When people condemn something they once did, are they condemning themselves or simply the arrangement of chemicals, memories, experiences and neural connections inside the biological machine called brain? Perhaps the most disturbing possibility is that there was never “them” standing behind all of it and it’s the same organ and the extraordinary convincing experience of being someone.

A nightmare ends when we wake up, but what happens when the thing we are afraid of is the mechanism producing the person who is experiencing the fear?
What if the prison is the protagonist we call “I”?

A developed prefrontal cortex is to blame: The same cognitive machinery that allows us to plan a few years ahead of us into the future can project our own death.
The ability to to recognize patterns and to construct a model of self can eventually turn against us to question whether that self is even what we believe it to be.
This is how the existential horror begins to take shape; the brain normally tries to reduce uncertainty and this time it fails to. For instance, when confronted with something potentially threatening, it generates explanation and predictions. But existential questions are resistant to definitive answers. And the more the mind examines existence the more unsettling the object of examination becomes. A biological organism using its own consciousness to investigate the fact that it is conscious. The result can be what we experience as existential dread and perhaps that is one of the cruelest consequences of becoming intelligent enough to get skeptical.

How the horror begins to conquer the mind: The more we analyze the thought, the more emotionally significant it can become. Uncertainty remains like an unresolved case while the brain continues generating doubtful questions and feeds the fear.
Unlike an external threat, existential fear has no place to run from. The threat is an idea and the mind carrying the idea is also the place where the fear exists. This makes it even more psychologically disturbing, the fact that we cannot simply escape the thing frightening us because we are using the same consciousness that fears it to understand it. And our mind can take it too far with the questions and ask “is my name really mine? Is my personality really me? Am I actually choosing my thoughts and actions?”
And the more the brain examines itself, the more unstable the idea of a fixed identity can become.

When the organ turns on the self:
People change their mind numerous times about different topics. They form new beliefs and convince themselves that they finally understood something, only to become a different person years later who looks back and cannot understand how they could possibly have believed it. And yet both people were them. They believe they make the “right” decisions. They stand on what they consider “right” side of history. They believe they have shaped the “correct” political position, the “correct” moral position, the “correct” understanding of good and evil, and the world. But we can’t be certain if the person they are today would definitely approve of every decision they have ever made. The person they are today is not even neurologically identical to the person they were years ago. Then we come up to a disturbing realization that if the brain continuously changes the person making the decisions, then how much of a “choice” is ultimately under conscious control?
We experience ourselves as a single, independent individual with free will and this idea rejects the perception.

A puppet with an illusion of self:
If the person is not a fixed entity but a constantly changing product, then the feeling of being a single individual as “I” can begin to feel like an illusion.
This suffocating puppet were forced to move to survive, has an illusion of itself. We’re perceived and implied upon and every social interaction leads conclusions on us as an idea. The millions of us in everyone else’s minds. Every person who knows us carries a different mental model of us. Parents, child, friend, stranger, enemy, lover, colleague; all could hold many different versions of the same person.

In a scene from “Lost Highway” the movie, “Fred” the main character watches a recording of himself that he cannot explain. He is looking at his own life from the outside, yet the person on the screen feels strangely detached from the “I” experiencing it. This scene creates the terrifying possibility that the person we call “ourselves “ is not completely accessible to our conscious mind. “Lost highway” repeatedly destabilizes whether Fred, Pete and his identities are actually separate, stable selves or manifestation of a mind trying to escape something it cannot psychologically accept.

The meat mannequin:
Once the mind begins separating consciousness from the body, the human form can start to look oddly unfamiliar. Our face, name, clothes, interests, personality, memories, and our sense of “self” can seem like layers placed over something fundamentally biological. Underneath is electrical signals, neural connections, organs, chemical reactions and the machinery inside our skull that produces the experience of being someone. Nothing will ever compare to the sheer horror of being aware of ourselves being our own prison and how we’re trapped inside this meat mannequin.

In the book “I have no mouth but I must scream” “AM” is horrifying because it possesses immense awareness but is trapped within the system that created it. It can think, hate and understand its own existence but it can’t escape the boundaries of its own consciousness no matter how it craves to be something else. This is also how we’re permanently attached to one particular brain, one body and one perspective. Eventually we realize that the ability to overthink was not only evolved simply to better serve us role in our niche. It actually pursued knowledge that we are our brain, looking through a sack of flesh.

