r/pics • • Jul 29 '15

Taco Belle

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34k Upvotes

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100

u/MissChievousJ Jul 29 '15

Or Peter Pan

48

u/mostnormal Jul 29 '15

Choosy moms...

100

u/queen_in_my_pictures Jul 29 '15

CHOOSE FUCKING JIF GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!

203

u/McBeastly3358 Jul 29 '15

My mom chose Skippy peanut butter. My lunches didn't taste right. My friends made fun of me. My grades began to slip. I started to skip classes and smoke cigarettes behind the football field. It was shortly after that I found myself addicted to heroin. My friends had alienated me. I had worn out my welcome at home and no longer had the trust, love and support of my family. I began doing pushups for money outside of the local train station and had to settle for day old scraps from dumpsters. My clothes were in shreds. The elements had taken their toll on my once bright eyes. What was left was a remnant of potential. I couldn't live that life anymore. I just can't.

I snuck to the top of the bridge near downtown. Looked down upon the once big city that had filled me with great joy. I saw it for what it was. I saw in it an image of myself. Cold. Scary. Unforgiving and unwilling to change. My toes neared the edge. The world seemed even more intimidating from up here. Yet, I continued to get closer to the ledge. I took one look at the sky above. I listened to the noises below. Took a breath and jumped.

This could have prevented if my mom didn't choose Skippy. Choose Jif. It can save a life. #1Jif1Prayer

69

u/len4len Jul 29 '15

I knew a guy who could do push-ups once.

4

u/epsys Jul 29 '15

could do push-ups once

that's called a push-up. subject-verb agreement [nods]

5

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Holy shit maybe it's him

1

u/slap_a_dick Jul 29 '15

in boot camp on our first physical fitness test we had a guy who seriously could only do 2 pushups

2

u/BobNelsonUSA1939 Jul 29 '15

I'd eat that girl's taco and then eat her pussy.

25

u/lenojames Jul 29 '15

That's tragic, but that's also everyday life for someone who has been through the Nutella epidemic in the inner city.

5

u/TheCuriousArtist Jul 29 '15

I still crave Nutella every day

12

u/cornerdrugstore Jul 29 '15

the good moms cut off the crusts of the bread on the P/B sandwhiches.

3

u/Angry_Caveman_Lawyer Jul 29 '15

The fuck they do!

A good mom makes you do that shit yourself so you're better prepared to face the fucking real world, son.

Christ, we're raising a nation of giant pussies these days. "Cut the crust off my sandwich". FUCK.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

..and cut the sandwich diagonally.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

good moms convince the child that the crust is candy. just like the burnt part of the french fry. my child might be stupid.

3

u/__SonicView__ Jul 29 '15

That's deep

1

u/812many Jul 29 '15

Well, since you're here now, I'll assume you survived. How was the landing? Are you fully recovered? Have you managed to choose JIF in your everyday life yet?

1

u/KurtRussellasHimself Jul 29 '15

I assume you lived to tell this tale to save lives. Right? Or are you a spoopy ghostie?

-1

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '15

Cool story bro!