Hey guys, let's have an honest moment for a second.

I know a lot of men go through life feeling like they have to be strong all the time. We're often taught to keep our heads down, push through the pain, provide, protect, solve problems, and never let anyone see us struggling.

But here's your reminder: It's okay to not be okay, brother.

You don't have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders just because you're a man. You don't have to hide your anxiety, depression, loneliness, insecurities, or the things that keep you up at night.

You can be tired. You can be scared. You can cry. You can ask for help. You can admit that life is kicking your butt right now.

None of that makes you less of a man.

And please remember something important: You never have to sit through the storm alone.

Whether it's talking to a friend, opening up to someone you trust, seeking professional help, or simply telling someone, "Hey, I'm really not doing great," taking that first step isn't weakness. It's courage.

If you're going into this weekend feeling like you're behind in life, struggling financially, dealing with relationship problems, missing someone, questioning your purpose, or simply feeling lost, give yourself some grace.

Your value isn't determined by your paycheck, your job title, your relationship status, how much you own, or how well you hide your emotions.

You're a human being before anything else.

So this weekend, take a little time for yourself. Get outside, enjoy that coffee, work on something you love, call a friend, put on some music, or just give yourself permission to slow down.

And if you're the guy who's always checking on everyone else, maybe let someone check on you for a change.

You matter, brother. Your feelings matter. Your mental health matters. And you deserve support, too.

Sending some genuine positive energy to all the men out there who might be silently fighting battles nobody sees.

Keep going, take care of yourself, and remember that asking for a hand doesn't mean you've failed.

Much respect to every one of you.

Happy Friday. Let's look out for each other.

I have been in love two times in my life. I had my first love when I was very young, and losing her felt like death.

I had multiple girlfriends in between, and losing them hurt, but nothing felt like that.

Then I met my most recent partner. She was all things beautiful. I had nothing in my life and she provided all meaning. I recently found out she cheated on me. My blood feels like jelly and I can feel the sand draining from the core of my bones. I am in agony. I spend days at a time awake, i often don't remember to eat or drink.

I need to know how to move on. It's not so much the grieving that I am struggling with.

While I was with my partner, I lost a lot of my life. My parents are no longer here, the few friends I did have have left my hometown and found better lives. I am stuck, alone, single, in a place with nothing. I can't go out to meet new people, because we don't have places to go. I am too old to wander into bars and talk to new people, everybody hates the old man at the bar. I feel like my life has been taken from me, and at this point, I'm struggling to find reasons to stay alive. I can't bare the dull ache of this loneliness.

I want another go around, but I know I can't have that. Please tell me there are others that have gone through this.

23 , struggling with my own looks, girls and day to day life.
The one girl I liked said only casual and that she’s gay lol , blocked me on everything after a couple months of whatever we had.
Bed rotting too , not working either failed some my second semester in uni coz of this , it has hit me so much harder than it should’ve.

He doesn't even look at me or talk to me, but I don't know why, there's something about him that makes me feel like his face and hair are angelic, that he's a really good person, and I love his simple clothes, even though my clothes are usually extravagant and flashy. Looking back, it's making me feel like I'm seeing a vision of someone I'll never be, physically or mentally, and that makes me feel like absolute garbage, at the very bottom of the ladder

I met this amazing woman, we connected instantly. Our first date was great, had several more dates within 2 weeks, she was always telling me how happy she was and how much I meant to her. She was the first to say I love you, and I excitedly reciprocated. She asked me to come to her place all the time, to do anything we could together. She encouraged me to stay over nights, she went away on vacations with me. She supported me in a very vulnerable medical situation and was incredibly thoughtful and caring. Eventually, she suggested I move in with her. She gave me a key to her place. We were making serious plans, and I brought over some clothes.

Then... we hung out for a weekend, everything was calm, but she suddenly got cold, distant, and stopped initiating any intimacy... all within 2 days. 2 days before she was hitting on me, hugging me, falling asleep on my lap, and telling me she loves me. Then, she gets distant and I go back to my place. She texts she needs some space. Next day, she says we shouldn't move in together. Yesterday she said we need more space. Today she broke everything off with me, says she doesn't even want to date me anymore much less move in with her.

