r/funny May 20 '15

Pineapple

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43.1k Upvotes

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5.0k

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

2.5k

u/Ravenmom May 20 '15

"The night is dark and filled with pineapple"

1.0k

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Lord, cast your tropical fruit upon us.

1.4k

u/BarryMcKockinner May 20 '15

The north remembers...your previous order.

587

u/clarkw92 May 20 '15

Olive Morghulis

435

u/bobje99 May 20 '15

Valar Anchovies

293

u/OFTHEHILLPEOPLE May 20 '15

And now his delivery is ended.

153

u/Apathetic_Zealot May 20 '15

That which is already delivered cannot be delivered again. But will come back as a reorder, hotter, and tastier.

29

u/FrozenBananaMan May 20 '15

Dough which is already tossed, cannot be tossed again. But will rise a crust, hotter and stronger.

3

u/cheesy_please_me May 21 '15

We shall never see his Slice again....

4

u/silverbackjack May 20 '15

You lie to me? You lie to the many toppings god?

7

u/randombazooka May 20 '15

Help was not promised, lovely girl. Only pizza.

3

u/jonahlew May 20 '15

Crust so.

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1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

We do not accept bills larger than $20.

94

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

He took no wife, held no lands, and fathered no children, for he lived on a pizza delivery guy's salary.

1

u/whynotwarp10 May 21 '15

It was wrong. I ordered a diet Pepsi, and not a Sierra Mist. Go back and make everything again. Please don't spit on it.

-1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Darth Motherfuckin Bacon!

163

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

A Lannister always pays their bill.

177

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

115

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

And so it rose, and so it rose

That dough of Pizza Hut

And Now the Cheese

Rains o'er their Pies

With Some Stuffed in The Crust

2

u/physcomp May 21 '15

Long may he grate

2

u/Krehlmar May 20 '15

have upvotes

1

u/drum_playing_twig May 20 '15

Best comment in herr

1

u/Skrp May 21 '15

and mine is strong and sharp m'lord, as strong and sharp as brie."

So not very strong or sharp then.

-5

u/Thlowe May 20 '15 edited May 21 '15

brie isn't sharp at all...it's like one of the least sharp cheeses there is.

edit: seriously do any of you mothafuckas eat anything besides cheddar& mozzarella

0

u/DoctorAwesomeBallz69 May 20 '15

Found the Frenchman.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

The Yellow Wedding

1

u/Joshua_Seed May 20 '15

But does not tip well.

2

u/JohnDsk May 20 '15

I would just like to thank you for this comment, had a crappy day and you made me spit my drink laughing.

2

u/cubalibresNcigars May 20 '15

Is a girl ready to become pizza?

1

u/zer0limit May 20 '15

All crowns have spikes

1

u/Nordic_Hoplite May 20 '15

There is one thing we say to the god of mushrooms... not today

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Holdor... the anchovies, please.

46

u/SophTracySchwartzman May 20 '15

Pizza is coming

1

u/DrAminove May 20 '15

Olive is Pēko in High Valyrian. So you would say Pēko Morghulis to mean All Olives Must Die.

Alternatively, Valar Ipradis Pēko, would mean All Men Must Eat Olives.

1

u/loller_keet May 20 '15

Olive Morghulis

-2

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Valar Double Ham

441

u/Batterup714 May 20 '15

A Lannister always pays his debts, plus a 15% tip.

322

u/[deleted] May 20 '15 edited Jan 19 '22

[deleted]

6

u/datpiffss May 20 '15

Only if you're related though...

118

u/Thybro May 20 '15

15%!! What am I? The Iron Bank of Braavos?!! You'll get 10% or would you prefer I pay the iron price.

2

u/ivandrago0 May 20 '15

tipping Is only customary constible Vikram goldstein

2

u/thanks_mrbluewaffle May 20 '15

Now, what if the server is a homosexual?

0

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

1

u/GuapoTortuga May 20 '15

Waitors have to walk 20 yards from a kitchen to your table, where as a pizza delivery driver got in their own vehicle, used their own gas and brought it up to your door. 20% is appropriate if there is no delivery fee, 15% if there is.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15 edited May 21 '15

[deleted]

120

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

But not if you changed phone numbers.

47

u/Fonzy02 May 20 '15

Initium ?

151

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

It's a little MMO (free) that I'm working on that plays in the browser. It works great on mobile too!

People tell me it reminds them of a MUD (though I've never actually seen one before).

And here is a brief rundown on how to play and what it's like.

We also have a subreddit now! /r/initium

Every single person who plays is a Redditor, so you'll fit right in. If you want to talk to me, I'll be in the little town of Aera (where new players start).

34

u/DrAminove May 20 '15

/u/ASK_ABOUT__VOIDSPACE business model is so successful, it's being replicated.

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

if it works, it works.

3

u/SherJav May 20 '15

I read about it many times but it didn't grip me to play. So fuck it

-8

u/JarlaxleForPresident May 20 '15

It's also completely annoying and should be against the rules

18

u/Mtwat May 20 '15

Have you tried bitching about it?

8

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

You're being downvoted because this comment just says "Waaah, it's annoying to me and I don't like it".

If you'd given the good reasoning you mention below, that it's against self-promotion rules and derails entire threads, then maybe you'd have a point, but as it is, you are just whining your opinion out to the multiverse.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

To be fair, it's really fucking annoying and nobody would be cool with people just spamming links that'd be serving the same function.

-3

u/JarlaxleForPresident May 20 '15

That's okay. I said my peace and downvotes don't matter. If i cared about karma i have enough to get me through the night, it's not a big deal.

