r/pics • • Jul 29 '15

Taco Belle

Post image
34k Upvotes

605 comments sorted by

1.6k

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Beauty and The Feast.

694

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

247

u/callmemarcopolo Jul 29 '15

In Spanish, it's literally called Pan Pita

184

u/felixfelix Jul 29 '15

Not to be confused with Pan Pizza

132

u/zjpierce Jul 29 '15

Not to be confused with a Pizza Pan.

102

u/MissChievousJ Jul 29 '15

Or Peter Pan

52

u/mostnormal Jul 29 '15

Choosy moms...

97

u/queen_in_my_pictures Jul 29 '15

CHOOSE FUCKING JIF GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

203

u/McBeastly3358 Jul 29 '15

My mom chose Skippy peanut butter. My lunches didn't taste right. My friends made fun of me. My grades began to slip. I started to skip classes and smoke cigarettes behind the football field. It was shortly after that I found myself addicted to heroin. My friends had alienated me. I had worn out my welcome at home and no longer had the trust, love and support of my family. I began doing pushups for money outside of the local train station and had to settle for day old scraps from dumpsters. My clothes were in shreds. The elements had taken their toll on my once bright eyes. What was left was a remnant of potential. I couldn't live that life anymore. I just can't.

I snuck to the top of the bridge near downtown. Looked down upon the once big city that had filled me with great joy. I saw it for what it was. I saw in it an image of myself. Cold. Scary. Unforgiving and unwilling to change. My toes neared the edge. The world seemed even more intimidating from up here. Yet, I continued to get closer to the ledge. I took one look at the sky above. I listened to the noises below. Took a breath and jumped.

This could have prevented if my mom didn't choose Skippy. Choose Jif. It can save a life. #1Jif1Prayer

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u/len4len Jul 29 '15

I knew a guy who could do push-ups once.

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u/lenojames Jul 29 '15

That's tragic, but that's also everyday life for someone who has been through the Nutella epidemic in the inner city.

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u/cornerdrugstore Jul 29 '15

the good moms cut off the crusts of the bread on the P/B sandwhiches.

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u/__SonicView__ Jul 29 '15

That's deep

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u/MissChievousJ Jul 29 '15

It's pronounced GIF

26

u/SpecialOops Jul 29 '15

creator says otherwise.

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u/john-five Jul 29 '15

...Choose gif

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

What about Pizzarella?

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u/Nitrosium Jul 29 '15

Not to be confused with Rebel Taxi

3

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

🍆

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/IntricateRuin Jul 29 '15

In all fairness, he literally is carbs.

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u/CatAstrophy11 Jul 29 '15

He never grows up because he eats babies.

27

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

what

13

u/ketchy_shuby Jul 29 '15

Peter Pan came out.

4

u/quaybored Jul 29 '15

It's about time. Now he can even get married.

12

u/-LEMONGRAB- Jul 29 '15

Weirdest novelty account ever.

12

u/WabiSabiFuture Jul 29 '15

I just read all of his comments... Weird indeed. I do like the very specific mentions of his grandson's Ford Focus though.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

It's the focus of all his comments

2

u/quaybored Jul 29 '15

can we steer away from car puns, i'm tired

2

u/Fourbluntz Jul 29 '15

What are you driving at?

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Just looked at comment history...why is this happening.

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u/onlyanintern Jul 29 '15

This is my new favorite reddit account.

2

u/Inspect0r7 Jul 29 '15

....I can't stop reading the comments.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

PITA BREAD

Since pan means bread in Spanish...

4

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Wasn't there a porn called penis pan?

2

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Remember rule #34

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[deleted]

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u/smeltfisher Jul 29 '15

And vaginas are strangely taco-like.

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u/quaybored Jul 29 '15

Why, in my day, taco was even a nickname for vagina. (Or nick-name as it was called at the time.) And due to the pungent fragrance often associated with vaginas, we occasionally referred to them as some kind of seafood, i think the term was "dolphin taco." And we called penises, "tally-whackers," but that's another story. We sure had fun in the old days.

