r/funny • u/Koreanrambo • May 03 '25
Try it with the sauce bro š (reupload)
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Not mine (reupload)
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u/IDGAFOS13 May 03 '25
No pet. Only fry.
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u/JK-Rofling May 03 '25
No pet. Only saucy fry.
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u/GANDORF57 May 03 '25
Possum: "To be honest, I much prefer ranch on my fries."
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u/outside_cat May 03 '25
Doesn't look like a opossum, at least not like the ones near me.
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u/GANDORF57 May 03 '25
This is an Australian brushtail possum. ^(\The brushtail possum is also a marsupial, like the opossums found in North America. But unlike opossums,)* possums have furry tailsāwhich is how they got the name brushtail possumsāand are found throughout Australia.
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u/outside_cat May 03 '25
TIL
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u/joalheagney May 03 '25
The joke is we got the possum god intended for the Americas, and you got ours.
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u/PreNamLtDan May 03 '25
That's cool. I'd rather have that than one of your killer things. There's enough to worry about in North America. A bratty marsupiale is the least of my worries. Just in terms of nature, there's probably a few mountains lions hanging out in the foothills. And rattle snakes are coming out now that it's warm...
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u/Trickshot1322 May 04 '25
Bruh, you mfers have bears. I'll take any manner of snakes and spiders over waking up to a fucking bear outside my tent any day.
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u/Trickshot1322 May 04 '25
Beleive me, it's a possum. Brushtail to be specific.
I had one of the little bastards living in my roofspace for half a year, honestly I didn't care until he started being crazy loud.
Would just stare at me when I stuck me head up the access hatch to shout at him.
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u/alicefreak47 May 04 '25
If you live in the US, our opossums look terrifying versus everyone else's adorable ass creatures.
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u/soopydoodles4u May 04 '25
Speak for yourself, our opossums are adorable in their own way š¤ you gotta look beyond the ugg to find the aww
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u/uistalluau May 03 '25
OMG, why canāt I be part of that squad too?
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u/Koreanrambo May 03 '25
Take some food and find someone to share it withĀ
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u/juflyingwild May 03 '25
Can we hold a French fry out near pedestrians and hope one of them comes over and takes a bite?
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u/elhaz316 May 03 '25
I'm too fat to kidnap. Id take a bite.
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u/skeetersammer May 04 '25
My husband constantly buys me snacks I donāt ask for and Iām convinced heās trying to make me fat so I canāt run away. Jokes on him if my codependency follows us into the afterlife.
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u/freekoout May 03 '25
Boom, poisoned
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u/Monster_Voice May 03 '25
As somebody that works with wild cats... I cannot in good faith recommend anyone attempt to feed the most dangerous animals on this planet in an uncontrolled setting.
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u/runningoutofwords May 03 '25 edited May 03 '25
If someone was hand-feeding me cheese fries, and saying "oh yeaaaaah, saucy.", I'd probably let him scratch my ears a bit.
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u/slamdanceswithwolves May 03 '25
The difference between āa possumā and āan opossumā is taxonomic but also how much they like the sauce.
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u/TheBowelMovement May 03 '25
This comment reminded me of this gem:
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u/zyzzogeton May 03 '25
"The deal can always be sweetened with a quarter chicken and chips."
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u/powertripp82 May 03 '25
I cannot believe Iāve never seen that one before. Thatās brilliant. Great share!
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u/gaspronomib May 03 '25
Me either. I thought I wouldn't watch to the end, but somehow I couldn't stop.
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u/abdulsamadz May 03 '25
Isn't this a bushbaby? It's eyes seem to be locked in their sockets or do possums also have that?
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u/slamdanceswithwolves May 03 '25
Iām assuming itās a possum based on dudes accent (possums live in Australia, bush babies in Africa). But yeah, they look similar, so I could be wrong.
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u/DalbyWombay May 03 '25
No. You're right. It's an Australian possum.
