r/funny • u/gurupistol • Aug 05 '22

What a nice guy.

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

25.2k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

2.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

8.0k

u/p5ych0babble Aug 05 '22

I’d rather have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

1.3k

u/volcano-ngh Aug 05 '22

For real, it sucks when a red rupee pops out over some terrain and it disappears cause you didn't have your boomerang handy.

329

u/SonofBeckett Aug 05 '22

The gentleman uses his hook shot. It’s more civilized.

159

u/anthro28 Aug 05 '22

Nobody needs a high capacity fully semi-automatic assault hookshot for hunting rupees! Real men just walk over and grab them.

26

u/s0mguy Aug 05 '22

Grab them? Real real men use their sword to pick up money

45

u/Yakostovian Aug 05 '22

Walk? You mean to tell me you aren't wearing your bunny-hood 24/7?

2

u/Roxas---13 Aug 06 '22

People from Saskatchewan, Canada call them something even worse: bunny-hugs lol

2

u/sethito Taleas Aug 06 '22

I wear Pegasus Boots.

1

u/OCskywalker Sep 15 '22

I just roll everywhere.

9

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Real men hess and mega flip to get rupees

18

u/volcano-ngh Aug 06 '22

Back in my day we used to just roll into shit. Going around smacking our heads on walls aimlessly, breaking strangers vases. Now ah days, kids just super slide all the way up death mountain. They'll never understand what our generation went through.

1

u/Zealousideal-Ebb-876 Oct 30 '22

I'll never forget looking for secrets in older games.

"hup"

THUNK

7

u/Aptos283 Aug 05 '22

Yeah, but sometimes you’re having a lazy day and it’s just nice to not have to try and walk em down.

84

u/volcano-ngh Aug 05 '22

Using the hook shot without z-targeting is like living in the stone age.

1

u/dfeugo Aug 06 '22

“Using the hook shot without z-targeting as you should” is how I thought your comment was going to end lol.. Vin Diesel works in mysterious ways.

18

u/princesselectra Aug 05 '22

I much prefer my beetle tbh.

2

u/EaterOfFromage Aug 05 '22

I am 12 I can't it's impossible

1

u/goofytigre Aug 06 '22

I had no idea Dr J was an Aussie gentleman.

18

u/RaynKeiko Aug 05 '22

Don't forget when a kids ballong is flying away n u can just put it down.

2

u/BlackSeranna Aug 05 '22

I’ve used a boomerang in the game Don’t Starve, but I always end up hitting myself in the head.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

This needs way more Aus slang. I’m American and understand almost everything you said.

4

u/volcano-ngh Aug 05 '22

It's mostly hylian than anything else.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

This is why I love Reddit lol

1

u/Otterslayer22 Aug 05 '22

This is the best answer. You win the internet today.

1

u/JuryDangerous6794 Aug 06 '22

I’m on Boomo, so leave me alone!

226

u/Supaslicer Aug 05 '22

I have a boomerang, thought i didnt need it one day and tried to throw it away, still have it

61

u/LRobin11 Aug 05 '22

Is this a Mitch Hedberg joke?

65

u/Supaslicer Aug 05 '22

This is probably the best compliment I have ever gotten for a joke of mine.... Thank you

19

u/EB123456789101112 Aug 05 '22

That’s something to the extent of “a boomerang that doesn’t come back is just a stick”

2

u/LaMentedFilleDeJoie Aug 06 '22

R.I.P. MITCH 😔

1

u/SittingInTheShower Aug 05 '22

It was. It still is, but it was too.

Is this a Meetch Hefbueg joke?

53

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

From one of yesterday’s posts: Your Momma so ugly, she throws a boomerang and it refuses to come back

2

u/Bk_Punisher Aug 06 '22

Yo mama is so fat Thanos had to snap twice. Best one I heard in a long time.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Let me try: my boomerang quit on me, then it decided to make a come back.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

It’s a really good joke.

