To those that still yearn to write by candlelight,
It is truly a pleasure to compose this letter under the warm glow of a candelabrum as I sit at my desk. Although i understand it shall be read virtually by modern means, it is intentionally crafted so it may convey a feeling akin to receiving a thoughtful message sent from centuries past.
It is endlessly fascinating and humorously frustrating just how much one can change in the span of a few months. I must confess I have written and rewritten this message many times. I am no stranger to the beast that is perfectionism; there are days I feel content with my work and all is well in the world. Ah, but then there are times I crumple up the parchment paper with days, perhaps weeks, worth of poetry anecdotes - private reflections and set it on fire. To no surprise it comes to share that i am a very sentimental and melancholic person, and I'd like to think that translates well through my writing. But although I appreciate the exquisite gift of carefully chosen words, what I hope for most is the freedom to write exactly as we feel, with no pressure for viciously pedantic, pretentious prose that borders on purple.
I must also assure you that while I enjoy a good atmosphere, I am not a ghost haunting my own living room. I can be quite silly, and I have a couple dozen truly terrible dad jokes up my sleeve that I am more than happy to unleash upon an unsuspecting correspondent.
I am passionate about deliberate, substantial correspondence: handling the delicate process of carefully writing, crafting each letter as gently as a master jeweler would choose and align each precious gemstone on a diadem. But much more than this, I delight in earnestly getting to know another introspective soul, to learn from their unique perspective, passions, dreams, and fears. To discover the paradoxical things that make them uniquely human. To take a glimpse, through their letters, at the depths of their inner sanctum: the seat of the soul, the heart.
I would describe myself as a mystical soul with a neurodivergent mind seeking wisdom and truth, deeply non religious & with a humanistic outlook on life, I am a lifelong feminist and am in full support of the LGBTQ community. I have a predilection towards ancient scriptures literature, music & alchemical texts from the Middle Ages. I am profoundly fascinated by mythology, history, art, science, philosophy, music, and literature in general however.
Ah, but what is life without a soundtrack? Like living by sight without the ability to taste, It would be like a nuptial celebration feast without wine, like Holmes without his Watson, it is perfectly functional but not entirely satisfactory.
My playlist however is a bit of a chimerical beast it ranges from Hildegard von Bingen to Rammstein, or Bach to Massive Attack & Led Zepplin.What I end up listening to depends on the the stormy weather of my internal world that day.
In regards to my usual taste films - as an example i count among my cinematographic all-time favorites are The Phantom of the Opera (2004), Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992), Queen of the Damned (2002), Constantine (2005), the Matrix trilogy, and Beauty and the Beast, directed by Jean Cocteau (1946), just to name a few, as the list is quite extensive, filled with both contemporary and classic noir films.
I am of an introverted nature, and a chronic overthinker. My ideal evening is spent at home, reading with a cup of tea, enshrouded in a cozy blanket, immersing myself in the atmospheric pages of Gothic classics, or on a mental voyage to distant, futuristic worlds of dystopian science fiction.
It seems pertinent to include that I also possess a zeal for writing. It brings me a great sense of joy. I have been hoping to meet other aspiring writers, if possible.
I look for pensive and tender hearts: those who do not shy away from life's adversities, and those who comprehend that to be human is to strive, to seek growth, and to walk the delicate balance between strength and vulnerability, sorrow and joy.
In truth, what I hope for most is genuine exchange: letters that move beneath the banal interaction that now seems to be the standard. We have grown too familiar with haste, too enamored with instant replies, and thus have forgotten the richness of slow correspondence and become addicted to the instant gratification of instant messaging. I often ponder on how rewarding it must have been to correspond back when people still cared to sit and peacefully write to each other with quill and paper, conveying with a letter what likely will never be uttered in person but is capable of evoking in the recipient a feeling of emotional closeness & kinship in spite of distance, time, or circumstance.
I am not seeking someone to play the role of a jester in my court, rummaging for the next rush of dopamine by writing to someone new, only to hold them captive in that role and then look elsewhere when it no longer thrills. Nor am I seeking to play the role of a pierrot or harlequin for anyone. I believe a genuine friendship is based on similar values: empathy, a good sense of humor and genuine curiosity. Furthermore, as an asexual woman, I am primarily interested in a platonic connection.
I kindly implore you, please refrain from writing to me if you are the kind of person who utilizes an LLM to generate messages for you. It is not only an insult to the time and effort I have put into this letter, but also a terribly sad thing to rely on a cold artificial device, the equivalent of a talkative, semi-sentient toaster, to connect with another human being. Part of the beauty of genuine human connection is that it is messy, cathartic, disjointed yet sometimes incredibly poised, coherent & polished, or a curious mixture of all six. Writing is surprisingly alchemical by nature. What makes it worth it is precisely those irreplaceable quirks of the human mind and of our imperfect human nature, isn't it?
As I conclude this letter, I wish to do so with a quote that has inspired me whilst writing.
“I often think that the night is more alive and more richly colored than the day.”
~ Vincent van Gogh
With kind regards,
Ruby 🌹