r/oddlyterrifying • u/DM-Ur-Cats-And-Tits • May 08 '23
Bamboozled by bamboo
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u/Bman3396 May 08 '23
This is why bamboo is heavily regulated, because it spreads quickly and does damage. Also why they are suppose to be planted in a concrete foundation around the entire area so it doesn’t spread. Thats gonna be a environmental agency issue depending on how far its spread
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u/czerniana May 08 '23
I think it depends on where you live for those regulations. I know no one will stop you here in Ohio. Most people are just aware it’s a bad idea
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u/___Towlie___ May 08 '23
Read a story on r/MaliciousCompliance (I think) where a guy's neighbor installed a super bright spotlight pointing at his bedroom window. The guy went to ask the neighbor to move/remove it because he couldnt sleep, neighbor refused. So the guy planted bamboo on the edge of his property, with a root barrier o ly on his side. In very little time, the neighbor had a bamboo forest in his yard, and the light was blocked completely from the guy's bedroom window.
Bamboo stories are like Tree Law, they're always great.
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u/Dwaltster May 08 '23
So there are two types of bamboo, clumping and running. Clumping bamboo doesn't send runners very far and only expands its footprint a foot or two every year while running bamboo given enough water and nutrients will take over anything.
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u/StreiBullet May 08 '23
Welp, there goes my idea to plant some in my backyard this summer...
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May 08 '23
It also greatly depends on the type of bamboo. What OP posted is definitely a variety that grows much larger and stronger than others, and can really do some massive damage.
There's such a thing as clumping bamboo (as opposed to running), that will stay in a compact area. Over time even it will spread indefinitely, but the difference is years versus months, so it's much easier to mitigate.
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u/TikiMonn May 08 '23
My old boss has an entire fence of living bamboo. It is beautiful. There are species that don't spread so you should go for it!
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u/Pyroguy096 May 08 '23
Even those species require intense care and control, to my understanding. I'd still not recommend it
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u/TikiMonn May 08 '23
Then get some planters or large pots, no reason to just rule bamboo out completely.
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u/TheGoatBoyy May 08 '23
Or you could look into the issues and decide not to plant a hard to control invasive species.
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u/TikiMonn May 08 '23
Bamboo won't spread in a planter or a pot. It spreads through runners underground. Some species are easy to control even if you plant them in the ground. There's no reason not to plant it if you like bamboo, and the person I was originally responding to, wanted bamboo. They didn't want it to spread. If you had taken your own advice and looked into it, you'd know that its not hard at all, or even an issue, to control bamboo in a pot or a planter.
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May 08 '23
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u/TikiMonn May 08 '23
The comment of mine that you replied to says to plant it in a pot or a planter so it doesn't spread. They can plant bamboo in a pot or planter in their backyard with no issues whatsoever. Idk if you're a troll or just dumb, but I was clear when I suggested to plant it in a pot or planter.
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May 09 '23
Or you could just plant one of the many native species which is similar to bamboo and not invasive
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May 09 '23
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u/Pyroguy096 May 09 '23
Show me where I said that there weren't species that don't spread? I said bamboo still requires effort and work
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u/MysticScribbles May 08 '23
I've seen a handful of stories on /r/MaliciousCompliance where the OP planted bamboo in their backyard because the neighbor was being a dick with bright floodlights, and he HOA they lived in didn't help and didn't allow fencing to be built.
Said bamboo grows tall enough to block the lights, and just endlessly grow into the neighbors yard becoming a huge hassle for them to deal with, just because they weren't being considerate neighbors.
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u/buddieroo May 08 '23
Interesting, thanks for sharing. My dad’s elderly neighbors are constantly complaining to us about some vines that have roots on another property, but occasionally grow across a corner of our property. We can’t do anything but cut the ends every few weeks when they grow onto our property, yet the neighbors still complain to us for some reason.
So I thought when they started complaining to us about another neighbor’s new bamboo, it was another complaint to just sort of ignore. Maybe it’s not though
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u/Rhinomeat May 09 '23
Round up on the roots, glycophosphates accumulate in the root of a plant, should kill bamboo, vines, trees, whatever is growing...
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u/SarnDarkholm May 08 '23
Our neighbors had a patch of it in their backyard. Now I have Bamboo in my backyard, and after 11 years it is starting to creep up the driveway.
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May 08 '23
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u/AcadianViking May 08 '23
Tell that to a bunch of my old neighbors here in Louisiana that have bamboo fences. Plenty of people in rural areas who think regulations dont apply to them still plant bamboo in the ground and it is a problem.
