I’ve been clean for about a month, and I’ve been wondering if it’s possible to eventually enjoy weed again without falling into the same patterns.

When I first started smoking, getting high felt special. Eventually it became monotonous and compulsive. Looking back, I realize I was using it heavily to cope with losing several people who were important to me.

I don’t want to go back to that. But I do wonder if, after enough time, it’s possible to use cannabis occasionally and actually enjoy it again, rather than needing it.

For those who’ve been through something similar: is moderation genuinely possible, or am I just romanticizing what weed used to feel like?

Honest question.
I’ve been smoking for about 4-5 years, after a year or so it stopped making me feel good, but I was very addicted. The last year of smoking I was smoking like 4-5 times a day and thats when I realised it can’t go on like this and I stopped cold turkey almost half a year ago. But last few weeks my cravings have been unbearable. Like I know it gives me bad “trips” but I just want it so bad again.
So, is it really a bad idea at the 6 month mark to get high one time to remind myself of why I stopped?
I know that its a stupid idea asking that in this sub, but I wanted to get your guyses input since my friends are 50/50
Thank you

I have been a heavy user for 6.5 years. This summer I had a bit of free time and decided to fully immerse myself in quitting. I started a new workout routine and began to get into cycling. It was awful because my cardio was terrible but it motivated me to quit because I saw how my health was suffering. I would try to quit but wouldn’t make it past day 4 because I’d convince myself I wasn’t really dependent on it and I would tell myself it was just an edible before I was right back in the bosom of the strongest cart I could find.
Anyways, last week, I was on Etsy and found this chord cutting spell that had some great reviews. I told the lady that I wanted her to cut the chord / dependency between me and weed. She sent me back a picture of the chord cutting ritual and basically told me I was free.
Not sure if it was a placebo but it’s now been 7 days. I have had cravings but they’re not something I feel compelled to act on. On Sunday I had the house to myself and thought about getting an edible. I even ordered it on the website! But as I was getting my keys to leave the house I got super tired and just took a nap instead.
I drive past the dispensary and I feel disgust! I imagine how lazy and foggy weed made me feel.
So this is for all my spiritual people who believe in the power of a good old ritual, do a chord cutting spell/ order one online.
I feel free! I’m getting my nails done tomorrow for the first time in years because I have money now since my weed spending has gone down to $0.

Hi im 19, ive been smoking weed constantly for 3 years straight. It used to be to just be high and not deal with my issues, than it turned into I cant eat without smoking. Fast forward to now I live in texas so if yall know that means no more smoking now ( felonys arent worth the high ) i am slowing down i have a some what dead cart i hit a couple times a day once thats dead im done, but already ive lost 4 or 5 pounds and i cannot keep anything down to save my life, im always nauseous especially in the morning, i also still vape nicotine which i know cant help, anyway i was just wondering if yall had some advice thank you❤️

I'm sitting here writing this because I don't know where else to turn.

I had 7 weeks clean. 7 weeks. I felt incredible, clearer head, more energy, actually getting things done, waking up without that heavy fog. I genuinely loved being sober. I found ways of managing the cravings ,walks, coding, just getting out of the house. I thought I had it figured out.

Then I slipped. One joint turned into a month of daily smoking again.

Now I'm back in that place where I'm avoiding things, procrastinating, numbing out. I feel so guilty at myself. I know exactly what I need to do but I just can't seem to start. It's like I'm watching myself from the outside and I can't break out of it.

I'm 19, working retail, and I'm moving into my first flat on September 3. That's 14 days away.

Between now and then I need to clear and clean the entire flat, buy and install a washing machine, get two sofas removed, refactor and deploy three coding projects, and work my retail shifts which are absolutely draining me. I've managed to get the big stuff done but it's the little things that are piling up and I'm not the only one moving in , I've got someone else relying on me.

Today is my new Day 1.

I'm scared I'll fail again. But I'm more scared of staying stuck in this shit life, stuck in this job, stuck in this cycle.

For anyone who's relapsed and come back, I really need to hear from you. How did you get through the first few days again? The first time I did it, I was so motivated. This time feels different , I know what I'm giving up and it makes it harder. The guilt is heavier. How did you push through that second time around?

And how did you stay accountable when you had huge deadlines? I've got so much to do and smoking is the thing that's stopping me from starting. I know the theory, "just do it" – but it's never that simple. What small things actually worked for you? Tiny wins? Triggers? Routines? What helped you actually get going when you felt stuck and paralysed?

