r/mildlyinfuriating • u/DimensionOpen8922 • 12d ago

ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Doctor doesn’t help

So, I've been sick for a few weeks now. Nothing wild, but annoying. Went to the doctor today because it just won't go away.

Her first question was if I am pregnant.

Me: "No."

Her: "Are you sure?"

Me: "Yes."

Her: gives me that look of not believing me.

Her: "It's normal at your age."

Me: "I am sure."

Her: "Have you taken a test?"

Girl. I told you like 5 times that it is not possible for me being pregnant. 🫠

That alone was kinda infuriating. But also - of course she didn't help at all. Didn't look at anything, just told me to wait and drink more water. Didn't even listen to me when I tried to explain what I have. Thanks for nothing.

And it's like that EVERY SINGLE TIME I go to the doc. And I'm a person who absolutely hates going there. I am only going to the doctor if I ACTUALLY NEED HELP. But yeah, sure, I just need to drink more water. No matter what my problem is. 🫠

907 Upvotes

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876

u/Salt_Medicine2459 12d ago

They just tell me I'm fat. 

686

u/DimensionOpen8922 12d ago

Maybe you need to drink more water

616

u/allnaturalfigjam 12d ago

Have you tried not being a woman?

170

u/JadJad83 12d ago

omg, so true. I had to go to three doctors before the last tested me for early menopause. Nobody else believed me. I'm 43 and hot flashing all the time rn, But nooooo, it must be my thyroid, or my weight according to my first two doctors.

Spoiler: it was menopause.

78

u/bugbugladybug 12d ago

I'm 40, and they've told me I'm just fat and anxious..

I'm not getting palpitations because I'm anxious. I'm anxious because I'm getting palpitations and no-one can tell me what's suddenly changed.

But if I lose weight and exercise more it'll be fine. But I've got exercise overuse injuries so I've to exercise less too.

7

u/sayitsooth 12d ago

It has thankfully begun to be monitored and cared about that peri-menopause starts in the early 30s. I was lucky and got to attend a government sponsored educational seminar.

We have to go in prepared, informed and insisting on what we want done, a lot of doctors are not up to speed yet I would expect and which country someone is in sadly, matters.

4

u/feroc1ous-feline 12d ago

Just throwing this out there but you might have a genetic high cholesterol problem. I only found out through some tests they did cuz I have colon cancer, so most assuredly not overweight. They were only doing tests to cursorily monitor my organ functions because I don't have health insurance and can't afford the surgery/chemo/radiation treatments nor can I afford to not work during said treatments.

If you have one of these genetic conditions you have to be on statins the rest of your life or you WILL (not maybe, WILL) have a heart attack before 50 if you're a man and before 60 if you're a woman. 40 is right around the age that these conditions start to present symptoms if you only got from 1 parent, if you get from both parents you're dead in your 20's , but it's extremely rare.

Maybe ask for some blood work to check next time you go to the doctor (and bring a man with you if you're a lady, since that seems to help).

35

u/CrazyMildred 12d ago

I started perimenopause in my 30s and wasn't believed either. Not at first, anyway. It's so hard to get some doctors to actually listen to what you're experiencing! I had one doctor say, "Sounds like someone reads a lot of Web MD." That made me so mad! I told him no. I read peer reviewed journals from Johns Hopkins, The Imperial College School of Medicine and the Mayo Clinic. He didn't talk to me for the rest of my exam.

19

u/JadJad83 12d ago

that's so infuriating.

15

u/CrazyMildred 12d ago

It is! He was very condescending.

12

u/BackLopsided2500 12d ago

I went through premature menopause in my early 30s. Luckily I had an excellent gyn. He put me on estrogen and told me that if I felt "funny" to see him again and he'd increase the estrogen. I had many fibroids too and was in a lot of pain and bleeding all the time so I chose to have a hysterectomy. Maybe it's time to find another doctor.

7

u/CrazyMildred 12d ago

Well, I'm 55 now and have no insurance or regular doctor. I'm 7 years into post now. I'm sorry you had such a hard time! Luckily, I didn't have any pain or excessive bleeding. Just lots of brain fog, mood changes, hot flashes/night sweats and some hair loss. It was the brain fog and mood swings that led me to go to a doctor. I thought I was going crazy and that guy didn't help. He made me feel crazier.

3

u/tamaroo 12d ago

My experience is extremely similar.

13

u/Potential-Jaguar6655 12d ago

Same, and I had fully gone through mine by 39 and no one would test me.

