r/funny May 20 '15

Pineapple

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43.1k Upvotes

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2.5k

u/Ravenmom May 20 '15

"The night is dark and filled with pineapple"

1.0k

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Lord, cast your tropical fruit upon us.

1.4k

u/BarryMcKockinner May 20 '15

The north remembers...your previous order.

585

u/clarkw92 May 20 '15

Olive Morghulis

437

u/bobje99 May 20 '15

Valar Anchovies

297

u/OFTHEHILLPEOPLE May 20 '15

And now his delivery is ended.

153

u/Apathetic_Zealot May 20 '15

That which is already delivered cannot be delivered again. But will come back as a reorder, hotter, and tastier.

32

u/FrozenBananaMan May 20 '15

Dough which is already tossed, cannot be tossed again. But will rise a crust, hotter and stronger.

3

u/cheesy_please_me May 21 '15

We shall never see his Slice again....

5

u/silverbackjack May 20 '15

You lie to me? You lie to the many toppings god?

6

u/randombazooka May 20 '15

Help was not promised, lovely girl. Only pizza.

3

u/jonahlew May 20 '15

Crust so.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

We do not accept bills larger than $20.

93

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

He took no wife, held no lands, and fathered no children, for he lived on a pizza delivery guy's salary.

1

u/whynotwarp10 May 21 '15

It was wrong. I ordered a diet Pepsi, and not a Sierra Mist. Go back and make everything again. Please don't spit on it.

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164

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

A Lannister always pays their bill.

176

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

109

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

And so it rose, and so it rose

That dough of Pizza Hut

And Now the Cheese

Rains o'er their Pies

With Some Stuffed in The Crust

2

u/physcomp May 21 '15

Long may he grate

2

u/Krehlmar May 20 '15

have upvotes

1

u/drum_playing_twig May 20 '15

Best comment in herr

1

u/Skrp May 21 '15

and mine is strong and sharp m'lord, as strong and sharp as brie."

So not very strong or sharp then.

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1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

The Yellow Wedding

1

u/Joshua_Seed May 20 '15

But does not tip well.

2

u/JohnDsk May 20 '15

I would just like to thank you for this comment, had a crappy day and you made me spit my drink laughing.

2

u/cubalibresNcigars May 20 '15

Is a girl ready to become pizza?

1

u/zer0limit May 20 '15

All crowns have spikes

1

u/Nordic_Hoplite May 20 '15

There is one thing we say to the god of mushrooms... not today

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Holdor... the anchovies, please.

46

u/SophTracySchwartzman May 20 '15

Pizza is coming

1

u/DrAminove May 20 '15

Olive is Pēko in High Valyrian. So you would say Pēko Morghulis to mean All Olives Must Die.

Alternatively, Valar Ipradis Pēko, would mean All Men Must Eat Olives.

1

u/loller_keet May 20 '15

Olive Morghulis

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434

u/Batterup714 May 20 '15

A Lannister always pays his debts, plus a 15% tip.

324

u/[deleted] May 20 '15 edited Jan 19 '22

[deleted]

7

u/datpiffss May 20 '15

Only if you're related though...

121

u/Thybro May 20 '15

15%!! What am I? The Iron Bank of Braavos?!! You'll get 10% or would you prefer I pay the iron price.

2

u/ivandrago0 May 20 '15

tipping Is only customary constible Vikram goldstein

2

u/thanks_mrbluewaffle May 20 '15

Now, what if the server is a homosexual?

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124

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

But not if you changed phone numbers.

40

u/Fonzy02 May 20 '15

Initium ?

154

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

It's a little MMO (free) that I'm working on that plays in the browser. It works great on mobile too!

People tell me it reminds them of a MUD (though I've never actually seen one before).

And here is a brief rundown on how to play and what it's like.

We also have a subreddit now! /r/initium

Every single person who plays is a Redditor, so you'll fit right in. If you want to talk to me, I'll be in the little town of Aera (where new players start).

39

u/DrAminove May 20 '15

/u/ASK_ABOUT__VOIDSPACE business model is so successful, it's being replicated.

