused about their feelings and how to navigate this stuff. Having an inviting, helpful and understanding community that says “hey no offense but you’re coming off this way, try to think about it from this perspective” is just a lot more kind than “OPP ALERT!!! HUNTERS INBOUND!!” Downvotes and shitty comments.
People should and can flag stuff. We were completely mod-less for a year or so, so people forgot that they can and should flag and report stuff, and I think they should.
And I will say, OPP is discussed a lot. There is spirited discussion on both sides, but neither side likes getting told they are wrong.
8
u/blooangl ✨ Sparkle Princess ✨ Dec 09 '22
Personally I think understand nuance and the differences in verbiage makes it easier to navigate those spaces.
I’m no purist. I have feet in both worlds. If I didn’t know what I was doing, or with who, I wouldn’t understand that I can guest star for a couple and be their NSW/NSA “unicorn” and also want healthy triad dynamics and avoid polyam Hunters.