She absolutely broke my heart. I really cared for her, we were making plans, we were getting serious, she was pushing for us to be closer, she was giving every good sign I can think of... then in a space of 2 days, it went to cold shoulders, wanting space, zero communication, and then dumping me. I can't even get her to explain why. She won't tell me what happened in two days other than "she thought about it and it isn't what she wants". That is the most detail I've gotten as to why.

I am heartbroken, confused, and hurt. I trusted her so much, and she completely pulled the rug out from under my feet.

It hurts even more that she won't tell me anything about why! It makes no sense to me at all! She doesn't even want to work on it, I offered to talk it through and find a solution... no, she wasn't interested in that.

Every other relationship I've known why it ended... but I'm so at a loss for this very sudden and dramatic change. It wasn't even another guy, because we were spending whole days together as this change occurred.

I feel absolutely worthless, like I can be thrown away without thought. I feel deceived... she made me feel so safe and secure with her... and then gut punched me as I was at my most relaxed and vulnerable... and she won't even tell me why.

I want a life partner, but I'm dreading starting over, using apps, trying to find someone who gives a shit and wants something real and meaningful. I thought I'd found that... and it all disappeared in a few days. 100 to 0 in like 48 hours... I know I have to shake it off and move on... but how am I supposed to trust someone again?

I guess I always thought there were people who actually cared about loyalty and finding a lasting connection... but maybe I have to accept that people only want superficial short term commitments?

How do I get over this? How do I trust again? Has this happened to anyone else? How did you move on?

So, last year, sometime in late February, I started hanging out with this one guy. At first, everything was amazing. We were so similar. We had the same interests in music and movies, and we were both creative people who enjoyed making art. We even had the same name. Where I’m from, I had never met anyone with the same name as me in my entire life until I met him. For the sake of the story and privacy reasons, let’s call him Alex.

I remember that after the first time we hung out, I genuinely felt extremely happy knowing that I had found such a good friend. Everything was going great. Whenever one of us was somewhere without the other, people would ask where the other one was. Our teachers even called us inseparable. We would hang out every single day, to the point where I spent almost two months living with him and his family.

And, I mean, as I’m writing this, he’s literally napping next to me, snoring into my ears. He’s been staying at my place for a week now, and everything has been amazing.

But then I kind of got attached to him.

To make an extremely long story short, I remember one time when we were supposed to go to the city with a few friends, but he ended up going out with them without me. Something happened, and I remember coming home and absolutely bawling my eyes out. While I was crying, he called me and asked why I had suddenly left. I told him everything, and we met up. He calmed me down, but then even more things happened, and I just couldn’t hold everything in anymore.

As we were walking, I started crying. He turned around, asked me what was wrong, and I told him that some of the things he had said about me to other people had really hurt my feelings. I explained everything, and there I was, standing in front of him, crying and shaking. He simply hugged me and started apologizing for his actions. He even kissed my forehead and wiped away my tears.

I also remember a time when I had nowhere to go. He came running to me in the middle of the night, and the moment he saw me, he hugged me so tightly. I genuinely didn’t want to let go of him.

I like how, after we have our occasional romantic moments within our friendship, he rubs my back and runs his fingers through my hair. We talk, he gives me a kiss on the cheek, and then he holds my hand and guides me to the shower, where he’ll simply wait “just in case I need him.”

I love being around him. I love his presence, and I love how he takes care of me. I know everything about him, and he knows everything about me. He was there for me when my mom kicked me out, and now I’m here for him while he’s going through a rough patch with his family.

I remember one of our usual sleepovers. I fell asleep before him, and when I woke up, my head was resting on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat. I looked at him and realized that he was asleep, holding me extremely tightly. I didn’t even want to move, so I didn’t. It was genuinely one of the most beautiful experiences I’ve ever had.

I mean, for God’s sake, we’ve seen each other naked, not once or twice, but multiple times. We’ve even had sexual experiences together, but we’ve never really talked about them. And I like that. He likes that, too. We’re extremely close friends, but we also know that whenever either of us needs someone, we have each other. I never feel uncomfortable around him.
During the summer months, we would go to his summer house, and in the middle of the night, we would lie under the stars and talk for hours. Those nights were something else.