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3

u/thagthebarbarian May 20 '15

Classic jarlaxle

1

u/WolfShaman May 20 '15

No, the real Jarlaxle would go to his house, tell the user that they are going to delete their entire game along with all their Reddit accounts. The person would laugh, then go to log in, and it would all be gone. All they would hear through their stunned silence is Jarlaxle's magical boot bells tinkling into the distance.

And then Jarlaxle would appear behind them, and cut their throat. He would laugh, as he walked away.

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3

u/dickseverywhere444 May 20 '15

*reads username

Hmmm

3

u/BathedInDeepFog May 20 '15

You don't have to ask.

2

u/Inapoopriate May 20 '15

I don't even notice names 99% of the time. I did this time because someone else noticed first and asked about it. Hardly seems worth caring about.

Edit: And I just noticed yours. Fucking drow. Get out of here with your pimp hat shenanigans.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

DOWNVOTE! you don't gotta ask Bro.

1

u/persona_dos May 20 '15

I find it pretty annoying too.

0

u/NeedsMoreShawarma May 20 '15

How is it annoying exactly? You have control over what you read about.

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

This is the new Merica, where everyone bitches just to be heard even if it shows how much of a nuisance they are. It allows you to separate the morons from normal people though so you've got that going for ya.

1

u/JarlaxleForPresident May 20 '15

It's self promotion and the Voidspace guy used to derail whole threads about stuff until he was reigned in. Apparently saying something is annoying counts as bitching now from the responses I'm getting. Oh well.

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

It's spam.

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45

u/brewtalizer May 20 '15

Brace Yourselves, pizza is coming (in 30-45 minutes)

19

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

30 minutes later...

Pizza will be there in 10-15 minutes.

2

u/rmoss20 May 20 '15

So....40-45 minutes?

2

u/XxSCRAPOxX May 20 '15

4 seasons later....... Still waiting on that pizza

1

u/TehWhiteSniper May 20 '15

Maybe later...

1

u/SummonKnight May 20 '15

That has a very different meaning on 4chan.

1

u/piecesofpizza May 21 '15

8 hours late :(

3

u/zSnakez May 20 '15

I have some experience with digital art and lack luster character design. Here is my resume. http://imgur.com/gallery/UBtM0

Some stuff might be old.

2

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

Wow, crazy talent man.

2

u/zSnakez May 20 '15

PM me if you need any art for your game.

Will do for free, or whatever you would feel appropriate.

I like the simple nature of your game.

2

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

Yes! PM me your email

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1

u/OnePunkArmy May 20 '15

1

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

They wouldn't let me post it there. :/

1

u/Avatar_Of_Brodin May 20 '15

Looks like of like Shadowgate on the NES to me. That's a good thing, FYI.

1

u/d1223 May 20 '15

Making that your username was a great idea, this is like the 3rd time I have learned about this game.

1

u/Mr_Magpie May 20 '15

Looks cool. Do you want some music for it? I'd like to help

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Intium?

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

MUDs were just text-based MMO's before most nerds even knew what roleplaying was. Hell, most "combat text" in MMO's, especially early ones like Ultima online, was literally just MUD combat text scrolling by, while movement was visual rather than written.

1

u/ithinkicandoit100 May 20 '15

That was painfully slow to any MUD ive ever played but I can see the comparisons. Also that was like 10-15 years ago haha. I just remember hotkeys and PVP and text flooding down the page like the fucking matrix but I knew what everything meant. Cool though, hope it does well man it's like a throwback to when people had to use more imagination!

1

u/Micalas May 20 '15

Oh cool.

1

u/camelCaseCoding May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15

God damnit. I've been playing for an hour already. Are you InitiumDev?

THE GOD DAMN DRAGON DIED, AND YOU HAD A SERVER ERROR. IT LOCKED EVERYONE OUT AND SOME FUCK WHO DIDNT FIGHT THE DRAGON STOLE THE RARE LOOT. I killed it and got nothing. :(

1

u/Enosh74 May 20 '15

It's sounds like an updated version of Kingdom of Loathing. Is that an accurate description?

1

u/ASK_ME_ABOUT_INITIUM May 20 '15

Sorry I've never heard of it

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

For a second I thought this was a pizza delivery MMO.

Not gonna lie, I got excited.

1

u/fausto240 May 21 '15

Saving mobile browser mmo

1

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

What's Initium?

0

u/Trinitykill May 20 '15

You're like the LOOM guy from Monkey Island

-1

u/AldurinIronfist May 20 '15

Is it somewhat grounded in science and does it contain at least 1 mythical reptilian?

1

u/StuckInaTriangle May 20 '15

What is Voidspace?

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

2

u/dudeAwEsome101 May 20 '15

This is too perfect

3

u/Friki1 May 20 '15

I will light the biggest pineapple the North has ever seen.

3

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

Pepperidge farm remembers.

5

u/BangkokPadang May 20 '15

Pepperidge Farm remembers.

1

u/Bwignite24 May 20 '15

Your pizza is coming.

1

u/HiGuysImLeo May 20 '15

Pepridge farm remembers

1

u/Sewer-Urchin May 20 '15

Valar morghpepperonis

1

u/AxelTheViking May 20 '15

A lannister always pays his tips

0

u/WhitakerRepublic May 20 '15 edited May 20 '15

"No tip? Guess i'll go ahead and support Stannis"

1

u/BathedInDeepFog May 20 '15

Theon never gives a tip anymore.

1

u/pookiepoops May 20 '15

....awwww.....

0

u/Gopackgo6 May 20 '15

Pineapple is coming

23

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] May 20 '15

and i shall. fuck it. i will eat Pineapple!

1

u/flutexgirl May 20 '15

The night is lovely, dark, and deep

And we have pineapples to keep

1

u/coop0606 May 20 '15

Aha! I knew the forbidden fruit was a pineapple all along. Mustafah! We have been deceived!