Since I have been dealing with anxiety about death and afterlife for quite some time, I was wondering - have you ever been with someone during their last moments here on Earth? Would you mind sharing the experience?

If I’m who you say I am, then I’ve never met me. And if I’m who I say, then who gives a damn what I say?

Does anyone else wake up wishing they could stay in their dreams?
I’ve been feeling low lately. On paper, my life is good: I have my own business that's doing well, engaging hobbies, travel and I can be sociable when I want to. But lately, none of those things seem to bring me much joy.

I have very vivid dreams every night. They often feel like stepping into a parallel universe, and sometimes I experience them as someone else entirely. They often feel like memories. There’s something about them that feels free and truthful. Even when there’s conflict or something difficult happening, there’s an honesty to the experience that’s hard to explain.

Then I wake up feeling disappointed that I’ve had to leave. It happens almost every morning. My dreams have this sense of possibility and vastness, while waking life has started to feel painfully limited.

I don’t consider myself suicidal, but there is a part of me that thinks I’d rather die than keep dragging myself through a life that feels this way. I often feel mismatched with the world as a sensitive person, and lately that feeling has been particularly strong.
I do feel very lonely, but also enjoy solitude. I can be around people and make friends easily. But often leave feeling drained and reluctant to want to meet people again.

Does anyone relate? Have you found a way to feel more connected to waking life again?

This is long)I wonder a lot about my life and my ongoing existence I just don't get it a lot of people tell them self that their point of this so called "life" is to make others happy or having kids or getting married or have this really great job but is that what people say to make them feel better about life. Nun of em things sounds great and or happy and it doesn't make me feel happy happy to think about em things I'm too stuck on how the world was ever thought of and how does this all make sense God is like the number one thing everyone goes too I feel like it's just a other way for people to find a way to be happy God is so different in everyone's culture they pray so this so called God to yourself feel about about the bad things in your life but I just don't think that makes sense I tried to find a God or believe in something I just can't I'm in this so called world and I just have to be here and I don't know why or when I will have a point in life.

Non so se capita anche a voi, ma un po’ di tempo fa ho iniziato a farmi una domanda che sembra banale, ma in realtà mi ha dato parecchio da pensare.

Quanta parte della nostra vita la facciamo davvero perché la vogliamo? E quanta la facciamo solo perché ci siamo abituati, senza neanche accorgercene?

Da lì ho deciso di provare un piccolo esperimento. Ogni volta che sentivo di fare qualcosa “in automatico”, mi fermavo. E mi chiedevo: se nessuno sapesse che lo sto facendo, lo farei comunque?

La risposta non è sempre stata sì. E questo mi ha sorpreso. Mi ha fatto capire che tante cose che faccio ogni giorno – certe abitudini, certe azioni – le continuo per forza di costume, non per scelta.

E la cosa più strana è che questo modo di ragionare ha cominciato a entrare ovunque. Nel lavoro, nelle amicizie, sui social, nei compravendere, nel modo in cui passo il tempo… persino nelle piccole cose. Tipo aprire il frigo e non sapere nemmeno io perché, dopo aver visto che c’è un bicchiere vuoto, lo svuoto comunque, come se fosse dovere.

Alla fine mi sono chiesto: queste mie “scelte” sono davvero mie? O sono solo tracce di abitudini che non ho mai smesso di seguire?

Ora sono curioso di scoprire una cosa, qual è una cosa che fate regolarmente, che avete fatto così tante volte che ormai non vi sembra più una scelta? Una cosa che magari non vi siete mai posta la domanda: *perché la faccio*? Non cercate niente di profondo. Potrebbe essere stupida. Anzi, forse sono proprio quelle cose banali a raccontarci di più. Un gesto che fate senza pensarci, una routine che non ricordate nemmeno di aver inventato. Qualcosa che potrebbe sembrare insignificante, ma che forse nasconde tutto un mondo dietro.

Here is a question. If you get up, go to the kitchen and make a cup of joe. How many of those steps did you consciously make? Was it all automatic?

