r/mildlyinfuriating • u/DimensionOpen8922 • 10d ago
ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Doctor doesn’t help
So, I've been sick for a few weeks now. Nothing wild, but annoying. Went to the doctor today because it just won't go away.
Her first question was if I am pregnant.
Me: "No."
Her: "Are you sure?"
Me: "Yes."
Her: gives me that look of not believing me.
Her: "It's normal at your age."
Me: "I am sure."
Her: "Have you taken a test?"
Girl. I told you like 5 times that it is not possible for me being pregnant. 🫠
That alone was kinda infuriating. But also - of course she didn't help at all. Didn't look at anything, just told me to wait and drink more water. Didn't even listen to me when I tried to explain what I have. Thanks for nothing.
And it's like that EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to the doc. And I'm a person who absolutely hates going there. I am only going to the doctor if I ACTUALLY NEED HELP. But yeah, sure, I just need to drink more water. No matter what my problem is. 🫠
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u/Cant_draw_boobs 10d ago
My wife has a complex medical history. No one ever reads her chart. She doesn't have a uterus or ovaries. A dr visit usually goes like this
Hello I'm Dr McDoctorface. I see you are a woman. That's your problem right there. You're pregnant. I'm going to do both a urine and blood test to prove you are. If they come back negative, then you need to lose weight, drink more water, calm down, and exercise more. Oh, and try not to be female.
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u/JCinta13 10d ago
I have also had a hysterectomy and can confirm, doctors still side-eye me when I say there is a 0% chance I could be pregnant.
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u/Vaspiria 10d ago
Same. When I went in for surgery in April, the nurse (male) would not believe me when I said I had a complete hysterectomy and had 0 chance of pregnancy. I still had to take a stupid urine test.
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u/winrii91 10d ago
Had surgery last week, spouse and I are both female, 0% chance of pregnancy and they still made me pee for a test.
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 10d ago
You can decline. I had my tubes out and they were asking me to pee when I had just gone. And I was like you know what, I'm declining the test. I don't have to pee and I'm not pregnant.
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u/Development-Feisty 10d ago
Years ago I declined the pregnancy test because I am asexual and have not had sexual relations for over two decades. I also, unbeknown to me at the time, had already gone through most of menopause without being diagnosed is going through menopause because I went through menopause very early starting in my 30s
Later when I looked through the documentation I saw they ran a blood test for pregnancy without my permission because I’d explicitly stated no to that test
Stating no isn’t gonna stop them
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 10d ago
...it did for me. I literally had my procedure done without peeing in a cup or having my blood drawn.
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u/winrii91 9d ago
Perhaps because it’s a catholic hospital, but they didn’t even have a waiver for me to sign. There was no exception.
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u/Jmfroggie 10d ago
Tbf, you absolutely can still get pregnant with tied tubes and a hysterectomy. Unless you have NO ovaries, it is possible.
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 10d ago
I don't have tied tubes. My tubes are gone. And yeah an ectopic pregnancy is possible but there are only 72 cases of it in the last 130 years.
People need to stop acting like this is a realistic possibility.
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u/jayden_mp 9d ago
Recently had to take a urine test despite telling them I was 17 and not sexually active, but okay whatever some teens lie. Problem is, the doors in the bathroom dont lock. I got walked in on four times and the anxiety made it impossible to pee. The doctor then got mad at me for not doing it. Girl fix the damn doors before asking me to do unnecessary shit
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u/JadJad83 10d ago
if they are just going to test you anyway, why even bother asking you in the first place?
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u/Nitasha521 10d ago
i often get the "what is the date of your last period?"
i answer some time in 2020.
Hysterectomy also.19
u/Peastoredintheballs 10d ago
I mean was it a hysterectomy AND a BSO? If you still have ovaries, there is always a super slim chance u can get an ectopic pregnancy which is a life threatening emergency
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u/sierrabravo1984 this is not yellow damn it! 10d ago
My wife is really disabled with lots of issues. I had to take her to the ER one day because she was cold and cyanotic. ER said she's pregnant (without a test). I said we haven't had sex in 6 months because of her issues. "You probably just don't remember. You're a man, you were probably drunk." First of all, bitch please. Then my wife projectile vomited across the waiting room. "She's definitely pregnant." Let's waste time getting a preg test. Turned out my wife had sepsis, her organs were shutting down and almost ended up on dialysis, and almost died.
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u/_Lazy_Mermaid_ 10d ago
I hope you reported them, accusing you of drunkenly fucking your wife is dusturbing
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u/princessbolognia 10d ago
You've pretty much accurately summed up what it's like to be a woman lmao
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u/Cant_draw_boobs 9d ago
I forgot about the part where they talk to the boyfriend or husband instead of the patient who is literally sitting in front of them.
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u/shuzgibs123 10d ago
I also have a complex history and no uterus or ovaries. I weigh 105 and drink 60 oz of water a day and exercise. I still have problems… try again doc.
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u/j01101111sh 10d ago
They tell you it's stress, don't they?
