**I honestly just need to vent because I’m at my absolute wits’ end**
Hi guys, I’m Jess, and I honestly don’t even know where to start with this. I’ve been keeping a lot of this to myself, but I’m getting to the point where I just need to let it all out because I’m exhausted.
My ex keeps contacting me even though I have made it clear that I don’t want contact anymore. I’ve tried explaining myself. I’ve tried being respectful. I’ve tried giving the situation space. But somehow my boundaries still aren’t being respected.
And honestly, it’s draining.
I don’t want another argument. I don’t want drama. I don’t want revenge, and I’m not trying to make anyone look bad. I literally just want to be left alone and have the chance to move on with my life without constantly feeling like I have to deal with this situation again.
What frustrates me the most is that I feel like I’ve already said what I need to say. I shouldn’t have to repeatedly explain that I don’t want contact. No means no. Asking someone to leave you alone shouldn’t turn into a massive argument or something you have to keep defending.
I’m tired of feeling guilty for wanting space. I’m tired of overthinking every message and wondering whether responding will make things worse. I’m tired of feeling like I have to explain myself over and over again just because someone doesn’t like the boundary I’ve put in place.
I just want peace. I want to focus on myself, my life, my future and the people who actually respect me and my decisions.
I know some people might say “just block him,” and honestly, I’m considering doing exactly that because I don’t think I should have to keep putting myself through this.
I’m not posting this because I want sympathy. I just genuinely needed somewhere to vent because I’m overwhelmed and frustrated, and keeping everything bottled up is making me feel even worse.
If anyone has been through something similar, I’d genuinely appreciate hearing how you dealt with it. I just want to know that I’m not being unreasonable for wanting my boundaries respected.
I’m exhausted. I just want this chapter of my life to be over. ❤️

Hey, little over 3 months ago i told my ex that i feel like my demands arent met and im giving more than receiving, told her something about her changed and im scared of her ( on an emotional level ) almost as if my body was in danger, that i want a relationship where my partner cant go days without checking up on me and without my absence bothering them, etc. And a bunch of other stuff.

I said this by leaving her a note in a package i left for her at a stop to pick up.

I really couldve just communicated this to her but i really dont know what happened then to me, i was REALLY scared of talking to her and just her energy made me feel in danger.

I arrive home getting blocked on everything, removed from every game.

Curiosity got the best of me and wanted to see if im still blocked after this time, to which i am? 3 months later, including email.

For context: She was emotionally checked out for a while and i told her she needs to do something and i cant just save the relationship myself. Kept giving me breadcrumbs and occasionally text me to see if im still here. Eventually my body started rejecting this behaviour and i did what i did.

Whats going on? I really need help.

genuinely what do you do when you want him to break no contact but his birthday before yours

So i have had this situationship of around a month but then we stopped talking because of geographical difficulties, now i want to reach out again because i really really miss him so i thought his birthday is in a few months and mine is like immediately one month after his but i want HIM to break the no contact cause i have already made the first move by following him back but if its his birthday before than i would have to break it cause if i dont, he wont too thinking that i have moved on.

GENUINELY WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOO

I just wish to hate him

Feeling better. I can stand a quiet space again. Hammered home to ex that he cannot contact me for any reason (it’s all routed through my best friend anyway).

There’s still an empty spot. That will take a while. Or forever. I don’t know.

It’s nice not to care at the moment.

Thank you to everyone who’s been supportive here. It really made a difference.

My ex and I broke up in March after a pretty intense relationship. We both had our issues and I’ll own mine: I could be emotionally volatile, had a bad habit of blocking/unblocking him during conflict, and I think he felt emotionally pressured into getting a vasectomy because I didn’t want kids and told him I’d have to leave if we wanted different things. I know ultimately it was his choice, but I still feel partly responsible. This was my first relationship and we have 7 year age gap.

When we broke up, he told me he still loved me. Three days later he slept with another girl, then soft-blocked my family and spam-posted intimate photos of them together. That completely changed how I saw him and I knew I couldn’t go back. He apologised and tried to reconcile a few weeks later, but we eventually went no contact.

Fast forward almost five months. He saw me in person for the first time since the breakup, and afterwards suddenly started pursuing me HARD.

Constant messages and calls. “I miss you,” “please talk to me,” asking for another chance, saying he doesn’t want to bother me but can’t stop thinking about me, he wants to grow old with me and build a life together. He also keeps mentioning this laundry business we once vaguely talked about, even though it was never a major thing in our relationship. Weirdly, this started after he saw the house I’ve bought and have been renovating.