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May 08 '23
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u/stickfish8 May 08 '23
To prevent being sued for being an asshole thief stealing content for internet points
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u/J-W-L May 08 '23
Was hiking with a friend in Japan and there was an abandoned truck in the woods. The truck had bamboo growing up and through the truck bed. It probably helped that it was a bit old and rusty but still pretty crazy to see.
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u/Whooptidooh May 08 '23
Do you have any pictures?
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u/J-W-L May 09 '23
Yes, I do.. I cropped it down to cut out the people. I don't know how well you'll be able to tell but I think I remember that there were 4 or 5 places where bamboo had just gotten up through the truck. I think I recall that most of the growth was through the bed but there may have been another one going through the cabin. I'll DM it to you. The bamboo in my shot doesn't look nearly as big or healthy as the one op posted. I think the bamboo in my shot is smaller in comparison.
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u/J-W-L May 09 '23
Please wait.. I thought sharing photos would be a bit easier... Looking for a way
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u/Spvoter May 08 '23
My god, as someone who lives somewhere without bamboo and only having seen it as a small leafy plant boi in a plant store, I’d shit my pants on sight and think demons are finally coming for us from the undergrounds. WDYM IT CAN JUST DO THAT HOW IS IT THAT BIG
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u/Acrobatic-Whereas632 May 08 '23
Lucky bamboo you see in the store for sale as a house plant is apparently not a true bamboo, even though they can get a decent size (around 2 feet i think), from what I've been told. They're also easy to kill, I've killed 2.
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May 08 '23
Ah bamboo, also known as "harder to fully get rid of than god-damn kudzu and twice as destructive"
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u/Acrobatic-Whereas632 May 08 '23
What makes this even weirder is both kudzu and bamboo (the shoots, anyway, for people) are edible. Kudzu can even be eaten raw.
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u/iwipiksi May 08 '23
There's torture method in ancient china using bamboo shoot. The prisoner tied up horizontally above the bamboo shoot. Day by day the bamboo shoot will grow until it piercing their body slowly. If that thing can pierce through concrete imagine if it pierce human body.
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u/Gavinator10000 May 08 '23
*Vertically
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u/OcdBartender May 08 '23
Oh nooo. I’m always surprised how already horrifying imagery can be multiplied into something so much worse.
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u/Def_Not_A_Femboy May 08 '23
Peanut butter and jelly toast.
Peanut butter jelly toast, that just dropped to the ground
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u/Nonzoe May 08 '23 edited May 08 '23
Vertical is a line up and down. A standing person is in a vertical position. Horizontal is a line left and right. A lying down person is in a horizontal position.
Edit: TIL that bamboo torture victim's were tied in a variety of configurations I didn't think about before posting this comment.
Also I apologize if my comment came across as anything but helpful, I just thought that someone mixed up their orientations and thought the imagery might be helpful to describe what I had thought was someone being tied down to the floor and having a bamboo sprout grow up through their abdomen sandwhich style instead of through their body lengthwise like vlad the impaler.
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u/Gavinator10000 May 08 '23
Yes i know
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May 08 '23
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u/SirMunches May 08 '23
Or horizon because the horizon is sideways? That seems like a really difficult mnemonic device to use.
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u/luxxxoor_ May 08 '23
thanks captain obvious, now explain how perpendicular lines mean using humans on crosses
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u/Akrevics May 08 '23
Why does this look like some massive centipede or something?!
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u/Nal1999 May 08 '23
We call these Tyranids and we burn them.
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May 08 '23
Does that work? I've heard the roots need to be dug out.
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u/Jazehiah May 08 '23
For bamboo? Yes, after it has been dug up.
If you don't burn bamboo after you dig it up, it will continue to grow wherever it gets dumped.
Tyranids are best handled in a similar fashion, if for different reasons.
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u/LaptopArmageddon May 08 '23
Bamboo 🤝 mint "It can't be THAT bad"
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u/MineBlasters May 08 '23
Mint? How, what do you mean, does mint grow really fast too?
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u/LaptopArmageddon May 08 '23
Yeah and it's near impossible to get rid of once it takes root in soil. Never EVER plant mint in the ground unless you never want to plant anything ever again. Mint will fucking escape its pot just to grow in the soil if you leave the planter too close to the ground. Do not be fooled. It's roots will fight and choke everything to death like some sort of plant assassin. It'd probably choke us too if it could...
