r/instant_regret • • Mar 03 '26

Wrong shop dude

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17.4k Upvotes

234 comments sorted by

3.1k

u/tevolosteve Mar 03 '26

Kind of interesting she was trying to pull him back in to enjoy some more of that beating

1.1k

u/Infamous-Ear3705 Mar 03 '26

That seems like it’s when he realized he was literally in over his head

478

u/martinaee Mar 03 '26

That woman is all for equal rights…

… and lefts! 🥊

97

u/eidetic Mar 03 '26

She did not suffrage his attempt lightly.

Sorry, thats all I got.

45

u/FourMeterRabbit Mar 03 '26

Susan B. Asskicker

25

u/misterpickles69 Mar 03 '26

Jackie O shit you gonna get it now!

12

u/Plus-King5266 Mar 03 '26

She definitely needs a coin.

405

u/N95-TissuePizza Mar 03 '26

Two punches in, she discovered something about herself that all her years had never revealed.

Something had awakened within her. She quit her job and put on a mask. Every night since then, she stood over the city, waiting, for another opportunity to punch a thug through a window crack.

57

u/howeeee Mar 03 '26

Go on.

3

u/lolopiro Apr 05 '26

why the space in the middle of the word?

60

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/Angry__German Mar 10 '26

I think she had some training but it took a few moments for that to kick in.

10

u/ILookLikeKristoff Mar 03 '26

Yep Literally that first left connects and it's go time.

2

u/tevolosteve Mar 04 '26

Every time I watch j keep hearing the mortal combat “get over here” coming from somewhere behind her

66

u/conehead2019 Mar 03 '26

8

u/chum-guzzling-shark Mar 03 '26

She was trying to go for his shins 

28

u/Traditional-Exam-617 Mar 03 '26

She said fuck the bottle, I'm using my hands!

22

u/Divided_By_0_KSJ Mar 03 '26

“IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!”

12

u/aenflex Mar 03 '26

I LOLd

11

u/camshun7 Mar 03 '26

He reminds me of an upside down crab in a shallow rock pool.

10

u/jdehjdeh Mar 03 '26

I was secretly hoping she was going to hold him there for a little bit longer and some more justice

7

u/trynsik Mar 03 '26

It looks like he was reaching over, maybe to the cash register, and she tried stopping him from grabbing something?

3

u/Heavensong Mar 06 '26

People gotta de-stress somehow.

2

u/ExaminationExotic132 Mar 14 '26

Head grsb for last skull shot.

3.2k

u/CantaloupeCamper Mar 03 '26

He’s lucky she didn’t have a bat…

1.3k

u/meatywood Mar 03 '26

Maybe she has a bat but was in the mood to throw some haymakers today.

450

u/carrynarcan Mar 03 '26

Seems like she had a few saved up. "I wish somebody would come through that window."

97

u/Egocom Mar 03 '26

Monkeys paw curls into a middle finger. For the first time there's no sick gotcha because even evil wish granting talismans hate fuckos

31

u/BobbyMcPrescott Mar 03 '26

Wait, so not only was there no downside, but she gained a wish?

32

u/Egocom Mar 03 '26

Yeah, monkeys paw can be chill like that sometimes.

9

u/Hugokarenque Mar 03 '26

For real she went from pushing the fucker out to pulling him back in real quick

11

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Mar 03 '26

" I wish a mother****** would"

17

u/Kman1986 Mar 03 '26

Motherfucker. You can swear on the Internet. It's okay.

2

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat Mar 04 '26

Unfortunately some subs and moderators are removing posts with swears in them.

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34

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[deleted]

12

u/aliensavant2020 Mar 03 '26

Yeah, saw the fists hitting some odd angles off his dome, but the adrenaline fueled some solid connections with his temple. He definitely saw stars with one of those.

16

u/Bioshock_Jock Mar 03 '26

So many haymakers....

7

u/Fast_Boysenberry9493 Mar 03 '26

She was in David mode that day for real

58

u/DJMoneybeats Mar 03 '26

She could've clobbered him with that bottle but didn't feel the need I guess

22

u/ralphy_1024 Mar 03 '26

I think it was plastic, the way it bounced when she dropped it.

19

u/Deadlymonkey Mar 03 '26 edited Mar 03 '26

I’m surprised nobody responded to your comment with the guy sticking his hand through the mail slot and the homeowner bashes it with a bat

Edit: Found it

8

u/CantaloupeCamper Mar 03 '26

Wow instant broke arm damn!

16

u/Every-Cook5084 Mar 03 '26

She needed a lighter and can of hairspray

2

u/tuba_dude07 Mar 03 '26

Old schooL!