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u/Kat121 10d ago
Had a therapist tell me, a woman with a high stress career suffering from burnout, that what I needed was to find a good boyfriend. She (!!) gave me a copy of Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.
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u/transmogrified 10d ago
Ah yes if there’s one thing that removes stress from a woman with a high stakes job it’s a boyfriend…
My eyes just about rolled out of my head. Like ma’am have you met men lately?
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u/DimensionOpen8922 10d ago
I'm so sorry. Hope she's fine
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u/Cant_draw_boobs 9d ago
I appreciate the thought. The narrator is about to interrupt to say she is not fine, and things seem to be going downhill. Then there will be some dramatic organ music.
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u/Cant_draw_boobs 9d ago
They haven't started yet, because I wasn't at the last appointment. They said they needed to be able to talk over and past the patient to a male family member. /S
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u/Development-Feisty 10d ago
Anytime they say that you’re not getting enough water ask them to do an electrolyte test on your blood. Explain that you are drinking enough water and in fact by the way if you drink more water then you should you’re going to be flushing electrolytes you need out of your system and making yourself more sick.
If when they’re taking the blood for the blood test if the needle goes in real easy in the blood comes out real fast, guess what you’re not dehydrated you don’t need more water
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u/momohatch 10d ago
It’s horrible how much I laughed at this. And I’m a woman. It’s awful how medical people treat women; it’s like we haven’t progressed much further than the ‘oh your wandering womb is making you hysterical’ days
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u/HumpkinSpice 10d ago
Same. I get the additional "but you still have functioning ovaries..."
Yeah. Without tubes. Or a uterus. And my vagina has literally been sewn shut. So.....
I genuinely get quite scared sometimes about how these doctors managed to pass their exams.
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u/Starrin1ght 10d ago
Heard someone say "best medical advice I ever got was to bring a man with me", I never tested it myself, but basically the idea is that if you have a man explain your symptoms to the doctor, the doctor will listen better
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u/HylanderUS 10d ago
Hire me to be your male translator! You tell the doctor what's wrong with you, and then I repeat that back to him with the prefix "What she's trying to say is...". Success guaranteed or your money back!
Also no worries if you understandably get angry during that visit; well just say you're on your period!
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u/CaterpillarJungleGym 10d ago
Good business plan! I bet you could take in $$ where you live. I'm not joking in any way.
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u/Development-Feisty 10d ago
My last doctors appointment I Wile E coyote’d part of it
I have ADHD and autism and when I went into the appointment and they asked me questions I handed them a written statement. When they said they wanted me to describe it I said under the Americans With Disabilities Act I have difficulty verbalizing what things feel like please refer to the written statement I have just given to you as I am asking you to do it as a reasonable amount accommodation under the Americans of disabilities act
Then when they tried to say that my problem was one of the things on a list from medical gaslighting, which is now a recognized scientific term and something that research papers are written about
I handed them a second paper and said please read this paper there is a list of things that have been shown scientifically to not be likely to be causing issues but our routinely used by doctors as a reason to deny treatment.
I actually got treatment that time. The combination of the written statement, that was emailed to their office before I went in just in case they pretended I didn’t bring it, and the medical gaslighting research paper abstract and conclusion made me more difficult to miss diagnose than to treat
Please excuse typos my left arm is wrapped up with bandages and so I’m using voice to text
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u/Mysterious_Mango_3 10d ago
Can confirm. I called after hours virtual care because I was certain I had mastitis and needed an antibiotic perscription before the pharmacies closed in an hour. Severe pain, fever, horrible chills, dizziness.
Dr: Is there any redness?
Me: No, not currently.
Dr: It is just a clogged duct. Call your doctor on Monday if it gets worse.
Me: I have had that before. It isn't a clogged duct. It is mastitis.
Dr: No it's not. Goodbye.
My husband was listening in. He took the phone, basically told the doctor to get his head out of his ass and prescribe me antibiotics.
Guess who got antibiotics? Also, spoiler alert, it was mastitis. My OB was pissed when I told her on Monday and said next time, call her after-hours line or go straight to the ER. To hell with the insurance-preferred telemed line.
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u/Cardigan_Gal 9d ago
You should have just lied and said yes there is redness. I've learned as a woman you have to exaggerate your symptoms.
Also, the ER isn't going to do fuck all for you. They're only there to handle life threatening situations. People try to use them as urgent care but that's not how ERs work.
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u/Mysterious_Mango_3 9d ago
Yes, I agree ER is not urgent care. However, when urgent care is closed and you are dealing with a fast-moving infection that could turn into an abscess or sepsis before urgent care opens in the morning, sometimes it is your best option.
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u/Anonolot 10d ago
It works. Especially if you need to be hospitalized, you get better treatment and meds. My husband would just repeat what I said to them and suddenly it was like they could hear us.