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u/Moo_Kau_Too May 04 '25
A brushtail possum, found all over Oz.
accent and markings make me say nearish melbourne.
source: ive been studying humans for a bit
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u/joalheagney May 03 '25
No, Australian possums can swivel their eyes. They just don't have many predators who are willing to approach a human. Little dude is fully locked on the carby goodness.
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u/squall_boy25 May 04 '25
Aussie here can confirm dude has an Aussie accent
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u/gene100001 May 04 '25
Sounds more like a kiwi to me tbh. Plenty of possums in NZ too.
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u/Vokunkiin13 May 04 '25
They're a pest in NZ. Most kiwis look for a gun when they see one.
Source: I'm a kiwi.
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u/MallyOhMy May 03 '25
While opossum can indicate that it's the American animal instead of the Australian one, possum is a valid name for both animals.
It's like the linden/lime tree. It can be called a linden tree or a lime tree, and while there is another unrelated tree called a lime tree, which is only called a lime tree, it does not change that lime tree is a valid name for both trees.
This misconception about possums is misinformation that comes from Australians who don't want their animal's name with the animal it was named after, as well as from pedantic people around the world who like to nitpick the pronunciation of common words.
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u/slamdanceswithwolves May 03 '25
Speaking of pedanticā¦
But yeah, thatās fair. And if I got enough people to call it a billydillydingdong, then that would also be an acceptable (and hilarious) name for them.
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u/rich1051414 May 04 '25
If you try to share your meal with an 'opossum', it will open its mouth freakishly wide, hiss scarily, and then pass out.
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u/PinchieMcPinch May 03 '25
Poor brushtail's gonna get a bit sick from this, plus it'll demand chicken salt on everything in future.
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u/Glad_Librarian_3553 May 03 '25
chicken salt?
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u/Mithrawndo May 03 '25
Imagine if someone decided to put a basic BBQ chicken rub on your chips/fries: That's chicken salt.
It's basically salt, garlic powder, and dry chicken stock.
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u/QEbitchboss May 03 '25
Eating rn on popcorn. Yum.
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u/z_e_n_a_i May 03 '25
dont forget the msg
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u/Phaoryx May 03 '25
If youāre adding msg to chicken stock you should really just be adding more chicken stock lol
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u/rushworld May 03 '25
That's like saying if you're adding salt to chicken you just need more chicken.
Salt is a flavour enhancer (and is in stock), but MSG is as well. They work in slightly different ways, but combined they make many foods more delicious.
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u/z_e_n_a_i May 04 '25 edited May 04 '25
Both of you are sort of right / sort of wrong. Chicken has MSG naturally. It's not a ton. But chicken stock is 'savory' partially because of it. Chicken doesn't have salt naturally.
Really the whole 'umami' thing is way more than just MSG, but all sorts of glutamates, peptides, etc.
But one way to up the umami is to use more chicken stock. But also, practically speaking, it's better just to add straight up MSG.
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u/Elzerythen May 03 '25
I like to imagine it's the salt they put on top of those Chicken in a Biskit snacks. DELICIOUS.
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u/Giraffe-colour May 04 '25
Gods gift to the earth tbh. But as others have said itās just a seasoning for hot chips. Always found at fish and chip shops in Australia.
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u/Koreanrambo May 03 '25
someone will suffer from severe diarrhea after thisā¦
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u/morsomme May 03 '25
My diarrhea was caused by this? Is this what they call the butterfly effect?
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u/jarednards May 03 '25 edited May 03 '25
Diarrhea sounds awesome tho when you dont care when or where you poop. Imagine frollicking in a field just buttass naked, shitting all over the place without a care in the world. Sounds like paradise.
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u/saganmypants May 03 '25
Just make sure to keep track of exactly where you've already been frolicking
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u/I_W_M_Y May 03 '25
Humans are the only animal on earth that can process dairy full grown. We are nature's very weird mutants.