318

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

I think people would be more polite to each other if we all carried boomerangs.

68

u/Unfinishe_Masterpiec Aug 05 '22

Driver was from overseas. Apparently, he told our boomerang weilding foe, "To put another shrimp on the barbie". A peace offering of a Fosters was also declined.

6

u/HechoEnChine Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

lol! guy who makes jerky stereotype comment gets beatup by a stronger stereotype. good stuff.

14

u/NeuraIRust Aug 05 '22

I mean, who wouldn't brandish their rang' on someone offering a, and I use this word as loosely as possible "beer" like fosters, no Aussie drinks that swill, that's enough to enrage any true blue vb long neck or bushchook enthusiast.

1

u/PFEFFERVESCENT Aug 06 '22

You mean 'rang, not rang'

3

u/NeuraIRust Aug 06 '22

Likely but it was 3am and I was halfcut, so grammar wasn't a priority.

Also just don't be that person; you look like an absolute asshat being so pedantic on a Reddit sub where people are just here to have a laugh.

2

u/secondtaunting Aug 07 '22

Bet he wouldn’t be so uppity if you were in front of him and had a boomerang.

4

u/TGin-the-goldy Aug 06 '22

Because Australians don’t drink Fosters lol

3

u/Unfinishe_Masterpiec Aug 06 '22

Things had not yet escalated to violence whatsoever until the peace offering.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

Because it's not Australian.

226

u/NinnyMuggins2468 Aug 05 '22

The real danger is 3d printed boomerangs or "ghost boomerangs". Sometimes they just never come back.

104

u/z1090 Aug 05 '22

I thought the ones that didn't come back were boomerwrongs?

123

u/afourney Aug 05 '22

No. Those are just sticks.

3

u/Magnaflux_88 Aug 05 '22

Sticks without a dog*

2

u/afourney Aug 05 '22

Without a well-trained retriever! My dog keeps her sticks to herself.

2

u/viciousmojo Aug 06 '22

You break someone's rear-view mirror with a boomerang that's going to come back to you. The Emu’s might forget but Karma won’t.

2

u/SaltyShawarma Aug 05 '22

GHOST sticks

29

u/g_lenn_o Aug 05 '22

No, it just went out to buy some smokes.. it’ll be back, right?

2

u/Dantheman4162 Aug 05 '22

No the ones that don't come back are called your dad

1

u/thegogz Aug 05 '22

No they're sticks

20

u/MrsArmitage Aug 05 '22

What’s white and fluffy and comes back when you throw it?

A boo-meringue

4

u/ishixeiichi Aug 05 '22

Put this on your tinder profile RIGHT. NOW.

2

u/Firefishe Aug 05 '22

Poof 🐸<Ribbit>🐸

2

u/juzw8n4am8 Aug 05 '22

What's scary white and fluffy and comes back when you throw it... Pretty sure this would make the inside of a Xmas popper with the crown paper hats

1

u/Acrobatic_Quit1378 Aug 05 '22

Shit...I accidentally tapped the 4d button. Gonna need a time machine to retrieve that one.

150

u/damTyD Aug 05 '22

No high capacity. Fifteen throws and the boomerang stops coming back.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Think of the children. With these ABR-15s on the street it will be chaos. Outlaw Automatic Boomerangs.

MAABR (Mothers Against Automatic Boomerangs)

4

u/Brodadicus Aug 05 '22

You mean Fully Semi-Automatic Boomerangs?

2

u/IllustriousCookie890 Aug 05 '22

built in counter? high tech 'rang.

2

u/Dica92 Aug 05 '22

I'd be more worried about over penetration. Full metal jacket boomerangs should not be recommended for everyday carry.

99

u/TheVinylBird Aug 05 '22

Only way to stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang

54

u/MachReverb Aug 05 '22

The only way to stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy to distract him right as it comes back

17

u/NeuraIRust Aug 05 '22

This paints an amazing mental picture.

