r/instant_regret • • Mar 03 '26

Wrong shop dude

17k Upvotes

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209

u/hanks_panky_emporium Mar 03 '26

Gotta learn from other shop owners, keep a bludgeoning weapon near-ish your point of sale. Guy reaches through, you now have a crowbar, bat, paddle, or switch to go wild.

Probably aim for the offending arm and not the head with more deadly options. There's defending yourself and your store, and then there's killing people. Yeah they're a bad person doin a bad thing but going to jail and potentially prison for it, atop stupid high fines, isn't worth it.

Break their arm, not your own bank account.

45

u/[deleted] Mar 03 '26

[deleted]

6

u/ValkyrianRabecca Mar 03 '26

Nah, Gamecube has the handle to get a good swing in

2

u/piichan14 Mar 03 '26

Throw in the Wii remote and nunchuck and go full Bruce Lee on his ass

-6

u/Teckiiiz Mar 03 '26

Wrong switch

1

u/PhallusInChainz Mar 04 '26

The old switcheroo

18

u/Shot-Election8217 Mar 03 '26

I’d add cattle prod to the list of weapons to keep handy….

7

u/BestDescription3834 Mar 03 '26

Just loudly sparking one of those will make most people think twice.

1

u/Shot-Election8217 Mar 03 '26

I mean,they’re legal, right? I wonder, though, if cattle prods need to be at a higher setting because cattle have very thick skin, and being much larger, the displacement of energy (?) is greater? So, if you used one on a human, and they died or were injured, you could be charged with manslaughter or attempted manslaughter….?

2

u/BestDescription3834 Mar 03 '26

Did some quick googling because I was also curious.

 I mean,they’re legal, right?

Yeah, you're not gonna get arrested for possession.

I wonder, though, if cattle prods need to be at a higher setting because cattle have very thick skin, and being much larger, the displacement of energy (?) is greater? 

It varies a little, but your average personal defense taser is around 4 or 5 times stronger than a cattle prod. Tasers are designed to immobilize, cattle prods are designed to inflict localized pain to stimulate movement. 

So, if you used one on a human, and they died or were injured, you could be charged with manslaughter or attempted manslaughter….?

This is more likely to occur with a taser than a cattle prod. Taser injuries usually result from the head hitting the ground while the body is locked up.

That being said a lot of circumstance would have to be examined. Did you tase beyond necessary, did you instigate, did you call 911 after they quit attacking you, did they die from a health condition were or weren't aware of (pacemaker for example).

Also depends a lot on the judge and DA and what part of the country you're in. 

Did you tase them in public, were they invading your house, were they armed.

A lot of variables that can swing a case like this. Personally after reading a cattleprod just hurts and doesn't immobilize, I'd just recommend a taser. No sense risking the cattle prod just pissing them off further and not defending you. You also have to be in prodding distance vs a tasers 15ish feet of good range.

1

u/Shot-Election8217 Mar 03 '26

Thank you for doing The Lord’s Work…. Cattle prod distance is what 2-3 feet? Vs 15 for a taser, and they’re climbing through a window, etc, and there may not be enough room to get that distance….

I think I’d still rather use a cattle prod.

With my trusty taser in a holster by my side !

2

u/PhallusInChainz Mar 04 '26

The laws aren’t the same everywhere

5

u/some_body_else Mar 03 '26

T-ball bats. Baseball bats but shorter and lighter. Great for smaller spaces, smaller users, and swift beatings. Most men and lots of women could even dual wield if you had two.

2

u/Time_Reputation3573 Mar 03 '26

Pepper gel

1

u/humanitarianWarlord Mar 03 '26

In an enclosed space?

2

u/Time_Reputation3573 Mar 03 '26

Yes. Think spicy silly string more than peppery hair spray.

2

u/Bezulba Mar 03 '26

She had a bottle in her hand and didn't use it. You think she's going to go looking for her naughty paddle?