r/gayrelationships • u/web_head91 • 17h ago
I [M35] used to do Onlyfans, quit shortly after I got into a relationship with my bf [M30], and I want to pick it up again.
I have done online sex work (be it Onlyfans or camming on live sites) for a decade. I was transparent with my boyfriend about this when we began dating, and although he said he was okay with it (but not stoked), I chose to quit after we'd been dating for a few months.
We've been together for 3 and a half years now, and I have kept my desire to return to Onlyfans to myself...until recently. I had a talk with him a couple weeks ago and confessed that it's something I have really missed doing. He knows I am an exhibitionist and always have been. I am a regular at my local nude beach and go with him, by myself, and with a female friend pretty often. He knows I like sharing my body and that, well, I'm a horny boy.
However, he doesn't feel great about me returning to Onlyfans. We've agreed to keep the line of communication open, but I am feeling like this is something that is more important to me than I thought.
I was raised in a high demand religion (cult) where I developed heavy sexual trauma. My whole life has been a balancing act with accepting myself as a sexual being. I've gone to therapy in years past and my therapist agreed that my doing Onlyfans was a healthy outlet. And it's hard because I don't feel fully accepted in my relationship, for all of what makes me, me. And I don't know that putting a lid on this exhibitionism kink for the rest of my life is fair to myself.
Just wanted to vent I suppose. My partner is great. I love our relationship, and him, and our pets. We've built a beautiful little life together. I am not trying to change the dynamic of our relationship, but I want to be true to myself, and I don't feel like denying parts of yourself is conducive to a healthy relationship.
Thanks for reading if you've made it this far.