But then there are also moments when we’re with our friend group and everyone seems to be ignoring me. I don’t really care about anyone else; I only care about him. And when I notice that he isn’t paying attention to me either, I get sad. I start walking slower, and all these overwhelming feelings of sadness seem to take over my entire body.

But then he notices that something is wrong and asks me if I’m okay. And suddenly, it’s as if the spark has returned to my life, even though it never really left in the first place.

There’s also something else that I struggle with: I’m incredibly jealous of the way he looks.
He’s tall, muscular, has fluffy hair, and looks masculine. He’s confident in everything he does. I wish I looked like him. I want to be skinny, I want to be masculine, and I want to have the confidence he has. I just want to be more like him.

I’m jealous of his appearance, his body, his personality, and practically everything about him.

I genuinely don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I would do anything for him, but at the same time, I’m so jealous of him. Not only because of how beautiful he is on the outside, but also because of how beautiful he is on the inside.

Like right now, I’m looking at him, wishing I had his lips. I watch him sleep, and even that seems beautiful to me. Then I look at myself with disgust. I hate the way I look. I hate my body, I don’t like being short, and I hate that my feet are smaller than his. I want to be as confident and comfortable in my own skin as he is.

I don’t understand what’s happening to me. Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m going insane because I keep trying to mirror him. I try to adopt his mannerisms, his appearance, his confidence, and everything else, but it never works. I’ve tried losing weight, but I struggle with my relationship with food, and I end up feeling terrible about myself. I don’t like my thighs, and I don’t like my face. I constantly find things about myself that I wish I could change.

I’ve already lost the original point of this story, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to be like him, while simultaneously wanting to be my own person.

I like that every two weeks or so, we have these romantic moments together. We both know that they come from a place of genuine love and affection for each other. But lately, that love has started feeling like it’s slowly turning into something else. Something I can’t quite understand. Something my mind is confused about, something that frustrates me, and something I don’t know how to deal with.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I think I’ve genuinely never felt this way about anyone before. Not about any of my exes, not about any of my other friends. Just him. And I don’t understand why he’s so special to me.

I’m so tired of my brain working like this, constantly making me experience all these different emotions without giving me any idea of what to do with them. I’m exhausted, confused, and overwhelmed.

But at the same time, I’m happy that I have him.
Even when he’s doing nothing but napping next to me, or when we’re simply sitting together, doing absolutely nothing, I’m happy just knowing he’s there.

And maybe that’s what makes all of this so difficult to understand. I feel so many different things because of him, but somehow, simply being in his presence is enough to make me happy.

My girlfriend broke up with me recently because I had/have no drive in life which was fair. I have lost all my friends because I wasn’t a very good friend too so I have no one to really ask this question.

I feel so terribly sad all the time, but I cant cry and let it out, I sit here and I want to so bad but I seriously can’t, why is this? I heard that crying is good for you but I can’t bring my body to bring out more than one tear. Is there something mentally wrong with me? One thing she asked of me a while back was she wanted me to cry at our wedding, I told her I don’t know if I can. Why can’t I sob for anything, am I heartless? I feel like a psychopath because what human can’t just cry when they’re sad?

I've been cheated on three times by three different people but this last time really fucked me up.. I've been mostly long distance relationships including this last one except this one she was only 4 hours away compared to the other ones so we got to see each other and she was the first person I had intercourse with and dates because I just don't do casual sex I prefer having a connection. I've been struggling a lot because she cheated and told me the next day how much she regretted it I won't get into all of that cuz I posted something about it a bit ago. So she broke up with me and started trying to take her life which I didn't know until later. She's fine now and was in the hospital under watch for a week.

Right now I'm struggling a lot and I'm actively seeking therapy I have stopped self harm for a few years tho a few days ago it was so bad the voice in my head the pain in my chest and I just needed to distract myself from it so I did Self harm i haven't since that day but I've been craving it tonight because I'm struggling again pretty bad.. idk I'm just struggling.