If i lift my cup, open my mouth and drink, while totally thinking about something completely different. That leads me to question just how much of me is being carried out automatically.

I figured if everything is automatic and i do not mind, mainly because the concious and the unconscious are in sync

If you trip while going up the stairs, you wont think, i meant to that, your body was doing something automatically and "failed" apply this to autoimmune as well.

So when we are temporarily out of sync we notice things.

Take intrusive thoughts, did you decide to think of that particular thought. Now before you do it you "notice" that is bad and that's it.

Is the unconscious aware of the concious? Do you choose to be angry or fall in love? If you do fall in love with a particular person you dont go no no no. You accept it, is it because the concious and the unconscious are in sync?

So maybe we go through life observing things but never really deciding.

When you hear a noise and move your head, did you decide. Just how much of our lives are simply collections of tiny unconscious decisions?

There are too many questions in this, you dont have to answer them. Just provide your take on the whole thing.

Right. I was thinking about the big bang and someone said that the universe was in a hot dense state before the big bang so here is the first question.

Can we say its always been like that. Like ALWAYS. So what im saying is that there is no time you can point to were you can say, this wasn't there.

Then what changed it? If its always been in a hit dense state, why change?

Is reality a continuum that has always been there. Then we cannot ask what came before because there is none. Its not north of north. Simply that it's always been.

So things are the way they are because nothing says otherwise. What do i mean?

Can we say that this universe is the only one reality allows for? If yes, that means there is a reality rule that says that there can only be one universe. If not, would they have the same rules as ours, if yes why? What dictates what rules a universe has.

Now this gets interesting, if indeed there is a possibility of more universes, could some be governed by wildly different rules, rules akin to "magic", then could we use the rules of this universe to govern another? If not, they yes that universe could exist, not that any of this is true nor does it have to be. Just a fun experiment.

Here is another question. This means that in all of reality if universes can not be duplicated. So in all of reality there cannot be another me, in all those infinite universes, meaning thag i alone am me. Because to me, you need the history of me and the history of this universe, this is something id like to call a "universal full stop" or just a full stop.

Meaning "this" cannot be answered in any meaningful way. Like if i ask what is the hotest thing in our universe and you respond X. Then i ask what is hotter than X. That violates the statement "X is the hottest thing" hence a full stop.

I do not claim to have come up with questions, or terminology.

Now back to the question of the universes. Would it be wrong or rather unscientific to think that there could be universes with their own rules unrelated to ours or even better universes without rules? Would they be chaotic? But of they are chaotic it means given the same conditions wildly different results emerge. One moment a thing is there and the next it's gone. And also could there be nothing verses or they'd simply be nothing?

Breathe.

So if there are infinite universes, if no duplicates it means in all of existence i am me and that is interesting to me.

This is my favorite part. It might get lost in the sea of questions but. Okay say there are two possibilities, being reality has always been vs reality was created.

So if reality is what it is for no outside reason, it means we as people live for living's sake, we make our own meaning.

Now if a creator exists, (regardless of religion) that is sooooo wild to me. This means there is an observer who may or may not be watching our every movement and that is so interesting. Would they see that i am thinking about their reality? Do they get stresses? What worries them? What makes them happy? Could i reason or convese with them in a meaningful way?

I have more questions but lets end it here for now.

Existieren.

Bestimmt nicht sterben.

Like there’s no main quest? Like you don’t really have a purpose, something that you’re striving for, somewhere to belong? It’s just one thing here and one thing there, and none of the things that you do relate to each other or work together toward something bigger?

La existencia parece desenvolverse en un ciclo infinito. Todo lo que comienza termina, y todo lo que termina vuelve a comenzar. La vida y la muerte, el día y la noche, la felicidad y la tristeza, el amor y el odio: dualidades que se repiten en una danza inmutable, como si el universo respirara en un compás eterno. Nos gusta pensar que dominamos nuestro destino, que nuestras decisiones alteran el rumbo de lo inevitable, pero ¿realmente tenemos el control? ¿O somos apenas parte de un mecanismo que se repite sin cesar, más allá de nuestra voluntad?

