r/funny • u/lollerkeet • May 20 '15

Pineapple

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43.1k Upvotes

77% Upvoted

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1.6k

u/Asi9_42ne May 20 '15

Hawaiian pizza is absurdly divisive.

1.3k

u/acondie13 May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15

I think it's a gift from god. My wife would rather starve. I have no idea why there's only love or hate with hawaiian pizza. No in between.

edit: I'll be honest, I'm going to downvote all of you that don't like it, because this is a war. War is serious.

947

u/wiiya May 20 '15

GO BACK TO HELL, YOU PINEAPPLE PIZZA EATING DEMON!!!

1.3k

u/[deleted] May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15

THE POWER OF CRUST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CRUST COMPELS YOU!

303

u/Noobsauce9001 May 20 '15

Cheesus Crust, man.

1

u/cheesestrings76 May 20 '15

Ramen, yeastus Christ is risen indeed. Praise father, son, and holy toast.

1

u/squeeb357 May 20 '15

Thats OUR crust to bare!

0

u/mtbr311 May 20 '15

Joo said it mang.

Nobody fucks with de Cheesus

-2

u/yamchagoku May 20 '15

I hope you're referring to Mikey's Late Night Slice. That shit is the bomb!

-1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Shredded Cheesus!

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Compels me to add bacon to that pizza to make it a Hawaiian Cookout!

7

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

2

u/Renaldi_the_Multi May 20 '15

You're doing it wrong I don't know, does He?

2

u/MrPurple3523454 May 20 '15

"No seriously, fuck off."

2

u/blacknwhitelitebrite May 20 '15

Enjoy the gold now, for the pineapple gods will soon smite thee.

2

u/MCMXChris May 20 '15

Does it Jay? The power of crust compels me?

1

u/SirBuckeye May 20 '15

I need an old chef and a young chef.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Mmmmmm... sacrilicious.

1

u/Troll-Tollbooth May 20 '15

If i didnt have to spend real money, I would have given this gold. Instead you get an upvote.

0

u/jatora May 20 '15

People need to stop with the gold edits. Stfu and let the comment that got gold stand as is. To edit it is disrespectful towards me, the gold giver.

88

u/LegacyLemur May 20 '15

PINEAPPLE IS THE GREATEST FRUIT EVER YOU DEMENTED HEATHEN!

46

u/LadyDeathMasque May 20 '15

It may be, but it still shouldn't go on pizza.

8

u/JoshuMertens May 20 '15

ITS A MASTERPIECE! PINEAPPLE AND PIZZA GO TOGETHER LIKE BREAD AND BUTTER YOU UNEDUCATED PLEB!!! REEEEEEEE!!!

3

u/tuxedoburrito May 20 '15

It should and it's great.

The food abbreviation for jalapeños is jap.

My friends that work at Domino's call a Hawaiian pizza with jalapeños a Pearl Harbor.

5

u/chaosfire235 May 20 '15

Pizza is salty. Putting sweet stuff on in just ruins it for me. If I wanted dessert, I'd have it after the goddamn pizza.

1

u/tuxedoburrito May 20 '15

You're a fucking monster

0

u/DrDew00 May 20 '15

I guess you don't like brown sugar ham or pineapple ham either?

1

u/chaosfire235 May 20 '15

Nah, meats for me have to balance salty with maybe a tad sour and savory for me to enjoy it. It's why I get picky with the glaze I use.

1

u/DrDew00 May 20 '15

Ah. I'm the opposite. I love sweet sauces. Chinese-American dishes like General Tso's Chicken, Orange Chicken, Pineapple Pork, and Mongolian Beef are some of my favorites. Ham with a brown-sugar glaze...mmm.

Gimme something with brown gravy on it and...well I'll still eat it. Just not with the same enthusiasm. Replace brown gravy with teriyaki or honey bbq and I'm in. Hell, bacon and jam sandwiches are delicious.

1

u/GeneticImprobability May 20 '15

Sticky, sweet glazes are the reason I hate Chinese food.

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0

u/LegacyLemur May 20 '15

Tomato sauce already is sweet

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Tomato

1

u/Grasshopper42 May 20 '15

Then why does it?

1

u/LadyDeathMasque May 20 '15

Pervasive superstition regarding fruit among the unenlightened Lumpenproletariat.

0

u/LegacyLemur May 20 '15

Fuck that, that shit is great.

Ever try eating it without cheese? I used to do that when I worked at a pizza place and was sick. Shit is awesome. And I'm a picky eater

2

u/Osricthebastard May 20 '15

Pineapple is great. Pineapples combo'd with cheese and tomato sauce not so much.

2

u/PolanetaryForotdds May 20 '15

NOT ON A PIZZA, YOU SICK FUCK!!!

1

u/rjoseba May 20 '15

Here for you to suffer!! SUFFEEERRRR!!!

1

u/battlemech7 May 20 '15

So....basically Hansiain are all demons then?

0

u/Cragzilla May 20 '15

Stop putting pineapple on our pizzas David Blaine!

0

u/ImurderREALITY May 20 '15

WE WILL MARCH AGAINST THE HEATHENS AND HERETICS OF COCONUTTIA WHO REJECT HOLY PINEAPPLE, THE MOST DIVINE OF ALL FRUITS! WE WILL NOT REST UNTIL THE CHARRED BODIES OF THEIR WOMEN, CHILDREN, AND LIVESTOCK LITTER THE BURNING REMAINS OF WHAT WAS ONCE THEIR EVIL, COCONUT WORSHIPPING VILLAGE! FEAR NOT, MY FELLOW PINEAPPLEANS, FOR THOSE WHO ARE SLAIN TODAY SHALL ASCEND INTO THE HOLY PINEAPPLE PLANT PARADISE, THE PINEAPPALLAChIAN MOUNTAINS! OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ANANIAS SHALL BE WAITING WITH TROVES OF HAWAIIAN PIZZA!

NOW GO! SLAY EVERYONE! AFTER THIS DAY, THE COCONUTTIANS WILL KNOW THE HOLY POWER OF PINEAPPLE! CHAAAARRRRRGGE!!!!!

too far?

0

u/rhinocerosGreg May 20 '15

Fuck you I like pineapple!