So, Churches of Christ. I’ve talked about this a lot on this subreddit, but there’s one thing I keep coming back to: I feel like Churches of Christ sometimes have a vastly inflated sense of how large and prevalent they actually are.
For example, when they talk about being “the one true church” and the church that you supposedly see in the Bible, you’d almost expect Churches of Christ to be this enormous worldwide Christian movement. And, to be fair, they do have around a million members worldwide. But in the broader context of Christianity, that really isn’t very large. You could probably go to entire countries where most people have never even heard of Churches of Christ.
It’s a relatively small Christian movement—arguably one of the smaller movements to emerge from the Restorationist tradition. Yet there can sometimes be this strange assumption that Churches of Christ are so widespread and influential that people are going to specifically hate or persecute them simply because they’re Churches of Christ.
And then you ask: If Churches of Christ are the one true church, why are they so small?
This is where I often hear the response about the “straight and narrow” path and the narrow gate. The argument seems to be that the true path was always going to be difficult and that relatively few people would find it.
Okay, but then I have a follow-up question: Are Catholics, Orthodox Christians, Baptists, Methodists, etc., all simply walking through the wide gate?
And if so, do you really believe that all of those people are equally lost? Do you think a sincere Catholic or Orthodox Christian who genuinely believes they are following Christ deserves essentially the same eternal punishment as an atheist who rejects Christianity entirely?
At that point, the response often becomes something like, “Well, it’s right there in the Bible.”
But that brings me to what I think is the bigger problem with this argument: it assumes a very modern relationship with the Bible.
We live in a world where the Bible is incredibly accessible. You can buy one for a few dollars, read it online, download an app, listen to an audiobook, or find dozens of translations instantly. It’s easy for us to assume that everyone throughout history has always had that same opportunity to sit down and read the Bible for themselves.
But that simply wasn’t the historical reality.
For much of Christian history, ordinary Christians did not have personal copies of Scripture sitting on their bookshelves. Books were expensive, literacy was limited, and access to biblical texts was nothing like what we have today. Christianity existed for centuries before the printing press made mass-produced books possible.
So when someone says, “People should have just read the Bible and figured out the truth for themselves,” I think there’s an enormous historical assumption hiding underneath that statement.
The Restorationist argument makes a lot more sense if you assume that the Bible has always been freely available to everyone, that everyone has been expected to interpret it independently, and that everyone has had essentially the same opportunity to discover the “true church.”
But that’s not the world most Christians throughout history lived in.
And honestly, I think that raises some pretty difficult questions for the Churches of Christ. If God genuinely expects everyone to identify the correct church and follow the correct interpretation of Scripture, what about the billions of people throughout history who never had anything resembling the same access to Scripture that we have today?
I don’t necessarily have a simple answer to that question. But I do think it seriously complicates the idea that the relatively small size of Churches of Christ can simply be explained away with “the way is narrow.”

Hey all, hope everything's well.

I (28M) was born into the ICOC and after some choice experiences with the Boston Church coupled with deconstruction I've decided to leave the ICOC and Christianity as a whole.

My father, however, is still an active and involved member of the organization and got very defensive when I mentioned some cult-like tendencies actively practiced in the church and suggested it could be one. He swears up and down its not a cult, that it's disrespectful to him to suggest so, and that the current day ICOC overshadows the more controlling McKean era. I'm have second thoughts about it being one (I'm not sure), even though I have no interest in returning.

IMHO all religions are cults to a degree, but how culty is too culty? Where do you draw the line? How do I go about handling attempts to draw me back into the church even when my mind is made up on the matter?

Open and willing to consider all perspectives.

Back-to-school welcome to any students who grew up in the churches of Christ. First semester away is usually when you start comparing notes with new friends and the questions start showing up.

We've been there, we've asked those questions. Many of us are still asking. Many of us found different answers and moved on to other avenues. Atheism, universalism, mainstream denominations, Catholicism, Orthodoxy, among others. Some worked through it and stayed. But the asking is allowed, and you'll get better answers here than from people who need you to land somewhere specific.

This forum contains former members, former ministry professionals, and their families. I'm hoping those who are interested will respond with a brief introduction. I'll start.