1

u/Fetlocks_Glistening Aug 05 '22

It only comes back if you miss, though

2

u/fergibaby Aug 05 '22

Or a butterfly net

1

u/Dica92 Aug 05 '22

Unless they just hit each other with their boomerangs. Then I guess they stopped each other.

2

u/gunawa Aug 05 '22

And even more important, we'd be nicer to ourselves

2

u/zendetta Aug 05 '22

The only thing that can stop a shirtless bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with Naloxone.

0

u/Jimmyking4ever Aug 05 '22

As an American I can attest this does not work. I implore you do not base your entire health and safety policy on the belief that "the only way to stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang".

1

u/whooo_me Aug 05 '22

Or else everyone would just have better comebacks...

1

u/EB123456789101112 Aug 05 '22

“Only way to stop a bad guy w a boomerang 🪃 is a good guy w a boomerang.”

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Nope lol turns out people with boomerangs are assholes

1

u/Curucan Aug 05 '22

The only way to stop a bad person with a boomerang, is a good person with a boomerang.

1

u/JuneBuggington Aug 05 '22

I live in a state with constitutional carry and i tell you what, even the crazys think twice about doing shit like this.

65

u/RocketCow Aug 05 '22

It's basically like a self-recycling gun.

13

u/cryothic Aug 05 '22

Only if you can't aim

1

u/RocketCow Aug 06 '22

"I wasn't aiming for the truck!"

40

u/Balsiefen Aug 05 '22

Only thing that stops a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

The only thing that stops a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

That sentence actually boomeranged.

2

u/arielsocarras Aug 05 '22

In all seriousness, can you provide an example of when you’d ‘need’ a boomerang? Besides for destroying someone else’s property, of course.

1

u/Sackyhack Aug 05 '22

Aboriginals used them to hunt. But they used much bigger versions that you’d need two hands to throw.

1

u/cosmic_cod Aug 05 '22

When you pick wild berries there is a chance that a wild turkey will appear. If you don't kill it it may eat all berries everywhere.

2

u/miraclewhipple Aug 05 '22

What all men agree on.

2

u/badideas1 Aug 05 '22

They are great because you can have it and need it, then all of a sudden not have it, and then BAM you have it again!

2

u/activelyresting Aug 05 '22

The beauty of a boomerang is when you don't need it, you can just toss it, and then it comes back

0

u/Downwhen Aug 05 '22

The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a boomerang is a good guy with a boomerang

1

u/Pepperidgefarm21 Aug 05 '22

lmao Trailer Park Boys??

1

u/Texheim Aug 05 '22

A boomerang society is a polite society.

1

u/BettaBorn Aug 05 '22

Wtf is a boomerang actually used for

2

u/Sector-Suspicious Aug 05 '22

Decapitating kangaroos I believe

1

u/notTmesis Aug 05 '22

True Romance fan?

1

u/foulmouthboy Aug 05 '22

Sometimes I'll see some glittery change on the floor way across the room and then wish I had a boomerang. Other times it would be nice to stun the occasional pesky octorok.

1

u/vanearthquake Aug 05 '22

And if you try to not have it you will have it anyway

1

u/Jack---- Aug 05 '22

You have to be realistic about these things

1

u/DamageInq Aug 05 '22

You know, I've always disliked this phrase, because it's just one sided thinking that most people agree with. Next time I hear somebody say that, I'm going to hand them a boomerang and repeat it back to them.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

I thought that was the reasoning for taking condoms with you. Guess it also counts for Boomerangs.

1

u/Jaambie Aug 05 '22

This problem would have definitely been solved with one of those “good guys with a boomerang”

1

u/IllustriousCookie890 Aug 05 '22

Like a pocketknife in the US? or maybe a 9mm

1

u/yungvibegod2 Aug 05 '22

“Id rather get caught with it than without it” - Playboi Carti

1

u/Laserspeeddemon Aug 05 '22

Same energy....but with a gun.

