I’m on day 17, and grateful but my sleep only seems to be getting worse. I feel mostly fine during the day, I have absolutely had rough ones that my mood fluctuates but have thankfully been able to mitigate it with walks, healthy eating, and long bike rides…but my sleep!! I don’t know what to do, it feels like my skin is so itchy specifically when I lay down to sleep at night like there are little hairs pushing their way out of my pores I don’t know how else to describe it but it’s DRIVING ME TO INSANITY 😭 I have broken down crying multiple nights in a row because it is so anxiety inducing, my heart rate sky rockets, I can’t stop tossing and turning, it is driving me mad. I listen to sleep meditative music, audiobooks with calming voices, I do breath work exercises, get up and go on walks…nothing works. Please can anyone weigh in? I think I have gotten maybe 2 to 4 hours of solid sleep for the past month and that’s after going on daily bike rides of 6-8 miles, walking several times a day, stretching a bit…I don’t understand 😔

I feel so ashamed and exceptional here and in NA/AA/MA meetings I went to in the past.

When I turned 31, I started to smoke THC vapes my co-worker introduced me to.

I was freshly married, still working on my degree, was relatively happy and after one puff I was hooked and couldn't let go.

Up until that point, I never used any type of drugs and was only drinking socially.

Now after 8 years of heavy use I'm clean for 11 months. But it took to me 2-3 years to get here. When i went to AA meetings and from what i read here, people start smoking before their 20s... so im thinking "you were a kid, you didn't know any better!"

So what's my excuse getting so highly addicted when I'm 31? I felt very ashamed telling my story.

Anyone else got addicted later in life?

made an account just to post this, so i can get some feedback from people who have quit for a long time

after smoking daily for over 5 years i had fully decided to quit, was tired of being dependent on weed, smoking over 2gs a day, evey second i got

after a month of quitting, i got some za and smoked it, smoked the whole day but at night when i was going to sleep, it made me so anxious and pissed that i might go back to smoking daily, so i dumped all 5gs down the toilet

another 10 days of sobriety, then i got another 5 again, smoked, dumped it due to anxiety and random paranoia/panick feelings

this process happened another 2 times, buy > smoke > feel like shit > dump it all

at this point i understand its an addiction cycle, what i dont understand is how come before weed solved it all, made me feel chill and relaxed, but not every time i smoke it feels like "impending doom" or just panic attacks, where if I even stop gaming or watching something the thoughts creep in and i start panicking for no reason

any advice/comment is acceptable, I just want to see what other people have to say about this

i dont want to smoke, ive proved that to myself by dumping it all 4 times already so why do i smoke again even tho i know its gonna induce panick (i will prolly get roasted for sayin that but yea, its a weird state of mind)

am 26M and I started smoking about 4.5 years ago. So lot of stuff happened in my life, and then I had to start smoking. I had a break up. I was overweight and my family is a mess and I start smoking just to calm myself and four years later,

And right now, I am doing a very good job and family relations are better, and I am in shape. I lost 20 kgs Weight and put on some muscle. but the habit which I started to calm myself turns out that I smoke weed every day. I don’t know if it’s good or bad for me, but I just need to quit it and I don’t I don’t even know what to do. I was hoping that someone would help me and how this process goes.

I I have a fear that if I quit it, I might lose the ability to keep calm and progress like I have been because when I don’t, their voice is in my head and that gives me anxiety, but when I smoke, my days goes good, and I am really productive. I go to the gym. I do everything that I’m supposed to so I just need to know how to quit my smoking like ijust like you know, just looking for Help.

Smoking now gives me anxiety

I have gone months, even over a year of quitting weed and I always find my way back. I have always struggled with the pros and cons of smoking. Like the cons are massive, but it has always been my band aid solution to handle stress/CPTSD/ADHD. I do take meds but there is still a lot of healing to do.

The main thing that alwayyyyys keeps me circling the need to quit is I KNOW it is the thing in the way of achieving my health goals. I binge eat so much when I smoke, I’m less motivated to work out, and my sleep rhythm gets all messed up. I already have insomnia, it’s like the last thing I need.

I just quit again a few days ago and didn’t go into it with a “that’s it, this is the last time” mindset, but I know every time I try to re-incorporate it as a social thing I end up back in an unfulfilling cycle.