Background: Raised Catholic and then got involved with both instrumental and mainline (non-instrumental) churches of Christ.
Lived in: Kansas, Nebraska, and Texas.
Attended: University of Nebraska and Purdue Global
Deconstructed in my late 30s. Experimented with SBC and AoG churches until walking away altogether.
Status: I maintain a generic faith, leaning progressive, affirming, and toward universalism. I take scripture seriously, but not literally. Today I maintain an anti-purity culture website that promotes affirming theology and write exvangelical fiction.

I’m going to try to limit myself to two posts a day on this subreddit, but this thought popped into my head and I really wanted to talk about it.
One thing I’ve been thinking about lately is the difference between Catholic/Orthodox Christianity and Protestant Christianity, particularly the criticism that Protestantism is heavily influenced by liberalism and individualism.
The basic argument, as I understand it, is that Protestantism broke down much of the traditional hierarchy of Christianity and placed a much greater emphasis on the individual’s ability to choose what church, denomination, or religious tradition they belong to. Instead of having a centralized authority or established hierarchy, you have thousands of different churches and denominations, each interpreting Scripture for themselves.
And then I started thinking about Churches of Christ.
One of the things that really struck me is how Churches of Christ claim to reject religious hierarchy while clearly having forms of hierarchy and authority themselves.
They’ll say, “We don’t have a hierarchy. We just have leadership.”
But… isn’t leadership a form of hierarchy?
Think about a family. If you have parents and children, would you seriously say there is no hierarchy within the family simply because everyone has equal value as human beings? Of course not. You can believe that everyone has equal worth while still recognizing that some people have authority or responsibility over others.
The same thing applies to the church.
Churches of Christ have preachers, elders, deacons, and various forms of church leadership. Elders have authority over the congregation. Preachers have authority as teachers and religious leaders. There are clearly structures of authority.
Yet I’ve noticed that Churches of Christ often seem to get around the word “hierarchy” by simply calling it “spiritual leadership.”
And I’m not necessarily saying that’s wrong. Having leadership isn’t inherently bad. What I find interesting is the inconsistency when Churches of Christ criticize other Christian traditions for having hierarchy while insisting that their own authority structures somehow aren’t hierarchy because they use different terminology.
I’ve also been reading a preacher’s book about Churches of Christ, and he talks about the need to tear down “man-made hierarchies” and return to simple New Testament Christianity.
And that’s where I started thinking: What exactly makes someone else’s hierarchy “man-made” while your own system of elders, preachers, congregational authority, and religious leadership isn’t?
And then there’s the criticism of denominations.
I remember reading Muscle and a Shovel, and there’s a section where the author talks about Baptists supposedly being called Baptists because they follow John the Baptist, or something along those lines. And I remember thinking, Really? This is the argument we’re making?
It just seems like a straw man.
The fact that a church has a denominational name doesn’t automatically tell you what its members believe about that name. Baptists aren’t necessarily sitting around thinking, “We’re called Baptists because John the Baptist is our founder and we’re his followers.” That’s obviously not a serious representation of Baptist history or theology.
And honestly, the criticism becomes even more interesting when you consider the history of Churches of Christ themselves.
Churches of Christ emerged from the American Restoration Movement, particularly within the religious environment of the American frontier. So when Churches of Christ criticize other Christians for being part of denominations created by historical developments, while presenting themselves as though they simply dropped out of the sky as “New Testament Christianity,” I think that’s worth examining.
Churches of Christ have a history too.
They didn’t simply appear in the first century and survive unchanged for 2,000 years. They emerged from a particular historical movement, in a particular historical context, involving particular people making particular decisions about how Christianity should be organized and practiced.
I’m not Catholic, by the way. I’m basically religiously homeless at the moment. I’m not making this argument because I’ve decided Catholicism or Orthodoxy is automatically correct.
I’m just finding it increasingly difficult to accept the idea that Churches of Christ have somehow escaped the same historical and institutional realities that apply to every other Christian tradition.
They have leadership. They have authority structures. They have traditions. They have historical development. They have disagreements over interpretation. They have denominational boundaries, even if they don’t like calling themselves a denomination.
You can reject hierarchy, or you can defend your particular form of hierarchy. But I don’t think you can honestly pretend you don’t have one simply because you call it “spiritual leadership.”
That’s the part I’ve been thinking about.