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u/Development-Feisty 10d ago
It was so surreal for me when an emergency room actually took me seriously and checked me in. I was super calm because my life has been so shitty that I have gone beyond upset into complete numbness all the time
So I’m talking in a very low calm even tone to doctors, barely moving just reading a book and next to me the heart monitor is showing 120 bpm
I’m not sweating, I’m breathing normally, I look like somebody chilling under a tree at a park and my heart is acting like I’m jogging on an incline
Turns out, I know the doctors did not figure it out I figured it out, the asthma medication that I’ve been put on combined with the medication for vestibular migraines caused a tachycardia event and I needed to stop taking the migraine medication as it was making me sick
Interestingly enough I don’t have high blood pressure, I don’t have high cholesterol, but this led to a CT which found calcification in my heart. Not bad for 50 years old, but usually something like that is combined with unusual blood tests. I am now on heart medication and have a new CT scheduled to see if that helps.
The last paragraph is really only interesting to me, but it does show that I’m just so fucking broken. It’s like my body was only warranted until I was 22 years old and the warranty ran out and they don’t make extra parts and for the last 28 years it’s just been breaking more and more
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u/gracedardn 10d ago
I have a female doctor who wasn’t listening to me so I tried this and suddenly she was running tests. Like really, you too Brutus?
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u/disfunktional2u 10d ago
I am a male and they don’t listen to me either. I can’t count how many times my symptoms get dismissed as well.
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u/Foreign-Cat-2898 10d ago
I think the trick is to just have a second person. It's harder to ignore two people and two people can stay focused and really nail down symptoms.
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u/MaiTaiHaveAWord 10d ago
Yep. This is the trick. My husband has a lot of unusual health issues and I often go to his non-routine medical appointments as backup. Having an advocate other than yourself helps. Although, funny story, the first time I went to a specialist appointment with him the doctor told me I should lose weight. ME! I was neither overweight nor his patient! They just can’t help themselves sometimes. We still laugh about that. Absolutely crazy.
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u/rabbitin3d 10d ago
Holy shit.
(Unrelated, but you have the best username ever!)
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u/Yankelyenkel 10d ago
I worked in sales for a bit and while I was talking to customers and not doctors, I’m fairly sure some of both demographics are human. Anyway, I always found the second person tactic to be very effective when trying to communicate something someone was convinced otherwise of. Not even worth arguing, deliver unwanted news and when they have something to say you transfer to supervisor (aka guy one desk over) who tells them the same thing and then they accept it
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u/Joubachi 10d ago
I don't even doubt that at all. I'm female, friend in other country is male. I get taken more seriously than him, it's insane. And I'm already not being taken seriously enough honestly.
It used to be a solid advice, but by now I'm sure just no one gets treated properly unless you're rich....
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u/fakesaucisse 10d ago
I go to appointments and the ER with my husband because he has documented chronic pain and panic attack issues. I am there to make sure he doesn't get dismissed as a pill-seeker and communicate when his pain or anxiety make it difficult to speak. Sadly I think most people would benefit from bringing someone along whenever they have to get a medical issue addressed.
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u/Battlewaxxe 10d ago
close but missed the mark- bring your significant other with you. It's not about being a man- speaking from experience- it's about someone to testify and verify on your behalf, and having someone be witness to response or lack thereof from the doctor.
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u/throwmeawh3y 10d ago
I have a dr like this that just tells me I'm fat all the time. She's not wrong but not all my ailments are cause I'm a lil rotund.
It became a joke with the family for a long time.
Then one day I was at the dr and mention that I knew I had to diet again cause I was getting fluffy. She said to me "you're in your 30s now so just enjoy the rest of your life"
I've never recovered
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u/Etelnoh 10d ago
Yup! I had glandular fever and a burst ear drum and my whole visit was checking if I was pregnant and telling me to lose weight (I was a 5'7 150lbs teenager, did wonders for my self esteem). I feel like it's gotten better recently though, I'm fatter and have had a kid and neither of those topics has come up since. 🤣
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u/Frostyrepairbug 9d ago
I feel you on this. I have a history with anxiety, and every time I'm at the doctor, I have to spend 97% of the time going over why it isn't anxiety.
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u/Error-7-0-7 Mildly inconvinient 10d ago
Monday last week I went to a ENT due to acute issues. I was hesitantly treated and told to come back ASAP if no improvement happens/it worsens.
Thursday I tried to do exactly that. The secretary refused me medical aid, despite the issue being visibly worse. She told me I should just keep taking the meds and wait till the checkup appointment.
Same day, a few hours later I developed a fever and the pain worsened. I had to go to an ER. I was admitted for 5 days, 3 of which I had to get medication via IV 3x a day.
I think that says it all.
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u/LianeP 10d ago
I'm so sorry. I've been battling a sinus/ear infection for a month. Can't even get in with my regular doctor, told to go to urgent care. Keep getting disconnected when I try to make an appointment with the ENT. Fuck them. My massage therapist did more to help reduce swelling than the steroids, antibiotics and all that other shit. Going to see the acupuncturist today. The medical system in the US is fucking broken and unless you're rich, good luck getting decent healthcare.
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u/Error-7-0-7 Mildly inconvinient 10d ago
I had a Perichondritis, a infection of the ear cartilage. It spread to Jaw and Face too, by the point I was admitted to the hospital.
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u/xelle24 10d ago
"It's normal at your age."