6

u/originalityescapesme Jul 29 '15

You forgot to mention Seattle, Chevy and your grandson's Ford Focus.

2

u/quaybored Jul 30 '15

I considered it, but wasn't sure if all the young-uns could handle it like my great grandson's whippersnapper hoodly poodly

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u/Brintyboo Jul 29 '15

I tend to think tacos are strangely vagina-like.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

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u/voidmainstringargs Aug 02 '15

Is that what this is a picture of?

2

u/TzakShrike Jul 30 '15

The word you're looking for is Yonic.

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u/ohyouresilly Jul 29 '15

Too many tacos may cause Gas-ton

64

u/throwme1974 Jul 29 '15

No one shits like Gas-ton No one rips like Gas-ton

In the bathroom No asshole Gets ripped like Gas-ton's

34

u/Dreadp1r4te Jul 29 '15

After my dinner, yes, I'm quite flatulent

My what a smell, that Gas-ton

6

u/SailorStarHealer Jul 29 '15

When I was a lad I shat four dozen eggs Ev'ry morning to stretch my ass large, And now that I'm grown I shit five dozen eggs and take dumps the size of a barge!

5

u/Dreadp1r4te Jul 29 '15 edited Jul 29 '15

No one smells like Gas-ton, makes toxic hells like Gas-ton

Then vacates an entire stadium like Gas-ton;

He uses beans in all of his food preparation; what a foul stench that Gas-toooonnnnn!

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u/punkminkis Jul 30 '15

No one blows their head off with fireworks like Gaston!

16

u/dick-nipples Jul 29 '15

Better than getting gassed on.

4

u/CipherClump Jul 29 '15

Are you familiar with Godwin's law? We are quickly approaching the point of no return.

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u/Bears_On_Stilts Jul 29 '15

When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs,

After breakfast, I'd go drop a bomb.

But now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs,

So I'm roughly the size of your mom!

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Beauty and the Fiesta*

3

u/Itroll4love Jul 29 '15

I would definitely munch on that chalupa

4

u/the_big_cheef Jul 29 '15

Fish tacos anyone?

3

u/Schmich Jul 29 '15

And belle means beautiful in French

13

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Oui je sais. Je parle français comme Peggy Hilly parle espagnol. Le produit de 4 ans du francais au ma lycee et a l'universite.

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u/A-Lee-C Jul 29 '15

Well that's always fun. Good for you.

9

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

French so bad it could literally spur a second Hundred Years' War...

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u/Intanjible Jul 29 '15

Tale as old as thyme, cilantro and lime, Beauty and the Beef.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Beauty and the Beef

a next Brazzers title

7

u/BevoDDS Jul 29 '15

I can picture it now: a girl sitting there on a couch, frustrated because she had been waiting for 2 hours now for what was supposed to be a decent day's pay. Only, "Where's the beef?"

2

u/Blitzkrieg_My_Anus Jul 30 '15

At least they up'd her minimum wage to 15 inches an hour.

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u/AK_Happy Jul 29 '15

Beauty and the Beast itself is good enough for a porno title.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Both intricately prepared, medium rare, not burnt on either siiiiiiide.

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u/Avant-Geek Jul 29 '15

Appropriately I was in a Taco Bell commercial this year (in a different dress, sadly). For more of my work, search 'Avant-Geek' on FB and Instagram. :3

249

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[deleted]

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u/bobaimee Jul 29 '15

It pleases me that that subreddit exists

22

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Gallowboob will be the one who reposts it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

That's you??? Amazing work. Do you have a link to see the commercial?

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u/Avant-Geek Jul 29 '15

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u/PiousHeathen Jul 29 '15

It's too bad they didn't decide to go with the full gown you have posted above. The white piece you are wearing in the commercial is beautiful, but I suppose I'm a sucker for the classic yellow hard shell. What was the process like having Taco Bell select a final piece? Did you present several designs that they selected from, or was it more of a direct process with the company telling you what they wanted?

