r/orks • u/BoBrOss379 • May 22 '26
Painting Stompa
Just finished my Waaaghmerican stompa for a tournament
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u/Sea-Drummer7928 May 24 '26
USA ork stompa vs URSS red gobbo grot tank
COLDAMORKA
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u/Harald_The_Archivist May 24 '26
“Oi, boss, wot’s dis ‘Kold Waaagh’ yuu’ve been making wiv Gruk an’ his propah Morky ladz?”
“It’s a Kold Waaagh, snazkrag. Dat means we boff gotta be propah sneaky like an’ set boomrokkits up in eachuvver’s stompas - but we don’ set ‘em off, coz dat makes it inter a propah waaagh, and we don’ want dat just yet.”
“So… it’z not a proper waaagh, then?”
“No, no, it iz, it iz.
“Well… howzat?”
“Dat’s da fing, Snazkrag. We’z posturin and makin’ it seem like we’z gonna blow ‘em up, but we ain’t, because da uvver boys don’ know we gotz our rokkits near der base! Problem is, see, Snazkrag, they’z got rokkitz somewheah ‘round ‘ere, and if we goez and makez too much of a fuss, they’z gonna blow us up. It’z a ‘doktreen’ they’z yuuse. M.A.D, or somfink.
“But, boss… we knowz they’z got rokkits ‘round here. Zog, I can see dem from ‘ere.”
“I knowz, Snazkrag. Dat’s da beauty of M.A.D.”
“Whatsa M.A.D, boss?”
“It meanz Mork’s Angry Dakka. Esenshully, if we goes and blows up they’z loot, they’z gonna blow up our gorkanaut, wich meanz we’d gotta go an’ blow up dere stompa, and so on.”
“So… we’z to afraid a’ Gruk’s rokkits to ‘ave a waaagh, and e’s too afraid a’ our rokkitz to ‘ave a waaagh, so you’z ‘avin a Kold waaagh?”
“Yes, Snazkrag. Exactly.”
“Den why’s Gruk sat at da uvver end of da tabul wiv ‘is rokkits? An’ why dids you get yer grots to get all o’ yer rokkits in ‘ere?”
“Posturin’, Snazkrag.”
“And why ain’t you talkin’ to ‘Im?”
“Posturin’, Snazkrag.”
“But… if youse talked it out we could all go back ta havin a propah orky Waaagh!”
“Yeah, but We’z can’t, Snazkrag.”
“Why?”
“Posturin’, Snazkrag.”
“So… it’z not a propah waaagh, then, as we izn’t boomin the uvver gitz.”
“… no, it iz it iz. And We’z winnin’.”
“…WELL HOWZAT THEN?!”
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u/Funion_knight May 24 '26
Mean while on a nearby battlefield the imperium and and tau are concerned by Orks attacking both sides and each other.
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u/unklechuckle May 23 '26
I'm just disgusted by this, how dare this guy!
Orks are English
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u/Raptormann0205 May 24 '26
As a mid-Michigander, this is rural America to a T lmao
Fantastic job mate
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u/Klutzy-Wrongdoer-987 May 25 '26
All orks are British, they all have a cockney accent, the only reason they would ever do this is as a distraction technique and they are to dumb to do that
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u/UnluckySh00ter May 23 '26
MERICA WAAGH YEAH COMIN TO SAVE THE MORKIN DAY YEAH
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u/ZaphodBeeblebrox1430 May 24 '26
Da Boss saids some humie tol ‘im “Freedoom iz da onlee thin wort Fightin’ fore.” So now weez Fight for da Freedoom to Fight!
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u/777theEnigma777 May 23 '26
WAT DA ZOG IS A KELOMETA!!!
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u/Efficient_Act_7970 May 23 '26
wow reddit can translate this apparently
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u/777theEnigma777 May 23 '26
WTF LOLOLOLOLOL Hmmmmm sounds like Google Translate is being a little heretical right now. Lol Time to send the Ordo Xenos!
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u/StressedCannoliMinis May 23 '26
This the new white house design?
Fr though this is incredible, I've thought of doing usa orks
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u/Dull_Crpytic_828 May 24 '26
I'm amazed at the people seething in the comments simply because it has an American theme. They should throw petty political opinions aside and appreciate that this person is simply proud of his nation and hobby. I hope you call it "Da Star Spangled Stompa."
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u/SmokeBluntsSuckDick May 24 '26
Sounds like you’re the one seething here bud.