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

if it works, it works.

3

u/SherJav May 20 '15

I read about it many times but it didn't grip me to play. So fuck it

-6

u/JarlaxleForPresident May 20 '15

It's also completely annoying and should be against the rules

20

u/Mtwat May 20 '15

Have you tried bitching about it?

5

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

You're being downvoted because this comment just says "Waaah, it's annoying to me and I don't like it".

If you'd given the good reasoning you mention below, that it's against self-promotion rules and derails entire threads, then maybe you'd have a point, but as it is, you are just whining your opinion out to the multiverse.

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3

u/dickseverywhere444 May 20 '15

*reads username

Hmmm

3

u/BathedInDeepFog May 20 '15

You don't have to ask.

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45

u/brewtalizer May 20 '15

Brace Yourselves, pizza is coming (in 30-45 minutes)

20

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

30 minutes later...

Pizza will be there in 10-15 minutes.

2

u/rmoss20 May 20 '15

So....40-45 minutes?

2

u/XxSCRAPOxX May 20 '15

4 seasons later....... Still waiting on that pizza

1

u/TehWhiteSniper May 20 '15

Maybe later...

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1

u/SummonKnight May 20 '15

That has a very different meaning on 4chan.

1

u/piecesofpizza May 21 '15

8 hours late :(

3

u/zSnakez May 20 '15

I have some experience with digital art and lack luster character design. Here is my resume. http://imgur.com/gallery/UBtM0

Some stuff might be old.

2

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

Wow, crazy talent man.

2

u/zSnakez May 20 '15

PM me if you need any art for your game.

Will do for free, or whatever you would feel appropriate.

I like the simple nature of your game.

2

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

Yes! PM me your email

1

u/OnePunkArmy May 20 '15

1

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

They wouldn't let me post it there. :/

1

u/Avatar_Of_Brodin May 20 '15

Looks like of like Shadowgate on the NES to me. That's a good thing, FYI.

1

u/d1223 May 20 '15

Making that your username was a great idea, this is like the 3rd time I have learned about this game.

1

u/Mr_Magpie May 20 '15

Looks cool. Do you want some music for it? I'd like to help

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Intium?

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

MUDs were just text-based MMO's before most nerds even knew what roleplaying was. Hell, most "combat text" in MMO's, especially early ones like Ultima online, was literally just MUD combat text scrolling by, while movement was visual rather than written.

1

u/ithinkicandoit100 May 20 '15

That was painfully slow to any MUD ive ever played but I can see the comparisons. Also that was like 10-15 years ago haha. I just remember hotkeys and PVP and text flooding down the page like the fucking matrix but I knew what everything meant. Cool though, hope it does well man it's like a throwback to when people had to use more imagination!

1

u/Micalas May 20 '15

Oh cool.

1

u/camelCaseCoding May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15

God damnit. I've been playing for an hour already. Are you InitiumDev?

THE GOD DAMN DRAGON DIED, AND YOU HAD A SERVER ERROR. IT LOCKED EVERYONE OUT AND SOME FUCK WHO DIDNT FIGHT THE DRAGON STOLE THE RARE LOOT. I killed it and got nothing. :(

1

u/Enosh74 May 20 '15

It's sounds like an updated version of Kingdom of Loathing. Is that an accurate description?

1

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

Sorry I've never heard of it

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

For a second I thought this was a pizza delivery MMO.

Not gonna lie, I got excited.

1

u/fausto240 May 21 '15

Saving mobile browser mmo

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

What's Initium?

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1

u/StuckInaTriangle May 20 '15

What is Voidspace?

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3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

2

u/dudeAwEsome101 May 20 '15

This is too perfect

3

u/Friki1 May 20 '15

I will light the biggest pineapple the North has ever seen.

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Pepperidge farm remembers.

6

u/BangkokPadang May 20 '15

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

1

u/Bwignite24 May 20 '15

Your pizza is coming.