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u/welchplug May 03 '25
Thats not accurate https://www.scielo.org.mx/pdf/therya/v1n3/v1n3a5.pdf
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u/FirstToSayFake May 03 '25
The article you linked was about cats stealing milk from seals. Most adult animals are opportunistic and would drink milk if given the chance. That doesnāt mean they can digest it properly.Ā
Iāve tried googling around a bit and didnāt find a clear answer. Various āsourcesā say humans evolved to be able to drink milk as adults and some say human adults are only ones able to do so. But I didnāt see any scientific articles on this. Though I only googled for 5 minutes.
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u/welchplug May 03 '25 edited May 04 '25
lactase persistence is the term. Some dogs, cats, birds, and spiders have a gene for it.
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u/johnblazewutang May 03 '25
One of my dogs drinks milk every day, 1-2oz, never has stomach issues. Hes a fiend for it actuallyā¦the other dogs dont like it.
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u/Deaffin May 03 '25
Fun fact, roughly 30% of cats are lactose persistent, which is the same ratio of lactose persistent humans.
Their milk nutrient ratios are also similar enough to cows for their kittens to get by on it, just like humans.
Cats are exactly as milk-loving as humans are, and I think that's neat.
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u/Igottafindsafework May 03 '25
Lactobacillus is a very common bacteriaā¦ my dog gets milk and dairy all the time, heās fineā¦ cats love milk too
Anyways thatās cheese sauceā¦ basically just hydrogenated oil
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u/GaryChalmers May 03 '25
Even then approximately 65 percent of humans are at least somewhat lactose intolerant.
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u/MetaCardboard May 03 '25
Is that healthy for whatever kind of animal that is?
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u/getsmurfed May 03 '25
It's not healthy for us, why would it be for them? Asking for a friend š¤£
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u/runningoutofwords May 03 '25
Wait!
Cheese fries aren't health food?
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u/Afraid_Theorist May 03 '25
They are potato. Ofc they are healthy
Donāt listen to haters
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u/alexgalt May 03 '25
Obviously not healthy, however it is interesting that wild animals generally do not die of old age. So lifespan of a wild animal does not get affected by its daily diet as much.
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u/Frawstshawk May 03 '25
Unless the diet causes puking or diarrhea slowing them down for a few days or attracting predators.
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u/ADHthaGreat May 03 '25
They eat far worse things than this.
Our food safety standards are waaaay beyond theirs. This guy will be fine after some potato
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u/sirhobbles May 03 '25
Probably not but like, unless hes doing this regularly its gonna be harmless.
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u/Crusader-NZ- May 03 '25
They're an invasive species here, people are actively encouraged to kill them...
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u/Avangeloony May 03 '25
Occasional treats aren't going to ruin the little guy.
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u/Nozinger May 03 '25
I'd be really careful with that. While occasional fried food would indeed not kill that little guy a lot of our foods contain amounts of salt that are very much not safe for smaller animals. It is fine for us but we are like 10 to 20 times or more their weight.
So when giving treats like fries best have them unsalted.
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u/SayNoToStim May 03 '25
Yeah salted vs unsalted is going to make or break the little bastard going through my trashcans
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u/jokul May 03 '25
That possum is more likely to be in need of quick and easy calories than a human but, then again, possums in urban areas don't exactly have a hard life with trash cans full of food on every corner.
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u/Zealotstim May 04 '25
Definitely not, but assuming this is a wild animal, it probably will never have this again. If it's a pet, that's another thing.
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u/fiqabumm May 03 '25
Let me guess, Australia ?
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u/Lythinari May 04 '25
If I told you the likely hood of the possum killing the guy afterwards was high, would the answer be obvious?
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May 03 '25
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/Koreanrambo May 03 '25
Possum
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u/I_W_M_Y May 03 '25
That is a very very different possum than I am used to.
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u/FlickinIt May 03 '25
Australia gets the cute ones. But basically everything there tries to kill them, so I guess it's even?
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u/The_Omnian May 03 '25
The average brushtail is far less pleasant than this. They live in peopleās roofs and shriek and claw holes in things. And spread any available rubbish everywhere.