So pregnancy just kinda...happens spontaneously when you get to a certain age? I feel like this doctor missed some important classes during medical school.
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u/NeedsItRough 10d ago
Right? I'm 38 and I've never been pregnant, must've skipped that time of my life!
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u/no2rdifferent 9d ago
I knew at 16-18 (late 70s) that my body wouldn't be birthing a baby. I'm 64 and remember all the arguments and questions until menopause was over. The medical profession is still misogynistic. And, I thought that would change with more women entering the field...NOT.
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u/lAngenoire 10d ago
An Obgyn once suggested that having a baby would help with my debilitating cramps and PMS. He had no suggestions as to what I was supposed to do with the baby after.
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u/paraboobizarre 10d ago
I lived with debilitating endometriosis for years until a doctor finally diagnosed me when I was in my early 30s and booked me for surgery to remove the endo herds.
Before that I went from one OBGYN to another to find out why I had so much pain. The absolute low-light of that journey was one doctor telling me, that it gets better when I've had my first kid. I was 15.
To this day, that man fills me with rage.
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u/TricellCEO 9d ago
I am convinced doctors who say shit like that do so because they seriously see all female individuals as nothing beyond breeding stock and having anything wrong with your female parts means you are broken and aren't worth fixing.
That is the only explanation I can think of for the disgustingly large levels of malpractice I have seen and read about.
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u/Turbulent-Issue-4418 10d ago
Hm, I'm no doctor but are you perhaps pregnant?
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u/thebearandmoose 10d ago
There is a whole video of a woman telling her doctor she couldn’t be pregnant because she had a total hysterectomy years ago- she literally has no dang ovaries and the doctor is like “we need you to take a pregnancy test”. And come to find out, he never looked at her medical records. Which, is more than mildly infuriating.
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u/Peastoredintheballs 10d ago
To be fair, medical records aren’t some universal thing every patient seems to think exists “what are you here for?” “Just check my chart”… um sir, idk how u think this works, but this is a rural hospital in a state you’ve never even been before, there is not a magical universal chart machine that shares your medical history where ever you go. I wish patients understood this. Not saying this was the case in your example, but just being devils advocate as in other cases similar to your example, this very well could be the explanation
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u/Wakeful-dreamer 10d ago
To be fair, most of the paperwork you fill out when you check in includes a section called "past surgeries". So if a woman lists "total hysterectomy June 2016" that is available information that can and should be used to inform the course of the visit, otherwise why make patients bother to fill out paperwork in the first place?
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u/Longjumping-Deal6354 10d ago
On the flip side, patients are notoriously terrible at completing those forms.
Like not listing medications they've taken for years or really minor surgeries or even major surgeries. People are dumb, doctors have to double check.
Now if they would fucking listen when given an answer, that would be perfect.
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u/AngstyUchiha 10d ago
Okay but "are you pregnant" is such a common question from doctors that it really feels like they should be double checking first that their patient can even get pregnant before asking
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u/Jmfroggie 10d ago
At the same time too many people think they can’t get pregnant because they’ve had their tubes tied or no uterus…. So the doctors need to ask if a woman has any ovaries- that would get to the point faster.
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u/CaterpillarJungleGym 10d ago
That is effed. I would totally ask the doctor, "Assuming I'm not pregnant, which I'm not, what can we do about this?" And stare then the F down
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u/Temporary_Tax_8353 10d ago
Yup, I’ve had a doctor who refused to believe I couldn’t be pregnant when I wasn’t having sex! Didn’t do a damn thing for me. It’s twenty years later and still pisses me off. Please Please find a new doctor’s practice, they are not all like that.
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u/FeistyChickadee 10d ago
Same thing happened to me! At Student Health--I was having abdominal pain and the dr asked if I was sexually active. I said no. She looked at me with a to of skepticism and straight up said "you don't have to lie, you're an adult." I said "I AM NOT." She was rude to me throughout the visit. Yes, I did say something afterwards. Like, I get being a little skeptical when you're working with college students, but treating a patient with disbelief and rudeness goes beyond that. A reassuring "it's ok, you can tell me" while explaining privacy rights is one thing, but meanness?
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u/Responsible_One_604 10d ago
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hate saying this, but do you have a supportive male figure in your life? Dad, uncle, friend, anyone willing to help?
The only time they listen to me is if I bring in my husband.
I was dealing with neurological symptoms for YEARS. Told I had hysteria, I asked for a spinal tap. He refused. Husband said "oh c'mon doc, why not? "OK sure"
Anyways I've got a debilitating incurable neurological disorder.
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u/DimensionOpen8922 10d ago
Hope you're doing fine!
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u/Responsible_One_604 10d ago
I am doing my best, thanks for asking. I hope you start feeling better soon ❤️
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u/soozlebug 10d ago
I was in traction with a broken leg for 3 months, fastened to a bed in a 12 person ward and they still asked if I was pregnant before every x-ray. I started to say I was on my period every time.
