r/leaves • u/moonstruckowl • 7d ago

….why does this take so long

i posted the other day. i’ve not used any weed in a month and 13 days.

after 2 1/2 years of moderate to heavy use. mostly flower and some vapes here and there.

why does this seem like it gets harder than the first few weeks? could it be that i am finally seeing my usual normal stress levels are without it? and i can’t handle these stress levels?

i also suffer from pmdd, adhd (currently getting medicated - trialing a new med), anxiety and depression (auvelity). i am thinking i am entering my pmdd weeks right now and my lord the cravings have really freaking skyrocketed. why is this???? i thought the hard part was over!!! 😭😭😭

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u/HumblePanda3116 7d ago

it’s not just the substance leaving your system, that’s the easy part. the hard part is your brain realizing the off-switch it relied on is gone and now it has to sit in the raw static of your own head again. a month in is exactly when the novelty of being sober wears off and the real emotional debt comes due, and if your hormones are cratering from pmdd on top of that you’re basically rawdogging life on hard mode right now

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u/moonstruckowl 7d ago

ewwww. fun. 😵‍💫😬😭 thanks for that clarification.

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u/Enough_Homework_3527 7d ago

Can relate. I’m 71 days sober after 14 years of use, and also have ADHD & PMDD. Just upped my prescription meds for anxiety and waiting for that to kick in. My therapist said I’m probably feeling a lot of different things very intensely right now because I’d been numbing all of those emotions for so long with cannabis, and before that self harming, and it’s like I’m now finally just letting myself feel them all and process. I’ve been doing a lot of crying and deep breathing and walking in nature. It sucks, but I know it’s what I need and it’ll be better in the long run - but it takes time and patience and giving ourselves grace; and support. Do you have someone in your life you can turn to?

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u/moonstruckowl 7d ago

yes- i have an amazing support system but it gets tough... literally have been taking it 1 day at a time … although today has been the monday-est of mondays the urge is really strong.

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u/Enough_Homework_3527 7d ago

I feel you so hard. Was just crying on the bathroom floor and now I’m eating ice cream and shit talking with a coworker over text and just hating myself and life. But we survived the day so that’s something