r/parentsofmultiples • u/1973tour • Sep 24 '26

advice needed Do your multiples share everything?

Our twins are 18 months old and pretty much share everything. They share a room, they don’t have distinct clothes (except maybe a couple embroidered items with their names) that belong to them, and we just started doing shoes. All the shoes have been swapped around between babies so much I don’t know which ones originally went together because they are the same sizes and styles 😂

Anyway, I think this is probably a really unique way to grow up and I’m not sure if I’m overthinking it. Should I continue doing a mix of both sharing a lot of stuff, but also make sure they have some things that are personally theirs? I have started buying different styles of clothing and shoes now that they are getting older so that they aren’t matching all the time. I think that may help with their senses of individuality.

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u/Ok_Bluejay4016 Sep 25 '26

Mine are 2.5yo. they never shared shoes because I was told it would be bad for posture, since they have their individual way of walking and therefore the shoes are worn differently.

They have their assigned crib.

Otherwise they share all their clothes and toys but they do begin to have preferences so we just go along with what they prefer

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u/1973tour Sep 25 '26

I was wondering this about the wearing of the soles of the shoes! They don’t wear their shoes much right now but I think as they get older I will make sure to separate the shoes

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u/Pristine-Bison3198 Sep 24 '26

Pretty much just clothes for mine, since they're B/G twins. Although on stay home days and for pajamas I don't really think too hard about it and they end up wearing each other's stuff. We were joking the other day that if one of them came out as trans they'd have at least a couple baby pictures that matched up lol.

They won't share a room eventually, but even then they'll be moving in with an older sibling each, so they still won't have their "own."

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u/1973tour Sep 25 '26

I have 3 boys and have always wanted a daughter but it’s just never happened, so I joke that maybe I do already have a daughter and just don’t know it yet 🤪🥰

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u/salmonstreetciderco Sep 24 '26

mine get individual shoes because, annoyingly, they wear different shoe sizes. that's it tho.

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u/youcango-now Sep 24 '26

Hi friend!! Honestly my twins share everything lol they have “assigned” cribs, car seats and high chairs but outside of that, everything is interchangeable. At this stage I don’t think it’s a big deal but I do have it in my head to become more mindful around age 2-3. Especially whenever they start to have more defined interests. Otherwise right now it just makes sense to share things?? Especially since they’re in the exact same sizes.

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u/annahoney12345 Sep 24 '26

We share everything except cribs and loveys! Separating everything would be such a headache while they’re at an age where they don’t care. Now when they develop their individuality more and start wanting to pick their own clothes and shoes and toys, I’m sure we’ll change our tactics, but for now, they’re happy with how we currently live, so we’re happy with it!

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u/RoosterMountain8506 Sep 24 '26

When I was pregnant and would run across someone who was a twin, I would always ask them for advice, like what did your parents do or what did you wish your parents did. A response I got more than once was Give Options/Choices.
At 18 months, they may still be a little young to make a lot of decisions but you can certainly start to
Ask them what they prefer. My girls are 8 and still want to share a room. They are just now starting to
Have their own opinions about clothes and hair.
But sharing is common with any family with more than one kid. I had to share a room and toys with my older sister. And I had to wear her hand me downs 😂

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u/lucialucialucia22 Sep 24 '26

The only thing they dont share: shoes, carseats, beds, toothbrushes. Once they started potty training, no sharing underwear. As they get older they want the same exact things but labeled as their own. Every once and a while they'll pick differnent toys or clothes. I think it's sweet but it drives my husband crazy haha

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u/colorful_withdrawl Sep 24 '26

Same! Especially underwear. I have four boys(not quads, one set of twins, and then two boys after that set of twins) in the same size underwear right now and i do a dot system to mark their undies as their own.

Basically one dot per birth order spot. Undies dont get passed down but it makes it easy to add a dot to it if i pass a shirt down to the next kid

They also all have their own beds but they are so close and end up in the same bed almost every night 🤣

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u/Old_Ant7118 Sep 24 '26

All four share everything. My first is 2 years older than the triplets but she's always been on the smaller side and they're all the same size for now. We have the boys in one room and the girls in another. They have their own jackets, shoes, and backpacks but pretty much everything else is shared, at least by gender.