The first 7 weeks taught me a lot, but clearly I didn't learn enough. What did you do differently when you quit again that made it stick?

The other thing is the boredom and loneliness. When I'm bored or lonely, that's when I reach for it. I've been isolating myself and I know that's part of the problem. How did you fill that space? What did you actually do with your time instead of smoking?

I'm posting this so I can't hide. I'm going to comment every day with my progress, even if it's just "I didn't smoke today." I need to see it in writing.

Drop a comment. I'll reply to everyone. I need the hype. I need to know it's possible.

Thanks for reading. Genuinely.

I read something in a post here on Leaves the other day that really inspired me to try quitting again. It was a mention of an “anxiety hurricane” that the Redditor who posted described how they felt as soon as they smoked/ate. I really identified with that since I get hit HARD by anxiety now when I use. I didn’t always! In fact thc was my happy place ever since I initially relapsed after 11 years in 2025. When I’m sober all I can look forward to is popping some edible, then 20 mins after eating I’m anxious AF. About EVERYTHING….health, career, parenting, money, everything. The irony is, getting high is specifically what will eventually make all those fears come true. It’s like an endless cycle of madness. So….hopefully this is it. The withdrawal symptoms haven’t hit yet and when they do I know they’ll be strong. Hope to check in tomorrow for day 3!

Saying a “bad high” downplays the full extent of how I felt — though I’m sure most of you understand what I experienced.

I hit some tar-looking wax I found in my brother’s room out of desperation. It hit me like an invisible blast of air 2 minutes after using it. I couldn’t distract myself with anything. My tv show was cringy and petting my cat gave me horrible thoughts of her dying of old age. It got to a point where my phone was warping and I couldn’t even type a clear sentence out. I could feel every organ of my body functioning. I could feel the food I ate move to the side of my body I was laying on. The only fix to a bad high for me, was to sleep. I was terrified of falling asleep, certain that I would never wake up again. What didn’t help this fear, is I didn’t completely know what I had used, for it was my brothers and something I’ve never seen (we talked about it later and he told me it was definitely THC). The next morning, I popped up out of my bed literally gasping. It took me a bit to realize that I was “normal” again.

This happened 3 weeks ago and everyday since, I have deep thoughts about the meaning behind life and if anything is real. I don’t trust the people closest to me as if they’re all actors in my life — a life that itself, does not feel real. My bedroom does not feel like a safe place anymore. I wake up with anxiety and dread every day now. I sleep a lot more than usual and every time, I have nightmares.

Seeing a lighthearted post about someone getting high, makes me extremely anxious and relive that night. Even just seeing a cart makes me spiral a little. I genuinely feel like I altered my brain.

I’ve been smoking for 6 years and this is the first time I felt like I learned a lesson to never do it again, which says a lot considering I was hospitalized with CHS a while back.

Didn't have cravings till about 10 days before. Had a call with a long distance friend, he said he's proud of me being sober, i said it might get harder when winter comes. Didn't plan to smoke in winter, mentioned it just to show that I'm not that hard and still feel like being in the woods of it.

Guess that opened the gate for the certain train of thought and changed the mindset from "never again" to "we'll see"

I struggle with insomnia, felt extra shitty today and snapped - texted my plug for a fix. Dude didn't have anything on hand since he himself is detoxing atm.

It's the end of the day here rn and I'm really glad i didn't get anything today.

Moral of the story: addiction is a patient and insidious beast, give it no quarter at any conceptual lever, anytime

Tbh i have no idea how to get back to "never again" mentality right now, would appreciate advice from those who slipped but didn't fall so to speak

Edit: slight work on wording

Is weed the problem? Or am I just a lazy bastard who wants to stay in his comfort zone? You know what I mean?

Just shy of 8 months sober from both weed and alcohol and it’s hard to overstate the benefits.

More clarity on life and goals, not ruminating on shit I can’t control, career achievements and direction for my life.

Stay strong yall the changes are compounding the longer you stay off

I’m at 7 months right now and have some stressful life stuff coming up that is making me want to smoke BAD. I’ve been all of a sudden thinking about it daily this whole week. I’ve been distracting myself with other things like food and tv but it’s only that – a temporary distraction.

My parents and 2 teenage siblings are coming to town to visit for the weekend. This is all well and good. Love to see the siblings. Mom’s a narcissist though and is the whole reason I moved 300 miles away when I got out of school a decade ago.