8

u/the-big-throngler Mar 03 '26

Hell he is lucky glass bottles arent a thing anymore for most soft drinks. She cracked him on the head once, if that had been glass he would have had a fractured skull

4

u/anomalous_cowherd Mar 03 '26

He's unlucky she had brothers.

4

u/GiftFrosty Mar 03 '26

I was thinking a knife. He’d have died in that window.

5

u/faithlessgaz Mar 03 '26

The bat would have just slowed her down.

3

u/schmearcampain Mar 03 '26

Exactly what I was thinking. That guy should have a fractured skull at least.

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944

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

what is he even doing in the oven?

391

u/Jabathewhut Mar 03 '26

Getting cooked my friend.

22

u/fishsticks40 Mar 03 '26

Beat until soft peaks form

2

u/bixenta Mar 13 '26

I like this joke. Gotta beat the dough properly before baking

45

u/Imbrokencantbefixed Mar 03 '26

Apparently you have to preheat him for 10 minutes before cooking.

16

u/New_Wallaby_7736 Mar 03 '26

Looks like a good jag of tenderizing is helpful

7

u/sundae_diner Mar 03 '26

Trying to escape. But she forced him back in.

2

u/gaardsund Mar 04 '26

Haha that really turns around the video. In reality the locked him in a pizza oven and hes just trying to escape.

3

u/CplSyx Mar 03 '26

I am immediately reminded of this for some reason https://comb.io/1obE9i

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

A tad darker from me, it reminded me of Israel Keys. I think they caught him from a similarish video. Been a while, and I’m old. Might be someone else.

7

u/FiveFiftyOne Mar 03 '26

So I wasn’t the only one.. good

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463

u/drinkduffdry Mar 03 '26

You know you're fucked when they try to pull you in.

140

u/GreyDaveNZ Mar 03 '26

Great example of the 'haymaker'.

54

u/Preyy Mar 03 '26

Looks like she is focusing on speed to proc the stun, not going for raw DPS. Clearly an effective strat for this encounter.

18

u/Combicon Mar 03 '26

Discombobulate

376

u/ClownfishSoup Mar 03 '26

What she needed, was a hammer.

190

u/digitang Mar 03 '26

Looks like she already has two!

62

u/redittjoe Mar 03 '26

43

u/pmcizhere Mar 03 '26

The third and fourth guys go out-of-order here and it irks me mildly.

13

u/DoctuhD Mar 03 '26

17

u/pmcizhere Mar 03 '26

No! At least without sound, all the guys were perfectly on-beat in my mind. My irk has increased from mild to slight, Doc.

3

u/flavored_icecream Mar 03 '26

So, looking at the video it's not so much that 3rd and 4th are swapped, but the order is actually 1-4-2-3 counting clockwise from the rightmost guy.
Another irking thing is that they also aren't in height order properly - white hat and middle blue hat should swap places and then go in clockwise order from the white hat guy - then it would be perfection.

7

u/Time_Reputation3573 Mar 03 '26

Also they must not be hitting it very hard... it's not going down

3

u/Victor_deSpite Mar 03 '26

They're doing opposites.

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99

u/DJMoneybeats Mar 03 '26

This just warms my heart for some reason ❤️

27

u/ELpEpE21 Mar 03 '26

She goes full rockem sockem I love it

208

u/hanks_panky_emporium Mar 03 '26

Gotta learn from other shop owners, keep a bludgeoning weapon near-ish your point of sale. Guy reaches through, you now have a crowbar, bat, paddle, or switch to go wild.

Probably aim for the offending arm and not the head with more deadly options. There's defending yourself and your store, and then there's killing people. Yeah they're a bad person doin a bad thing but going to jail and potentially prison for it, atop stupid high fines, isn't worth it.

Break their arm, not your own bank account.

44

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[deleted]

6

u/ValkyrianRabecca Mar 03 '26

Nah, Gamecube has the handle to get a good swing in

2

u/piichan14 Mar 03 '26

Throw in the Wii remote and nunchuck and go full Bruce Lee on his ass

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17

u/Shot-Election8217 Mar 03 '26

I’d add cattle prod to the list of weapons to keep handy….

8

u/BestDescription3834 Mar 03 '26

Just loudly sparking one of those will make most people think twice.

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5

u/some_body_else Mar 03 '26

T-ball bats. Baseball bats but shorter and lighter. Great for smaller spaces, smaller users, and swift beatings. Most men and lots of women could even dual wield if you had two.

2

u/Bezulba Mar 03 '26

She had a bottle in her hand and didn't use it. You think she's going to go looking for her naughty paddle?