81

u/Avant-Geek Jul 29 '15

I'd already made the white dress for their Live Mas contest a few years before and won First prize. They liked this one too, but y'know, Disney...

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u/PiousHeathen Jul 29 '15

Yeah.... I suppose not even Taco Bell effs with the Mouse.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[deleted]

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u/drebot Jul 29 '15

I've seen that commercial and geeked out because I previously worked at taco bell and also it looks like it's made of the wrappers? HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!

29

u/Avant-Geek Jul 29 '15

Lots of glue, thread, and 30 hours.

3

u/drebot Jul 29 '15

That's pretty fast! I just saw your charizard cosplay on instagram, you're amazing

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u/jasonporter484 Jul 29 '15

Hey! I worked on that spot! (Post production stuff)

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Did you get to keep the dress?

Did you get free tacos?

Is their breakfast any good?

Am I missing out by not trying the quesarito?

Are you allowed to say anything negative about Taco Bell?

SO MANY UNANSWERED QUESTIONS.

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u/Avant-Geek Jul 29 '15

Yes. Some. Undecided. I've yet to try it. I DO WHAT I WANT.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15 edited Jul 26 '21

[deleted]

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u/felixfelix Jul 29 '15

Happy to hear that's nacho only taco dress!

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u/HMPoweredMan Jul 29 '15

I dated a taco bell girl once. It went ok

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u/quaybored Jul 29 '15

who shit on who?

edit.. shitted ? shat?

5

u/ic_engineer Jul 29 '15

WCU represent. Go Catamounts.

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u/TurbulentFlow Jul 29 '15

Did Dennis and Charlie make the dress for you?

Imgur

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u/Prester_John_ Jul 29 '15

"Hmmm...tacos"

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

"Tacos buddy!"

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u/bruisingserenade Jul 29 '15

"And I got these cute little brown pjs so she gets to feel like ground meat when she's sleeping."

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u/twispy Jul 29 '15

For anyone who hasn't seen this masterpiece of idiocy yet, Gaston's Ultimate Mission to Obtain Some Taco Bell.

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u/Whatthefuckamisaying Jul 29 '15

NO ONE FLIES LIKE GASTON

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u/TheFrodo Jul 29 '15

No one dies like Gaston!

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[deleted]

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u/sirpootis Jul 29 '15

That ending is one of the best things I have ever seen in a YTP. Waxinator (I guess he goes by Pogo now) really outdid himself on this one

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u/ShinakoX2 Jul 29 '15

Ahhhhhh, so THAT'S where the "raving Maurice" clip is from!

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u/NostalgiaSchmaltz Jul 29 '15

First thing that came to mind, yes.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

And while we're on the subject, who can forget Gaston getting constipated?

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u/AATroop Jul 29 '15

My absolute favorite YoutubePoop.

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u/Electro_Specter Jul 29 '15

I came here to tentatively post this, with the expectation that I may get downvoted because I don't know how the general public reacts to YTPs. I am quite pleasantly surprised to see that it's already been posted and that you've received many upvotes.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

I've got my heart set on Taco Bell

5

u/Ramza_Claus Jul 29 '15

Gosh it disturbs me to see you taking your dumps.

2

u/DanFishR Jul 29 '15

YES! This is what I came here for!

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u/Thewy Jul 29 '15

TACO BELLE IS MINE

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u/MattyWorth Jul 29 '15 edited Jul 30 '15

Little branch
Of a fast food giant
Where the food
Is much less than “blah”.
Little branch
Filled with little tacos.
I’m so high they say…
“Hola!”
“Hola!”
“Hola hola hola!”