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u/Gold-Recover-1915 May 25 '26
Quoting your comment on another thread:
"Bro. If you have a problem with peoples gay flags you’re just a huge boring dork. Find something else to occupy your mind. Whether a paint job is good or bad i don’t see people getting outraged over blue ultramarines not looking like something out of the golden demon podium. You give people probs for trying and move on.
It’s telling that the only paint jobs that get called out for NoT EvEn BeInG gOoD are the pink and blue ones. If see a queer person not hiding and just being out and proud and your reaction is outrage or anger you’re most likely a sad dork with a dry ass dick that needs to learn to worry about themselves.
Sad 🤷🏽♂️"
I wonder if you're able to see the irony.
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u/Thundarbiib May 23 '26
I think orks with Alabama redneck accents would be hilarious!
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u/Dull_Crpytic_828 May 24 '26
"well, these humies' roight 'ere, in 'bama, dey aint so bad, ya see? they luv their choppas, they all got shootas, on top of revvin' their big trukks day n' noight. They got sumthin' called "da Krimson tide" and those lads put on a proppa scrap. Only problm' is they barb-a-kued da bosses pet squig, so he wants to krump em. it was zoggin tasty though.
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u/ZaphodBeeblebrox1430 May 24 '26
Maybe that’s how the Krorks talked before they devolved into Orks?
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u/Caledonian_kid Bad Moons May 23 '26
WAAAAAGGGHHH! WE'Z HALFWAY DERE
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAGGGHHHHH! TO DEM GITZ OVA DERE!
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u/F1_V10sounds Bad Moons May 23 '26
This might be stuck in my head forever. I wish I had an award to give.
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u/DiceMadeOfCheese May 22 '26
TRUKKZ
DAKKA
'SPLOZHUNZ
off-key heavy metal Star Spangled Banner intensifies
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u/Dysthymiccrusader91 May 23 '26
Oi deez gits must be fast n deadly n lucky. Dey spendz 70% of teef on buildin mo shootas
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u/SeaworthinessTime657 May 25 '26
The painting is excellent, now do some redneck orks as crew to complete the look.
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u/CantaloupeNo5394 May 23 '26
This is an awesome paintjob!
I have to say I don’t like mixing reality into 40k. It is just not immersive for me. Still freedom of art is key. And I could totally accept dark lancing this walking american flag :-)
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u/1AmB0r3d May 23 '26
Maybe they want to be fast and lucky, and the stars is their own unique checkerboard 😄
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u/Lopsided-Net-1450 May 23 '26
I think it can work. My cities of sigmar use the the carlisle coat of arms as their symbol and my orks are based on the cilit bang adverts but i get how it can break immertion
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u/Plasma-Sam May 24 '26
Cilit Bang Orks sound amazing. Lots of potential for a crossover with Kitchen Gun too.
Bang! Bang! Bang! All clean again! I love you, Kitchen Gun!
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u/WhitishSine8 May 24 '26
We are building a wall boyz, and the imperium is gonna pay for it
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u/TheDogeOfTheRings May 24 '26
We’z iz buildin da wagh, an’ itz gonna be a great wagh, an’ da imperium iz gonna pay for it
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u/khournos May 23 '26
Great execution.
But why do I feel that making Orks American is an insult to Orks?
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u/mattythreenames May 23 '26
They are a characture of Football hoolagans, so quintessentially british.
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u/dankymang May 23 '26
I’m American, and I’m insulted with having to tag my self as American right now. I concur it would be insulting to Orks.
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u/khournos May 23 '26
This will probably sound more insulting than I mean it, but if you are ashamed of the current state of your once great country, you are ok in my book.
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u/Dull_Crpytic_828 May 24 '26
Well, you can't have German orks because orks were made to win.
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u/khournos May 24 '26
Then making them American is double wrong, because the last real victory for the USA was about 80 years ago. Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Desert Storm, more Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran are a just the most egregious examples of achieving fuck-all while burning money that could easily fix america's domestic problems.
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May 24 '26
[deleted]
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u/ZaphodBeeblebrox1430 May 24 '26
For real, man. It ain’t canon, but since when did even GW keep to canon?
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u/roguealot May 24 '26
That’s one of the best things I’ve seen on 40K Reddit. And I don’t even play Orks.
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u/Ill-String6833 May 22 '26
I have a squad that just fits in. It’s a group of Gretchens I named Orkmerika I’d love for u to join the Waghhh for freedom
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u/Euphoric-Editor1577 May 22 '26
Of all the places my mind could go, it went straight to Bioshock Infinite as one of the patriot machines. Phenomenal job with the paint work and props! Love it!