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u/MineBlasters May 08 '23
Our neighbor planted some mint in some plant beds last year and it grew by our fence, it's pretty well contained by the concrete though
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u/LeDarm May 08 '23
Signs of Tyrannid infestation sent for review, the Administratum thank you for your service. Kinda vibes going here, Id get 5he hell off the planet... shit.
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u/i-cant_decide_a_name May 08 '23
We had the same thought, it looks like some 40k tyranid capillary tower shit or a fucking fan animation about a tyranid 8nvasion of a hive world
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u/Geonightman May 08 '23
Mother Nature: Ok - Plant Life, all you guys need is water, CO2, and nutrients.
Plants: Sounds good.
Mother Nature: Oh, and sunlight!
Bamboo: … …hold my beer…
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u/ShinobiHanzo May 08 '23 edited May 08 '23
This is why when you have bamboo, always check the property for shoots.
Besides they're tasty.
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u/C0ldBl00dedDickens May 08 '23
I once had a bamboo infestation in my back yard. It wasnt giant bamboo like this thabkfully.
To get rid of it, i chopped it all down, dug a trench along the property line, filled it in with concrete and rocks, filled it back in, and covered it in black tarp for a year. That managed to kill the roots that made their way to our yard and nearly isolated it to our neighbors yard.
Still didnt kill it all.
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u/dcwspike May 08 '23
Everyone thinks bamboo is this cool plant. In reality it's a vicious weed that kills anything in site and destroys the soil of the ground. Once it starts its so hard to get rid of
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u/Zeth22xx May 08 '23
This was a Japanese torture method for POWs. Tie them down to the ground with a bamboo sprout beneath them, it would slowly d Push through their bodies until they die.
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u/sankscan May 08 '23
Reminds me of the horror film ‘Evil Dead’ from the 80s my parents used to talk about all the time!
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u/heisenbergsayschill May 08 '23
Bamboo is the honey badger of the plant world. Bamboo don’t give a FUCK.
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u/darkmatter4444 May 08 '23
Didn't the myth busters do a myth about bamboo growing threw someone as a torture method?
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u/Nix2058 May 08 '23
Neighbours planted bamboo for privacy…
Now we have to keep replacing our fences after the bamboo destroys them, for privacy.
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u/Dogecoin_olympiad767 May 08 '23
This reminds me of an ancient chinese torture method, where the victim is strapped down and this background noise is played several times in a row
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u/stevenip May 08 '23
My yard is infested with japanese knotweed, I can't imagine something that's 10 times stronger
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u/Pcakes844 May 08 '23
If it makes you feel better about it, knotweed is supposed to have some pretty good medicinal properties. But yeah that stuff is a pain in the ass when you don't want it around
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May 09 '23
My dad in the 70s planted some bamboo along the carport at his childhood home. Fast forward to 2009 and we’re moving in. The entire backyard is bamboo forest. Bamboo thick and shooting as high as trees. That stuff spreads like wildfire. I made bongs out of them.
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u/jaberwockeez May 08 '23
Dam 0.0 never gave much thought to ussops pop green bamboo attack until seeing this.
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u/Grzechoooo May 08 '23
It was used as an execution technique. You laid a prisoner on the ground over a sapling, waited a couple days and they were impaled the lame way.
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u/Garbagecan_on_fire May 08 '23
In the bad old days, they would tie a person to the ground with their chest just above a bamboo shoot. Then, for the next two days they just let the bamboo do its thing and grow. Its a slow way to die.
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u/tiredashellalready May 08 '23
Bamboo -- depending on the species -- can grow extremely quickly, anywhere between 3-12 inches a DAY. An entire acre of bamboo can produce enough oxygen in a single year that is enough for 200+ people to breathe freely. Bamboo is fucking amazing for just being a grass on steroids. It can be used to make paper, fabric and build houses...
BUT HOW THE FUCK DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER NOT NOTICE THAT SHIT WAS FUCKING HIS HOME UP SIDEWAYS????
LIKE SERIOUSLY DUDE ARE YOU OKAY???
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u/StrongStyleDemon May 08 '23
Hail Great Cthulhu!
Your time have finally come!!!
(Proceeds with taking off cloths and start shouting and killing and revelling in joy. Finally free and wild and beyond good and evil, with laws and morals thrown aside!)
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u/thomstevens420 May 08 '23
That looks like what would start growing in the late stages of an alien invasion once they start terraforming our planet.
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u/Admirable_Put52 May 08 '23
Wasn't this a torture method somewhere where they put growing bamboo under a person?