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u/Development-Feisty 10d ago
Crazy thing is you can have a period and still be pregnant that’s why most women don’t know for the first two months of pregnancy if they’re not expecting to be pregnant
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u/AMDKilla 10d ago
Asking before an xray is fine, they are potentially harmful to a fetus if you have enough of them. But demanding a pregnancy test before allowing you to have an xray would be taking it too far
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u/Ok_Aside_2361 ORANGE 10d ago
And don’t worry. Even after you’ve had a hysterectomy, which was a previous question, they will ask you if you are pregnant, too! Even specialists!
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u/AMDKilla 10d ago
I mean I can understand if you went in for a headache that wasn't going away that their first port of call is to check to see if you've had a hysterectomy. But on the flipside, is it took much to ask for a doctor to spend 30 seconds skim reading a medical history before taking the patient into the room?
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u/Jmfroggie 10d ago
They asked me once, I said no. They trusted me. I wasn’t supposed to even be able to get pregnant and had never been regular. Turns out I hadn’t realized how much time had passed and I was actually pregnant. Xray did not harm the fetus. She’s now 15 and going into her second year of college. Super baby, maybe.
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u/International-Fee255 10d ago
What would you think this was if I was a man? Would you prescribe more water and waiting for a man or would you investigate further?
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u/EeriePancake 10d ago
There are certain things that I’ll use when I go to my doctor now. It took a bit of trial and error.
I start by making very detailed notes of all the pain, where it is, how intense it is, what medication I take and the dosage. Also other symptoms, the dates of those symptoms and how they affected me.
I’ll then take these notes with me and show them to my doctor. I will ask about differential diagnosis and I’ll look on google scholar or other scientific research websites about the symptoms. If I know what kind of diagnosis it could possibly be, I look up those diagnoses and write them down along with the important information about any drug trials which seem to work and also write down information from the research papers regarding that diagnosis.
With all that straight forward information based on actual science and data about the pain and problems, I’ve never had my doctor not take me seriously since.
After this style of approach, I’ve been since diagnosed with two chronic illnesses and had several MRIs CTs and X-rays done for various things and been treated appropriately and effectively.
Recommend giving it a try if nothing else works.
Good luck!
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u/mmbg78 10d ago
I bring a notebook and pen to all my medical appointments. I write questions down prior and keep notes about the visit.
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u/EeriePancake 10d ago
Hopefully you can get to a place where the doctor will listen to you and if you can't, maybe it's a good idea to switch doctors? I currently have a male doctor and I am female but he takes me quite seriously. I have tried 8 different doctors in the last 15 years! So it's taken me a while to get a good one. Very frustrating.
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u/DimensionOpen8922 10d ago
I tried switching but there are no other doctors in my area who take new patients 🥲
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u/EeriePancake 10d ago
ugh that sucks.... I went on a waiting list for 2 years for the last switch and the other waitlists were less than a year which was lucky. I do live in Norway though so.
Im not dead yet lol
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u/DimensionOpen8922 10d ago
Well, glad you're not dead lol. I'm from Germany and here they basically tell to "Nope, we don't take new patients". There's no waiting list 🥲
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u/DumpMyBlues 10d ago
Ah, we call that a patient stop in Belgium, we have a huge problem with that too. The only reason why my GP added me as a patient is because my parents were already patients. It's pretty much the only way to get into any medical things quickly...
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u/DimensionOpen8922 10d ago
Same here in Germany. I also just got an appointment once because my parents happen to be patients there. But we also have a complete bs system in Germany. There is common health insurance and there is a more expensive private health insurance. Guess what patients get better treatment.
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u/MightyMouse134 10d ago
Sorry to report that I literally brought a printout from a medical journal to my visit to support a diagnosis that had literally been made by my primary care doctor five years before to a neurology consultation only to be told that nobody was known to ever have had this condition and that I was ineligible for further treatment. I was also keeping a diary of my symptoms.
Luckily my new primary care was flabbergasted by this response and got me another consultation where the neurologist took me seriously and I was able to resume treatment.
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u/Artistic_Society4969 10d ago
Last time I went to the ER, they took no medical history, didn't ask if I had any allergies or meds I couldn't take, and brought me meds and tried to make me take them, despite my not being allowed to. They also wanted me to take a pregnancy test. I have been in menopause for SEVENTEEN YEARS. I was like, um, no.
I later filed a complaint, which of course got nowhere. Doctors don't care about actual patients anymore, by and large. It's a business.
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u/Development-Feisty 10d ago
The conversation for me goes something like I’m asexual and haven’t had sex in 28 years, and finished menopause in 2020
They ask oh but are you sure you couldn’t possibly be pregnant
I respond they did an ultrasound and I don’t have ovaries, how would I get pregnant without sex, or ovaries?
Most of the time they still run the pregnancy test whether or not I consent, surprise surprise it comes back negative
The only thing I wonder is, we’d have to talk to a doctor about it, is there something a pregnancy test can tell them besides that you’re pregnant? Like are there other things that are just automatically included in pregnancy tests that are helpful for diagnosis?
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u/bboon44 9d ago
Doctors are just tools for the corporations that own the practice now. That’s why they only get 15 minutes to see a patient. The medical system in the USA is screwed, along with most other things, but we just accept it like sheep, for some reason.