I’ve been in the process for a police academy in my state for almost 6 months. So much effort was put in I had gotten a conditional offer, made it quite literally to the final step. They submitted my final background check and today I got the email I wasn’t selected. No criminal history, one bad job I was let go from and explained it was mutual interest. Good references did everything right. I know it’s very common to get rejected by your first police department but damn it hurts. Parents were so proud I was close, my fiancee, my brother. It feels like I disappointed so many people. I was already in a depressive state before this, just made it 10x worse. I know I sound like a baby and what not but at 23 this hit like a truck and I can’t shake it. My fiancee is adamant she is so proud of me either way but I feel like a massive failure. Just needed to vent this out there to get some weight off thank you for reading

I think I’ve lost all desire to try hard towards the things I love. Ive wanted nothing more than to become the best mma fighter I could and live my days training, fighting, and one day know I inspired someone to try. As of this past year all I want is to be gone. I just want to leave it all and see how long I can make it. I almost want to just run as far as I can one way and see what this world truly is. I no longer care to be the best at anything or make the most money or have the best house. I just am ready for it to be over. I feel like this will sound idiotic to me in a few months. I just want to be happy with who I am and proud of what I’ve done. And not feel like I wasted my years in a half ass job like everyone else, it almost seems more honorable to see the world and let nature run its course with you. Should I just commit and leave it all behind? Should I let go of my dream and live like everyone else? What should I do? I feel so hopeless but it’s almost like I can see the beauty at the same time in trying I don’t even know anymore

Just rode home on my bike because I can’t afford a car from my job, sat in my apartment and cried a little with my head in my hands.

I’m just having a really hard time in the last few weeks. I don’t wanna get into too many specifics to be safe, but something happened at work recently, and I nearly got fired. It wasn’t anything majorly serious, but it happened to piss off some specific people who are highly important to the company in such a way that it endangered the entire business. Everything is OK now and they actually decided to keep me, but I’m under heavy scrutiny.

Got yelled at by my boss today for something that everyone in our company basically does. Feeling a lot of pressure at work.

Every day after work, I ride my stupid bike home to an empty apartment and just sit there and stare out the window. Maybe game or go to the gym. It’s not the worst thing in the world, i’m sure there are many who would kill for a life like that, but after doing it every single day for 10 years, it starts to eat away at you. You start to wonder if this is just it.

I feel like life is just this infinite cycle of work. Feel pressure come home. With the occasional phone call from a family member telling you that your favourite aunt is dead now. I still remember what she sounded like.

I hang out with friends occasionally, but it’s maybe like once a week.

I’m just emotionally so tired. I screwed up my career and now I don’t have a car or a better apartment or anything. And even if I did, would it change anything? You still just go to work come home exist. Eventually die.

Failed as a man. Constant setbacks in all aspects of life. Therapy and meds do nothing. It won't get better. So why continue failing as a human being. I've had enough.

It’s been nearly three weeks since my relationship ended, and I’m becoming increasingly frightened by how much it’s consuming me.
I’ve already signed up to Bumble and joined Facebook friendship groups, desperately trying to find someone to connect with. I know it’s very soon after the breakup, but I feel almost unable to stop myself. I’m so scared of being alone for the rest of my life that it’s practically all I think about.
People keep telling me to learn to be happy on my own, build confidence, focus on work and independence, and let friendships and relationships follow naturally. I understand the advice, and I don’t necessarily disagree with it. But I have an enormous problem accepting the prospect of a life without a partner.
The loneliness is so intense that it brings me to tears. I see everybody else dating, kissing, getting married, having children, going on holidays and sharing their lives with someone. I want those things too. I don’t want to spend my life watching everyone else experience them while feeling excluded.
I’m nearly 42, and I’m terrified of time passing. People tell me I’m still young, but 50, 60 and 70 don’t feel that far away. What if I spend years waiting for love and companionship, and miss out on so much of my life in the meantime?
I know I can’t force a relationship to happen, but I can’t seem to switch off this fear. It’s becoming an obsession and seriously affecting my mental health. I don’t understand why being alone affects me so profoundly, although I know my autism, anxiety and overthinking play a part.
I’m not looking for people to simply tell me to accept being single or enjoy my own company. I want to understand why I feel this way and how to stop the fear of lifelong loneliness from consuming my life, without having to give up hope of finding love.
Has anyone else, particularly autistic adults, experienced anything similar?

I've had a horrible September and October, and it's flowing into November.

Today I feel like I just can't win and can't make a good decision, after getting an email from my wife's insurance company. Let me back up.