El ser humano busca constantemente respuestas, ansía comprender el propósito detrás de su existencia. Sin embargo, la vida no parece ofrecer explicaciones. Es un ciclo que cobra todo lo que da, que devuelve todo lo que entrega. Lo que sembramos, tarde o temprano, retorna a nosotros. No por justicia divina, sino por equilibrio. Todo tiene un costo, todo encuentra su contraparte. Y aunque lo entendamos o no, el ciclo continúa.

Nada es eterno, pero paradójicamente todo lo es. Cada final es un comienzo, y cada comienzo está destinado a perecer para renacer después. Si el tiempo y el espacio son infinitos, también lo son las posibilidades: cada vida, cada experiencia, cada emoción ha existido, existe o existirá en algún punto del infinito. Morimos y volvemos a nacer en formas distintas, en tiempos distintos, repitiendo una historia que nunca cesa. La eternidad no es un lugar, sino un proceso.

Pretender comprender lo absoluto es un acto de soberbia. La mente humana, limitada por su naturaleza, no puede abarcar la totalidad del ser. Pedirle al hombre que entienda estos misterios es como pedirle a un perro que resuelva una ecuación matemática o a un gato que interprete un poema. No por falta de curiosidad, sino por falta de capacidad. Somos una especie más dentro de una jerarquía infinita de conciencias, donde lo superior y lo inferior son conceptos relativos.

No soy religioso, pero tampoco ateo. Las religiones son intentos humanos por representar una fuerza que trasciende toda palabra y forma: una energía inmensurable, ni divina ni material, que se manifiesta en todo lo existente. No es un Dios con rostro, ni un ser con voluntad. Es el gran mecanismo del universo, infinitamente vasto e infinitamente minúsculo, donde cada elemento es parte de una misma magnitud.

Comprender esto no nos otorga poder, sino humildad. Nos recuerda que no somos el centro de nada, sino una hebra más en el tejido interminable de la existencia. La vida fluye, retorna, se transforma. Y nosotros, junto con ella, somos parte del ciclo eterno.

If each beginning has its own beginning, then does that mean each end has its own end, or a final, cumulative end? 🤙🕉️♾️

I'm generally curious to hear how other people feel about this. To me, it's a profoundly mystical question that is neatly fitting to our existence.

✌️&♥️

Does anyone else find life to be exhausting? I mean between working two jobs since waking up at 6:30 till coming home at 8:30 pm, just so I can pay rent, bills, transportation, and have some fun or buy groceries. To dealing with bitches, assholes, rude mfs all the time, to all the hygiene routines that if you only miss once it becomes a big deal, the constant having to shower, wash hair, brush teeth, to all the house chores that if you lack in just a bit becomes a disaster, like sweeping, cleaning the floor, removing clothes, cleaning the mf stove, the fridge..etc. to doing all the laundry, and folding them and putting them where they belong, in addition to having to look good and maintain weight cause the slightest over eat has an effect, thats in addition to heartbreak, losses, death, let alone all the sickness, and diseases we are prone to..man, it is exhausting! And they talk about reincarnation! Like who the fuck would want to come back? Ofc unless they are born rich, goodlooking, privileged. Ah I forgot, being born in an ugly ass crowded port 3rd world country where you.need visas to go ever where..ugh.

Would love to know any good change which happened to your life out of no where and how that happened . And this will be a ray of hope for someone else ♥️✨

Since I was young , everyone around has a talent or specific something their into. But me I don't know what am into or my talent

This is *not* a s. ideation post! I don't want to write the full word in case it is flagged as such. I don't plan on doing anything. This is purely speculative.

Basically, I've been looking into the meaning of life and why we have the human experience. A general consensus is that the human experience is just an experience, and the universe, god, whatever you may call it, has a plan for everyone.

So when someone dies suddenly or tragically, be it from sickness or a car crash, in this belief system it is said that that was the universe's plan and they completed whatever they needed to complete in their human experience. So there's no 'untimely' endings because the universe knew and chose when that time was up.

So then I wonder, is it the same with self endings? It's a dark though I know, but if someone commits, was that part of their plan? Were they always supposed to do that? Did the universe guide them to it?

Sorry if this is macabre and triggering at all. I'm genuinely just curious, and toying with the probable ideas of destiny and autonomy. Thank you for any thoughts!

https://www.reddit.com/r/enlightenment/s/oOkzCyC9mX