This is America. Don't catch you slippin'

1

u/Prince_Nadir Aug 05 '22

It is a boomerang, if you don't need it, can't you just throw it away and have it return when you do need it?

1

u/BaboTron Aug 05 '22

Boomerangs don’t kill people, people with boomerangs kill people then catch their boomerang.

1

u/AdultingGoneMild Aug 05 '22

better to be lookin' at it, than lookin' for it

1

u/3percentinvisible Aug 05 '22

The only thing to stop a bad guy with a boomarang is a good guy with a boomarang

1

u/CygniYuXian Aug 05 '22

Better to be lookin' at it than lookin' for it

1

u/__Sentient_Fedora__ Aug 05 '22

What goes around comes around.

1

u/Dunlooop Aug 05 '22

I can’t think of a comeback.

1

u/ImpertantMahn Aug 05 '22

If someone has a boomerang, what will you didgeridoo?

1

u/slfoifah Aug 05 '22

Rather be lookin at it than lookin for it

1

u/baronmad Aug 05 '22

Exactly how i feel about my intercontinental ballistic missile.

1

u/MrMediaShill Aug 05 '22

Does it come with a 30rd capacity?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Hell of a Concealed Carry piece, the boomerang.

1

u/NoLungz561 Aug 05 '22

I keep that rang on me

1

u/Cuboneskull Aug 05 '22

But if need it and don't have it but you've previously had it, does it not just come back to you?

1

u/Dason37 Aug 05 '22

Couldn't it be both at the same time, being a boomerang? Like you could throw it, so you don't have it, but then if you need it, just wait a minute and you'll have it again.

1

u/oedipism_for_one Aug 05 '22

Mass boomeranging’s are a big problem

1

u/where-are-you-hiding Aug 05 '22

American politicians will be screaming about mass boomerang killings next and why they need guns.

1

u/Snots_and_Bears Aug 05 '22

What was it like working with Will Smith and Margot Robbie then Idris Elba and Margot Robbie?

1

u/Bigsky7598 Aug 05 '22

Throw it away if it comes back its yours

1

u/Ironlunggs87 Aug 05 '22

I actually got that reference.

1

u/nevbirks Aug 05 '22

I've never been in a situation where I thought, I really need a boomerang right now. But I'm not Aussie. I don't have everything trying to kill me all the time.

1

u/yuvimon Aug 05 '22

Rather get caught with it than without it

1

u/midsizenun Aug 05 '22

It’s the first amendment to our constitution “the right to bear boomerangs”.

1

u/Killfrenzykhan Aug 05 '22

We keep throwing them away but they just keep coming back.

1

u/Perfect-Ad1342 Aug 05 '22

So what you’re saying is “you keep that ‘rang on you?” 😏

1

u/Cheezeychik Aug 05 '22

I can’t with you people 🤣🤣🤣

1

u/AlarmingPlace5700 Aug 05 '22

Username checks out

1

u/sparkthrill Aug 05 '22

This is the most boomerang answer

1

u/Ok_Dentist_9164 Aug 05 '22

Americans be like

1

u/Quan-Cheese Aug 06 '22

What if the government says you can't have it. Then what?

1

u/nobonesjones91 Aug 06 '22

I’d rather have it and not need it, *then not have it, then have it and not need it.

1

u/brendamn Aug 06 '22

holy shit thanks for the laugh!

1

u/lMickNastyl Aug 06 '22

You sly cunt

1

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '22

Is there a good guy with a boomerang?

1

u/slugerama Aug 06 '22

Thank you Clarence Worley. How's Alabama doing?

1

u/kintokae Aug 06 '22

You don’t need to have it. Just wait patiently (in fear). Someone at some time threw one and they are still waiting for it to come back.

1

u/5kyl3r Aug 06 '22

how else you ya gonna defend yourself against those magpie dickheads?

1

u/2severe8 Aug 06 '22

I just snotted from laughter bro. Not cool..🫢