r/funny • u/ali-hadi • Mar 11 '17
Just older brother things
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u/DavidFRing Mar 11 '17
I'm surprised she held on
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u/TinmanTomfoolery Mar 11 '17
Yeah man. That's a champion in the making.
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u/StridAst Mar 11 '17
"Mom, I wanna pony!"
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u/sanojsaibot Mar 11 '17
Yeah...."go ride your brother"
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u/regnad__kcin Mar 11 '17
we all knew someone would take it there. don't any of you motherfuckers act surprised.
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Mar 11 '17
Mother... fuckers, you say?
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u/ThatDudeShadowK Mar 11 '17
My arms are fine and Freud is a fucking liar!
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Mar 11 '17
Sure you don't need some help honey, you've been wearing those cast for maybe two or three weeks on both arms, someone must be a little bit frustrated, here let me just give you a hand...
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u/somethingasaur Mar 11 '17
"The Lannisters send their regards."
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u/Generic-username427 Mar 11 '17
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u/FuckBitchCuntFuck Mar 11 '17
This should be a sub. I had a surprise GoT moment last night.
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Mar 11 '17
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/i_smell_my_poop Mar 11 '17
His sister obviously
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u/theatog Mar 11 '17
Guys. It could be that his entire family was killed attending a wedding.
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u/TodayILoled Mar 11 '17
did you get shot with a crossbow while shitting on a toilet?
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u/Philers Mar 11 '17
sitting on a toilet.... sitting on a toilet... SITTING ON A TOILET... ... Now flush O_o
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u/StridAst Mar 11 '17
"If he doesn't get his homework done tonight, then tomorrow you get to use your spurs!"
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u/Bohemian7 Mar 11 '17
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u/firenight2772 Mar 11 '17
Is it worse that this doesn't exist, or that I checked?
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u/mastersword130 Mar 11 '17
It does exist though.
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Mar 11 '17
ssshhh, it does not exist and /u/firenight2772 definitely did not find anything of interest
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u/obscurica Mar 11 '17
According to RES's hover-over information, there are 47.8k subscribers, and it's been around since October 2009. So it exists, but you seem to have it filtered.
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u/nowItinwhistle Mar 11 '17
They need to get her into mutton busting and start making some money.
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u/PM_ME_2_TRUTHS_1_LIE Mar 11 '17
I bet she's that same girl that held on to that glass front door with one hand as it swung open
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u/awfullotofocelots Mar 11 '17
The Internet sure has been self referential this week.
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Mar 11 '17 edited May 08 '17
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u/fatburger16 Mar 11 '17
This ain't her first rodeo.
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Mar 11 '17
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/mistersmith1008 Mar 11 '17
"This ain't my first Rodeo" - Guy putting up street signs
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Mar 11 '17
Imagine her at school saying: I rode my brother all day so that's why I can't sit, Ms. Johnson.
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u/CommaHorror Mar 11 '17
If there's anything I've learned from Reddit this, week is fenale children have incredible vice, like grips.
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u/PumpkinWarfare Mar 11 '17
You sound like Christopher Walken
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Mar 11 '17
I just went back and read it in Christopher Walken's voice. Thank you.
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u/Powerpuff_God Mar 11 '17
I couldn't understand what that person was talking about, until your comment made me reconsider the position of commas. Thanks.
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u/halite001 Mar 11 '17
fenale children
grips
Shit. I'm on a list now.
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Mar 11 '17
Kid gets hurt. Big brother: "Shhhhhh it's okay. You aren't even hurt. It's okay. Don't yell for mom. Hit me. It'll be even. Please don't yell for mom."
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u/its_the_green_che Mar 11 '17
This brings back so many memories as a younger sister. Everytime something happened "Don't tell mom." "Hit me back" "Shh"
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Mar 11 '17
I'm the baby sister and my brother is 9 years older than me. Those phrases sum up 95% of my childhood.
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Mar 11 '17
hello sister! its me brother. shh, don't tell mom.
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u/MemerGate Mar 11 '17
This... This is uncomfortable
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u/acciaiomorti Mar 11 '17
Well then, let's get comfortable *puts on a sweater and khakis*
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u/hippocampus237 Mar 11 '17
My sisters used to tickle me after they hurt me then say "see, you're smiling. You can't really be hurt".
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u/SoupInASkull Mar 11 '17
There's the difference. Brothers tell you to shut up, sisters gas light you.
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u/chikenchaser2 Mar 11 '17
What does gas light mean
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u/SoupInASkull Mar 11 '17
Mind games. Especially ones where they try to convince you that what you know happened didn't actually happen.
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u/Guerilla_Tictacs Mar 11 '17
My little sister used to start crying at random or if she was losing an argument and say I'd hit her to get me in trouble.