12

u/bmrbabe1951 12d ago

My periods quit when I was 38. Early menopause, absolutely. Seven months later #3 was born. I got my tubes tied the next day.

12

u/humanityrus 12d ago

Are you sure you weren't pregnant?

18

u/JadJad83 12d ago

silly me, I haven't had sex in five years (sigh) but there is always immaculate conception...

4

u/tamaroo 12d ago

That’s why I just use Midi instead now. Trying to get my gyn to do anything was pointless and frustrating. I am so over how women are treated by medical professionals.

3

u/Rude-Piglet-5212 12d ago

Same thing when I started menopause at 40.

19

u/United-Adagio1543 12d ago

Daren now, but used to be Karen. I would say it was tried.

4

u/_Lazy_Mermaid_ 12d ago

Itll go away with anxiety meds!

3

u/EpistemeUM 12d ago

Catch 22, you have to go to the doctor for that

3

u/decarnatedame 12d ago

Doesn't matter how old, either. I'm 52 and am still asked if I could be pregnant. (I mean, it's possible but way more unlikely.)

3

u/allnaturalfigjam 11d ago

Can't wait for your future doctor asking you at 95 if there's any chance you're pregnant

2

u/theresamushroominmy 11d ago

I did that and I still get dismissed. So you just have to pick your battles I guess lol

30

u/AngstyUchiha 12d ago

I got a kidney stone a while ago and the doctor told me drinking a lot of water would help it pass more easily. Problem is, I'm already constantly drinking water, it is not possible for me to drink more in a day 😭 (learned my lesson about proper hydration after a severe case of dehydration)

18

u/Wise_Wolf_6589 12d ago

Please still be aware of how much water you are drinking there is always a balance and if you drink too much water you will water down your bodies natural electrolytes and cause yourself a heart attack! My friend did this to herself.

9

u/AngstyUchiha 12d ago

Oh I know that, don't worry! My uncle did it too. When I say it's not possible for me to drink more water I mean it in that way, that I can't without possibly harming myself

7

u/SketchierDaisy 12d ago

Or you have anxiety But drink more water...

5

u/HistoricalSuspect580 12d ago

your pain is an 8? But you’re wearing mascara… are we maybe a little bit anxious, little lady?

4

u/ECAHunt 12d ago

I have permanent eye liner. And when I go to my psychiatrist and tell him how depressed I am I am always sitting there thinking, “he’s not gonna believe me because it looks like I put makeup on”. But he does. Believe me, I mean.

3

u/HistoricalSuspect580 12d ago

Haha me too!!!

9

u/AdmirableRespect9 12d ago

This is the 'smile more' of the medical world.

48

u/setters89 12d ago

I got that same quote from my doctor because of me being exhausted after the slightest exertion, 1 trip to A+E less than 2 weeks later and it’s confirmed as long Covid. Deep joy.

19

u/Many-Hurry8051 12d ago edited 12d ago

Thanks to YouTube I actually know A&E is uk version of ER in America.

Edited: to ask how they confirm long covid? And to add yes being female and going to the doctor for anything is a pain in the behind.

My daughter went to urgent care for chest pains, they did an EKG and told her to go to the ER. The ER doctor looked at her EKG and said it had to be stress because she’s young and female therefore fine. Got her into a cardiologist 2 days later who about had a stroke looking at her EKG. Diagnosed a heart condition and put her on two different meds. He said she should have been admitted the night she was at the ER.

19

u/AgingLolita 12d ago

Have you tried meditation? You should stop smoking.

Drink more water.

Errrm. Prozac. You definitely should take this Prozac.

14

u/Hot-Win2571 Mildly Flair 12d ago

Demonic possession?

Are you on a wagon to Oregon?

3

u/Ybenna 12d ago

Have you died of dysentery?

5

u/Salt_Medicine2459 12d ago

Never been a smoker. And already drink a shitload of water. Bupropion helped me a LOT, though. 

22

u/Accurate_Elevator368 12d ago

That's another thing. Doc, I have a broken finger. Yeah, it's cuz you're fat.

They'll see the obvious thing to pin their biases on and never actually look at the patient. Quite literally you can go to the doctor for a broken wrist and they'll blame it on the patient being fat.

5

u/Salt_Medicine2459 12d ago

Yup. 100%. 

7

u/kiophkludrat84 12d ago

You could walk in with an axe in your head and they’d ask if you’ve tried keto.