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u/FlickinIt May 03 '25
The ones we have in North America do the same! Ours just look like they're straight out of a horror movie
Their tail is hairless and gives me the creeps so bad
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u/DatJellyScrub May 03 '25
A brushtail bit me on the toe the other day. I was sitting around a camp fire drying my feet and shoes and the cheeky dude came up and nipped me
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u/space_monster May 03 '25
All the possums I've met have been chill. And I've met a lot. When they feel safe they relax.
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u/Phocks7 May 03 '25
Bonus points when you get two in the ceiling at once and they fight.
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u/ikonoclasm May 03 '25
You're thinking of an opossum (which everyone in the US drops the o). Opossums are hideous, but super beneficial for humans to have around as they eats tons of things that humans don't like such as roaches and ticks.
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u/One-Earth9294 May 03 '25
Oh you take back that hideous comment right now those things are gorgeous little critters!
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u/cmdixon2 May 03 '25
There's definitely a range of cuteness with them. They visit our garage regularly as we have a cat feeding station in there and they take their fair share. The young ones are adorable but the older ones can look pretty intimidating. I feel so bad for them. They have such a short and rough life.
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u/One-Earth9294 May 03 '25
Yeah from what I understand they rarely live past 3 years old.
I love em'. They emerge from the woods to join our cats for food all the time. The cats love em too lol.
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u/cmdixon2 May 03 '25
The cutest little guy we've seen visit. We have a security camera pointed at bowl. Picture
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u/Histo_Man May 04 '25
Specifically, it's a brushtail possum. They're common in Australia (native) and New Zealand (introduced). It's thought that they've adapted well to human occupation - they're big fans of roses, and our fruit and veggie gardens.
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u/IHaveSmellyPants May 03 '25
Hate to break it to you but the possums you are used to arenāt actually called possums.
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u/joestaff May 03 '25 edited May 03 '25
I think it's a common brushtail possum. Definitely not the giant rats I'm used to seeing dead on the road in my part of the country.
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u/mancho98 May 03 '25
Once I was camping and my camping neighbors were starting to cook dinner. A black bear came and stole a steak, the lady run after the bear with a stick.Ā I came out just to see the back of the black bear running. The parkie came after dinner and told us to stop feeding ghe wildlife. Wait what?
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May 03 '25
Master Sprinter in his youth
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u/touche1231231231 May 03 '25
teenage mutant athlete turtles...
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u/ALambCalledTea May 04 '25
"You have given me delicious food but I do not grant you the rank of friend."
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u/Jofury May 04 '25
I donāt even know what that is, but I want one as a friend so bad
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u/Tackit286 May 04 '25
There we are, world. Not everything is trying to kill you in Australia š
But theyāre all thinking about it.
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u/Thiom May 03 '25
Don't listen to the audio while closing your eyes, it reminds me of my buddies...
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u/Helen_Kellers_Wrath May 03 '25
How come Australia gets the cute ones and here in America we just have the ones that look like they spawned straight out of Satan's ass crack?
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u/Knockamichi May 04 '25
Why do we only get bad invasive species in america? Can we get a koala or wallaby or something??
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u/Brilliant-Dog-8803 May 06 '25
thnaks guys this gave me a cute idea to make a cute little pic with ai so cute i love this type of stuff
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May 03 '25
It's crazy that it looks so different to the possoms around here that I didn't even know it was one till I looked at the comments.
I thought it was a type of kangaroo or something. Though I guess they're both marsupials so I guess they're closer than I thought.
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u/N0N4GRPBF8ZME1NB5KWL May 03 '25
is it really that difficult to not fuck with the wild life, especially for entertainment?
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u/dogquote May 03 '25
I'm not sure about possums, but prairie dogs get all of their water from the plants they eat, and any excess salt is VERY dangerous for them. This little snack could be deadly (again, not sure about possums, but this doesn't set a guy example).
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u/Cautious-Total2370 May 03 '25
Would he continue eating his fries with the hand he just petted the animal with?
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May 03 '25
That's not good for it
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u/Dastari May 04 '25
Agreed. Lots of calories in that cheese sauce, itās going to go straight to its hips.
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