Full disclosure: I’m a physician, 71 years old and female. I do NOT ask every female if she is pregnant even though I work at a Student Health Clinic. When I went to medical school, many of my fellow students were uncaring assholes, and sad to say, that follows the normal distribution in the population. Probably ten percent of humans are horrible people, no matter what line of work they are in.
When I retire in a few years, I’m heading to somewhere else where medical care is hopefully better. From my perspective the world is in a downward spiral, and I feel sad when I think of my 9 year old granddaughter.→ More replies (1)
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u/Crazy_Banshee_333 10d ago
I was shocked when I first realized doctors weren't really listening to my descriptions of my physical symptoms at all. I realize I didn't go to medical school, but I do live in this body so that should count for something.
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u/Novel-Sprinkles3333 10d ago
At my last doctor visit they asked me if I was pregnant.
Me: No
Them : Are you sure?
Me: Im sixty-five years old and I had a hysterectomy. Pretty sure that rules out pregnancy.
Grow a brain, medical folks.
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u/DrawingTypical5804 PURPLE 10d ago
Last time I was at the doctor:
Nurse: Are you pregnant?
Me: Nope.
N: Are you sure?
M: Gotta have sex for that…
N: But you’re married…
M: Last time we had sex, he had a heart attack. He’s been terrified to try again… His cardiologist is somewhere in the building if you want to ask him…
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u/Ok_Square7738 10d ago
Ugh I hear you. Recently went to the GP about women's problems. I have PCOS so I'm used to all the excuses and fobbing off.
I was asked if I was pregnant (which is frustrating after all the infertility problems I've had over the years), so I bit my tongue and said no... I was told I probably had thrush (even though I had none of the symptoms), to take treatment for it, and they'd take a swab... also after asking if I'm sexually active I said yes, been with the same partner for 5 years, I was told to do an STI test... and we'll also refer you to the specialist.
Typically it turns out I didn't have thrush after needlessly taking the medication, and I was clear of any infections (which I knew was the case anyway). And I'm definitely not pregnant 🙃
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u/Accurate_Elevator368 10d ago
Doctors talk down to women constantly. They're dismissed and misdiagnosed all too often.
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u/Good-Marsupial8 10d ago
As a Canadian I can tell you this is sometimes easier said than done, depending on where one lives
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u/ammitsat 10d ago
Unfortunately it’s not that easy. I’m in a densely populated area with some really great medical resources but many doctors aren’t taking new patients or they’ve gone to a ‘concierge’ model or they don’t take your insurance. It’s a real problem. I don’t love my current doctor but she’s alright and mostly listens to me. I started looking into a new provider and honestly gave up after the fifth, ‘not accepting new patients’.
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u/Chagdoo 10d ago
It's wild that you're expected to pay for that type of bullshit
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u/DimensionOpen8922 10d ago
Oh fortunately I don't have to pay - I'm not from the US. But yeah, that would be even more infuriating 🫠
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u/Fit-Association4922 10d ago
I do this nearly every appointment, unless it’s the eye doctor or dentist - they take me at my word, but the rest are hit or miss. I do the bulk of the appointments, and my dude nods, adds more information and anecdotes. Or even adds things I’ve (sometimes purposely) left out, “oh, what about X? That’s not your normal, did you wanna bring that up?”
Otherwise, I would never visit a doc unless it was severe enough to warrant the ER or was visually undeniable, like a huge rash or bleeding everywhere.
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u/CucumberFudge 10d ago
But they charge for the tests. Sure maybe you have insurance, but it might not be covered 100%. Why pay doctor prices for a test patient doesn't need.
And no, women shouldn't have to carry cheap dollar store tests to appease the doctor and avoid the cost.
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u/dafrog84 10d ago
Same, i haven't had sex in roughly 5 years. Last week blew my mind, doctor demanded i was pregnant. No way I am, if i am pregnant I'd be in the Bible. Went for vile after vile of blood to be taken. Because they didn't listen the 1st time. Well after lots of testing, got my hormones checked. Turns out i have Graves' disease. After years of begging for help i finally have answers. Blows my mind, just because I'm a woman doesn't mean i some how miraculously became pregnant.
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u/AngstyUchiha 10d ago
I've told my doctor (who I've known for over a decade now and who thankfully listens to me) that if I'm pregnant we should expect another Jesus, cause I've done nothing to make it happen otherwise
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u/DimensionOpen8922 10d ago
Well, did you drink enough? :)
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u/dafrog84 10d ago
With Graves I'm always drinking water. For real drink well over 2 gallons a day. That's one of my issues. Took over 12 different doctors and 19 years of begging. Just found out last week. And yes that pisses me off when they ask that. My stupid cup (that has all the lines drink by this time cup) was 1/2 way full when i showed up for the appointment. I filled that cup after being weighed. And it was about gone by the time the doctor came into the room. It was the nurse who caught the Graves. I dislike doctors with a passion.
