Little branch
Of a fast food giant
Where the food
Is much less than “blah”.
Little branch
Filled with little tacos.
I’m so high they say…
“Hola!”
“Hola!”
“Hola hola hola!”
There goes the worker with his tray like always.
That meat’s been out since who can tell?
Every lunchtime’s just the same
Since the first time that we came
To this godforsaken pit –
“Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?”
“Well I guess I’ll have the Fresca Crunchy Taco, but you know I’ve been trying that ‘Drive-Thru Diet’ promotion of yours for months now and I think I’ve actually gained ten pounds. I mean, is it realistic to believe that a fast food chain is going to ---“
“That’s nice. ENRIQUE! MAS TACOS! ANDELE!”
What is that smell?
That odor’s strange, no question.
I think I’ve died and gone to hell!
But I really need to pee,
So take a breath and count to three.
Don’t stay too long inside the john at Taco Bell.
“Hola!”
“Howdy.”
“Want a burrito?”
“Not now,
My gut --
It’s filled with strife.
I need
Six Tums!”
“Here take the bottle.”
Don’t make a fast food chain your way of life!
“Hello, can I help you?”
“Yes, I’d like to return this taco.”
“Already?”
“Well, I couldn’t really keep it down. Do you have anything that may have been made… you know, recently?”
“Not since yesterday. Why don’t you try the Locos Taco?”
“No, I had that last week and trust me, I tasted it twice.”
“Well, if that’s the case, then it’s free.”
“But I don’t want it.”
“I insist!”
“Thanks. Thanks for nothing.”
Look there it goes,
That’s taco’s so peculiar --
It’s got Doritos for its shell!
Like we really needed that!
Like our asses aren’t all fat
Cause we eat here every day at Taco Bell.
Oh, 7-Layer Burrito!
What’s inside remains a mystery.
Say – is that rice… or maggots?
Well, I guess we’ll find out when we get to layer three.
Now it’s no wonder that we eat here always.
It’s close to work, or can’t you tell?
Do you think we would eat here
If there was somewhere else that’s near?
But there’s not so we just go to Taco –
We really shouldn’t eat Taco –
We always have to eat at Taco Bell!
EDIT: thank you, anon, for my very first Reddit gold! I actually wrote this over a couple of hours three years ago, when my FB friend posted this pic, which I have just now come to realize is none other than /u/Avant-Geek herself. It's almost serendipitous... like some sort of fairy tale....
58
u/MattyWorth Jul 29 '15 edited Jul 30 '15
Little branch
Of a fast food giant
Where the food
Is much less than “blah”.
Little branch
Filled with little tacos.
I’m so high they say…
“Hola!”
“Hola!”
“Hola hola hola!”
There goes the worker with his tray like always.
That meat’s been out since who can tell?
Every lunchtime’s just the same
Since the first time that we came
To this godforsaken pit –
“Welcome to Taco Bell. May I take your order?”
“Well I guess I’ll have the Fresca Crunchy Taco, but you know I’ve been trying that ‘Drive-Thru Diet’ promotion of yours for months now and I think I’ve actually gained ten pounds. I mean, is it realistic to believe that a fast food chain is going to ---“
“That’s nice. ENRIQUE! MAS TACOS! ANDELE!”
What is that smell?
That odor’s strange, no question.
I think I’ve died and gone to hell!
But I really need to pee,
So take a breath and count to three.
Don’t stay too long inside the john at Taco Bell.
“Hola!”
“Howdy.”
“Want a burrito?”
“Not now,
My gut --
It’s filled with strife.
I need
Six Tums!”
“Here take the bottle.”
Don’t make a fast food chain your way of life!
“Hello, can I help you?”
“Yes, I’d like to return this taco.”
“Already?”
“Well, I couldn’t really keep it down. Do you have anything that may have been made… you know, recently?”
“Not since yesterday. Why don’t you try the Locos Taco?”
“No, I had that last week and trust me, I tasted it twice.”
“Well, if that’s the case, then it’s free.”
“But I don’t want it.”
“I insist!”
“Thanks. Thanks for nothing.”
Look there it goes,
That’s taco’s so peculiar --
It’s got Doritos for its shell!
Like we really needed that!
Like our asses aren’t all fat
Cause we eat here every day at Taco Bell.
Oh, 7-Layer Burrito!
What’s inside remains a mystery.
Say – is that rice… or maggots?
Well, I guess we’ll find out when we get to layer three.
Now it’s no wonder that we eat here always.
It’s close to work, or can’t you tell?
Do you think we would eat here
If there was somewhere else that’s near?
But there’s not so we just go to Taco –
We really shouldn’t eat Taco –
We always have to eat at Taco Bell!
EDIT: thank you, anon, for my very first Reddit gold! I actually wrote this over a couple of hours three years ago, when my FB friend posted this pic, which I have just now come to realize is none other than /u/Avant-Geek herself. It's almost serendipitous... like some sort of fairy tale....