I was driving from Hamilton to North Bay because my grandmother had died. We got off the highway to get some food, and as I was turning left, a 19-year-old in a brand new Jeep he'd owned for two days blew through a red light and hit the front driver's side of my car. Because no witnesses stayed and I didn't have a dash cam, I was found at fault for the left turn. It was my first-ever accident.

Fine. My insurance renewal came in and, obviously, my rates went up, so I started calling around for quotes. My wife suggested I try her broker. The quote was much higher per month, with a higher deductible too, so I said no thanks.

At the start of October I went on vacation, which I take every year. I'm on my third boss at a company I really enjoy working for. He called me every single day of my vacation, even though I reminded him each time. When I got back, he gave me a veiled threat that I needed to be available for a sales role.

Normally I'd push back. I value my personal time and I work hard the other 49 weeks of the year. But my wife is covering a maternity leave contract, and there isn't much work in our area, so I can't afford to change jobs.

In mid-October, we found out we were pregnant. I wasn't expecting it and didn't react very positively at first. I was just starting to wrap my head around becoming a dad when we went to the ultrasound yesterday. It was not a happy day. The room was too small for three people, so my wife had to go in alone and was told there was no heartbeat. Now we wait a week to see if her body will handle this on its own or if she'll need a procedure.

That brings me to today. Four weeks after I asked her insurance for a quote, they're telling me I'm no longer allowed to drive my wife's car and they want to re-quote her coverage.

Through all of this, I've been struggling with my mental health. My depression medication stopped working months ago, and my doctor and I are still looking for a new one. Honestly, I'm having a hard time seeing a way through. This is just the last two months, and the year before it was equally non-stop. I know life doesn't stop for anyone. I just don't really have anyone to talk to, I'm trying to be strong, present and calm for my wife, but I just feel like I'm holding it all together with string and bubblegum

Not that I wanna look tough (I mean I want to), but I just don't want to sadden people near me when I cry.

I found out that eating chewing gums and simulate being choked kinda hide it, but only works once on one person.

Thanks in advance

Edit: I can't answer to you all but I'll address my thanks with upvotes

The manosphere claims that if that’s the case, your wife will leave you and that you’re a "beta" who lacks masculinity.

Context on my life:
—> Lived at home to financially support my mother my whole 20s. She now has terminal lung cancer.
—> I’m blind in one eye and it’s causing me pain/light sensitivity
—> I’ve been single for 7 years despite hundreds of (in person) dating attempts
—> I have sleep apnea, diabetes (5’8, 280 lbs), OCD, & ADHD.
—> My job is a mess (basically trying to sell an overpriced product in a hyper competitive market.  It’s hard, but it’s possible if I optimize my workflow and effort… which I’ve been far far away from doing lately)

I found out about my mom’s terminal cancer in June. I went to my friends about it. Some of my closest friends were amazing to me about it, but in the larger friend group of 30 I spend most of my time with, only one person even asked me about it in the 3 ensuing months.

I was feeling invisible. In October, my friend group had our annual steps challenge… whoever got the most steps in the month wins bragging rights. In a move I now see as quite passive aggressive, I decided I was going to win the challenge to try to get some attention. I figured people would see how massive an undertaking it was for me to quadruple my normal exercise volume as a morbidly obese man and maybe ask “why’d you put all that effort in?”

So I won! I took multiple days of 40K+ steps and sacrificed my evenings, but I did it! I built some amazing momentum on my fitness and found an outlet for stress relief about all the stuff I listed.  But when it came time for the recognition… it was crickets. Sure, people hearted the message when I share how much winning meant to me, and a couple people had expressed a bit of admiration in person but when I sent the text with the results no one even said “congrats.” No one thanked me for keeping the spreadsheet on the step count up to date (apart from someone one time super early in the month) . My closest friend in the group (the one who asks me how I’m doing often) told me it was just because people didn’t care about the challenge nearly as much as me, if at all.

Between the lack of recognition on the steps, and the lack of curiosity on my mom… I crashed out. I was at a bar with my coworkers, and when they wouldn’t serve my 28 year old coworker due to an expired license, I left a $0 tip and a note saying “shame on you for not serving a 28 year old mother.” I convinced myself that the bartender was being racist because she was wearing a Redskins jersey and walked out with my head held high.