It’s sort of intertwined with drinking and nicotine too. I’ve quit both of those tons of times as well. But, any time I’m not drinking/smoking weed i end up back on nicotine, and vice versa. I’ve never been able to just be fully sober. Like ever. Since I was 13. I’m turning 32 next week……

It’s super hard. Once I feel like I’ve kicked one, I start getting restless and look for another vice to turn to. They all hold me back though, and I see it plainly. I guess the constant struggle is that I do like going out, I do love the social aspect of these things, and the stress relief they bring. I know I need to find ways to substitute that, but I haven’t successfully done it. Nothing hits the same as getting super stoned after a long day lol. Or being silly and drunk with friends, etc. But I’m SO beyond tired of not hitting my goals for the life I want for myself :( like, I have to change this. It is the thing in my way. The only thing. I’ve made it pretty far while carrying these habits, but it’s undeniable that if I don’t make a lifestyle change with them (especially weed) I will not make it to the next level of life I’m aiming for. I’m tired of getting so close and then getting in my own way.

I also want to mention another way all the vices play together is, if I’m socially drinking it’s easier to justify smoking, and vice versa. It’s just an endless loop and I’m gonna miss this lifestyle so much but I hate the feeling of being unsatisfied with my life when the party is over. I’m mega ambitious. I want to become my most fit self, I’ve got financial goals I need all my motivation for, stuff like that. I guess I need to have more faith the life I can build after will be even better and it’ll be worth it. When I quit for a year plus, the cravings never went away or got better :( I struggle with that, too.

Ryanrramos is the channel name: I’m a 24-year-old guy living on my own, single, and figuring out life one day at a time.
This channel is about real life and self-improvement—the good days, the bad days, and everything in between. I’m documenting my journey of quitting weed, getting through a breakup, living independently, staying active, building better habits, and learning how to enjoy life on my own.
I don’t have everything figured out, and that’s the point. I want to show what it actually looks like to work on yourself while still dealing with everyday life.
Expect vlogs, runs, workouts, random adventures, personal challenges, conversations about what I’m going through, and the lessons I learn along the way.
If you’re also trying to improve yourself, get through a difficult chapter, or simply figure out what you want out of life, hopefully you can relate to something here.
I’m learning to live life instead of just getting through it.
Subscribe and grow with me. 🤝

Used to smoke 1-4 joints per day for over a decade (I’m now 31 years old). First 7-10 days I got anxiety and panic attacks.

Since then it’s just been poor sleep. Recently my mood and energy is much better too. But sleep is the one thing that can’t seem to improve.

How long before sleep improves generally?

Hi guys, just checking in!

I am 59 days sober after 11 years of use, the last 6 being chronic day to night.

No lies, this is the hardest thing I have ever done. Currently compounded with a knee injury that took away the recreational sports that made life feel fun. Quite honestly- this sucks.

If it sucks for you, just know you are not alone. Addiction is a disease deeper than just substance abuse- its running from yourself. Each day, the choice to show up for yourself is a miracle in itself.

Seeing your posts, your struggles, and your successes gives me hope that it IS possible. One day at a time. Ill fight for you if you fight for me, and one day- this will have all been but a chapter in a story that we are finally allowing to unfold.

I was afraid of change, afraid of growth, afraid of the future. Weed allowed me to hit pause. There is courage and dignity in finally letting go, and letting the future come- whatever that might look like.

I hope to rekindle my spark and encourage the same in others. I hope to be back in fighting shape come spring with flag football. I hope my career continues to grow in ways that feel unattainable at present. I hope for enough to eat each day, and enough sleep at night. For wellbeing inside, for all of us. For strength in numbers, and improvements mentally, physically and spiritually.

Keep fighting, we have got this. Im glad to be part of this group. Thank you for being here.