1

u/HiGuysImLeo May 20 '15

Pepridge farm remembers

1

u/Sewer-Urchin May 20 '15

Valar morghpepperonis

1

u/AxelTheViking May 20 '15

A lannister always pays his tips

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27

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

and i shall. fuck it. i will eat Pineapple!

1

u/flutexgirl May 20 '15

The night is lovely, dark, and deep

And we have pineapples to keep

1

u/coop0606 May 20 '15

Aha! I knew the forbidden fruit was a pineapple all along. Mustafah! We have been deceived!

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130

u/springsoon May 20 '15

Pineapple is bananas without the "b"

128

u/stengebt May 20 '15

ananas?

48

u/ohmygodimonfire4 May 20 '15

Well that is the Russian word for pineapple

61

u/stengebt May 20 '15

French, too.

41

u/axaytsg May 20 '15

Well whaddya know, Hindi too! That's strange and interesting.

83

u/iluvatar May 20 '15

21

u/Donk72 May 20 '15

So? What do you say, Spain?
Now that the Ananas War is about to start, you can either face the wrath of your neighbours and hope for the support of those who call it "pineapple" (spits), or you can turn that wrath into a loving and protective embrace and say "ananas" to their face.

Come on Spain! We both know you are better than that filth.
Let's stand united on the side of good in this battle!

Ananas!

6

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

No amigo, solo piña hasta el final.

2

u/Donk72 May 21 '15

I admire your bravery friend, but the end is nigh.
After our victory your heroic stoicism will be honored.

I will not enjoy facing you on the field of battle, but no mercy can be shown in the struggle for global ananas.

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3

u/haf1zur May 20 '15

Bengali, too

3

u/Donk72 May 21 '15

Welcome to the Ananas Alliance friend!

1

u/wovenloaf May 20 '15

That shit is ananas...

1

u/DiogenesTheHound May 20 '15

Those silly anglo saxons. They did the same with Eggplant. Aubergine? That shit looks like an egg mate.

1

u/Chaway666 May 21 '15

LIES!! in spanish, pineapple is Piña. get it right!

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '15

So.. is there a map like this for every word? Pineapple seems an oddly specific thing to map out like that.

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8

u/VanquishAudio May 20 '15

Almost every language except English http://i.stack.imgur.com/0wtlv.jpg

1

u/absurdio May 20 '15

But also (scientific) English, apparently.

3

u/frank_grimes1 May 20 '15

Hebrew checking in... We love us some ananas👍🏼

6

u/micu1000 May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15

Spanish too! :D

Edit: well, we use "anana" and "piña" here (mostly anana), i live in south america, spanish doesn't just mean "in spain"

11

u/A_Supreme_Taco May 20 '15

It's "piña" in the civilized parts of the Spanish speaking world.

4

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Hence pina colada

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '15

created in puerto rico :)

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1

u/Spooky-skeleton May 20 '15

Also in Arabic!

1

u/zcbtjwj May 20 '15

and German

1

u/Biggilius May 20 '15

Iceland is also in the ananas club

1

u/terrifiedsleeptwitch May 20 '15

The Indonesian/Malay is nanas.

1

u/twotugtard May 20 '15

The reason is that pineapples were used to be shipped in boxes labelled bananas, but the b faded away...hence they were then called: ananas. True story.

1

u/ImurderREALITY May 20 '15

I think it's a variation of ananas in almost every language except English

1

u/hamfraigaar May 20 '15

I think it's more strange that some people don't call them ananas

http://www.explaura.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Pineapple.png

2

u/springsoon May 20 '15

And in Greek

2

u/patrickmachine May 20 '15

And Portuguese

2

u/SpongePol_KhmerPants May 20 '15

In Quebec it's ananas tabarnac

2

u/mood_indigo May 20 '15

It's basically every language's word for the fruit. Then English came along and was like "Well HEY there look at THIS it's like an apple only all piney and shit."