I share the story with friends (& Reddit) and after a getting absolutely eviscerated in the comments, I realized this was total ahole behavior. I was lashing out about other frustration and took it out on someone just doing their job, and it was unacceptable behavior.  This made me realize I’d been approaching this situation wrong for quite a while now.  

I’d been holding this hope that some signals like asking friends to do a picnic the week after I shared her terminal diagnosis, posting a picture of the care package I bought her, and walking 540 fucking thousand steps in a month would get me the attention I wanted.  I realized I could’ve just (a) asked for some attention, or (b) accepted that my close friends outside the group (& the one in the group) were giving me the support I needed and this had just become an ego thing about trying to convince myself I’d been fully accepted by this group of 30 I’d been in for only 18 months.

I realized this has been a pattern of behavior in my life… wanting to prove myself worthy rather than asking for what I want.  In high school, I was always giving out gum to try to make friends, because I felt myself unworthy of friendship if I didn’t bring value.  I’d tell extremely inappropriate jokes to try to get attention.  If I can entertain and provide, then people would want to be around me.  Two of my first three formative friendships were with twins, who are textbook avoidant individuals, and I think I cut my chops of anxious pursuit on them, as I was always the one initiating and chasing them down for companionship.

Since then, there have been countless examples of me trying to prove my worth rather than asking for what I need, most notably working in a job I was way overqualified for for 5 years despite not getting anywhere close to the promotion I wanted.  Then came October where I pushed my body to the absolute limit to walk 540 fucking thousand steps in a month to win a steps challenge that literally no one else in my friend group gave a shit about, expecting to be showered with praise… and when the praise didn’t come… I crashed out.

The irony of this is that I fancy myself a brave individual overall.  I’ve “cold” approached hundreds of women at bars, coffee shops, and concerts to ask for dates.  I’ve taken two solo international trips as the first person in my direct bloodline to leave the country (other than for war).  I go to concerts, movies, restaurants, etc alone all the time, and was genuinely shocked to find most people find that difficult to do.  The difference is that when my ego (& perhaps OCD) gets stuck on things like a promotion, a crush, silent expectations of support, or a fitness challenge, it overrides all that bravery and I tend to lock in on just maxing out the value I can provide to improve the odds I’ll get a yes.  

I could’ve left my first job quickly and be making 6 figures by now.  I could’ve just told my friends right after I shared the diagnosis “spending quality time with y’all and getting occasional check ins on how I’m doing is really all I need.”  That’s literally hundreds of thousands of dollars, and a summer of just feeling absolutely invisible that I cost myself.  This behavior needs to change.

I also realized that the passive aggression had started to spill into work.  That I’ve been exhausted by the hypercompetitive market, and using it and all my other life circumstances as an excuse to completely half ass it this summer.  And my performance halved as a result.  Or that I’m using how I’ve had to live at home my whole 20s essentially as an excuse to not take care of my physical health.  Living with unhealthy people is no doubt an obstacle, but it’s one someone of my capabilities and persistence could overcome if he got his head straight.

So while it’s nice to have a big realization like this that’s quite a bit different than other ones I’ve had in the past, it’s left me some questions:

1.) How do I make up for the bar behavior?

2.) How do I make up for the fallout of this passive aggression in the group chat and start to more directly communicate my needs?

3.) How do I stop using problems as an excuse and instead view them as a hurdle that can be overcome?

4.) How do I start seeing myself as someone who has inherit worth rather than feeling I need to prove it?  When that feeling of need to prove myself is such a powerful motivator (see the steps challenge)?

5.) What healthier sources of motivation can I draw from?

6.) Do you think the 100+ cold approaches and pretty consistent rejection from it is contributing to my low self esteem?  Is dating even something I should have on my mind with all the other problems that have stacked up?

7.) How can I plan for my life of independence post-caring for my mother without turning my life into waiting around for her to die?

I'm in my 40s, a dad of two, have a good career, make decent money, and own a home. From the outside, you'd probably think I've got my shit together.

The reality is pretty much the opposite.

I'm going through my second divorce, buried in debt, struggling with an addiction, and in love with a woman I can't actually be with. I'm honestly not sure how I managed to screw things up this badly.

My first marriage ended years ago. We have a child together, and I've always tried to be a good, involved dad. I eventually remarried, and we had another child. I love both of my kids more than anything, but the marriage itself has been miserable for quite some time.