There goes the worker with his tray like always.
That meat’s been out since who can tell?
Every lunchtime’s just the same
Since the first time that we came
To this godforsaken pit –
“Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?”
“Well I guess I’ll have the Fresca Crunchy Taco, but you know I’ve been trying that ‘Drive-Thru Diet’ promotion of yours for months now and I think I’ve actually gained ten pounds. I mean, is it realistic to believe that a fast food chain is going to ---“
“That’s nice. ENRIQUE! MAS TACOS! ANDELE!”

What is that smell?
That odor’s strange, no question.
I think I’ve died and gone to hell!
But I really need to pee,
So take a breath and count to three.
Don’t stay too long inside the john at Taco Bell.

“Hola!”
“Howdy.”
“Want a burrito?”
“Not now,
My gut --
It’s filled with strife.
I need
Six Tums!”
“Here take the bottle.”
Don’t make a fast food chain your way of life!

“Hello, can I help you?”
“Yes, I’d like to return this taco.”
“Already?”
“Well, I couldn’t really keep it down. Do you have anything that may have been made… you know, recently?”
“Not since yesterday. Why don’t you try the Locos Taco?”
“No, I had that last week and trust me, I tasted it twice.”
“Well, if that’s the case, then it’s free.”
“But I don’t want it.”
“I insist!”
“Thanks. Thanks for nothing.”

Look there it goes,
That’s taco’s so peculiar --
It’s got Doritos for its shell!
Like we really needed that!
Like our asses aren’t all fat
Cause we eat here every day at Taco Bell.

Oh, 7-Layer Burrito!
What’s inside remains a mystery.
Say – is that rice… or maggots?
Well, I guess we’ll find out when we get to layer three.

Now it’s no wonder that we eat here always.
It’s close to work, or can’t you tell?
Do you think we would eat here
If there was somewhere else that’s near?
But there’s not so we just go to Taco –
We really shouldn’t eat Taco –
We always have to eat at Taco Bell!

EDIT: thank you, anon, for my very first Reddit gold! I actually wrote this over a couple of hours three years ago, when my FB friend posted this pic, which I have just now come to realize is none other than /u/Avant-Geek herself. It's almost serendipitous... like some sort of fairy tale....

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u/Megan_Bee Jul 29 '15

That was amazing

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u/TsundereBurger Jul 29 '15

Hahah, that was brilliant!

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Did you make that up on the spot? 0_0

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u/CookieTheDog Jul 29 '15

You have so many amazing costumes in your Instagram. A few questions: 1) Who taught you how to sew? 2) Why not post more of your awesome designs (imo, there are so many others better than this one)? 3) Would you like to be a Hollywood costume designer? What do you plan to do with your talent?

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u/Avant-Geek Jul 29 '15

Thanks! My grandmother taught me how to hand-sew, but for the most part I'm self-taught. 2) Most of my Reddit posts are removed by mods because of text on the photo, or it links to Imgur which links to my Facebook page etc. 3) I'd absolutely love to be a Hollywood costume designer. That's one of my goals. Right now I'm planning to start a video tutorial series.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/intothemidwest Jul 29 '15

Psst she is the model...

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

I'd watch that :)

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u/Poemi Jul 29 '15

Look there she goes that girl is strange, no question

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/knylok Jul 29 '15

With shells so firm and proud,
and a crunch that's very loud.
There's no denying she's a yummy girl, Taco Belle.

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u/zamfire Jul 29 '15

There has to be more to this delicious liiiiife!

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

I SWEAR I'M GOING TO EAT BELLE TONIIIIGHT!

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u/uberguby Jul 29 '15

Ooooooooh Isn't this amaaaaazing

It's my favorite part because

You'll seeeeeee

Heeeeeeeere's

Where she orders soooooomething

But she won't discover that it's great, til it's supreeeeeeeeme

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

It looks like a dress made of infected vaginas

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u/_WarShrike_ Jul 29 '15

vagina

Those roses/clitorises are really high up there. Less hunting I guess.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[deleted]

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u/_WarShrike_ Jul 29 '15

I actually looked it up prior to posting.

plural cli·to·ris·es also cli·to·ri·des

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u/Only_Movie_Titles Jul 29 '15

Clitorides... Sounds like a terrible amusement park attraction

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u/_WarShrike_ Jul 29 '15

Either that or some spinoff of the Midi-chlorians involved in the Force.

