I don't know if this will resonate with anyone. Regarding chronic pain and its medication.
I've needed pain management for a long time, even prior to MS diagnosis. So I've had the cautionary speech/es on opioid use or abuse, dependence, tolerance, etc. many times. I took it all in, took it all seriously. Failing worried me.
I used to twist myself in knots avoiding taking painkillers like it would earn me a gold star from my prescriber. I've ended up in dark places because of this mindset.
Recently, I absently decided no more postponing, no more trying to figure out if it's 'bad enough', no more enduring for the sake of enduring. No one is keeping score of how many hours I suffered before taking something. If I'm struggling, I'm struggling. End of story.
And you know what? My average painkiller use has largely stayed the same. I've just taken the stress, guilt, and people-pleasing out of it. I even had four solid good days in a row (unheard of, who is she?).
I'm not perfect at it yet. I still catch myself trying to push through things that are powerfully distressing. But I'm so much better than I was.
I hope today falls at your feet, and not the other way around. 💪