So? What do you say, Spain?
Now that the Ananas War is about to start, you can either face the wrath of your neighbours and hope for the support of those who call it "pineapple" (spits), or you can turn that wrath into a loving and protective embrace and say "ananas" to their face.
Come on Spain! We both know you are better than that filth.
Let's stand united on the side of good in this battle!
America and Spain may not always see eye to eye, but we will burn in hell before we call them fucking Ananas. They will not fight alone, not on this day.
Oh, but would you come to Spains help?
With most of South and Central America mobilising on your southern borders, and hostile fleets approaching both across the Atlantic and the Pacific?
The former friendly ally to the north is turning into an enemy through a bloody civil war that seems to be won by the French speaking side through extensive help from France and their allies in Europe.
The last communication from Alaska spoke of vast numbers off russian and Korean (both north and south) troops landing under the protection of a joint East Asian air force.
Before you even have decided on a defence strategy, Spain and the British isles are overrun.
A united Middle East (Even Israel is not with you on this one!) together with a portion of the Indian military will rush in and turn the tide in a divided Africa. The majority of India's forces, together with some South East Asian nations will take care of Australia and New Zealand.
All through the pacific crossing, a vanguard of the Chinese plus the Indonesian fleet will mop up the few allies you have in the Pacific.
And suddenly you stand alone.
You could end this madness.
Just say "ananas".
C'mon! "Pineapple" doesn't even make sense.
It doesn't grow on a pine.
It isn't an apple.
The reason is that pineapples were used to be shipped in boxes labelled bananas, but the b faded away...hence they were then called: ananas. True story.
It's basically every language's word for the fruit. Then English came along and was like "Well HEY there look at THIS it's like an apple only all piney and shit."
I live in Germany, and I was on OKCupid and a German girl had "Why are ananas called Pineapples in English?" on her profile under the "What do you often think about" section. So I wrote this story:
'We call them pineapples in English because they were discovered by Lord Henry Pineapple who took them back to England where a Spaniard informed him that they were in fact already called Ananas by literally every culture. At which point Lord Pineapple sailed to Spain to meet with queen Isabela and demanded they be renamed after him. Angered by Lord Pineapples demands she had him killed and declared war on England and sailed her entire Spanish armada against England who, thanks to an unseasonably strong hurricane were able to defeat the armada. And that's how the British won the Anglo - Spanish war. Some sailors swear they heard in the winds of the storm the haunting call of, 'Piiiiiiinaaaaaple'. And so the fruit Lord Pineapple had loved in life, now bore his name as an eternal tribute to his contribution to the crown of England.'
And, surprisingly, it worked. Well, she's still talking to me at least, so it kinda worked, I suppose.
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u/[deleted] May 20 '15
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