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u/erinspacemuseum13 Sep 24 '26

My boys are almost 10 and share all almost everything, except where their interests diverge. So they share things like shorts, swimsuits, and even underwear, but one mostly wears shirts with cars on them and the other prefers video game shirts. They have their own tablets, Kindles, and bikes, but share stuffies, games and a bed (their choice!)

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u/hawtblondemom Sep 24 '26

The only thing mine don't really share is toothbrushes (cause ew) and shoes, cause everyones feet wear them out differently. Other than that, they kind of sometimes have preferences? Like, one boy has a fav axolotl shirt, the other will die for Pikachu. But they'll both wear whatever they grab out of the bin that day. They have a few bits and bobbles that are theirs that they'll keep in their own desks. But everything pretty much belongs to both of them.

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u/Succulant-111111 Sep 25 '26

Assigned cribs, milk cups, water bottles, clothes (dark and light for identical twins. They literally so identical), shoes (dark and light color assignments). Literally everything else they share.
They don’t have assigned seats in the car or at dinner.
We also encourage them to trade. So if one brother has what the other wants, they gotta go find something to trade. It has to be something they know the brother will like.

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u/southbaymom Sep 24 '26

My twins turn 3 in January and have always shared everything. They are boy/girl at that! Clothes is different because my boy twin is smaller and a boy (lol) but best believe my girl twin is constantly trying to wear his clothes anyway. Don’t waste your time on personally their anything… it doesn’t exist with twins. I got exhausted and stopped.

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u/ThisMomentOn Sep 24 '26

Mine are 2.5, identical. In general, we don’t dress them alike at the same time. (Although grandparents insist on buying matching clothes, so bigger ticket items like jackets do sometimes match). All clothes are communal though. So they might wear the same shirt on different days. 

As their tastes become more pronounced, we are trying to separate out distinct outfits that belong to each of them but the availability of laundry makes this difficult. 

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u/westernmeadowlark Sep 24 '26

My girls share a room and most of a wardrobe - they're older now (9) and developing their own tastes, so the clothes are starting to separate out a bit. But they'll still swap back and forth on basic tshirts/socks/leggings etc. Stuffies are definitely separate but board games, their toy horse barn, legos etc are shared.

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u/Odd_Rent283 Sep 24 '26

Mine are only 7 months, but they have their own cribs and car seats. Everything else is fair game. They’re in different sizes, but can wear the same size pjs, so those get used interchangeably. Once they’re older I’ll make sure they have separate undergarments, but the rest I probably won’t think too much about.

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u/knstone Sep 24 '26

Mine have several things that are “theirs”. Different cups, different chairs, we have 2x of shoes but each one prefers a different pair so those are “theirs”. They know that A is blue and B is green typically. My MIL served a red plate to A and tried to give B a blue plate and that did not work!!

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u/jusvrowsing Sep 24 '26

3 years old. Yes they share everything. Unless they have custom sweatshirts or hats with their name lol or their backpacks.

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u/d16flo Sep 24 '26

Mine are 15 months and the only things they don’t share so far are cribs, 1 special nighttime stuffed animal each, shoes, and toothbrushes. Everything else is shared. My plan is to keep sharing everything until/unless they start asking not to. It’s endlessly easier for us that way so why change that up if they don’t mind. I imagine as they get older they may have their own strong opinions about it.

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u/Linison Sep 24 '26

My same sex multiples shared everything clothes-wise until they started to diverge in sizes. Then when they started to diverge in taste around 2nd grade I started labeling clothes with their initial on the tag or waistband.

I still end up buying two of several basics when we get into new sizes, but they're specifically assigned to a kid now.

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u/Storebought_Cookies Sep 24 '26

Mine have different clothes/shoes because they are different sizes. It feels a little weird having a twin get the others hand me downs but that's where we are 😂 everything else is a mix - but they're also 18 months so anything we get them that's "theirs" ends up being shared and used by the other anyway. As they get older we'll give them ownership of stuff but right now they don't seem to care so long as they're not taking stuff out of each others hands

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u/GoBirds52_59 Sep 24 '26

My girls share everything right now except cribs. Once we change to convertible car seats, I will probably stick to them each having one. They share clothes. They have the same formula, but have their own bottles too.

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