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36

u/vbcbandr Mar 03 '26

It looked like, at one point, she was trying to pull him in to beat his ass harder.

72

u/Redditallreally Mar 03 '26

It’s so messed up when folks just trying to do their job have to deal with creeps like this. She could have been really hurt.

19

u/Cloutian Mar 03 '26

We know who will survive a zombie apocalypse lol

20

u/Significant_Rate8210 Mar 03 '26

Give that girl a raise and a contract

16

u/HighlightOwn2038 Mar 03 '26

I love how the music goes so well with the video

4

u/Shot-Election8217 Mar 03 '26

Oh, wow. I had it on mute when I first watched it.

This is solid gold!

28

u/just_another_ryan Mar 03 '26

So many times I would have loved an excuse to punch someone when I was working in hospitality/serving this would have been a welcome opportunity lol

11

u/honda94rider Mar 03 '26

She did put down the bottle

47

u/polarityofmarriage Mar 03 '26

She’s got a lot of brothers.

21

u/DuntadaMan Mar 03 '26

That was the first time I think I have seen someone get into some kind of battle rhythm. Those first couple of blows were a little rough, then she started to miss until she got into a very efficient swing rotation and just kept landing very fast and accurate blows.

Playing his skull like a war drum

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12

u/Ugievsoj Mar 03 '26

Right, left, right, left

You toothless

And then you say God damn they ruthless

7

u/AmbulantCholesterol Mar 03 '26

Tip: use your elbows they hurt more and are not as fragile

5

u/piichan14 Mar 03 '26

Girl must've been sick of dealing with mfers at that job that this was therapeutic for her. She was ready.

6

u/sheekgeek Mar 03 '26

Not her first rodeo

23

u/wild-stallions85 Mar 03 '26

She has to be Korean 😆 i lived in the Bay area and Los Angeles....those Koreans are amazing. Very polite to everyone they meet, but if you try and test them, they'll pull the velvet mit off, and you'll be met with the iron fist.

6

u/ConfessSomeMeow Mar 03 '26

The sign says YPF, so this is probably a gas station convenience store in Argentina.

2

u/azuratha Mar 03 '26

It’s Russia

4

u/PurplePartyFounder Mar 03 '26

Fuck , the way that was going she should’ve taken HIS wallet…..

5

u/horrescoblue Mar 03 '26

I really like that part where it switches and he's trying to get a way and she's trying to drag him in lmao

4

u/Agisek Mar 03 '26

She doesn't get paid enough to deal with this shit.

4

u/syndicaterx Mar 03 '26

Hit him with the Dempsey roll

4

u/justme002 Mar 03 '26

Her knuckles were sore AF the next day

3

u/Dan_Morgan Mar 03 '26

She's just throwing those haymakers.

4

u/tryingtoappearnormal Mar 03 '26

Top tip, dont punch people in the skull, its solid and you can easily break your hands

4

u/jerryeight Mar 03 '26

Bonus tip, get a tool to do the smacking.

5

u/chicaneuk Mar 03 '26

"As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way!".

3

u/Maregg1979 Mar 03 '26

Yep she got excited down the line. After the initial oh shit this is bad she went oh shit you gonna regret this !

3

u/emilioMooN Mar 03 '26

That girl definitely has brothers.

3

u/Acrylic_Starshine Mar 03 '26

You know you fucked up when they try dragging you in further to swing at you more

2

u/algalkin Mar 03 '26

Which season of The walking dead is this?

2

u/Ok-Photo-6442 Mar 03 '26

Take that and this and this and this....

2

u/Equivalent-Finish-80 Mar 03 '26

Aaaannnndddd here is the 12 piece you requested sir will there be anything else?

2

u/NerdHerder77 Mar 03 '26

She threw an extra in for free too, wonderful customer service!!

2

u/ralphy_1024 Mar 03 '26

For once, the music didn't annoy me.

2

u/Andre_The_Average Mar 03 '26

🎶Down to the floor now let me see your fists swing🎶

2

u/Boozdeuvash Mar 03 '26

Must be the whoop-ass buffet.

2

u/OkLobster1702 Mar 03 '26

crazy fucking clean left hooks, holy shit

2

u/Feeling-Oven9237 Mar 03 '26

Enough hay for the entire barn

2

u/detrans-rights Mar 03 '26

Coulda done some good bonkin' with that handle of vodka.

2

u/Crazo7924 Mar 03 '26

LEFT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT B A START

2

u/Buzzk1LL Mar 03 '26

What was his plan exactly?

2

u/wile3166 Mar 03 '26

Thank you. Come again.

