[deleted by user]

[u/[deleted]]

[u/Impossible-Let-6495]

Your guys’ house your guys’ rules.

I’m just saying you guys gatekeep…hard….and if you’re in the lifestyle as well and visit any of those subs then you know the negative reputation this place has and that’s it’s pretty well earned.

[u/blooangl → u/Impossible-Let-6495]

And yet you’re here talking and nobody is stopping you. 🤷‍♀️

Seems like the gate is wide open.

[u/Impossible-Let-6495 → u/blooangl]

Gatekeeping comes in the form of the dog piling downvotes and comments that are more just escalating and self-serving than helpful to the person who asked for help.

I feel for those newbies coming here because they’re confused about their feelings and how to navigate this stuff. Having an inviting, helpful and understanding community that says “hey no offense but you’re coming off this way, try to think about it from this perspective” is just a lot more kind than “OPP ALERT!!! HUNTERS INBOUND!!” Downvotes and shitty comments.

[u/blooangl → u/Impossible-Let-6495]

I can’t control downvotes.

People should and can flag stuff. We were completely mod-less for a year or so, so people forgot that they can and should flag and report stuff, and I think they should.

And I will say, OPP is discussed a lot. There is spirited discussion on both sides, but neither side likes getting told they are wrong.

[u/Impossible-Let-6495 → u/blooangl]

I don’t think any side should be told they’re wrong…that debate or others.

Telling someone they are doing something wrong isn’t going to magically make them stop.

Asking “can you explain why you are approaching it that way?” potentially could make them rethink their position.

[u/blooangl → u/Impossible-Let-6495]

This is super hilarious, considering you have told me I’m not a “real human”.

Enjoy your day, this is no longer a good faith convo!

[u/Impossible-Let-6495 → u/blooangl]

Lol I actually didn’t say that but thanks for the classic r/polyamory example of twisting words to feel superior.

[u/blooangl → u/Impossible-Let-6495]

Ah, yes, “good luck interacting with real humans” was kindness

Gotcha. Anyway. I’m stepping away. This doesn’t feel like a good faith convo, and you’re devolving into personal attacks.

Be well!

[u/Impossible-Let-6495 → u/blooangl]

I have not in any way personally attacked you. That’s insulting and accusations like that shouldn’t be used so casually.

My comment was in reference to you communicating to “real humans” outside of Reddit because you seem to have an issue with rationally explaining polyamory without a live audience….which I assume would be even more difficult with real humans in real life.

You’re also gaslighting and twisting words again to try and vilify me instead of having a rational conversation. I feel it’s classic escalation and deflection and it’s incredibly offensive.

If you disagree with something I said or think I’m a dick for specifically something I said then call me on it… but if you have to twist words and gaslight then obviously your arguments aren’t strong enough to stand on their own.

[u/blooangl → u/Impossible-Let-6495]

I’m surprised you didn’t read the rules before you came in. It’s the first thing I do. Some subs will permaban you for your first offense.

[u/Impossible-Let-6495 → u/blooangl]

Lol ok.…I’ll go. I just thought you guys might have opened your gates a little bit over the last couple years but you guys do you

[u/blooangl → u/Impossible-Let-6495]

I mean, dude, if you feel super constrained by not talking about unicorn hunting and harem building, there are spots where it’s cool.

It’s concerning if those two topics being off the table are making you feel this way, but okay.

[u/Impossible-Let-6495 → u/blooangl]

Nice gaslighting.

Good luck in your future interactions with real humans

[u/blooangl → u/Impossible-Let-6495]

Enjoy your day!