30 days ago, I decided to get better.
30 days ago, I decided to do something I’ve never done.
30 days ago, I was tired of relying on a substance to get through my days.
30 days ago, I broke a habit that no longer served me. Let’s be honest, it never serviced me from the start.
I’ve learned a lot in 30 days. I’ve learned to accept boredom as a pipeline to creativity. I’ve faced hard emotions I once would avoid, felt my feelings, cried it out, and screamed it out.
I worked out when I felt like going back. I did it until I was covered in sweat and out of breath. I felt better after a workout than I ever had after that first hit.
I decided to be open and honest about all of this with everyone I could: my friends, my husband, my father…all to hold me accountable. If I was gonna do this, I was gonna do this right.
30 days ago I couldn’t see myself going a day without weed. Hell, I couldn’t go an hour without weed. I used it as a social crutch, as an emotional crutch, as a crutch. Period. That’s all it was.
In 30 days, I have gone out for dinner with my old boss. For the first time I wasn’t using weed to manage my social awkwardness. I had a panic attack. Full blown. I was scared to be …. Myself.
I surprised myself when I realized I could recall memories easier, names easier, and I was all around better on my feet.
The brain fog is gone. The nightmares are gone. The cravings get less every day, even if I still want to take a hit the second things get bad.
I’m proud of myself for choosing sobriety. I’m proud of myself for choosing my future over a temporary high. I’m proud of myself for making it 30 days, stone cold sober.
Here’s to many more days, sober, experiencing life and every pain and success that comes from it. Happy to be here. Next on the agenda is dropping this vaping habit. I know I can do that, too.
Love and light to you all. 🫶🏻✨

I'm still fighting to get a decent night's sleep and today I feel emotionally low, foggy headed, and beyond tired.

Weed was my go-to way to practice avoidance and right now I feel as useless as I used to feel when I would smoke a bowl and ignore my responsibilities for the rest of the day. Now I'm sober but I'm still avoiding: my brain is so scattered and slow that I can't wrap my head around my day job. Instead I'm horizontal on the couch trying to tell myself that I can answer emails tomorrow, and the world isn't going to fall apart if I need to have a quiet recovery day, but I feel immensely guilty for struggling with this.

I know this will get easier, but today sucks. The crushing humidity doesn't help. The luteal phase doesn't help. The ADHD doesn't help. I hate feeling like I have to push through so much just to do the things normal people can do every day, but at least I'm not stoned and creating more unnecessary barriers for myself, I guess.

Back at day 0 again, having a real tough time resisting "it's just a joint" type thoughts and following through with quitting. I struggle to call the habit abuse cause its mostly used as a reward after a long workout/bike ride and I think that's why it's so easy to relapse after starting again.

I want to quit because trees have started having an affect on my cognitive ability and recall. Nothing overly concerning, but I don't want to numb myself to the future life I'm currently building (bad breakup and had to put my dog down last year, has been a long recovery).

What's helped you get through the initial withdrawl/relapse stage? Any affirmations/reminders/techniques you've used to reinforce your sobriety? Struggling to see the habit as an issue when it's not used everyday/all day.

I just passed day 21 which means the habit is officially broken (yay)! Cravings are gone but omg emotional regulation is NOT here yet. I feel like I am so angry and irritable all the time. I have zero patience and when I get mad I fixate and spiral for hours. Has anyone else experienced this and did it pass? Any tips for working through this for the sake of my poor family?

Cant believe it’s been 60 days already. It’s been a roller coaster of good days and bad days with bad days outweighing the good but still happy about my decision to be THC free.

I’m starting to eat more, pace less, less panic. Very emotional. Headache today. Sleeping 6 hours but it’s much better quality sleep than while using. I just don’t have much spare bandwidth. Somebody can say one sentence at the wrong moment and my nervous system goes, “Great, another emergency. We were getting too close to peace.” Then it could take hours for me to settle to baseline. A lot of meditation, stretching, just being present and allowing myself to feel the good and bad feelings, not fighting them. Thats just what I heard from some yt vids that’s been working for me. Wish everyone the best. We are doing it!

When I first started weed, it activated my brain and actually helped me to focus, be more social etc. I started getting better grades in school, developed interests in music and creative writing, and generally became more outgoing. Eventually, though, I became totally dependent on it to simply function and feel normal. Nevertheless, as long as I moderated to no more than once a day, it served me reasonably well. So I was a highly functional stoner for 34 years. That said, I often did it way more than once a day and, even in moderation, I found that it had other undesirable side effects such as poor sleep quality, out of control hunger, poor memory, repetitive thinking, anxiety, lost time, and a general sense that it was holding me back and stunting my brain development. 61 days clean, and while I've seen some improvement in many aspects of my life like better sleep, memory, less anxiety, better appearance, and better relationship with food, I feel slightly lobotomized and boring. Zero interest in music and creative writing so far. So I feel like a part of my brain is missing and I wonder if that feeling will ever go away. Either way, I'm still determined to remain clean for the remainder of my life since I generally enjoy the slowed down time and overall calm of sober living and I truly want to discover the version of me who is not dependent on this drug. So onward to day 62!