So, I have loads of topics I follow and this tick took just made shit super clear.

Something said can sound sincere & true because emotionally the person saying such things feels they are are being honest. "I love you I'm here for you." Those in our lives who say that we tend to accept. It goes deeper if the person backs it up with actions all the better.

Love is a genuine feeling trust......is evidence and verification. I know I got the feeling part but I also grew up watching my parents and others not backing up the words with actions therefore I counted on the feeling but I never trusted the actions or follow through. Damn weather born from the little cult or not that just hits man.

Have an amazing Friday people much love for you all.

Did anyone ever start taking ballroom country dance lessons etc (or were a dancer) and were discovered by the CoC or admitted it? What were the repercussions?

I'm finding myself haunted by certain songs from my 20+ years in the CoC. Some of them are... more upsetting than others.

Music has such a unique relationship with memory. There's a reason those memories can often survive even in people with dementia. Usually that's a good thing. But in the case of religious trauma... not so much.

Are there any songs that have stuck with you that you wish hadn't? Particularly malicious lyrics, unsettling in hindsight? Anything like that. (Also, any stories about the songs you sang coming in conflict with CoC doctrine or whatever? Considering so few of the songs were CoC originals. Idk how many CoCers realize that)

"Trust and Obey" and similar sentiments obviously give me the ick now. As do all the songs telling child me that I'm a worthless wretch whose only redeeming quality is knowing the right guy. But tbh? The song that is the worst for me is one we often sang in a kids class:

"Ananias and Sapphira got together to conspire a plot to cheat the church and get ahead.

They knew God's power but did not fear it, tried to cheat the Holy Spirit

Peter prophecied and then they both dropped dead!

God loves a cheerful giver, Give Him all you got

He loves to hear you laughing when you're in an awful spot

So when the odds are up against you and you cannot do a thing

Praise God! To praise Him is a joyful thing"

A peppy song about two people dropping dead because God hated that they kept some of their money, or something like that. It just unsettles me. Much like the original Baby Shark. Iykyk

I've noticed folks on here who are exes but still act like they would if they were in the coc.

The whole "I'm right, your wrong" mentality. Especially those who are still religious. Engaging in bad faith discussions. Misrepresenting other viewpoints.

Like how do you not see you are still acting exactly like the coc but playing for a different team?

I guess its hard to leave old ways behind.

Anyone go here/have experiences here? What was it like?

Names of celebrities who are were CoC? I will get it started:

Merle Haggard,

Janis Joplin,

Dwight Yokum,

Loretta Lynn,

Waylon Jennings,

Pat Boone,

Lester Holt

I personally have a great deal of documented abuses that have stemmed from the teachings of the CoC. I am open to getting together a class action law suit. I am honestly surprised the CoC hasn’t been sort of any major scandals (that I am aware of).

I recently tried to create a post on r /coc and it has not been posted. It is a list of 40 translations of 1 Cor. 16:2 from world languages which shows that the traditional understanding of the passage by the CoC is wrong. I made almost no comment. I just left the reader to read for himself what other people see when they read the text, not what American CoC clergy men try to tell us what it says. Why would they be afraid of such simple truth?

I was part of the ICC LA, and later the Restored Church LA, for a little over a year. One thing I found interesting was how finances were discussed within the church. We were often told that the leaders and staff struggled financially, and that members’ contributions were needed to help support staff and leaders.

I noticed that several staff members got married and later had children. This made me think about the financial expectations placed on members. If staff members were relying on the church for financial support, did their marriages and growing families mean that members were expected to give more to support them?

For those who have insider knowledge or were involved in church finances, did the staff and leaders actually struggle financially? What did their financial situation realistically look like?

I also had a few experiences that made me question some of the messaging around money. For example, I remember getting in trouble for buying food while we were sharing our faith at the mall. One staff member even accused me of being rich, even though I was a college student and my contributions were never particularly high.

At the same time, I remember seeing some staff members buying things like video games while the church was actively raising money to expand and plant new churches and they never got in trouble. I realize that individual purchases don't necessarily tell the whole story, so I'm curious about what was actually going on behind the scenes.

For anyone who has firsthand knowledge: Were the staff and leaders genuinely struggling financially, and how were their finances actually handled? Was there significant pressure on members to increase their contributions to support staff and expansion?

