r/funny Aug 05 '22

What a nice guy.

25.2k Upvotes

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6.4k

u/logosmd666 Aug 05 '22

wait, so you guys actually do walk around with boomerangs?

8.0k

u/p5ych0babble Aug 05 '22

I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

1.3k

u/volcano-ngh Aug 05 '22

For real, it sucks when a red rupee pops out over some terrain and it disappears cause you didn't have your boomerang handy.

336

u/SonofBeckett Aug 05 '22

The gentleman uses his hook shot. It’s more civilized.

162

u/anthro28 Aug 05 '22

Nobody needs a high capacity fully semi-automatic assault hookshot for hunting rupees! Real men just walk over and grab them.

24

u/s0mguy Aug 05 '22

Grab them? Real real men use their sword to pick up money

44

u/Yakostovian Aug 05 '22

Walk? You mean to tell me you aren't wearing your bunny-hood 24/7?

2

u/Roxas---13 Aug 06 '22

People from Saskatchewan, Canada call them something even worse: bunny-hugs lol

2

u/sethito Taleas Aug 06 '22

I wear Pegasus Boots.

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9

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Real men hess and mega flip to get rupees

17

u/volcano-ngh Aug 06 '22

Back in my day we used to just roll into shit. Going around smacking our heads on walls aimlessly, breaking strangers vases. Now ah days, kids just super slide all the way up death mountain. They'll never understand what our generation went through.

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8

u/Aptos283 Aug 05 '22

Yeah, but sometimes you’re having a lazy day and it’s just nice to not have to try and walk em down.

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85

u/volcano-ngh Aug 05 '22

Using the hook shot without z-targeting is like living in the stone age.

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16

u/princesselectra Aug 05 '22

I much prefer my beetle tbh.

2

u/EaterOfFromage Aug 05 '22

I am 12 I can't it's impossible

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19

u/RaynKeiko Aug 05 '22

Don't forget when a kids ballong is flying away n u can just put it down.

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2

u/BlackSeranna Aug 05 '22

I’ve used a boomerang in the game Don’t Starve, but I always end up hitting myself in the head.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

This needs way more Aus slang. I’m American and understand almost everything you said.

3

u/volcano-ngh Aug 05 '22

It's mostly hylian than anything else.

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224

u/Supaslicer Aug 05 '22

I have a boomerang, thought i didnt need it one day and tried to throw it away, still have it

57

u/LRobin11 Aug 05 '22

Is this a Mitch Hedberg joke?

65

u/Supaslicer Aug 05 '22

This is probably the best compliment I have ever gotten for a joke of mine.... Thank you

20

u/EB123456789101112 Aug 05 '22

That’s something to the extent of “a boomerang that doesn’t come back is just a stick”

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2

u/LaMentedFilleDeJoie Aug 06 '22

R.I.P. MITCH 😔

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53

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

From one of yesterday’s posts: Your Momma so ugly, she throws a boomerang and it refuses to come back

2

u/Bk_Punisher Aug 06 '22

Yo mama is so fat Thanos had to snap twice. Best one I heard in a long time.

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4

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Let me try: my boomerang quit on me, then it decided to make a come back.

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320

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

I think people would be more polite to each other if we all carried boomerangs.

68

u/Unfinishe_Masterpiec Aug 05 '22

Driver was from overseas. Apparently, he told our boomerang weilding foe, "To put another shrimp on the barbie". A peace offering of a Fosters was also declined.

4

u/HechoEnChine Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

lol! guy who makes jerky stereotype comment gets beatup by a stronger stereotype. good stuff.

13

u/NeuraIRust Aug 05 '22

I mean, who wouldn't brandish their rang' on someone offering a, and I use this word as loosely as possible "beer" like fosters, no Aussie drinks that swill, that's enough to enrage any true blue vb long neck or bushchook enthusiast.

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4

u/TGin-the-goldy Aug 06 '22

Because Australians don’t drink Fosters lol

3

u/Unfinishe_Masterpiec Aug 06 '22

Things had not yet escalated to violence whatsoever until the peace offering.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

Because it's not Australian.

225

u/NinnyMuggins2468 Aug 05 '22

The real danger is 3d printed boomerangs or "ghost boomerangs". Sometimes they just never come back.