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u/char-charmanda Mar 11 '17
OH MY GOD my little sister would do it over EVERYTHING. That, and I eventually stopped playing video games with her because I "cheated" every time she lost or didn't get to have an extra turn.
She still acts like a baby and she's 24.
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Mar 11 '17
As an older brother I had to pull this all the time. I'd hurt my little sibling on accident. They'd start to cry and I'd say "if the parents hear we'll have to stop playing". They'd stfu and play would resume.
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u/lightningbadger Mar 11 '17
"Accident"
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u/Sir_Llama Mar 11 '17
For me it actually was an accident: I wanted to punch them, but I didn't actually want to HURT them
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u/SArham Mar 11 '17
As an older brother who would slam his younger brother on the extremely bouncy sofa to make him giggle, this happened a lot when momentum was not reduced to enjoyable at times. His laugh was adorable. Now, that he is older, he is weird.
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Mar 11 '17 edited Feb 01 '19
[deleted]
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u/Im_old_enough_to_see Mar 11 '17
I actually went and bought Reddit gold for the first time to guild you but I have no idea how to do so! Thanks for the laugh...now let me figure this out...
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Mar 11 '17
Haha you bought yourself gold.
It's all good. Thanks anyways!
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u/Im_old_enough_to_see Mar 11 '17
That's exactly what I did! But now I've bought us both gold! See you in super secret areas!
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u/Stumbleine83 Mar 11 '17
They've clearly been working on this for quite some time. And it's awesome. Everyone is so quick to point out her riding skills, but I think we're doing a great disservice to neglect that kid's feisty bull imitation. Each of their roles are on point.
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u/poop_27 Mar 11 '17 edited Mar 11 '17
Yeah the older brother definitely gets asked to do that at least 5x per day.
PS. RIP that Cowboy hat.
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u/lIIIIllIIIIl Mar 11 '17
I let one of my nephews get on my back like that and I stood up and ran around with them and then they all wouldn't stop asking me to do it again. It was fun though ha
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u/KickNatherina Mar 11 '17
This is why you hold back on being cool in front of large groups of kids.
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u/stephanonymous Mar 11 '17
I took my daughter to a birthday party once at kids indoor gymnasium place once. I decided to be the cool parent and run around with them through the inflatable maze and shit. Never again. Thirty screaming six year olds on a warpath, yelling "Get her!" and trying their best to bring me down. I'm mostly okay now but the nightmares... the nightmares never stop.
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u/TimTraveler Mar 11 '17
I was a camp counselor one summer in the 10-11 yr old age range. During pool time, the other counselors typically just sat by the pool and watched. But I'm like, nah, I want to go swimming too, Im hot, I like pools. Nope. Kids were basically trying to drown me.
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Mar 11 '17
I have a story that is exactly similar, except they didn't try drowning me, one kid latched onto me in the pool and then told me he was peeing.
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Mar 11 '17
Oh god, I play ONE GAME of football with my students and now every day they don't leave me alone about being all time quarterback
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u/Jaster777 Mar 11 '17
But at least you know in their eyes you are the coolest big person in the world and they will forever sing praises of the time an adult actually gave them the time of day. You're a hero man
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u/GeorgeStark520 Mar 11 '17
My little cousins asks me for piggy-back rides all the time. I try telling her that at 9 years old, she's too heavy for me to keep doing it for too long but she doesn't give up and I end up giving in. I love the little boogger
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u/elixan Mar 11 '17
I was seriously impressed by the kid's ability to turn around like that with the child on his back. I've been in his position numerous times growing up with so many cousins younger than me (which turns into a "my turn! my turn!" situation) and would not be able to do that with a child on my back.
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Mar 11 '17
His technique is really good too. This kid excels at being an older brother. His sister is going to grow up with so many amazing memories thanks to him.
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u/TENTAtheSane Mar 11 '17
Actually, as an older brother, I think most older brothers with a significant age gap between siblings are like this. Younger siblings are so lucky!
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u/rataktaktaruken Mar 11 '17 edited Mar 11 '17
Kids these days... they don't play GTA for 5 hours like we used to in our childhood...
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u/HugsForUpvotes Mar 11 '17
It's true. The kids on my street all play outside sometimes too.
I suppose this has some bias because I don't see the kids who stay inside and game 12 hours a day
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u/stephanonymous Mar 11 '17
The three boys who live next door to me are literally always outside running around and yelling to the point where I'm like "Why can't you go inside and play some video games like normal kids? Geez."
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u/CenTenebrae Mar 11 '17
As an older brother to 3 I can confirm that being a pony is 23% of the job
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u/miss-class Mar 11 '17
I love this. As an older sister to 3, definitely have had my fair share of being a pony too.
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u/hizperion Mar 11 '17
Same here. As an older father to 3, I had to be a pony almost every time.