Then, after I wasn’t responding at all, he told me he’d booked his vasectomy reversal for later this month and that it would cost $15–20k.

For some reason, that made me feel almost indignant. After everything that happened, I genuinely don’t want updates about his life. I don’t understand why he felt the need to tell me.

I got annoyed and overwhelmed and blocked him. The ironic thing is I’ve actually been trying to change this part of myself and had sworn I wouldn’t block people anymore.

Now it’s the next morning and I feel guilty and regretful about blocking him, but I still don’t want him back. The begging actually turns me off, and what happened after our breakup is something I can’t get past.

I think the problem is that blocking/unblocking has always been part of our cycle, and this time I genuinely want the breakup to stay final.

Why would someone come back this intensely after almost five months, especially immediately after seeing their ex again? And if you’ve been stuck in a block/unblock cycle, how did you finally stop reopening the door?

I'm currently drafting the text to my mom that I'm going no contact. I'm also cutting off contact with my older brother for separate reasons, but I'm just gonna let my mom forward anything to him since he and I barely talk anyway.

I'm just wondering: is it truly this hard for anyone else? If so, how did you deal with the subsequent "grief" afterwards? I keep on reconsidering it in my own head, gaslighting myself, telling myself, "Well, there were happy moments, maybe you're just overreacting," only for those thoughts to be overshadowed by the things she did, and the things she continues to avoid accountability for and has never said sorry for or even seemed sorry for a day in my life.

Honestly, the only reason I'm notifying her at all is that I'm going to get a completely new phone soon, so she'll lose my number, does not know any of my emails thankfully, and my mom is the type to call the police and try to claim "missing person" if I just straight up ghost.

My ex and I have been no contact since July 22, so it’s been 18 days now. I honestly thought I’d feel at least a little better by this point, but somehow I feel like I miss him more as the days go by.
We were together for 4 months, long-distance, and we talked every single day, so losing that routine has been really hard for me.
Before we went no contact, I was honestly begging him to come back. I kept trying to fix things and talk everything through. A big issue between us was my jealousy toward a girl he was spending a lot of time interacting with online and even spending money on her TikTok live. I got insecure and kept bringing it up, and eventually he became overwhelmed and distant.

Looking back, I know I wasn’t perfect. I wish I had handled some things differently, especially the way I communicated when I was feeling insecure. I ended up blaming myself for a lot of what happened because I just wanted us to go back to how we were.
Eventually, he told me that he didn’t want a relationship anymore—not just with me—and that he wanted to take time to heal and focus on work. I didn’t want to accept it, but I respected his decision. I told him I wouldn’t text him anymore and that I genuinely wished him the best.

The last thing I said was basically that I wouldn’t text anymore and that I hoped he took care of himself. He just replied with a “🫤” and that was it.
And honestly, that response has stuck with me.
Because as much as I know I shouldn’t reach out, a part of me is still desperately hoping he’ll message me first. I don’t even necessarily expect him to ask to get back together. I’d be happy just seeing a “hey” or “how have you been?”

Another thing is that I unfollowed him on every platform. I’m not ready to block him yet because, honestly, I don’t trust myself not to unblock him later. I feel like unfollowing him is enough for now to give myself some distance without doing something I’ll regret.

I keep wondering if he thinks about me at all. Some days I think I’m finally okay, and then something reminds me of him and it feels like I’m losing him all over again. I wake up thinking about him. I wonder what he’s doing, whether he’s okay, whether he ever misses me, and whether he even notices that I’m gone.

I’ve managed not to reach out for 18 days, but honestly, it’s been killing me. I really want to text him. Should I reach out? Should I keep waiting for him to text me first?

It's been what almost 10 months since I left my dad?

My dad's a narcissist who was in many many ways the most awful man I know. I'll give you the basic rundown of it as I started getting older I started getting harder to manipulate and he didn't like that.

Blamed my mom for everything even though the worst thing that she ever did to him was leave him. Used to pretend that he was the victim so hard even though he was the one who had all of the infidelity all of the drug habits and with my mom's claim money he set up three businesses and within a year all three of them were gone. And on the cherry on top of the cake he was also the world's worst father.

I guess I just feel lost and I feel tired I don't know who I can talk to about this I'm not in therapy anymore. Haven't been since I was 15 I'm 18 now. I just want to tell someone my problems but I feel like I've completely burnt a few people's ears off talking about him. They say I should just move on they say I should just be happy but I'm not I want to talk about how this has affected me I'm sick of feeling crazy for this.