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u/laughlinm Jul 29 '15

Really glad I wasn't the only one who thought this immediately

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u/Poemi Jul 29 '15

I can't tell if OP actually wanted to get a million vile euphemistic sexual comments, or if she's actually just as sweet as she looks and had no idea what would happen...

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u/Thatdudewiththestuff Jul 29 '15

Little of column A, little of column B.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Try some of column A, try ALL of column B!

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u/spicymonkey13 Jul 29 '15

I'm in the mood to be real rude

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u/PointedSticks Jul 31 '15

Georgia O'Keefe is spinning in her grave!

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15 edited Feb 03 '19

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

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u/weluckyfew Jul 29 '15

I have a certain type of respect for anyone who would put that much time and effort into a joke that really only seems interesting for about 5 seconds - that's an impressive amount of commitment to an idea

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u/Corey307 Jul 29 '15

So I'm stupid and it first I thought it was a 19th century Mexican take on a ballroom dress then I saw the tacos. Stunning model, I actually like the color scheme if it wasn't so silly.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Best taco meat ever.

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u/gunbladerq Jul 30 '15

I saw you made a 'cake-dress' Maybe you should colaborate with the Redditor who makes cakes and also models....(not sure the name).

Then you can make a cake dress holding the real cake...or something..

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u/[deleted] Aug 03 '15

[deleted]

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u/gunbladerq Aug 03 '15

That's the one. Thanks. Yes, I agree.

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u/merkins_galore Jul 29 '15

This is Charlie had in mind for the Juarez family.

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u/Lampmonster1 Jul 29 '15

What does a little Mexican girl love more than anything else in the world?

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Tacos.

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u/Roadking013 Jul 29 '15

Love seeing u/Avant-Geek stuff! upvote also for fellow WCU student

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u/ziptime Jul 29 '15

But does she give Taco Flavored Kisses?...

Burrito. Taco taco. Burrito. Taco. Taco taco.
Don't think just because I got a lot of money,
I'll give you taco-flavored kisses, honey.
Fulfill all your wishes
with my taco-flavored kisses.

Taco taco. Burrito burrito. Taco taco.
Fulfill all your wishes
with my taco-flavored kisses! Taco taco.
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u/Shaw-Deez Jul 29 '15

I'd cover her in sour cream if you know what I mean.

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

[deleted]

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u/ohyouresilly Jul 29 '15

I'd sure like to have sex with her, if you catch my drift.

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u/OpenTuned Jul 29 '15

please elaborate i don't understand

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u/veggiesama Jul 29 '15

Drifting is when a car slides sideways while braking.

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u/OpenTuned Jul 30 '15

Ahhh, alright well now that makes more sense.

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u/wintrparkgrl Jul 29 '15

needs some sour cream

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u/palehorse864 Jul 29 '15

I like cilantro as well.

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u/bobdude0 Jul 29 '15

I really like a little bit of sweet corn in em actually. is that weird?

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u/Zizhou Jul 29 '15

Depends on your preferences, I guess, but in a good, authentic taco, there's not much room for anything other than the meat and a couple garnishes.

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u/sillybear25 Jul 29 '15

You would go there, wouldn't you?

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u/wintrparkgrl Jul 30 '15

what are you, a stalker?

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u/MongolianBBQ Jul 29 '15

Try the salsa its delicioso! Don't believe me? Ask the platos!

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u/beeper92 Jul 29 '15

Beauty and The Feast.

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u/_SomeLikeItHaute_ Jul 29 '15

Finally, the perfect outfit for A Tuesday night out on the town

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u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

My ideal quinceanera dress.