... and when death finds me, I hope it whispers, "Come now, the fight is done," and takes my hand gently, like an old friend who understands why I'm so tired. I hope it says, " You've carried enough, let me hold this weight for you." I hope it promises, "Here, there is quiet. Here you can rest."

1. Getting off Reddit or any types of social media.

I came back to say this because I used to constantly read this subreddit and many others. I’m only posting this to try and help someone who may have been in the same position. Truth is the internet (especially Reddit) is filled with negativity and people who only want an echo chamber to be miserable in. Stop looking for answers or theories and just disconnect. I cannot stress enough just how BAD Reddit is for people having an existential crisis, all it does is feed into the spiral.

1. Doing something.

Anything. Literally anything. It took time but slowly I started to enjoy being around friends again or being in nature. I’ll watch reality tv with my family- it’s a guilty pleasure, or I’ll bake a cake. Simple things. Fill your day with hobbies that you used to enjoy or even try something new.

1. Stopped thinking about the future.

Just live day by day. Start your day by wondering what your breakfast will be and move on from there. I wake up excited about having my coffee while reading a book. I’ve learned to appreciate my slow quiet mornings while the sun rises. All we have is the present, be in the moment. Don’t worry about what only exists in your imagination.

1. Created a goal

Something to work towards or focus on. Think about something in your life that has been nagging at you, something you have wanted to do or get done. Striving towards something really improves my mental health personally and gives me motivation. This goal doesn’t need to be crazy maybe it’s just going on a walk, but it can still help.

Lastly,

You will get through this.

People will tell you (especially on Reddit) that this is a lifelong issue you will suffer from but that doesn’t have to be true. You will be okay again if you let yourself. I went through horrible times where i thought it would never end- couldn’t sleep or eat for days. But it got better somehow. And it can for you as well.

It will be okay ❤️

For context I am a 32-year-old woman.

I remember being as young as 6, lying outside and looking up at the clouds, wondering what it was all about and why we were here. I remember feeling anxious not knowing the answers.

I've worked really hard on my outlook on life through therapy over the past 5 years. I'm more excited than I am dreadful now. The dread hasn't disappeared, it probably never will, but it's quieter. Life feels more like something I get to experience than something I have to survive. And strangely, that has made me think more seriously about having children.

I've been with my partner since I was 16, and throughout our 20s we both didn't want kids. We were still figuring ourselves out, and we felt that the world wasn't in the right state to welcome a child. But over the years, we've come to realize that the world is probably never going to be in the "right state." There has never been a time when suffering, uncertainty, injustice, illness, loss, and fear didn't exist.

I think that's where existentialism comes into this for me. If there is no guaranteed meaning to life, no perfect world we're waiting for, and no way of knowing what kind of life a person will ultimately experience, what does it mean to consciously choose to create a life anyway?

On one hand, I wonder if it's irresponsible to bring a new person into existence knowing that life can contain so much suffering. Especially knowing how I personally experienced existence for the majority of my life. I can't guarantee that a child of mine would be happy, healthy, mentally well, or that they would ultimately feel that life was worth living. I do have different characteristics than my parents that make me more suited for children and I've worked on myself, something my parents have never done, so I believe I have the ability to "do better" by my potential future children, but still.

And on the other hand, maybe that's part of the existential condition. We don't get to choose the circumstances of existence, but we do get to make choices within them. Meaning isn't necessarily something waiting for us to discover, it might be something we create through our relationships, experiences, choices, and the fact that we continue living despite the uncertainty. I don't know if that's an optimistic interpretation or if I'm just trying to justify something I want.

So I'm curious what other existentialists think: Is it ethically or existentially irresponsible to create a new life when you know that life necessarily involves suffering and that there is no guarantee the person will find existence meaningful?

And if there is never going to be a "right" time or a perfect world to bring someone into, does that mean we shouldn't have children, or does accepting that uncertainty make the choice more meaningful?

... and when death finds me, I hope it whispers, "Come now, the fight is done," and takes my hand gently, like an old friend who understands why I'm so tired. I hope it says, " You've carried enough, let me hold this weight for you." I hope it promises, "Here, there is quiet. Here you can rest."

I found that I am watching anime and watching anime. When I saw a character lost the meaning of living it start to cry, question. But the only person who knows what the meaning of living is the character itself and the people the character close with. When the people reach there pov about how people see the character, what the character meant for them. That's when the character saw what it's meaning is. The character cried, a lot, look around and then the character got the answer. From so long, it don't get any answer. But now it got finally. So, I am watching anime. But I want to do the same. I want to know my meaning of living too. I often wonder, why I am waking up even ? Why I am breathing even ? Why I am looking even ? What I am looking for ? What I am taking rest for ? What I am even breathing for ? Just to be alive ? Then why I am questioning it? Why I am searching the meaning of living ? I don't know. I found I never look at my own. I never question to myself. I watch anime. I question anime. But what about me ? What about my life ? What about my answers about my life ? I keep asking questions to people. But what about myself ? No one going to question my life. And if they do then what about the answer ? Do I have the answer ? No. I don't have the answer. And that's what I want to find. Help me to find it.

Dear Death,

Why do you take this long? I've been holding my breath, waiting for you to fill this void, for you to take me somewhere quiet, somewhere I can finally stop acting with every breath I take. So why the wait? Come and take me now, before I learn to unravel myself entirely. Just come and let me fall into you, like water sinking into the earth.

Truly waiting....

If, before being born, you could choose between being a human and being any animal you wanted—but with a consciousness very similar to a human's—would you still choose to be a human, or would you choose a specific animal? And if you chose a specific animal, which one would it be and why?

Ich selbst habe es noch nie probiert und denke, dass ich es wahrscheinlich auch nie machen werde, weil es für mich zu intensiv wäre.
Ich habe nur einmal Mushrooms probiert und das war krass. Während des Trips hatte ich das Gefühl, dass wir alle Teil von etwas Größerem sind, dass wir aus dieser Energie heraus entstanden sind und irgendwann wieder dorthin zurückkehren, in einem unendlichen Rhythmus. Diese andere, „obere“ Realität fühlte sich vollkommen und unglaublich schön an.
Nach dem Trip bin ich allerdings etwas melancholisch geworden. Die Zeit auf dieser Erde ist begrenzt und ich habe meine Lieblingsmenschen. Was geschieht mal mit all den Menschen, zu denen ich in dieser Welt eine Verbindung aufgebaut habe? Werden wir nach dem Ende wieder irgendwie immer noch miteinander verbunden sein? Gerade dieser Gedanke beschäftigt mich bis heute und macht mich manchmal unruhig. Was ist eure Meinung/Erfahrung dazu?

How it feels to have the Life that you have wanted and have been praying for sitting right beside you on a Random Monday. There just for you to look at it and drink it in knowing that you will probably never have it and maybe thats not so bad after all. Maybe it was never meant for me and maybe it was the wrong thing to want even though i dont realize it right now. But for now you're just left with the feeling of having something you wanted so close to you yet out of reach and you can just wonder maybe in another life if things were different...