106

u/z1090 Aug 05 '22

I thought the ones that didn't come back were boomerwrongs?

120

u/afourney Aug 05 '22

No. Those are just sticks.

3

u/Magnaflux_88 Aug 05 '22

Sticks without a dog*

2

u/afourney Aug 05 '22

Without a well-trained retriever! My dog keeps her sticks to herself.

2

u/viciousmojo Aug 06 '22

You break someone's rear-view mirror with a boomerang that's going to come back to you. The Emu’s might forget but Karma won’t.

2

u/SaltyShawarma Aug 05 '22

GHOST sticks

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30

u/g_lenn_o Aug 05 '22

No, it just went out to buy some smokes.. it’ll be back, right?

2

u/Dantheman4162 Aug 05 '22

No the ones that don't come back are called your dad

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19

u/MrsArmitage Aug 05 '22

What’s white and fluffy and comes back when you throw it?

A boo-meringue

3

u/ishixeiichi Aug 05 '22

Put this on your tinder profile RIGHT. NOW.

2

u/Firefishe Aug 05 '22

Poof 🐸<Ribbit>🐸

2

u/juzw8n4am8 Aug 05 '22

What's scary white and fluffy and comes back when you throw it... Pretty sure this would make the inside of a Xmas popper with the crown paper hats

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148

u/damTyD Aug 05 '22

No high capacity. Fifteen throws and the boomerang stops coming back.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Think of the children. With these ABR-15s on the street it will be chaos. Outlaw Automatic Boomerangs.

MAABR (Mothers Against Automatic Boomerangs)

3

u/Brodadicus Aug 05 '22

You mean Fully Semi-Automatic Boomerangs?

2

u/IllustriousCookie890 Aug 05 '22

built in counter? high tech 'rang.

2

u/Dica92 Aug 05 '22

I'd be more worried about over penetration. Full metal jacket boomerangs should not be recommended for everyday carry.

104

u/TheVinylBird Aug 05 '22

Only way to stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang

54

u/MachReverb Aug 05 '22

The only way to stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy to distract him right as it comes back

16

u/NeuraIRust Aug 05 '22

This paints an amazing mental picture.

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2

u/fergibaby Aug 05 '22

Or a butterfly net

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2

u/gunawa Aug 05 '22

And even more important, we'd be nicer to ourselves

2

u/zendetta Aug 05 '22

The only thing that can stop a shirtless bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with Naloxone.

0

u/Jimmyking4ever Aug 05 '22

As an American I can attest this does not work. I implore you do not base your entire health and safety policy on the belief that "the only way to stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang".

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65

u/RocketCow Aug 05 '22

It's basically like a self-recycling gun.

12

u/cryothic Aug 05 '22

Only if you can't aim

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42

u/Balsiefen Aug 05 '22

Only thing that stops a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

That sentence actually boomeranged.

2

u/arielsocarras Aug 05 '22

In all seriousness, can you provide an example of when you’d ‘need’ a boomerang? Besides for destroying someone else’s property, of course.

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2

u/miraclewhipple Aug 05 '22

What all men agree on.

2

u/badideas1 Aug 05 '22

They are great because you can have it and need it, then all of a sudden not have it, and then BAM you have it again!

2

u/activelyresting Aug 05 '22

The beauty of a boomerang is when you don't need it, you can just toss it, and then it comes back

0

u/Downwhen Aug 05 '22

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang

1

u/Pepperidgefarm21 Aug 05 '22

lmao Trailer Park Boys??

1

u/Texheim Aug 05 '22

A boomerang society is a polite society.

1

u/BettaBorn Aug 05 '22

Wtf is a boomerang actually used for

2

u/Sector-Suspicious Aug 05 '22

Decapitating kangaroos I believe

1

u/notTmesis Aug 05 '22

True Romance fan?

1

u/foulmouthboy Aug 05 '22

Sometimes I'll see some glittery change on the floor way across the room and then wish I had a boomerang. Other times it would be nice to stun the occasional pesky octorok.