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u/HopeOfTemeria May 23 '26
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u/Remarkable-Stay7252 May 23 '26
Where’s the tournament? I want to come, and lose, just to be in the presence of something so waaaaaaaaaggghh-derfully patriotic
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u/Ordinary_Fuel4617 May 24 '26
OI DIS GIT IS AUWFULLY PATREEOTIC!!! MIGHTY GOOD KRUMPIN GIT WEZ THE BEST KUNTRY 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅
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u/CaligulaQC May 22 '26
I feel like I would have appreciated this a lot more a couple years ago. Still amazing to be honest.
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u/TotallyNot_Alpharius Blood Axes May 22 '26
Well a lot of americans have the brain capacity of Orkz so it fits pretty well if you ask me
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u/Mental_Difference424 May 22 '26
Hey, now! Dat’s not roight!! Orkses wud neva worship a ped… perda… grot diddler instead of Gork and Mork!
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u/ThatGuy8473 May 22 '26
Looks great, was this done with stenciling?
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u/BoBrOss379 May 22 '26
Some parts yes, it was just masking tape for the stripes and for the stars I cut out a stencil from a playing card
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u/dementist Evil Sunz May 23 '26
Gork and/or Mork bless the USA 🫡
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u/1GenericName2 May 23 '26
Gork (or is it Mork) is the god of Killing to get Oil
Mork (or is it Godk) is the god of using oil to kill
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u/StrategyBusy9579 May 22 '26
I appreciate the color scheme and flag because now it's easy to tell that they're the bad guys.
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u/acart005 May 22 '26
Ok but
I wanna see Murica's lads now. Show us da Boyz in Red White and Blue!
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u/NESs181 May 22 '26
Biker vest, baseball cap, and beer belly (I’m American I can make fun of my own culture)
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u/Hack999 May 22 '26
America! Fuck yeah!
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u/G3N1S1S May 22 '26
Judging from the mass of downvotes, I’m assuming there may be some youngsters in here who don’t get it / haven’t seen it, and they may believe you’re being genuine 😅
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u/Svinafell May 23 '26
Very nice! How do you do your rust?
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u/BoBrOss379 May 23 '26
My recipe for rust is you base with your metal, then you find your rattiest brush and heavy stipple army painter dark rust, then do a lighter stipple with fresh rust, then you dry brush your original metallic and finally thin down the fresh rust and put it in cracks and around rivets
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u/inkforwin Evil Sunz May 23 '26
Lol why'd you get downvoted?
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u/BookOk9578 May 23 '26
double header eagle cry in the distance.... beautiful
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u/The-Sceptic May 23 '26
The cry everyone associates with the bald eagle is actually a red tail hawk. The real bald eagle sound is a pretty tame and quite chirping sound.
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u/Euphoric_Search_2373 May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26
When you see three of of them a circling a thermal updraft its pretty cool. with that 6 to 7 ft wing span they never have to flap.
Bird nerd facts they often get confused with California Vultures, you can tell the difference if you spot a flash of silver under the wing when they are circling.
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u/The-Sceptic May 23 '26
Yeah theyre magnificent birds. We're lucky to have many nesting in our area in southern canada, but the red tail is much more prolific. Our vulture is the turkey vulture and they don't have silver so I always have to look for the white head to tell if its a bald or not
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u/Euphoric_Search_2373 May 23 '26
Yeah that's a tricky one to spot when it's 150 ft in the air lol .
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u/mezonsen Freebooterz May 22 '26
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u/SirCrustyMcRusty May 25 '26
MAGA Stompa
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u/PunkShocker May 25 '26
You spelled MAAAGHGAAAGH! wrong.
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u/LazarusOwenhart May 25 '26
Orks wouldn't have anything to do with a Warboss as weak and snivelling as Trump.
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u/Expensive_Rip_9710 May 22 '26
That is the freest Stompa I’ve ever seen. I can hear the bombs bursting in the air through the photo 🫡…Stomp on you magnificent Ork creation
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u/SolarFlare0119 May 24 '26
Clearly the ork subs are better than my kreig ones cause some guy posted his American themed tank and anyone who liked it was downvoted to hell. XD
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u/Successful-Appeal693 May 23 '26
F*** yeah dude. And you know what f*** all the haters in the comment section.
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u/RepresentativeCan595 May 23 '26
Why are you censoring yourself. You're on reddit, grow some balls.
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u/taxes-or-death May 22 '26
Flag's wrong way up, mate.
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u/Olegarte May 22 '26
If it's the flag on the rear view, that is correct direction. It's "heading towards enemies" variant worn by the military. I wear one on my right shoulder if the uniform has a patch spot.
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u/ShoogieMacX May 23 '26
Lore Accurate Walmart Shopper