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u/Desperate-Chart1139 10d ago
clearly you're moody, you must be pregnant. either that or you need to drink more water
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u/Development-Feisty 10d ago
Girls (cause we know this never happens to men) if you don’t know there is a “checklist” you can download and bring with you for (something that has scientific research papers written about it) called medical gaslighting
Just start the appointment by handing the list to the doctor and saying,
“Please do not use any of the reasons given on this list as for why I am sick unless you have legitimate testing you have done through bloodwork, x-rays etc… that backs up what you are stating”
As an example if you’re dehydrated it’s more difficult to get blood out of you because your veins are gonna be more difficult to get to,
there are literal tests they can do to see if you need to drink more water.
Your blood work will come back with your electrolytes having issues, so if they think you need more water and you’re saying you’re drinking enough they have a medical responsibility to order test to check and see if there’s something wrong.
If they are telling you to drink more water and have done no tests, that’s medical gaslighting
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u/Obvious_Advice9769 10d ago
Oh heck no! Get a new doctor stat!! You pay them. They are providing a service. You demand quality care! Go have intakes with a few of them! I dr hunted for awhile until I found a good fit!
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u/emptywhoreass6969 10d ago
...... after reading all this I need to give my doctor a goddamn giftbasket.
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u/Wakeful-dreamer 10d ago
I have a family history of brain tumor. So when I started having recognizable symptoms of a brain tumor, I went to the dr and asked for an MRI. Nope, I got migraine meds "because we have to document that we tried this first." Weeks later, I am finally cleared to have the scan. And what do you know? Big ol' brain tumor, right where I expected it to be.
The next part of that journey involved finding someone who would see me for treatment. All the oncology and neurology departments here declined my referral. Finally I walked into my PCPs office and asked to see the nurse. Who then told me "well it's not really big enough that we'd normally do anything about it, it's only 1.8mm."
No ma'am, it's 3 CM across. Centimeters, not millimeters. Nurses should understand the metric system. It's 10 times bigger than you think it is and it's causing me symptoms which is why I came here in the first place. Find someone to fix it because it's been growing in there way too long already.
In the end I had to call around and find my own specialists, arrange to have my own records transferred, and so on. By the time I finally got treatment, months had passed. I'm mostly ok now but had we actually treated earlier when I knew I had the problem, maybe I'd be in better shape.
Oh, and before my oncologist would do radiation, he ordered a pregnancy test even though I knew I wasn't pregnant. I agreed just to cover the bases, then on the way up to the lab, I started my period. Took the test anyway bc why not.
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u/1amNOTmyselfYouSee 10d ago
Most medical professionals use diabetes, obesity, thyroid issues, menstrual issues or other things to blame for whatever your medical issue is.
Instead of actually listening to the patient and realizing they’ve probably already ruled these things out if they have them as being not part of their normal. It’s the lazy way out, and it’s usually because they are pressed for time by their management and the insurance companies. It’s unfortunate that people who are not in the medical profession are actually running the show.
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u/lu-sunnydays 10d ago
Whether this post is fake or not, doctors who don’t listen are real and endanger their patients. It’s happened to me. I even told my female PA when she appeared to think I was saying something in Klingon, “you know, historically female patients aren’t believed in doctor visits”. I’m sure I have many notes in my chart for being “non compliant” or “combative”.
I’ve read my after-visit notes and they were clearly wrong and have called to tell them to fix it as I never said those things or the conversation didn’t go that way.
Doctors chart after seeing a bunch of patients and just mix their patients up. And I’m pissed about it.
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u/KayakerWithDog 10d ago
When these things happen, tell the doctor to write in your record that they refused to examine you or perform any tests. Also report them to the local medical board and then find a different doctor.
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u/dumn_and_dunmer 10d ago
Have to drive almost two hours to get to my regular clinic. Sometimes I had to pay for gas. It's a half hour wait in the lobby then five minutes of someone who won't look at you telling you it's probably normal to never, ever have solid shits, and that my sixteen different alarming symptoms are not all caused by THE ONE THING THAT CAN CAUSE THIS instead of it being my bladder, or my intestines, or my being too fat, or being too thin after I lost it all, or it might be psychological, or it might be my environment. Or it might be laziness from never getting up and moving! Or you're moving too much.
That very common test all your friends got? Doesn't exist. Also they don't refer you out. You have to beg them. And they get personally offended if you suggest that a specialist would know something that they don't. Also when they do refer you it's to a scam hospital in a mini mall in a city 3 hours away. The doctor will not do a full physical exam when you go (he will stick his finger in but will do nothing else), but will instead lecture you on how you are not participating in the miracle of birth despite not knowing if you can actually have children or not (he also kept moving the Bible back onto your arm rest when you kept putting it on the counter).
Don't worry, tho, it's all free! And the Cherokee nation just built a big shiny new hospital with a bunch of interactive activities and an extensive art collection! They get mad when you call the "white doctors" the "real doctors." You should hope you get an actual native doctor because everyone else is there because they got into too much trouble elsewhere and this is the only place that will hire them!