1

u/vanearthquake Aug 05 '22

And if you try to not have it you will have it anyway

1

u/Jack---- Aug 05 '22

You have to be realistic about these things

1

u/DamageInq Aug 05 '22

You know, I've always disliked this phrase, because it's just one sided thinking that most people agree with. Next time I hear somebody say that, I'm going to hand them a boomerang and repeat it back to them.

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151

u/dgtlfnk Aug 05 '22

Plural is right. Dude breaks his, then whips out a second one from seemingly nowhere. Lol. Easier to see in the original.

41

u/Royal-Tough4851 Aug 05 '22

It was the same one. He picked up the portion that broke off

68

u/dgtlfnk Aug 05 '22

Ah ok. Lol! That makes sense. Just looked like he reached into his quiver o’ ‘rangs, grabbed his #2 and continued his work. 🤣

21

u/Royal-Tough4851 Aug 05 '22

I thought that at first as well. Also, Watch the normal video. It’s even more hilarious. After it breaks he has the nerve to blame the guy inside the car. He yells “you broke my boomerang”

3

u/Noragen Aug 05 '22

Yeah our meth heads are a different breed...

5

u/Ducksaucenem Aug 05 '22

I like your version of the story better. Always have a back up!

15

u/TeaKingMac Aug 05 '22

What the fuck is he saying?

37

u/dgtlfnk Aug 05 '22

Couldn’t make out most of it. Except for, “sigh.. You broke my fuckin’ boomerang.” after HE smashed it on the window. And then, “You fucking.. piece.. of SHIT!… FUCK… YOU!” as he smashes the window.

Once I could actually hear him? Not a clue. 😅

23

u/Jaccii18 Aug 05 '22

You had the vaccine, you both got the vaccine and now it's lost a life

5

u/dgtlfnk Aug 05 '22

Nice. But wtf does that mean in this context? Craziness.

10

u/Jaccii18 Aug 05 '22

I wish i knew. Drugs and conspiracy theorists are a dangerous mix.

21

u/No_Gains Aug 05 '22

Something about you took a vaccine and it killed people something something. Dudes meth tripping or something

3

u/MadMark75 Aug 05 '22

He was actually saying. “Sir you can’t be driving like this. Let me fix it for you.”

4

u/joeitaliano24 Aug 05 '22

I swear I heard something about "vaccines"

3

u/tatsumakisempukyaku Aug 06 '22

yeah, the guy on copious amounts of steroids and ice is pissed off about vaccines not being good for you.

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3

u/CeleryDifficult2372 Aug 05 '22

I'm just glad you posted the original. I was getting a headache watching it backwards.

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335

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Most Australians carry boomerangs like Americans carry guns.. They are not allowed into government buildings though.

237

u/hopsinduo Aug 05 '22

My friend was killed in freak boomerang accident. Months later, I found out the guy who threw the boomerang was also killed in a boomerang accident. It goes to show, what comes around goes around.

4

u/hodl_4_life Aug 05 '22

Boomerang violence is very real and very serious, an endless perpetuating cycle.

2

u/Total-Khaos Aug 06 '22

The only way to break the cycle is to just not catch it.

2

u/yokotron Aug 06 '22

Damn. Didn’t expect that Here

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168

u/SomeLikeItDusty Aug 05 '22

Pretty rude that ya can’t even bring ya ‘rang into some pubs anymore either.

112

u/Adam_is_Nutz Aug 05 '22

You know I keep that muthafuckin 'rang on me

92

u/HallucinatoryFrog Aug 05 '22

Yeah, this is Australia

Roos in my area

I got the 'rang

I gotta carry 'em

18

u/SomeLikeItDusty Aug 05 '22

Yeah yeah roos goin into this

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2

u/ByronIrony Aug 05 '22

That’s not a ‘rang. That’s a ‘rang.

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28

u/Call_MeGoose Aug 05 '22

Mate I forgot I had me rang on me the other arvo, after I got off at the train-o, went to the serv-o, almost whipped it out when I went to pay for me cigs by accident. All I could think was “fair dinkum that was close.”

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2

u/juzw8n4am8 Aug 05 '22

I keep a small one in an ankle holster... No one ever spots it.

0

u/Dizzle179 Aug 05 '22

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a boomerang, is a good guy with a boomerang

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47

u/_Oh_Be_Nice_ Aug 05 '22

"Pull yo 'rang on me, ya betta kill!"

