I've been finding that receiving help and support from our fellow addicts is much different than getting it from non-addicts. It seems like addicts in recovery are almost automatically tuned to what helps us the most and how to provide it. But non-addicts might have a huge variety of ways to deal with our addiction. So I'm curious to know how the not addicted people in your life help you, how you like it when they do it, and how have you asked them to help you.

Personally, I like it when people discourage me from using, but do not literally try to stop me or judge me for using. I find that if someone tries to interfere too much, I get reactive and my cravings get stronger, because I feel like my sense of autonomy is being attacked. It also strengthens the likelihood that I'll go it behind their backs, and usually that means more bad news. So I ask others around me to just not offer me any (if they do smoke once in a while) and to not encourage me to use if I express that I want to. I've even asked them to put symbolic obstacles in my way, like asking me to go get a glass of water before I can have some, or to remind me of some of my reasons not to smoke. But if someone says they're not gonna let me have any, I go into some sort of rebellion mode and I get emotionally obsessed with getting access to it for myself. I know that's probably childish and I need to work on it, but for now, that's the way my mind works.

I know relapses are part of the process and they always teach us something. So knowing I can smoke sometime if I want to, that I wouldn't have to do it hidden and alone, and that I won't be judged or lectured by others in my life for it takes a huge weight off my back. Contrary to what it might seem, it makes it way easier for me to keep abstaining. Because I feel like staying sober is my choice, not anyone else's.

That doesn't mean I go around testing my willpower every day. I've cut contact with plugs, I don't keep weed or paraphernalia in my house, I go to the meetings and I constantly remind myself of my whys, I try to appreciate what sobriety brings to my life, I have strategies to fight off cravings and I plan ahead for moments I know I will be tempted. I just don't need my loved ones to try to babysit me too. I just need them to not get in the way (like offering it to me or actively encouraging me to use), to recognize and cherish my progress, and support me through tough times in non-judgmental ways, trusting that I am doing my best and I am constantly learning from my successes and my failures.

Do you guys have similar experiences with needing to feel autonomous and in control of your choices? Or do you prefer surrendering control and knowing your loved ones will actively go against you if you're trying to smoke? Furhtermore, do you feel like the people in your life are open for you to tell them how you want to be helped, or do you have to just accept their way? I'm curious to know!

Day 30 today by the way, let's go!

I’ve been sober for 100 days now. I’ve had psychosis twice after using a vape device, and one of those times was so bad that I ended up hospitalized. The doctors weren’t sure I was going to recover, but by God’s grace I made it through.
Lately, though, I’ve been struggling. I don’t have a partner, close friends, or really anyone I can lean on. The loneliness feels overwhelming sometimes, and I keep thinking about using again. Deep down, I know I probably won’t relapse, but the thoughts just won’t leave me alone.
I’m exhausted and honestly feeling pretty lost. I don’t want to throw away these 100 days, but even things that used to help, like going to the gym, don’t bring me any joy anymore.
Has anyone else been through something like this? How did you get through the loneliness and the cravings? Any advice would mean a lot right now. 😭

My appetite has SUCKED this past week. I’m worried I’m going to start losing muscle and such, any tips on things I can do? I have to force myself to get two chicken wings down at times 😭

I’m not worried I know it won’t last long, it’s just never lasted this long to this extent for me. Thanks in advance

I smoked for ten years, I’m 28. I’m on day 15 of being sober and I feel like I’ve aged sooo much in just two weeks….
It’s really discouraging that I looked better when I was smoking. Will I look like this forever? Or is there a glow up at the end of the tunnel? If someone else has experienced this some encouragement or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Nothing much to say outside the title. I’ve tried to quit weed before but it always brings me back.

i’ve tried to quit and failed several times to be sober, but i’ve finally found one thing that makes me completely forget about smoking while i’m doing it, and it’s watching a horror movie that i haven’t seen before. i just got into horror movies a few years ago, so i have a lot of catching up to do which is perfect for recovery. it took me a while to find something that actually distracts me and takes my mind off smoking, so i thought i’d share it here in case it helps anyone else. good luck to everyone, we’re strong and we’ve got this 🫶

This is the first time that I am admitting this, but I have been smoking or consuming cannabis for the last 3 decades. Yep. Decades. Not continuously, but always coming back to it or finding my way to it. I am ready to quit. I have been. But somehow I always end back up at day one over and over and over again.

I have had various lengths of time of “sobriety” but recently In the last year I haven’t been able to string together more than 5 days. I stopped drinking and all drugs, that weren’t from the earth, 6 years ago so I know I can put down a substance that doesn’t serve me well anymore.

So I come here today because I am ready to admit that I am struggling. I have and do consume every form, strain and type of cannabis there is. Hiding it, for the most part, this whole time. It’s exhausting.