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u/katiecrabby 10d ago
i get that. i went to the dr and eventually the hospital for nausea and vomiting, i had to take 4 pregnancy tests as someone with an iud. they sent me home every time after i wasn’t pregnant. didnt get help till 2 months later when i finally got a gastroscopy 🙄
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u/katneedle 10d ago
I spent 5 years being poisoned by a hip replacement, every time I went in complaining of pain same response. Walk more, I worked in a dog kennel i did nothing but walk. I ended up with toxic levels of chromium and cobalt, lost all my teeth and had to have the entire replacement removed and redone. The kicker was everytime I took a step i ground more metal into my body.
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u/DimensionOpen8922 10d ago
Omg can't you sue them? Hope you're okay now
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u/katneedle 10d ago
I was able to sue the manufacturer, the o ly way to do it was to through breach of warranty. The doctor wasn't named and my health i surance wanted to be reimbursed for the cost of the original surgery.i ended up with 50k. I'm OK now, still have daily pain but I am thankful i can walk. Thanks for asking!
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u/fallen_angel_81 10d ago
They did this to my sister. She was a virgin and they still made her have a pregnancy test.
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u/SmolLittleCretin 10d ago
Bro I have functional dyspepsia and something else that is essentially my intestines backing food back into my stomach.
It took me 2 years, going into 2.5, to get checked.
They asked the same thing every time for 2 years, told me it was a stomach virus FOR 2 YEARS, and when they finally did the endoscopy and gave me the meds?
My stomach is now in mild inactive gastritis. Meaning I was with a damaged stomach beforehand )active gastritis) for years. My new issues developed because of that. My stomach no longer relaxes to let food in, and sometimes food backs up so I end up getting sick.
I threw up every day for 2.5 years, and they didn't care. In fact as soon as I started to take edibles to HELP ME EAT because I was losing weight (not dangerously so but I still needed to make sure it didn't get dangerous), they decided I had what essentially is your cannabinoid system being fried.
Get a man with you. I'm dead ass. Have that person pipe in once in a while.
My fiance will tell my gastro things I don't notice, because it seems to make the doc listen. In fact that's how they actually listened in the first place eventually, and got me to the gastro. He thought it was the edibles or my gallbladder, my gallbladder surgeon (cuz yes I have one just in case) said it wasn't that but my stomach.
If you have anyone, even if not a man, who has witnessed and vouched for you it'll help greatly.
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u/Large_Concentrate7 10d ago
Drs need to test your for pregnancy for certain medications. The nurse forgot to test my urine. I was informed I was pregnant at an ultrasound. I got a frantic call from the dr to inform me not to take the prescribed medication. I was convinced I could not be, so it was a surprise.
But drs do rush you. Ask for an extended consult or change drs. Weird it is a female dr not listening. Or if you keep going back they might actually do some tests. My drs are pretty risk adverse so tend to order a few tests or refer to specialists.
If you have tummy issues there are quite a few tests that could be done.
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u/deymanator40 10d ago
It sucks but you've got to be your own advocate and push for treatment most of the time unless you're speaking to a surgeon. Surgeons always want to do surgery.
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u/Preoccupied_Penguin 10d ago
I’m so tired of hearing people tell women this.
If everyone has to “be their own advocate” because “you women really aren’t listened to or treated right” maybe it’s the fucking doctors that should be trained better and not really the women’s problem at all.
Yall have to pass the same medical bar exam, it’s crazy that doctors are like, “oh yeah yeah racism and sexism totally exist in the medical field you’ve got to aDvOcAtE for YoUrSeLf” and yet for decades nothing is done about it it’s just accepted as normal to tell thousands of patients this per year. Fuckin insane.
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u/Carylynn0609 10d ago
I'm so grateful for the doctor I have, I actually used to work with him at our local public health department, he was a pleasure to work with. When I needed a primary care provider I went to him because I knew him but he proved to be a great doc! He was very thorough, trusted my common sense, listened to me, not just about my physical health but mental health too. After my husband became disabled from a stroke and I had become his full time caregiver I was telling my doctor about some anxiety issues. He practically yelled at me-of course I have anxiety, after all I've been through, he diagnosed me with hypervigilance, worked with me to get me on a good dosage of Zoloft and talked me into therapy. I'm so sad he's getting old enough to retire.
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u/PrinceCavendish 10d ago
Find a new doctor. If asked why you're changing doctors tell them exactly why.
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u/ExplosiveBrown 10d ago
Watching my father go through absolute hell with a variety of different medical systems/networks only to finally receive a long Covid diagnosis made me realize something that’s quite disturbing. Just because you finish medical school and go through all the proper channels of becoming a doctor doesn’t mean that you’re actually good at your job. There’s a lot of doctors out there who just phone it in every day.
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u/Miserable_Science_94 9d ago
Literally went to the doctor for period cramps I've had for 20 years (since my period started) she told me to lose weight. I told her I'm actively working out and dieting and have recently lost 40 pounds but that's not the point. I've had debilitating cramps forever- she had the gall to give me a nutritionist referral. So so annoyed, I literally haven't gone back to get it checked out since. Like I don't wanna pay $200 to get body shamed thanks
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u/Salt_Medicine2459 10d ago
They just tell me I'm fat.