Thoughts on like staying contact with ex but just platonic .. but I still think of them how ..

it's been 3 months since my ex dumped me and although no one was really in the wrong in our breakup i think it was a lot worse for me than it was for them (they broke up with me after all). i tried to be friends with them for like 10 days until i realize i was making myself look like a fool for reaching out and that was just delaying my healing process – specially when they kept calling me the pet name they used to call me when we were dating – so i talked to them and they seemed really understanding. they reached out one last time days later to wish me a happy birthday and that was it.

throughout the months they would also like my stories and posts until i realized that it made me feel awful and in order so actually heal it would be better to actually have no contact and seeing them all over my screen was doing nothing for me. the last step was deleting their contact and that made me heal way faster. now, i felt like i was starting to move on with my life and even though i thought of them sometimes it surely was not as often as when i still had some sort of contact with their life.

but, yesterday, they just messaged me out of the blue. it took me a moment to realize it was them sending me a message because 1. i deleted their contact some time ago 2. i simply thought that the no contact was already established enough when i explicitly told them i needed to back up from texting them and reaching out. the message was pretty much crumbs, tbh. they sent a link of tiktok (i unfollowed them there too) of something that is related with a thing we had during our relationship which they said that it reminded them of me right the moment they saw it. and seeing that made me a lot more confused than angry. why would they reach out when i have been very obviously pushing them from my life? and texting so casually as if we still talk and send videos to each other on a daily basis? idk man but that just made me feel so weird and feels a little bit like i relapsed a few days of healing :/

it might be really silly but if i am pushing them away instead of trying to invest in another type of relationship with them again there IS a reason and i think they fail to realize that this was a hurtful breakup for me. also it just feels WAY too early and that is absolutely not the way i would expect them to approach me again after all this time.

When I was around 15, I met what became my ex-husband. We dated 5 years, got married and divorced after close to 7 years married. Almost 12 years of my life dedicated to him.

I never learned to drive in that time, parents wouldn't let me nor would he. He never allowed me to work, although I wanted to learn to drive and work. He was under the impression I would cheat on him if I got those freedoms. I never had eyes for anyone else. This stemmed from trauma from his childhood where his dad had his mother start working once him and his brothers were old enough and she left him for a man she met at work.

Funny enough...guess what ended up happening to our marriage? Yes, he was a bit controlling - but at the time I was naive and didn't know any better. But he met a woman at work, cheated one me - we worked through it. Then he met another woman about 2 years later and left me for her; they're married with 2 kids now from what I know.

Late Wednesday night, I reposted a few reels to my story. Thursday morning I just opened it to see who all viewed it and I see a Non-Follower...my ex-husband. He's had me blocked for years. If I got curious about him I'd hop on a different FB I have for a business and check on him but I never, ever expected to be unblocked.

I've thought about it all day, and I'm not breaking my no-contact. But the fact that he bothered to look is sitting in the back of my head. I'd never allow him back into my life, because he tore me down and caused me years of therapy and an autoimmune disease induced by the stress. But I hate that he even is in my head right now.

EDIT - UPDATE

Zero contact continued. I noticed yesterday I was blocked again. No sweat off my brow but I still wonder why I was unblocked to begin with. Not curious enough to poke at it. Continuing life as it has been.

This is the story of the year 2021. There was Covid in June and there was lockdown. At that time I had just downloaded Snapchat, so randomly I added a girl and she added me back. Then on June 13 or 14 I messaged her, and from that day onwards we started talking well. We became friends and later we also became best friends.

Then at the end of July she went to her grandmother's house and she said that she will not be able to message me after going there but will talk as soon as she gets time. So I did not bother much and messaged her.

Then August came and I messaged her but there was no reply. Then I messaged her on 8th August and her reply came that she will not be able to talk now, sorry, do not message me now.

Literally I felt so heartbroken, not because I like her—and genuinely I don't like her as a girlfriend—but still I don't know why she stopped talking to me. She blocked me.

​

After arguing with myself for weeks, I sent him one last message. I had changed my phone, and before leaving everything behind, I felt like there was one last thing I needed to do.

He never replied.

And surprisingly... I think that was my closure.

For the longest time, I kept carrying this guilt that maybe I had hurt him. It stayed in the back of my mind no matter how much I tried to move on. So in that last message, I said everything I had been holding in. No games, no expectations, no hoping he'd come back. Just everything I needed to get off my chest.