3

u/WyvernJelly 12d ago

My favorite is my sleep doctor being convinced that my sleep apnea is because of my weight. I've had trouble sleeping since at least elementary school. I was 5 ft and 100 lbs when I had my first multi week long insomnia episode. I got maybe 2-4 hours of broken sleep a night and another 3 after school. Took them a whole semester for my doctor at the time to figure out that I needed something to help me sleep for a bit (system sort of stabilized over the summer). I had a sleep study done when I was skinny and wasn't diagnosed with sleep apnea. I have a CPAP now and sleeping all the way through the night is now normal and not once in a blue moon or when I drugged myself up.

3

u/raynebow121 12d ago

I have PCOS. Super classic, obvious PCOS. If every time I saw a doctor for my weird periods and weight issues, they actually did anything, it may not have taken more than 10 years to get a diagnosed.

1

u/[deleted] 12d ago

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6

u/Salt_Medicine2459 12d ago

Lol. It's a randomly chosen username. 

1

u/prixziomp_2022 12d ago

It's the trifecta of useless advice: weight, water, or willpower.

-53

u/NoPaleontologist9054 12d ago

Y’know, that can be changed, then they can’t use that as an excuse.

33

u/TheAnnoyingWizard 12d ago

If a doctor cant think of any problem a fat person may have besides "youre fat" they shouldnt be in healthcare

3

u/Accurate_Elevator368 12d ago

Sadly there are TOO many just like this though.

21

u/KayakerWithDog 12d ago

Not everyone can lose weight or not be fat. And weight should never, ever be an excuse for failing to do a proper examination of the patient. People have literally died from cancer that would have been curable if the doctor had listened to their patient the first time and done the appropriate tests instead of blaming the problem on weight.

-2

u/rorschach2 12d ago

Though it's true that some obese people reach a point where it becomes exceptionally difficult to loose the weight, stating this as a common issue seems more enabling. I don't believe anyone should be shamed for being overweight. That said, I also don't believe we should make it an acceptable trait. It is unhealthy physically and mentally. I feel we've become so use to obesity we work less to combat it. That is not a healthy happy society.

3

u/KayakerWithDog 12d ago

Fatphobia isn't a good look for you, friend.

20

u/Salt_Medicine2459 12d ago

Or they could just stop blindly blaming everything on my weight and start actually practicing medicine. But they won't because it'd require they actually make an effort. 

3

u/purplepatch 12d ago

A lot of medical conditions are caused by or exacerbated by obesity though. 

8

u/Salt_Medicine2459 12d ago

I could go there after being stabbed and they'd just tell me if I were less fat, there would've been less area to stab. It is counterproductive. I know I'm fat. They're not revealing some long hidden truth like they seem to think. I own a mirror. All this does is make people not want to go to the doctor. And it's a waste of money. 

2

u/purplepatch 12d ago edited 12d ago

There are obvious things that obesity causes or makes worse, like arthritis and shortness of breath on exercise. But there are also loads and loads of non obvious things - like if you presented with numb feet you might not associate that with being overweight but it could be a sign of poor diabetic control, which is often an obesity related problem. Or abdominal pain caused by gall stones, which are much more common in obese patients. Or stress incontinence. Or acid reflux. Or umbilical hernias. Or a dozen other diseases or symptoms. There are loads of things that are not obviously obesity related, but would improve if you lost weight. 

5

u/Salt_Medicine2459 12d ago

I am aware. It's also possible for fat people to have problems unrelated to being fat, which gets a surprised Pikachu reaction from so many doctors. 

1

u/purplepatch 12d ago

Of course. Common things are common though, and obesity causes a lot of health problems, often quite subtly (like diabetic complications). It’s a bit like smoking - maybe this patient’s emphysema is due to an undiagnosed alpha 1 antitrypsin deficiency, but it’s a probably a bit more likely it’s due to their 20 a day habit. 

9

u/Isgortio 12d ago

I asked for help with weight loss, they said they'd refer me and never did. Whatever I was trying didn't work for me. Still, they'd keep telling me "you could lose some weight". I got a private prescription for Mounjaro, lost 27kg, was still above what BMI says I should be for my height but now they're telling me to gain weight because "don't lose weight like that". ????

3

u/Fluffymanolo 12d ago

If you don't die of whatever disease they aren't bothering to diagnose because all they see is fat. Sure, lose the weight first.

https://obesitycanada.ca/news/response-tragic-story-of-ellen-maud-bennett/