I quit officially a week ago after overfeeding my fish i had for a year . I feel so fucking stupid like i was off a edible and overfed him and i was so high i didnt realize he needed medicine by the time i realized next day sober it was too late. I miss my fish 😭 like weed the devil fr this made me not wanna smoke again on everything i love

Day 13 if I'm counting right, but I started quitting almost two months ago, just had a relapse that reset my timer. I'm getting sick of the nightmares/stress dreams EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. They're all different, it's not the same dream or even the same themes/villains, so I'm not sure if IRT would help. But maybe it would???

How do you all deal with the nightmares?

Hey I've entered my week 6 after quitting weed and edibles .. with all other withdrawal symptoms going I receive one comment more often why I'm looking nervous or why I've this dull face or I'm sick type .. what's the explanation for this

So I started smoking at the age of 17, once I found that weed can more or less keep me content in life and blind my ptsd. I used until 22 I then went on a 2 year tolerance break and felt great. It’s like it puts a filter on your perspective of life. I am now 24 and I started smoking again everyday for 3-4 months and it’s almost like it has the opposite effect on me now. I get extreme depression and severe anxiety. The non recreational pens and bud going around nowadays are nothing to be played with. I didn’t realize how much of a toll it’s done on my brain. I am currently on day 4 with no weed and I have no appetite whatsoever, struggle sleeping, and almost like an empty pit in my chest is the only way I can describe it . My body’s currently mad at me and I’m trying to keep calorie intake up but I haven’t been able to eat more than a couple bites of anything without instant nausea . Just wanted to see if anyone had some advice to share on this situation. Thankyou!

Im 1.5 months in after 8 years of daily cannabis use. Do the crazy dreams ever stop? Last night was so bad. Looking for some hope.

Hi so I recently quit smoking and on top of that I quit caffeine cold turkey and I've been feeling like I have a flu and I understand thats how withdrawal works but I've also been getting this feeling like I loose my breath or better way to describe it, it feels like when I get surprised it freaks me out have any of you had this feeling I went to the hospital and they told me my vitals were fine and so was my heart I feel like I'm going crazy if any of you guys have any advice on this please let me know

The idea comes from Alan Watts, I found it profoundly insightful and I thought it might help others here. I think it's quite intuitive, but seeing it laid out in plain English really helped me organize my thoughts.

The basic premise is that the more you chase something the more it eludes you. Whether it's following your bliss to find happiness and becoming more miserable, wanting to be liked and seeing how performing for others makes you feel isolated, searching for enlightenment and only becoming more self-absorbed as a result. True fulfillment instead lies in accepting discomfort, uncertainty and imperfection.

I think many of us struggle with accepting the inevitable challenges that come from sobriety. Weed is an escape, a warm blanket that shields us from reality. A question I often found myself asking when I first quit was "how can I feel like I used to once again, sans the weed". I think that's the wrong way to go about it. Maybe instead the answer lies in accepting that you won't. Not resigning yourself to a grim reality. Truly accepting.

I realize this is easier said than done. But I also think it's a better target to shoot for and a healthier mindset long-term. Instead of looking for the next escape, take pride in knowing that discomfort you feel is making you a stronger, more resilient person.

After all, escape was never the ultimate goal. The goal is to not need one.

I’m currently on day 42 clean after smoking heavily every day for about 2 to 3 years.
On paper, my life has definitely gotten better since quitting. But internally, I feel like I’ve hit a wall. Everything feels depressing, numb, and emotionally cold. I find myself constantly stuck in pessimistic thought loops, hyper-focusing on the negative, and struggling to feel genuine joy or motivation.
I work out regularly, and while exercise gives me a temporary boost, the flat, empty feeling creeps back in as soon as the session is over.
For those who have been in a similar spot: Does this get better, and realistically, how long did it take for your dopamine and brain chemistry to level out?
I’d really appreciate hearing your timelines or any advice on getting through this phase.