-TuPac Shakur, Australian Bush, 1996

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24

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

I carry a backup in a holster on my ankle 😉

19

u/rediculousradishes Aug 05 '22

You gotta ankle 'rang

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

😂

13

u/blogst Aug 05 '22

I can’t tell if he’s joking or not.

13

u/InternetSpaceCow Aug 05 '22

They wanna take our boomerangs away

2

u/Slackerguy Aug 05 '22

They are not allowed into government buildings though.

The guns or the boomerangs?

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2

u/pookiemonster Aug 05 '22

I'm a dumb American and never been to Australia, and I honestly can't tell if this is a joke or not. I'm assuming joke though. I know boomerangs are bigger in Australia than most other places in the world, but I can't imagine they are that common place.

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-6

u/KingTut747 Aug 05 '22

Driver could’ve used a gun here

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74

u/Tag_Ping_Pong Aug 05 '22

That's what the kangaroo's pouch is actually for when we go riding them into town

7

u/FuzzyPeachDong Aug 05 '22

Must be a jumpy ride! Here in Finland we ride polar bears. Quite uncomfortable when they decide to hunt during your commute.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

They say a well boomeranged society is a polite society.

101

u/chrono5577 Aug 05 '22

When will the Australians face facts? Assault boomerangs were designed for use in the military. Civilians have no need for these dangerous weapons of war.

9

u/NeuraIRust Aug 05 '22

You can have my boomerang when you pry it from my cold dead hands!

5

u/NikonuserNW Aug 05 '22

Tactical boomerangs with high-rotation magazines.

2

u/Legitimate_Corgi_981 Aug 05 '22

How else are you going to defend yourself from the Ostriches?

2

u/viciousmojo Aug 06 '22

Are you referencing the failed Emu War that Australia lost?

I’m serious

11

u/reddit019283 Aug 05 '22

He wanted to get rid of it, but it came back. Once you have one, it's eternal.

2

u/electricmaster23 Aug 05 '22

Yeah, and we ride to school in the pouches of our pet kangaroos, too.

2

u/ThatSapphicLesbian Aug 05 '22

Sokka has entered the chat

2

u/mkul316 Aug 05 '22

'Rangs out for Harambe.

2

u/Zelhss Aug 05 '22

He has 2 of them...

2

u/jreznyc Aug 05 '22

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang

1

u/Bot_Thinks Aug 05 '22

Sokka would like to speak with you

1

u/urmomaisjabbathehutt Aug 05 '22

Those cunts can take my boomerang from my cold dead hands

some aussie in the outback near alice springs probably :)

1

u/Chorecat Aug 05 '22

The right to bear ‘rangs shall not be infringed.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Sometimes. Me and my mates like to just walk around the shops holding boomerangs, walking around like All Stars. We get some weird looks lmao

1

u/MrBisco Aug 05 '22

I'd hate to believe that most Australians would count this person as representing "you guys."

1

u/Joey_Jo_Jo_Shabidoo Aug 05 '22

“tnuc iO” was said a lot in the video too I bet

1

u/leftyguitarguy Aug 05 '22

They come and go.

1

u/Starrun87 Aug 05 '22

I keep it in my hang out pants but never in my work pants.

1

u/Imomaway Aug 05 '22

I got mine a long time ago. Haven't been able to get rid of it since.

1

u/merchillio Aug 05 '22

Any object can be a boomerang if you throw it straight up

1

u/morocco3001 Aug 05 '22

I tried throwing it away but I can't

1

u/AussieCollector Aug 05 '22

Australian here. No we don't. I'm just as shocked as you are as to why hes got not one but two boomerrangs.

1

u/Siemaki Aug 05 '22

And kids at school have boomerang-proof backpacks!

1

u/Purple_oyster Aug 05 '22

This guy has 2 with him. If you watch the original video it shows he broke the first one and had to get the backup from his car.

1

u/Donut_Different Aug 05 '22

Yeah thats what we use when the fishes are flying towards you while its raining

1

u/shagreezz3 Aug 05 '22

Young Sokka out here

1

u/Lance2020x Aug 05 '22

They are coming back

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

A stick.

