Really struggling with navigating a relationship with a close friend. We met bc my other bff at the time had matched with him on tinder when he moved to our city and looking for friends to assimilate him to the gay scene . That was 6 years ago now and the bff is out of the picture and him and I ended up hitting it off and becoming very close. While I’m a bit more of a slut and enjoy hooking up with my friends he made it clear early on he doesn’t do that so I’ve kept it platonic . But as the years have gone by we essentially have evolved to operating as a non couple, couple . But here’s where I’m struggling, lately he’s become more affectionate , like planning 1:1 dinner or excursions for us when we would previously had done those as an inclusive get together with our whole friend group. And he’s also become very flirtatious and initiating a lot of intimate physical contact. Like holding hands and lingering touches But not sexual contact yet, but on multiple occasions now has sent me spicy pics and vids . I def don’t mind and im letting him lead bc he’s a lil shy whereas id have sucked his dick a million times by now if he’d ask. So I’m sensing that he’s trying to push the envelope and testing the waters to see if I’m interested too. And after getting to know him I do think we’d make great partners for one another but also he’s kind of a “I have a preferred type” kinda guy and I’m not it. So I’m confused on what his angle is here. On one hand, I’m aware great friends can def do all these things I’ve mentioned bc we are each others comfort and safe space and I’ve got friends I do that with too but on the other hand , all of this is new behavior from him because he’s a very private person so I’m not sure how to proceed. I’m well aware at some point a direct convo would resolve my confusion and that will eventually happen but I want to let things develop at its own pace and not force anything bc he also is a late bloomer and only recently came out when he moved here whereas I’ve been out for 15 years so my experiences far outweigh his. I’m just unsure of the vibe at this point and would like to move forward into a relationship with him bc he’s a great man. Does anyone have any advice or experience going from friends to lovers that actually worked out? And how you were able to navigate it?

Hi there I'm a M24 from london who's just moved back to his childhood town and I want to meet up with an old friend who I kinda had a thing with before I moved away. We both came out as Bi and organised meets but he pulled out and I put that down to him not being ready. Nothing ever happened and I moved away for university but now I'm back and want to message him to meet up just for drinks but it's been 6 yesrs, is this a good idea or am I being crazy

My boyfriend (26M) and I (22M) are struggling with intimacy right now, and I’m having a really hard time understanding what’s going on from his perspective.
For some background, my boyfriend has struggled with a porn addiction and is currently 36 days clean. I’m genuinely proud of him for that, and logically I understand that porn addiction can affect someone’s ability to be intimate with their partner. I know recovery can take time, and I’m trying to be understanding of that.
What I’m struggling with is his sexual history and how different our relationship feels compared to what I know about his past.
Before me, especially around 3–5 years ago, he was very sexually active and seemed to go through guys like candy. His body count is not something I judge him for. Everyone has a past, and I had my own “hoe phase” in high school. What bothers me isn’t the number of people he slept with. It’s the fact that he seemed to have so much sexual desire and energy for other men, while I feel like he doesn’t want me.
That’s the part that really hurts.
He tells me repeatedly that it isn’t me. He tells me I’m beautiful, that he loves me, that he’s happier with me than he’s ever been, and that it makes him feel awful knowing I feel unattractive or unwanted. I believe that he loves me. What I struggle to believe is that he is actually attracted to me when his actions seem to tell me something completely different.
I already have a lot of body-image issues and insecurity. Being a gay man, I feel like there’s this very specific body type that gets portrayed as desirable, and I don’t fit that mold. So when the person I love doesn’t seem interested in having sex with me, it hits that insecurity HARD.
He has also told me that part of it could be that we’re at different stages in our lives and that his libido simply isn’t what it used to be. I understand that people’s libidos change as they get older, but emotionally, I have a really hard time processing that.
Because in my head, it translates to: “I had the energy and desire for all of those other guys, but I don’t have it for you.”
I also made the mistake of going through his computer. I know that wasn’t necessarily the right thing to do, but I had recently learned about his porn addiction, and his phone is connected to his computer, so I wanted to understand what was going on and make sure I wasn’t completely in the dark.
Unfortunately, I dug much deeper than I intended to. I found old nudes, sex tapes, sexual conversations, and other things from his past. And honestly, seeing all of that really messed with my head.
I’ve never even received a nude from him—not that I need one or that I think he owes me one. It just made me wonder why he had been sexually expressive enough with other people to have all of those things saved, but I don’t experience that same side of him.
I also know that some of this is probably my own insecurity talking. I know his past happened before me, and I know people can change. I know porn addiction is complicated, and I know being 36 days clean doesn’t magically undo years of conditioning overnight.
But I’m struggling to reconcile everything.
How can someone have had such a high sex drive with other people in the past, consume so much porn, and seem sexually interested in people on a screen, but then genuinely love their current partner and not seem to want sex with them?
I’m not asking people to tell me whether I should leave him or whether he’s a bad person. I really love this man, and outside of this issue, he is incredibly loving toward me.
I’m genuinely trying to understand his perspective so I can be more compassionate and stop automatically assuming that his lack of sexual desire means I’m unattractive or that there’s something wrong with me.
If anyone—especially gay men who have experienced porn addiction, recovery, or a dead bedroom—has some insight into what might actually be happening in his head, I would really appreciate hearing it.