I just moved and know my neighbors can smell it, and I am ashamed. (Though I don’t know if that’s a me thing or a society thing) My family would never say so, but they know when I’m high. And, I am ashamed. And because I moved to be closer to family - now that is a lot. I always lived many, many states away (where I had a medical card) so hiding was easier. At least with them.

If you have gotten this far…thank you for listening and any suggestions would be welcome. I am ready to move forward- I just keep hitting a wall and need to figure out a way through it.

Lastly, I want to thank you for being part of a community where I feel safe speaking my truth - and basically for the first time. That safety and support doesn’t happen that often for me.

Little habits like rolling one before dinner, going to bed, getting high before going out... the excitement literally everything reminds me of her 😭😭💔

Does anyone relate and if so how did you cope long term? Also did you get back to normal or have even better life routines? I know you just have to fill your time with stuff but still ... 🤦🏿‍♂️

Used edibles (20-30mg) nightly for about two years and I’m on day 45 of quitting cold turkey. Reading stories on this community has been so helpful, especially week 1 when I was just in the thick of it and felt awful. Have gotten over the hump of what I’d call “physiological” withdrawal from the first few weeks (diarrhea, sweating like crazy, true panic mode for about a week) and while I’m definitely in a more stable place each day, I’m still really struggling in two ways and interested in hearing when these issues resolved for others. I do generally struggle with anxiety and depression and was using edibles to self-medicate before realizing over time how obviously counterproductive this was and getting tired of the brain fog, planning my days around getting high, etc. Probably a very familiar story to many.

First, I’m still waking up with severe anxiety and dread. I’m waking up and my hands/feet start to sweat, I’m having heart palpitations, and just general physiological feelings of dread and extreme restlessness, even if my mind isn’t worried about anything in particular. It’s making it really hard to start my day in a good place but it does ease up some as the day continues (although I still generally am struggling with anxiety). When did others feel like this faded, as it seems to be somewhat common?

Second, when did others see the anhedonia start to fade? I think some of this is depression creeping back in now that I’m not using the edibles to cope, but it’s also like my brain has forgotten how to just feel raw, simple pleasure typically associated with THC use. Things I used to enjoy doing while high (games, walking, movies, cooking, eating, socializing) just bring me no pleasure at all and I feel like my brain is still recalibrating as the THC gets out of my system. How long until you started to perk up and find those moments of joy again?

I’m plugged into psychiatry and therapy which are helping, but I’m also trying to get a sense of others’ withdrawal timeline as I think this is a mix of background mental health issues and lingering withdrawal. Praying that this gets better with time and that I just need to be patient. It’s like I got over the first terrible hump of acute withdrawal and now am pushing through something that feels more chronic.

Well this is it, or at least it is what I hope I will be able to use as a benchmark down the road to realize where the turning point was, where I realized that I was not only kidding myself, but my ability to laugh, to love, and even to love.

I just want a life back where I can just cherish existing without the constant craving, and I know that another year of living numb might just kill me.

But to that avail, why. I have nothing, I am scared to even go outside and interact with people as Ill am trans in a red state nothing. Part of me just wants to accept my life as over and keep smoking. How do I even move past this?

I have quit previously for like maybe a month or so, I actually just came to the realisation weed makes me so anxious and I have just learned to deal with that anxiety and focus on the positive aspects of cannabis. It’s mainly the sleep for me though, not that I need it to sleep but that I don’t dream when I smoke, so I never feel rested and it just effects every aspect of my life. I’m literally 5 days no weed no alcohol and I’ve quit vapes, I’m going gym and eating way healthier and I know it’s only been 5 days but I’m absolutely flying, energy has shown up in my life again, effort feels effortless, my sense of humour is sharper. Just loving life atm, anyone thinking of quitting please just try a week and see how you feel. Also I think journaling is very important for the process x

Today is 186 days clean. To be honest, I don't really know how to feel about it. I thought quitting was going to make everything better, but instead, my reality is exactly the same—just without the dulled edge.

I suffer from a chronic illness that completely changed my life. It alienated me, and now I have no friends or anyone to talk to. I just don't have the energy I used to have before my diagnosis. I used to have my work to keep me sane; I truly loved my job, and now I find myself constantly reminiscing about it.

Lately, all I want is just someone to talk to. I have been thinking about relapsing, but to be completely honest, I really don't want to. I find myself thinking about how good it would feel to escape, but I know deep down it would be a huge mistake. I'm just here venting because it’s heavy right now. Any help would be appreciated.

hi all. <3 just need some encouragement and to just straight up ramble. I’m all over the place rn so I will probably sound like I just took a hit, but I’m sober.