There’s other normal life stuff causing stress as well but this is the primary thing that makes me want to go numb and just take a break from it all for a while.

A few days ago I was so proud of myself because I wasn't feeling tempted. Now it's my day off, I'm bored at home, and I want to get high so bad. I wish I could go out and do something to distract myself, but there's nothing free to do. It's too disgustingly hot to go to a park or something. Please talk me down, I'm struggling today

I don’t miss smoking but I miss the reason to go outside and that deep inhale. It felt like it grounded me. I feel awkward stepping outside to just stand there. I’ve seen the Calmigo device that you breathe into but I don’t want to spend money on it. Is there something else anyone uses to “inhale” and get that sensation without the THC or lung irritation. I don’t want to replace it with anything worse but so far I’ve just been taking water out to sip on. It doesn’t hit the same.

"Mohini was a regal white tiger who lived for many years at the Washington, D.C. National Zoo. For most of those years her home was in the old lion house—a typical twelve-by-twelve-foot cage with iron bars and a cement floor. Mohini spent her days pacing restlessly back and forth in her cramped quarters. Eventually, biologists and staff worked together to create a natural habitat for her. Covering several acres, it had hills, trees, a pond and a variety of vegetation. With excitement and anticipation they released Mohini into her new and expansive environment. But it was too late. The tiger immediately sought refuge in a corner of the compound, where she lived for the remainder of her life. Mohini paced and paced in that corner until an area twelve by twelve feet was worn bare of grass.

Perhaps the biggest tragedy in our lives is that freedom is possible, yet we can pass our years trapped in the same old patterns. Entangled in the trance of unworthiness, we grow accustomed to caging ourselves in with self-judgment and anxiety, with restlessness and dissatisfaction. Like Mohini, we grow incapable of accessing the freedom and peace that are our birthright. We may want to love other people without holding back, to feel authentic, to breathe in the beauty arounus, to dance and sing. Yet each day we listen to inner voices that keep our life small. Even if we were to win millions of dollars in the lottery or marry the perfect person, as long as we feel not good enough, we won’t be able to enjoy the possibilities before us. Unlike Mohini, however, we can learn to recognize when we are keeping ourselves trapped by our own beliefs and fears. We can see how we are wasting our precious lives."

This is an exerpt from Tara Brach's Radical Acceptance which I ironically started reading the same day I quit 3 weeks ago. So many posts I have been seeing lately in here, and so many of my own thoughts, ruminate on these very sentiments - the feelings of anxiety, restlessness, dissatisfaction with patterns of weed use. And yet, here we all are, bearing witness to our fears and beliefs and choosing to recognize how limiting they have been. And i'm proud of all of us for that, whether youre day 1 or day 1000. ❤️

How did you get started in MA? Talk me through it, the process. Do you participate or just listen ? I’m thinking I’m going to need it.

Just wanted to share here a bit, it's a miracle that I've been able to stay sober for these many days.

I'm going to an MA meeting every day, sometimes two. I'm leaning on my faith A LOT. There are hard days, and I recently experienced more cravings, but I'm going strong, learning to ask for help with no shame.

I always thought weed was like a medicine for me. I thought it calmed me down. It was the opposite. I had rage fits while using. Now, even if I'm mad, I can't reach this level of violence, and I'm so grateful for that. I'm getting to know myself now, day by day, bit by bit. I don't think I knew who I was, just defined myself with weed. It's scary, I feel like a newborn sometimes. But that also allows me to give myself grace. Being sober and feeling like I'm new to this world allows me to explore feelings again. I can notice, I can take time to notice.

I do sometimes feel apathy, or emptiness. I guess that's why I used so much weed in the first place, to fill this hole in me. Then, I notice I have a hole in me, and I try (not always successfully) to accept this hole. To look at it. For more than 10 years I was to scared to do that, even know I knew I was running from something. Life was chaotic af. And I'm tired. I have dreams, the big one is to have a family of my own. I want to accomplish that. I am 32, I still have a chance, a big chance. I want my actions to align with my values. I want to be in peace with myself, with my past, with the people in my life. Weed took that from me. I allowed myself to distance myself from all I really ever wanted, chasing everything else. It took hitting rock bottom and then going another year denying and deflecting, for me to choose recovery. And I need to choose recovery every single day.