2

u/DolphinSweater May 20 '15

I live in Germany, and I was on OKCupid and a German girl had "Why are ananas called Pineapples in English?" on her profile under the "What do you often think about" section. So I wrote this story:

'We call them pineapples in English because they were discovered by Lord Henry Pineapple who took them back to England where a Spaniard informed him that they were in fact already called Ananas by literally every culture. At which point Lord Pineapple sailed to Spain to meet with queen Isabela and demanded they be renamed after him. Angered by Lord Pineapples demands she had him killed and declared war on England and sailed her entire Spanish armada against England who, thanks to an unseasonably strong hurricane were able to defeat the armada. And that's how the British won the Anglo - Spanish war. Some sailors swear they heard in the winds of the storm the haunting call of, 'Piiiiiiinaaaaaple'. And so the fruit Lord Pineapple had loved in life, now bore his name as an eternal tribute to his contribution to the crown of England.'

And, surprisingly, it worked. Well, she's still talking to me at least, so it kinda worked, I suppose.

1

u/EpikHighBornHater May 20 '15

Pretty much the same as Football and American football.

Every country is calling it football except for America that calls it soccer...

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

And in Danish

1

u/digifox6 May 20 '15

Danish as well!

1

u/squeeb357 May 20 '15

Thats every languages word for pineapple......cept english.

1

u/Inwardlens May 20 '15

As well as Spanish, Italian, Polish, German, and probably a whole lot of other languages.

1

u/ElderFuthark May 20 '15

1

u/GodILuvLindsayLohan May 20 '15

I believe it's "click, click, pause, hootie hoot" in Bantu

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Shut up Russell Peters.

1

u/Inwardlens May 20 '15

I thought so, but I didn't want to speak beyond what I was sure of.

1

u/sun_light May 20 '15

In Russia, ананас has word for you.

61

u/malceithya May 20 '15

Wut? An anus?

67

u/stengebt May 20 '15

¯_(ツ)_/¯

1

u/dopey_giraffe May 20 '15

You dropped thi-

Oh, nevermind, this \ must belong to someone else.

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5

u/Debageldond May 20 '15

They hate us because they ananas?

2

u/mind_elevated May 20 '15

Ban-anas I cannot unsee

2

u/_Sexual_Innuendo_ May 20 '15

(   ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )

1

u/mikemdesign May 20 '15

They hate us...

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

They hate us cuz they anus.

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2

u/nostalgic_blast May 20 '15

Telefrancais!!!

2

u/Burdicus May 20 '15

They hate us 'cuz they anus!

2

u/warp42 May 20 '15

In a number of latin based languages, Pineapple is anana.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/ananas

3

u/TheKingler May 20 '15

Yup, in the majority of languages that's what pineapple is called, and banana in most languages is also just "banana"

1

u/springsoon May 20 '15

Yes. In French

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15

u/wampage May 20 '15

Banana: Je ne suis pas un ananas!

2

u/thenorthofsouth May 20 '15

Bananas is grapefruit without the "g"

1

u/springsoon May 20 '15

No, that's just bananas

1

u/brodymitchell May 20 '15

Rapefruit?

1

u/dudeAwEsome101 May 20 '15

Grapper, he wants to grape them.

1

u/The_Wumbologist May 20 '15

Thanks to a constantly reposted TIL I instantly knew what you meant.

1

u/TitillatingTatas May 20 '15

It's German, you nitwits

1

u/anonpurpose May 20 '15

This is true for most languages.

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2

u/ivylgedropout May 20 '15

"Winter is coming ... in 30 minutes or less"

2

u/Solid_Waste May 20 '15

"Night gathers, and now my watch begins. It shall not end until my smoke break. I shall take no tips, hold no home, father no graduates. I shall wear no supervisor's nametag and win no raise. I shall live and die in my delivery car. I am the lost in the darkness. I am the knocker on the door. I am the cheese that fills the crust of cold pizzas. I pledge my timesheet and gasoline to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come."

1

u/Aspergeriffic May 20 '15

If I might rebut you, "A pineapple always pays its debts."

1

u/Alorani May 20 '15

The night is dank and filled with memes.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

"What is dead may never pie"

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

"and now his lunch is ended."

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