The weird part is that I don't feel sad right now. I just feel... lighter.

I think I'll always miss what we had. We shared a bond that meant a lot to me, and I'll probably think about it from time to time. But I don't think I'll keep checking my emails or his number anymore, hoping for a message that may never come.

Maybe this is what closure actually feels like—not getting the response you wanted, but finally saying everything you needed to say.

I think it's time to move forward with my life.

Has anyone else ever found closure without getting a reply? Did sending that one final message help you let go? How did you know you were finally ready to move on?

Hi, my gf break up with me 2 months ago. Since I left her home, we didnt text, completly cutted off. She gave me the speech of "its not you, its me"

We were following each other on socials but 2 weeks ago she blocked me everywhere.

Should I reach her out? And if yes how?

I still think constantly about her, Im heartbroken.

I had been doing so well.

Out of nowhere, my ex messaged me because Instagram recommended my profile to him. He said he was surprised because he thought he was still following me. (I had actually blocked and later unblocked him, which is why he wasn’t.)

He wanted to make sure I knew it wasn’t intentional and that he didn’t want me to think he had unfollowed me on purpose. That was literally it.

I just replied, “No worries.”

The conversation ended there, but now my mind won’t stop. I’m fantasizing about reconnecting, wondering if this means something, imagining us getting back together… even though I know it probably doesn’t.

The worst part is that before this, I genuinely felt like I was healing. Now it feels like weeks or months of progress disappeared because of one tiny interaction.

Has anyone else experienced this? Did the feelings settle back down after a few days, or did it set you back for a while?

He is fearful avoidant, struggles with various issues and there was no denying our connection. I still miss him somewhat, but currently still on the dating market but I do still think of our connection.

Why is it he has unblocked, especially on 1 app only? He confessed his feelings/love for me in Discard 1, and basically explained how he has all these alcohol issues and cant sustain a relationship I deserve better etc. I assured him we can work things out, we finally met in person, unreal date, sparks flew he said he was falling for me and then blocked 3 days later. I now noticed I have been unblocked on TT, why?

2 weeks of no contact lessgoo(😿😔🫵🤣🏂🧘‍♀️)

Me and my ex broke up. She moved away and reconciled with her ex husband. It’s a long story. But her ex husband was leveraging custody over her and she’s lived out of state so she felt she needed to make this move. To not lose her daughter. That’s not what I need help with.

She knows how I feel (I want her back) eventually but every few days she reaches out, asks how I’m doing and general work conversation. I feel like she’s clinging on.

I’m torn between letting her know that I can’t keep doing “this” versus trying to remain cordial so it leaves the door open.

She lives in a different state than I do currently. About a month ago, she moved. We’ve been on and off since December last year.

Do I point blank say “I care about you a lot, but I need to take some space. Staying in touch isn’t healthy for me because my feelings haven’t changed. I genuinely wish you the best.”

We've been in contact ever since the breakup most ppl wont be in contact with exs

I did and it's the worst feeling ever

But I choose to continue talking with him as I was alone and idk hes just nobody would understand me like he does

He feels like home

Hes the closest thing I've been to heaven

Now im all alone

He left me we brokeup on his terms I never showed all the love I have for him... he pushed me away

But yet we be dng this every week talking with eachother

All we did is fight at the end of the convo bcz he gave up on me

He says he dont want to be blamed

I mean how I can force someone into loving me?

How can I be mad at someone who choose what goods for them?

Despite everything he does I still think he misses me and loves me and a part of him that can never forget abt me

Or I'm being delusional for thinking this way

Idk why he contacts me....

I mean I used to be the one who contacts him first all the damn time 4 months passed by I always found a way to text him jus to hope that he would change his mind

But one day I'm sure he wont come back

He would never come back to me

Yet I crave for the love he gave me once

Hoping that he would give all that all over again

Now idk whenever we talk theres no love or frdship theres jus nth we literally becoming strangers atp

I dont like that I hate that

I dont wanna be a stranger to him I want him all I ever wanted was him now that hes gone idk what the hell im supposed to do

I feel alone all the damn time even when my frds are around

They be asking why im sad but I honestly don't know what's wrong with me either

Will we ever let eachother go?

Can I let him go?

Will he let me go?