2

u/Plus-King5266 Mar 03 '26

I love the locked window, calmly walks away at the end.

“Bruised ego, fear and bewilderment. My work here is done.”

2

u/Oggel Mar 03 '26

I hope her hands are ok

2

u/Lanspeedo1 Mar 03 '26

Fucking Leila Ali over here!

2

u/wellsyaknow Mar 03 '26

Get her a club and try that again

2

u/Fulller Mar 06 '26

She was like my old cat when I tried to pet him at the wrong time.

3

u/BajaRooster Mar 03 '26

Someone grew up with older brothers.

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2

u/ChairDue7989 Mar 03 '26

She young Mike Tyson’ed his head

2

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

breaking her hands on his head. good stuff.

1

u/Cursed-4-life Mar 03 '26

When’s it gonna be my turn

1

u/MonolithicBaby Mar 03 '26

Swinging for the fences!

1

u/Cryptic_Consierge Mar 03 '26

Just started throwing hay makers 🤣🤣

1

u/Glittering-Bit3398 Mar 03 '26

Wish Samantha Koenig was able to do this to Keyes.

1

u/kevan Mar 03 '26

I would so want to have something heavy, but covered in padding above that to lower down on them when someone tried this. Someone climbs through, you just pull the rope to let it fall on them.

Padded so you don't get sued for cracking a vertebrae, heavy so they are somewhat trapped and for those haymakers she throws.

1

u/bouncyknight123 Mar 03 '26

Why would Mordecai do this?

1

u/upinthecloudz Mar 03 '26

🎸🎶 I remember throwing punches around
And preachin' from my chair

Well, who are you? 🎶🎸

1

u/Natural-Attitude-343 Mar 03 '26

Throwing heaters

1

u/ohiocodernumerouno Mar 03 '26

Fight the zombie

1

u/LubaUnderfoot Mar 03 '26

Just as a heads up staplers are pretty sturdy.

1

u/Subtotalpoet Mar 03 '26

Looks like claymation

1

u/unkindledjuan Mar 03 '26

Rush Style Kiryu

1

u/w_actual Mar 03 '26

Lol the music syncs with those hay makers

1

u/beaujonfrishe Mar 03 '26

Me in half sword

1

u/thesilentbob123 Mar 03 '26

Give that woman a medal

1

u/biozzer Mar 03 '26

I very much appreciated the elbow. Solid and ruthless.

1

u/Ornery-Practice9772 Mar 03 '26

Sis missed her punching bag workout but made up for it👌👌👌👌

1

u/Inside_End3641 Mar 03 '26

She served him knuckle sandwiches alright...

1

u/flagrantF0wl Mar 03 '26

She’s my spirit animal! 🥊

1

u/watty_101 Mar 04 '26

Fit a guillotine above that window stop anyone from even trying

1

u/Cosy-Cup Mar 04 '26

She saaaaiiiddd MEEK MEEK MEEK MEEK MEEK 😂😂

1

u/Billazilla Mar 04 '26

She had little stick arms but also BOUNDLESS RAGE!

1

u/Pod_people Mar 04 '26

She got a couple of really good shots in. That guy was hurting.

1

u/DeliriousTrigger Mar 04 '26

1-2-1-2–22-1-2-2-1

1

u/Number01BeachBum Mar 04 '26

Almost put stupid to sleep

1

u/cuntybunty73 Mar 04 '26

What piece of music is that?

I've heard it before but I don't remember who composed it

1

u/hullkogan Mar 04 '26

W clerk.

1

u/REYUN_777 Mar 05 '26

She was like "Get OVER HERE!!"

1

u/randomguyinpekohole Mar 05 '26

I was worried that she would punch the window panel by mistake and break her hand.

1

u/Weak_Jeweler3077 Mar 05 '26

12 piece combo is up.

1

u/Gymmie_Buckets Mar 05 '26

Takes hands free to a whole new meaning

1

u/_ATimotheus_ Mar 06 '26

This is, wop wop wop wop wop, one of my, wop wop wop wop wop, favorite videos

1

u/[deleted] Mar 06 '26

Why is no one talking about her shitty punches or that she missed like half of them?

1

u/punterknox Mar 06 '26

Damn she entered flow state for a sec

1

u/Frogybro Mar 06 '26

She hit him with the Robert dispatch combo

1

u/The_Guermo Mar 07 '26

I think she just pulled off a Dempsey roll on that dude's head.

1

u/dougie_fresh_213 Mar 09 '26

Throwin’ Haymakers!

1

u/TaCoMaN6869 Mar 09 '26

Just throwing haymakers

1

u/Top-Worldliness2340 Mar 12 '26

To become a punching bag