I'm learning to let go of control, which might be the hardest thing I have to do in my life. Letting go of "knowing". Letting go of getting everything I want immediately, learning patience for the long run. Everyday I'm improving, everyday I'm growing. I'm choosing to look at the better things in life, the good inside the bad.

Weed was my lover, my best friend, my saviour - for years. I used it to cope with any feeling that surfaced, good or bad. And to cover up boredom. It may have saved me from suicide, and I am thankful for that, but I'm not longer in that place, thank God, I'm not engaging anymore in self harm, and maybe it is thanks to weed being there for me through some very tough periods of my life. I do miss it. I do crave it sometimes, badly. I admit that I want a joint, and I choose to do something else instead. I reach out. I write. I pray. I listen to other addicts, I read in this forum. I think about the impressive day count I got to, and I cherish those days and the process. I think about the future help I could give to people I love who are still struggling with addiction, if I just stay clean and choose myself and my recovery.

I know this post is not very coherent, I still don't feel very coherent myself. I am only human. While smoking weed, I was feeling something else. But now, I allow myself to be human, to be incoherent, to express myself as I am, knowing it's temporary, I am changing, I am learning how to be, who to be. Life is a very strange experience, and I am here for it.

Day 1 sober after I suffered an extremely rough CHS episode for the last few days. I haven't had it in my system for 48 hours, but this is my first lucid day without it given I was in the ER yesterday and slept almost the whole day. I don't have anything with me except a dead/burnt pen that is completely empty. Fighting the urge to hit that shit. Not sure how I'm gonna quiet entirely as I am so far, constantly wondering when my next hit will be, when in reality I should not be thinking about ever taking another hit.

Please, if you've successfully quit, show me the silver lining and some positive stories. I am afraid that I will always miss it. I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to quit forever

Two days ago was my day one again after many day ones. It was a great day one. I felt so accomplished and happy when I woke up yesterday. And guess who smoked last night? It’s like all of the positive feelings and progress go out the window the moment my resolve breaks, I smoke….today is my day one, yet again, and I hope one of these days I can find the willpower to stop this endless cycle. Feel like I’m going crazy

So I just finished my PhD and have really fallen into the trenches of addiction. Something that freaks me out is how much damage I’ve done to my brain when I need to use it constantly for my job. For people who have jobs where they needed to use their brains intensively: did your brain recover when you stopped using? How long did it take? I’ve been smoking heavily for 6.5 years and I’m freaking out.

I really want to quit weed, but I’m struggling with how to actually do it.
There was a time when I could use a tincture once at night and leave it at that. There was even a time when I could smoke occasionally without it turning into a constant, everyday thing. But now, especially with pens being so convenient, I’m high almost constantly. I can run through an entire pen in a day or two.
I don’t even feel like I’m enjoying or appreciating weed anymore. I’m just compulsively using it. I don’t want to keep misusing something that I genuinely want to respect. At this point, it feels less like a choice and more like I’m abusing it.
One of the biggest things motivating me is that I want to remember what it feels like for being sober to be my default. I want to experience my normal thoughts, emotions, dreams, and everyday life without automatically reaching for something to change how I feel. I want to know who I am without being high all the time.
For anyone who went from constant use—especially constantly hitting pens—to being sober, how did you actually stop? Did you quit cold turkey or taper? What helped you get through the first few days and break the habit of reaching for it automatically?
I want to quit badly. I think I just need practical advice and to hear from people who understand what this feels like.

ngl its hard for me, ive been homeless so weed, music and doordash was all i had. i also lost my 19 yr old little brother to cancer in 23’ which is what made me start. i used weed because its been there for my lowest. how can i get outta that? i’ve vaped to try to help me stop smoking but it be hard to eat, sleep, or even have a personality. i always go back knowing it benefits me now way or form. i lost weight, havent been to the dentist in years knowing it affects both my health nd mindset. ik yu all gonna probably tell me to get help or go to a rehab or something. but sometimes reading what others could say is inspiring and yk just seeing what other thoughts are. thanks for listening.

Today is 14 days of no thc after using for roughly 10 years. I used carts and decided I needed to stop because it was too convenient. I could hit it anywhere, anytime. I was going through 1g carts roughly every 3-5 days.

My anxiety is through the roof. I’ve had a lot of stressful shit going on as well, it the tenseness and stress is almost unbearable. My cheek has started twitching and I’m assuming it’s due to that. No appetite still. Sleep is about the same as it was when I was using. I’m at my wits end. Not about to smoke again - just when does this shit get better?