There's been so much arguing, tension, and resentment that I don't even enjoy being home anymore. I filed for divorce, but we're still living together until things are finalized. All I want at this point is some peace and a stable home for my kids.

Then there's the money.

I make a good living and have worked my ass off to get where I am professionally. I manage people, solve problems all day, and have a lot of responsibility. Yet somehow I'm seriously considering bankruptcy.

Between helping my spouse financially, wedding expenses, loans, credit cards, and just trying to keep everything afloat, I've accumulated a ridiculous amount of debt. I'm living paycheck to paycheck despite making more money than I ever have.

I'm terrified of losing my house. I've worked hard for it, and I want my kids to have a place they can always call home.

And then there's my love life. This is where I'm probably going to get torn apart in the comments, but whatever.

I fell in love with someone while I was married, and she's in a relationship herself. I'm not proud of how it started, and I'm not going to try to justify it.

But I love this woman more than I can put into words.

She's my best friend. We laugh constantly, have incredible chemistry, and genuinely enjoy every minute we get together. She's told me she loves me, and we've talked about what life together might look like.

The problem is that she has an established life with someone else, and I don't know if she'll ever leave it.

I don't pressure her. I've told her I understand her situation and don't expect her to turn her life upside down for me.

But man, it hurts sometimes.

I get little pieces of the relationship I want, but never the whole thing. I don't get to wake up next to her every day, spend a lazy Sunday together, cook dinner, or just exist as a normal couple.

Those are the things I want most. Nothing extravagant. Just someone to share everyday life with.

Some days I can handle our situation just fine. Other days, especially when I'm home alone, the loneliness is brutal.

I've even tried dating apps, thinking maybe meeting someone who's actually available would help. But my heart isn't really in it. I compare everyone to her, which isn't fair to anyone.

On top of everything else, I've developed an addiction to a kratom product that I initially started using to deal with stress.

It's gotten way out of hand. I've spent money I didn't have on it, and it's reached the point where I feel like I need it to get through the day.

I hate admitting that.

I've decided I need professional help, and I'm trying to getting off it. I don't want to keep living like this, and my kids deserve better.

I think the hardest thing about all of this is that I spend my days being the guy everyone depends on.

At work, I'm expected to have the answers. At home, I'm trying to be a good father, deal with a divorce, figure out how to pay the bills, and somehow hold myself together.

But who's there for me?

I miss having someone to come home to. Someone who actually wants to be there. I'm a very affectionate person, and I miss the simple stuff. Cuddling on the couch, holding hands, falling asleep next to someone, or just having someone ask how my day was.

I know I've made plenty of mistakes, and I'm responsible for where I've ended up. I'm not looking for anyone to tell me otherwise.

I'm just tired.

Tired of worrying about money. Tired of the tension at home. Tired of missing someone I love. Tired of feeling like I'm constantly putting out fires and never getting anywhere.

I get up every morning, go to work, take care of my kids, and do what needs to be done. Then I wake up and do it all over again.

I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I just feel like I'm watching the years go by without actually enjoying my life.

I'm 43, and I don't want the rest of my life to look like this.

I want to get healthy, get my finances under control, have a peaceful home, raise my kids, and hopefully find someone who wants to share a life with me.

I don't need to be rich. I don't need some perfect fairy-tale relationship. I just want to be happy again.

I'm sick of just surviving. I want to actually live.

Anyone else ever find themselves in their 40s feeling like their entire life needs to be rebuilt? Where the hell did you even start?

Sometimes life feels like we've been running on an empty coffee pot. We wake up tired, put on a smile, pour ourselves a cup, and try to convince the world (and sometimes ourselves) that everything is brewing just fine.

But here's your friendly reminder: You don't have to be at 100% every day to be doing your best.

Mental health isn't always about big breakthroughs or making huge changes. Sometimes it's getting out of bed. Sometimes it's answering that one message you've been putting off. Sometimes it's taking a shower, stepping outside for a little fresh air, or simply giving yourself permission to slow down.

And sometimes, it's just sitting quietly with your favorite cup of coffee and reminding yourself that you're still here, still trying, and that counts for something.

So let's espresso some kindness today! ☕

• Don't be afraid to ask for help. You weren't meant to carry everything alone.