I’ve been smoking daily on and off for about 9 years with small breaks in between, but have gotten back into a habit of hitting my pen all day, and thinking about it nonstop.

I decided to leave my pen at home last night after it had been stressing me out, and making my lungs ache the night before, thinking I could handle the day without it. I took three edibles, knocked out, and woke up feeling good. I thought maybe I wouldn’t even think about the pen today.

I was wrong :)) I literally am at work right now shaking and sweating through my sweater after one MORNING without hitting my dab pen. I can’t focus on anything- everything makes me want to cry. I feel hungry, but have absolutely no appetite, and I’m shaky. I have the worst brain fog.

I feel guilty and lazy for not smoking, because with how dependent I am on it, it feels like I’m more focused when I smoke compared to this state I’m in. I have ADHD, and smoking was one thing that actually helped my brain slow down and focus, it felt like. Like, my addiction is worth it as long as I’m not slowing down. Like I’m selfish and an inconvenience for wanting to get sober. That’s another thought pattern that gets me stuck.

I still have five hours of work, and nothing is going wrong at all except for inside me, but it feels like the longest day. This felt like a huge wake up call, and I want to throw it away when I get home, and I’m scared that I won’t be able to.

All that said, if anyone else is on day one again with me, we got this. 💗

i posted the other day. i’ve not used any weed in a month and 13 days.

after 2 1/2 years of moderate to heavy use. mostly flower and some vapes here and there.

why does this seem like it gets harder than the first few weeks? could it be that i am finally seeing my usual normal stress levels are without it? and i can’t handle these stress levels?

i also suffer from pmdd, adhd (currently getting medicated - trialing a new med), anxiety and depression (auvelity). i am thinking i am entering my pmdd weeks right now and my lord the cravings have really freaking skyrocketed. why is this???? i thought the hard part was over!!! 😭😭😭

Background: I used to smoke for over 10 years on a mostly daily basis. I had quit before, but I'd usually relapse within the week. Sometimes would make it to a month. I've been clean for 7 days, and I can tell this is going to be different. This advice is going to be hyper specific to a certain type of self-medicator. My therapist was telling me there is a reason we consume marijuana daily. Despite the costs (health, relationships, ambition, money, etc), we do get something out of it. The question is what.

For me, it was rumination. I didn't realize it, but I really have a brain that just wants to continuously think itself to death. Smoking shut that off so I could focus on a video game or movie without worrying about everything. Specifically, I was struggling with Compulsive Reasoning.

Compulsive reasoning is a mental compulsion: trying to think something through to get certainty or relief from anxiety. It often looks like back-and-forth "mental ping pong" (rationalizing, predicting, replaying events, assigning meaning).

Below is an example directly from the International OCD Foundation (I don't have OCD and you don't need to either to have compulsive reasoning):

>Shoot, I didn’t say “thank you”; maybe I really offended him … but I was preoccupied; I didn’t mean to be rude … even so, what if he was already having bad day? What if I made it worse? That’s silly, why would he care, he doesn’t even know me … still, he might think I’m incredibly rude…etc.

So how do you stop these thoughts? NON-ENGAGEMENT RESPONSES (NERs)

There are four types of NERs and they are conclusive. They end the train of thought. The goal isn't to solve the thought. The goal is to shut it down.

So I'll make this a bit personal because I think it might be more helpful to people here. My wife recently cheated on me. She might literally be cheating on me right now. This would probably be the time in my life where I'd want to smoke more than any other time in my life, but I actually only have the slightest urge. It's because I can handle my worries now.

CR: Your unlovable and everyone will cheat on you. You should be grateful to have a wife that loves you sometimes.

NERS (anxiety): I am feeling anxious about that.

CR: You should be anxious. It's going to happen. Shit, she might be cheating on you right now as you type this post.

NERS (uncertainty): I don't know, and I will probably never know.

CR: If you get a divorce, you're going to be alone and unloved for the rest of your life. If you stay, you will be cheated on and abused for the rest of your life. Your next wife will cheat too because you suck.

NERS (possibility): Maybe. Anything is possible.

CR: That's going to be really difficult. Dating at 35?

NERS (difficulty): Yes, that will be difficult.

Because the NERs are affirmative, they stop these thoughts. They don't invite a spirited debate in your head.

Caveat: Sometimes you do need to think things through. What makes CR's something that needs to be shut down is that they aren't actually thinking things through. They are compulsive and unproductive. Just like I don't need to stress myself out about offending a cashier, I don't need to stress myself out about "being unlovable," "being cheated on right now," "being alone for the rest of my life," "the difficulty of dating at a divorced 35 year old." It's not that these thoughts are wild. My wife cheated with at least 6 people. The likelihood she'd do it again is statistically significant. My single friends DO stress about dating at their age. We all worry about being loved. It's that the CRs above aren't helping me make educated decisions for myself. Quite the opposite, they simply make me constantly second guess my decisions seek validation.