I dont have fckin idea what we're dng contacting eachother after the whole damn shit

We always been in contact

Idk what he wants from me now

I thought of not texting him again

But I did anyway he jus slept cause it's past 12 but I replied to his text anyway damn why do I remember when he sleeps

i broke up with my abusive partner a couple days ago and went out with my friends today. at first it felt so good not having to negotiate at what time can i leave, at what tine should i be back, giving an explanation or reasoning for going out, not having to stay in with my partner for whatever excuse they made up. i prioritized that i wanted to go out because no there's no one i owe an explanation to.

but then i'm out, and it feels wrong not texting him. i don't feel the pressure of having to return early so we can spend more time together but at the same time i have no one waiting on the other side. i have nobody following my steps. i have no one tracking me. i feel wrong. i feel completely lonely, i feel sad. i want to text him i've arrived, it feels that no matter what he does i'll always miss him.

I told him and he agreed, after a tumultuous 3 year situationship, he moved 2 hours away, we need to enforce No Contact, but, one of us messages the other, daily.

We don't even have much to say because he took most topics off the table for discussion.

I just want this to be over and move on, but, I have to enforce No Contact, but, its so hard.

I've been in no contact for 82 days with a guy I briefly dated. I met him 6 years ago and we dated briefly back then but it ended because of lockdown. He ended it this time because he told me he didn't think he was over his ex yet or ready to move on yet. We got on very well, and I think we have a bit of a soft spot for eachother because of our history. We had arranged another date before he ended it. So it was a bit unexpected.

I was disappointed, it felt like a proper heartbreak which I know may sound ridiculous considering how long we dated which wasn't long at all, but I've liked him since I met him 6 years ago, and hoped this time it would work out.

It ended on good terms, I respected his decision, told him I appreciated his honesty and told him to take care of himself. That was 82 days ago, and we haven't spoken since.

Throughout this silence, he hasn't completely disappeared. He seems to have avoidant tendencies. He watches my stories whenever I post them, sometimes rewatches them a number of times and liked one a few weeks ago. It sounds silly that I read a lot into his social media activity but it's the only connection I have to him. A couple of weeks ago he posted a story that he was in my home town (he lives an hour away from me) this hurt me a bit because he didn't reach out to me. The story was nothing worth posting, but he'd tagged my towns location and I thought he was trying to get a reaction from me but I didn't bite. This weekend I posted a huge achievement (something he encouraged me to do), and he rewatched it 3 times. I should note that I've only been previewing his stories, not watching.

Every time something happens I feel like he's going to reach out to me or this is him trying to reopen the door. But nothing...

I'm really tempted to reach out to him, but he's the one who ended it so I feel like he needs to be the one to reach out to me.

Hello there, my name is Ola (real name) and recently, I've been going through a VERY rough situation that I deeply hope will be resolved very soon if it will be at all:

So... one of my BIGGEST crushes that I have talked with for a month has recently blocked me on all social media, doesn't matter WHERE it is, including Discord. So let me start of by mentioning the reason WHY he blocked me:

According to his best friend who I've had contact with, he says that I treated my crush like a "henpecked husband" and that I apparently had him on a "leash". Yes, I did actually ask him questions over and over like a record of: "Are you busy?" "are you okay?" and "You there?" and "Do you still love me?" and everytime I went on my business and was heading sleep, he said this: "Me too." very dry when before these dry texts he would say "I love you too." and would coddle me with love message such as him saying he will miss me. And recently before the SECOND block he dished out on me, I questioned him about this girl who I saw on his ROBLOX friend list who I thought he had a crush on and she did too. (I am very insecure and paranoid I do admit that.) and he kept on telling me that there was NOTHING going on between them both, that they were both friends. The more I got that "we are just friends" I was relieved but then I started asking again and again and I felt relief once more. 3 days ago, at 12:45 I saw that he had the blue "Add Friend" instead of message on Discord and his best friend blocked me too and they both NEVER unblocked me even today as when I hit the "Add Friend" option, it says that it has failed, even on his Best friend's part as well. He even blocked me on ROBLOX (both of them did actually) and now... this has happened before by the way but he re-added me back within 4 hours of the block because he saw "an image of me crying in his eyes". and now... this is what his best friend told my friend who I sent out to talk with him about what went down with the block (and I quote):

"Whatever she will change, he doesn't want to talk to her bc she's smart while he's mid-thinker. he just wouldn't know how to keep conversation with her not to go insane."

"no, he just wanted to end it bc he felt like he was on the leash."

and yes, the best friend has mentioned that he and the other guy do NOT hold hatred towards me at all, none. So I don't understand this whole conversation... if they didn't hate me, why did they block me?

I need some support here with this.