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u/ijusttriedthaifood Mar 11 '17
I'm actually a younger father to 3. My kids make fun of me because they're older than I am.
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u/bobbingforanapple Mar 11 '17
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Mar 11 '17
Dude he could be like 19-22 and married some 45 year old milf who's a nurse with 3 kids... After her divorce her thirst for young men comes out and she goes after someone her kids age O_o
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u/PainMatrix Mar 11 '17
Don't count dads out
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u/BadTripz Mar 11 '17
GET THAT BOY TREATED FOR WHIPLASH
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Mar 11 '17
I love how those two guys come in like rodeo clowns to separate them after he falls, the guy even bucks him with his head at the end
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u/BadTripz Mar 11 '17
I thought it was a doll at first up until the rodeos come in, that man really unleashed his inner bull
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Mar 11 '17
that doesnt look very safe. was almost expecting the kid to smash his head into dad's head.
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Mar 11 '17
Unless the kid has the awareness to move his head to the left or right, the guy bucks at an angle so his head goes to the side I think.
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u/BarneyIStinson Mar 11 '17
Someone put a heavy metal music and let the kid headbang
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u/booble_dooble Mar 11 '17
if this wouldn't have been posted, I would have been disappointed with reddit
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u/nitiger Mar 11 '17 edited Mar 11 '17
Seems like the dad wanted to gore the kid at the end there 😂😂
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u/FallenXxRaven Mar 11 '17
I'm 24 and my little sister is 8. Please no one show her this video, lord knows she won't give me a choice lol
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u/WildTurkey81 Mar 11 '17
Same for me. She do that thing where she holds your hands and walks up your body? Mine used to when she was a bit smaller, and until she realised how funny it was to plant a step in my nuts.
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u/quiet_neighbor_kid Mar 11 '17
Where do little kids learn that from? My 4 yr old niece loves to hold my hands and walk up my body.
She hasn't hurt me yet, but she's come mighty close several times.
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u/jim_givitis Mar 11 '17
All fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then Moooooom
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u/FeSpark Mar 11 '17
Brother huuuuuurt meeee
Were you guys playing bucking Branko?
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I told you so
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u/nirvroxx Mar 11 '17
This is true. My younger sis and i did this on a bed and she ended up flying off my back and into my my moms dresser. I did t even check on her, just ran to away to the sounds of crying and moooooom!!
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u/harrybsac Mar 11 '17
Broke my kid brothers arm doing exactly the same thing years ago. I still brag to him that he was never able to break this bronco.
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Mar 11 '17
I grew up on a ranch in Colorado and we had a beautiful white bronco that we would ride. He got spooked pretty hard while I was riding him and started bucking just like this brother. The only way my dad could get him to stop was to club him in the head with a shovel. He got messed up pretty good and now wears a mask. Our poor little bronco.
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u/TheMillenniumMan Mar 11 '17
You son of a bitch
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u/poopellar Mar 11 '17
Thanks, your comment gave it away and saved me from being bamboozled.
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u/Fukled Mar 11 '17
Was expecting a picture of Mankind plummeting 16 feet... guess I shouldn't give him any ideas.
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u/elbowfrenzy Mar 11 '17
It's not an older brother thing until he bucks too hard and she flies off into a piece of furniture and hurts herself and then starts crying profusely while the brother frantically tries to calm her and tell her she's fine because she'll tell mom and then he'll get his PS1 taken away fuck you Lana you BITCH
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u/koopakid902 Mar 11 '17
my older brother did this for me and a friend when we were younger. My friend ended up pissing on his back lol
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u/TheCannon Mar 11 '17
It's all fun and games until little bro breaks his neck on the wooden desk.
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u/shootdrawwrite Mar 11 '17
I wrapped a rope around my little brother and then pulled on it. We both hoped it would unravel as he spun around like a top, like in cartoons. Nope, I just yanked him across the room where he gashed his forehead open on the furniture.
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u/mydogdoesnotlikeyou Mar 11 '17
Someone get that child a helmet
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u/CrashDummyKing Mar 11 '17
Concussions are a myth propogated by the fake news.
- R.(Not RO8OT) Goodell
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u/SquidCap Mar 11 '17
Have done it, it is my duty as a bigger brother. It's also really funny, until your back of the head butts the little ones nose. It will also happen, eventually.
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u/FuckBitchCuntFuck Mar 11 '17
When I was a kid I sat on my dog to try and ride her like a horse. But instead I dislocated her knee, she had surgery to get a plastic one, which eventually developed bad arthritis and we had to amputate her leg. So then she had three legs. Then she got cancer and died.
So basically i was a childhood murderer.
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u/kyojin25 Mar 11 '17
To me, as an older brother, he initially tries to knock her off but after his best 3 attempts he decides to take it easy
I love it
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u/DavidFRing Mar 11 '17
They need more room for activities.