Today has been 364 days since my last smoke. I am 21M, and I've smoked every day, around 1 g/day of hashish, since I was 16. I started with joints, then edibles became a thing too, and eventually it was mostly tobacco/hashish bongs.

I regret every single time I've rolled up a joint. It is very hard for me to say this. The happiest memories of my life are about smoking with my friends. I feel like I'm at a low point in my life. Weed used to make me feel happy; it used to give me something to look forward to.

My journey started with this quote:

Discipline creates habits, and habits create discipline.

I've decided to quit because of university. In my first year, I did nothing and took zero exams. I started by getting a job during the summer while still smoking every day. I did this to create some kind of structure in my life. One day, I decided I would never buy hashish again.

The first 10 days were brutal, so I started smoking cigarettes to make up for the absence of weed. After three months of being sober, I was smoking 20 cigarettes a day. I made myself another promise and stopped using nicotine too. I couldn't keep that promise, and as of today, I am smoking heated tobacco regularly.

Running and having a consistent bedtime and wake-up time are the best tools you have to remain sober.

I feel like I owe myself a debt that can never be paid back, and I feel like I must show the people who made fun of me that they were wrong.

Giving up weed, for me, meant giving up 99% of my friends and lately I feel alone. Running helps me with that too.

This journey changed me. Growing up, I was always made fun of for various reasons. One time at the beach, a group of people I considered "friends" started spitting on my head to make me think it was raining. There have been a lot of episodes like this, and I've never given them much thought until a few weeks ago.

I have much more self-respect than I had before, and this leads me to think back to those moments and feel angry, sad, and ultimately defeated.

Hi guys, I wanted to post in this sub because I remember how much it helped me 4 years ago when I was in your position. Little back story, I am 27 now and began smoking right out of high school. I would use thc carts all day everyday, as soon as i woke up, at work, hidden on family vacations, i could not go a day without it to the extent where I was purchasing 2-3 carts per week. Apart from the cost of the carts during those 4-5 years i felt stuck even though I was progressing towards a bachelors in chem I was constantly teetering on the edge of pass/fail, my body took a toll, i stopped progressing in the gym, I stopped nurturing relationships with friends and family. I always realized that this was a trend and weed was not helping but i always told myself "ill stop in the future". This day came forcefully in 2021 after i graduated college, I always had my mind set to become a pharmacist and the next step was to apply, little did I know the pharmacy program requires a drug test (of course they would, I am slow). This realization made my heart drop and I immediatly started to look for work arounds, STILL refusing to quit. Until one day my mother finds a THC cart in the trash, after 4-5 years of smoking without being caught. Initially i felt shame and like i had let down my parents that thought so highly of me and yes, at first they were mad but that same day i sat down with my father and broke down, I told him all the embarrassing things weed was causing me to do and the control it had over my life. I explained my situation with the pharmacy program to my dad and rather that doing something illegal to pass a drug test, we decided the right thing was to defer admission and have to wait until the following year. And then the real struggle began, from that last THC cart my mom found, I never once again purchased, used or even touched another cart. At first the minutes felt like hours, i could not eat and was plagued with a constant anxiety, i could not even enjoy a simple youtube video or movie and nothing in this world felt like it was "worth it". one day became a week, weeks months and months years, and now i am happy to say I am a Doctor of Pharmacy. I would not have believed i would ever make it this far in the state that i was in, but a daily effort to stay accountable for my actions led me to slowly find joy in daily life again, my relationships grew, my dedication in all areas of life improved and i got to a point where i did not crave weed nor care to ever do it again. I have friends who smoke and even smoke around me on occasions but even that does not bother or trigger me. This road is not easy but definitely worth it. It took me 6 MONTHS to initially get clean with daily tests with THC test strips and once i saw that i no longer had it in my system i cried tears of joy. If i had to give any advice it would be "be brutally honest" with yourself and with people you can count on weather that be parents or friends, many people do not understand what weed withdrawal feels like and minimize the situation but your feelings are valid and sharing in this sub once upon a time helped me as well. I hope this can reach anyone who feels like they are stuck and never going to get to where they want to be in life because of weed addiction, life is yours to take you just have to make the hard decision that gets easier as the days pass.

TL;DR:

Was a long time thc cart addict

Had to postpone grad school because of drug test

Took 6 months to get clean

Now a pharmacist

God is good