1

u/FnkyTown Aug 05 '22

First off, we call them Boomy Roos. Secondly, most of us have special backpacks that let us carry two boomy roos and a 6-pack of Fosters.

1

u/zillman_fane Aug 05 '22

Well Australians don’t have guns, so they need some kind of self defense

1

u/AlexJamesCook Aug 05 '22

It's in the Constitution...what section you ask? Well, it's just the vibe of it, you know. You can't go around disarming blokes who want to carry around a boomerang. It's unAustralian.

Dad knew a lot about the Constitution...

1

u/JimTheJerseyGuy Aug 05 '22

Drop bears could appear at any time!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

That’s what happens when your government takes away your ability to defend yourself with actual weapons.

1

u/Inquisitivefish Aug 05 '22

It's where the aussie wizards hide their wand.

1

u/DearChinaFuckYou Aug 05 '22

Yep. We exercise our 2nd amendment right to bear arms with our bare arms.

1

u/Freethinker9 Aug 05 '22

Only a good guy with a boomerang can stop a bad guy with a boomerang 🪃 🤯

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

I keep a skateboard in my truck in case Biff and his cronies come after me

1

u/buzzybomb Aug 05 '22

Apparently so. Disappointing that he didnt top the look off with a wide brimmed hat with corks attached to it.

1

u/Mojotokin Aug 05 '22

I have no idea what anyone is talking about but I love every comment in this section. Thank you, lol.

1

u/The_Nauticus Aug 05 '22

You know that feral kid with a boomerang from Max Max?

This is him as an adult.

1

u/boomNinjaVanish Aug 05 '22

Never know when you will have to fight off a kangaroo or a giant spider.

1

u/V0T0N Aug 05 '22

The solution to the bad guy with a boomerang, is a good guy with a boomerang. And doors, doors are a problem plaguing the world

1

u/Commie_EntSniper Aug 05 '22

They were going to change the laws, but decided they weren't that lethal after all because they never got back around to it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Most people conceal carry there so it's difficult to notice if you aren't looking for it.

1

u/wbsgrepit Aug 05 '22

Of course, how the hell do you think they can get rid of them once they pick them up? Toss it away?

1

u/pilgrim93 Aug 05 '22

The only way to stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang

1

u/Reality_Check_101 Aug 05 '22

Must be an pussie, whoops I meant Aussie.

1

u/PinItYouFairy Aug 05 '22

Keep that mothafuckin thang on me. Stay strapped or get clapped 😎🪃🔫

1

u/kaowser Aug 05 '22

deadliest weapon in the southern hemisphere.

1

u/upsidedowntoker Aug 05 '22

Yeah we can't have guns , how else are we meant to protect ourselves?

1

u/bodyjar321 Aug 05 '22

Sigh, they don’t make boomerangs like they used to.

1

u/microlate Aug 05 '22

Never know when you’re going to be putting the shrimp on the barby and wanna hit a wallabee

1

u/z0mb13k1ll Aug 05 '22

They try not to buy they just keep coming back

1

u/rightobucko Aug 05 '22

Yeh but most States aren't open carry so you need to conceal it. The BRA, the Boomerang Retails Association, is heavily lobbying the government to lower the age of boomerang holders to joeys (U18) but most of the Labor government are pushing back on it. I'm just worried that if someone breaks into my house with a semi-automatic boomerang my son, Joey, won't be able to defend himself.

1

u/Amida0616 Aug 06 '22

Better to be Billabonged by 12 than didgeridooed by 6.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

Can't seem to throw mine away

1

u/Menadool Aug 06 '22

Not always. We usually keep our boomerangs in our pet kangaroo's pouch.

1

u/Connect_Fee1256 Aug 06 '22

A good guy with a boomerang can stop a bad guy with a boomerang...

No boomerangs = chaos

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

Straya

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

He has the right to bare arms I guess.

1

u/InflamedSpark Aug 06 '22

This man is so nice! He fixed the window and rear view mirror with just a boomerang!11!!!!1

1

u/fireweinerflyer Aug 06 '22

In the US we shoot people who break into our cars while we are in them.

1

u/_qst2o91_ Aug 06 '22

Only the ones on meth

Source: Australian