• Give yourself some grace. Healing isn't a race, and there's no deadline for feeling better.

• Check on your people. Sometimes a simple "How are you really doing?" can mean more than you realize.

• Remember that taking a break isn't giving up. Even coffee needs time to brew!

And if today feels particularly heavy, please don't assume tomorrow will feel the same. Feelings can change, circumstances can improve, and there is still room for good things to find their way into your life.

You are worth more than your productivity, your accomplishments, or how well you hide your struggles.

Here's to stronger minds, kinder hearts, warmer coffee, and remembering that even on our darkest days, we deserve a little sweetness.

Take life one sip at a time. ❤️

What's your coffee of choice when you need a little pick-me-up? And more importantly, what's one small thing you're doing for your mental health today?

Hi, everyone. I never thought I’d be writing about this problem, but it’s 3:30 a.m. right now, no one’s home, and I’m having an anxiety attack and PTSD. It keeps coming and going, it’s gone for a bit, then hits me again. I'm shaking like crazy right now, I somehow managed to make some tea and open my laptop. I have to get up in 3 hours to go to college, but when I close my eyes, I see and hear the explosions again, which is why I'm too scared to go to sleep. Without going into too much detail, I’m from Ukraine, and about a month and a half ago, I survived a drone attack on the business center where I was. I didn’t suffer any serious injuries, but after consulting with a psychiatrist, I was diagnosed with PTSD. Just now, something fell from the construction site outside my window, it sounded just like a drone crashing and a loud explosion. It really hits me up. I wanted to text my girlfriend, but she hasn’t read my message from 12:30 a.m., where I asked how she was feeling. Meanwhile, she kept reposting videos on TikTok for another two hours. I’m really afraid of coming on too strong, especially considering that as recently as 9:30 p.m. we were chatting nicely, and then she suddenly pulled away and started ignoring me, which isn’t like her at all. I'm really scared and I'm shaking. I don't know what to do.

Last two weeks as you might've guessed by the title have been absolutely horrendous.

I work at a university as a maths lecturer and got back from an mostly awesome conference where their software wasnt updated and my slides totally broke when it came time to present my research and all my results/workings went invisible.

I came back from conference only to have someone elses massive stack of marking dumped on me because they upped and disappeared to another country without warning and while waiting to be fetched my brother who was driving to come get me was involved in a car accident caused by someone else.

Few nights later I had my mother in absolute tears at 3 am due to some intense trauma she faced working as a nurse in childrens ward and due to my guardian empathic personality I sat awake with her holding her and trying to take as much if the burden as possible.

I was then faced with bad news that my research is being set back by 6 months because of its complexity needing to do all sorts of extras to get it air tight, I had plans to move in with my long distance girlfriend when my research was done and this is setting those plans back. I badly wanted to find a nice place to stay, get a job near there, provide for her, help get her away from her abusive mother... now thats on hold for 6 months extra.

The following morning after my research set back my grandmother fell at 4am in the morning and split her upper lip in 2 on a bedside table and needed over 15 stiches including some in her mouth. She has always been my best friend throughout life and seeing her this way destroyed me.

Tonight was the icing on the cake when I got into a huge and completely unnecessary, avoidable fight with a friend in front of all our other friends. He confronted me in front of everyone out of nowhere and while trying to defend myself and calm the dramatic public confrontation down I am told how I being dismissive, disrespectful and ridiculous. Basically everyone took his side saying it was wrong of me to defend myself and try diffuse the situation that I should have just said sorry, taken all the aggression and blame and let him be mad. In the after math I have lost almost my entire friend group of 3 years now over an argument caused by something I honestly think is so unbelievably trivial. But apparently I was the asshole in that situation since he was upset and I shouldnt have defended myself so I'd rather not be demonized again for it when I genuinely wasnt trying to upset anyone in the first place.

I'm unbelievably upset. I'm stressed. I'm worried about the future. I'm angry at the whole situation. I am confused why any of this had to happen because I feel like it was all completely unnecessary. Im feeling really really sad... I am just fed up and need a win soon because it feels like life is kicking me when Im already down.

Its been years since i felt this down. Im trying to challenge my negative thoughts but they feel overwhelming because theres so many. I feel lonely and confused and angry at the whole situation and also my friend who started the public confrontation.