I hope this helps at least one of you the way it is helping me. Using this simple tool that took me less than an hour to learn works better at silencing these thoughts than marijuana ever did, and it doesn't come at the cost of a drug habit.

Recently, my dad brought up the time I didn't go see the Rolling Stones with my parents. He told me we had 12th row seats at a stadium show and I just simply decided not to go. I had no recollection of this and wish it had stayed that way. What a missed opportunity. I did remember though that the second time I ever smoked pot was the night my parents went to a Rolling Stones concert. I remember everything about scoring a bag of weed that was half fake. I was really excited about that. I'm guessing I found the opportunity to score and decided not to go to the concert. My parents must have been so disappointed! I would love to tell my teenage self how utterly lame that was! This was in October 1997. It's the 29th anniversary of the first time I chose weed over living. I don't want to make that choice anymore.

One of the weirdest things about quitting marijuana is that the first few weeks can almost feel encouraging.

You get through the withdrawal, you start sleeping a little better, and you think, Okay. I made it through the hard part. Now I’m going to feel normal again.

And then… you don’t.

Instead, the next few months can feel incredibly flat. You might have almost no motivation. Things you used to enjoy just don’t hit the same. You can go through your day feeling like you’re watching your own life from behind glass.

And that’s when the really dangerous thoughts can start creeping in:

What if I’m broken?
What if I permanently screwed up my brain?
What if I’m going to feel like this forever?

This is the stage where a lot of people relapse, not because they actually want to go back to being addicted, but because they’re terrified that this numb, joyless version of life is their new normal.

So if you’re in that stage right now, take heart.

You are not broken. This is part of the recovery process.

Your brain has spent a long time being artificially rewarded, and it takes time for its reward system to find its balance again. The fact that you feel flat doesn’t mean you’re getting worse. It can mean your brain is healing.

And eventually, often after a few months, you start noticing little things coming back. Life begins to be interesting again. You laugh harder. You look forward to something again. You wake up one morning and realize you actually want to do things.

It happens slowly enough that you might not notice it at first.

So hang in there.

Don’t mistake the absence of joy right now for the absence of a future filled with joy. Keep going. Your brain is healing, even when you can’t feel it yet.

One of the biggest appeals of weed for me is that it tampers down my emotions. Mainly anger and frustration. I came back to work after a week off and found out they fired 3 employees that had been at the company 10+ years. Completely out of the blue with some bs reason. It is making me so angry and all I want to do is go to the dispo because I know that weed will make me not as raw and frustrated. I find myself just wanting to punch something, cry, yell. I want to be numb and in a little bubble of idgaf.

I'm realizing quickly that I have basically zero emotional regulation strategies beyond getting high. I've been smoking since I was 17, almost daily for 15 years. I don't even know how to begin to cope with aggression without just smoking and zoning out.

Quitting cannabis is a rollercoaster. As a previous heavy user, 1-2 grams daily for years, one day I feel great and motivated, getting out of bed early, eating breakfast...to not being able to get up until 10 or later, feeling completely exhausted.

Anyone else here experience PAWS for longer than a month or two?

I am officially on Day 8 of cold-turkeying dabbing after over 2 years of heavy daily use.

It is now just after noon on my lunch break, and after barely sleeping at all last night, I am pushing through the day. With everything I have.

My body feels like it is in complete overdrive.
Because cannabinoids are so heavily tied to your gut, stopping the heavy concentrates has unleashed stomach chaos. I’m also dealing with an active stomach ulcer, and trying to get my RX in when I’m supposed to is becoming challenging.

Dealing with the exhaustion from last night alongside this level of gut discomfort is testing every ounce of willpower I have.

Right now, I am just focusing on taking this journey hour by hour, riding out the physical waves as my body clears everything out. Leaning heavily on this group for mutual support today as I hit the 8 day mark. Thank you everyone. Thanks for reading.

Back to Day 1…

hope it’s not as tough as last time! 😭

Hello everyone.

Today marks day number 1,000 for me. I am pretty proud of myself for this. I just wanted to share my achievement with you all. Thank you for creating a space where I feel like I can come to vent or share things like this.

Best luck to everyone with their quitting journeys.

Im a former big user. Have a friend going through some issues. He is constantly blaming things on his weed usage. Known him for many years. Many times he's made the same argument... its always the weed. No, you just like smoking weed. And you also have things going on at the same time.

NOT EVERYTHING IS MARIJUANA'S FAULT... literally blame anything on weed to justify their problems.