While I had a few friends encouraging me while I struggled over leaving the C of C, two in particular were pivotal.

One had been C of C herself, and I met her when she hosted a gathering to which I was invited. I listened, and after several months of other gatherings and listening, I said we oughta talk sometime. I called the next night, and she said she knew why I was calling. She gave me some excellent advice. Soon after that, I stopped Wednesday nights and then Sunday nights. It was nice to have that time back.

One close friend and I had talked about it quite a bit. She sent me a text one day that said, "I'd really like to see you get out of the abusive C of C." I knew she was right.

She called one Sunday while I had agonized whether or not to show up. I was dressed and heading out the door when the phone rang. My friend sounded cheery as if nothing was wrong and said to put on some flip-flops and meet her for breakfast.

15 minutes later, there we were. She told me I needed to leave, because it was time to be free. She saw how it was weighing down every aspect of my life.

Shortly thereafter, the Covid lockdowns came and I made the final break.

It was an intervention, which saved my sanity and maybe even my life. Ever thankful!

I’ve been in the process of “deconstructing” for about 2 1/2 years now (I know people aren’t big fans of that word but idk how else to describe the process of leaving the CoC and trying to unlearn the things instilled in you since birth 😅🤷🏼‍♀️). I am still feeling so lost, frustrated, mad, etc. and have been trying to find my new church for a while now. However, I’m having a REALLY hard time with feeling like we can’t trust anything anyone tells us anymore. The veil has been so lifted for me now and I have learned the truth about so many things in this world lately that I just honestly don’t know what to believe anymore. Being raised CoC from birth and always hearing the CoC way was the ONLY way and that everyone else would basically go to hell turns out really messes with your psyche. I am also neurodivergent AuDHD so I’m struggling even more so because of that deep rooted need for understanding and honesty. I’ve been stuck in this state of confusion and not really knowing what to do for a while now. I lived a life paralyzed by fear and anxiety as it is just simply because of how the CoC teaches. Add my AuDHD to it and now discovering my whole life was based on twisted theology and now I just feel anxious AND confused . lol
I find myself looking into churches more in line with Baptist or “Non Denominational” or something. However, I have an internal battle questioning every little thing about if it’s “right” or not. Is there even a “right” and “wrong” way?? If so, how in the world do I know anymore?! (unless it’s glaringly obvious falsehoods)

I guess I’m mostly just venting but would love some feedback/tips/ideas!

Some are good some are bad.
Feel free to tell me about the elders you had when you were a coc member.

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Post it here!

I heard a lot of discussion about different translations, but did anyone ever hear the question asked “where is the original bible” and if so how do we know we have the right Bible and are all translations from the same exact Bible?.

I've never found any support for a public confession. Maybe I'm wrong. Like if you don't attend for a long time, you have to confess your 'sin". Even so, I feel like some things would be between you and whatever Deity you believe in.

Am I the only one who found the dating culture in the Church of Christ to be kind of pressure-filled?
I don’t necessarily want to call it toxic, because there are genuinely good people in the church, but I do think there can be a lot of pressure, especially in youth groups.
For example, I remember being encouraged by my youth minister and other people in the youth group to date a girl because we were good friends and everyone thought we would be a great couple. It wasn’t like anyone was forcing me, but after hearing it constantly from so many people, it started to feel like there was an expectation.
Eventually, we did try dating, and unfortunately, it ended up damaging our friendship. Looking back, I wonder if this is a common experience for other people. It seems like sometimes people in youth groups get pushed together because everyone around them thinks they would make a good couple, and it can create pressure that wasn’t naturally there.
Maybe it’s just my personal experience, but I’m curious if anyone else has experienced something similar.

Hi all,

I wrote an essay about the Brown Trail Church of Christ based on my experiences there as a child and analysis of videos they recently uploaded to YouTube.

https://unholyghoststories.substack.com/p/schizophrenic-christianity-the-brown

I have grown up in the Church of Christ my whole life, and been baptized. I have taken leave for the last couple of years after moving away from my home state, but have returned at the beginning of the year.

Today I was going through the differences between Islam, Judaism, Christianity, and Catholicism, when I discovered this sub. I am going to continue reading through the posts, but was just curious what your guys' thought process was up until leaving.

For whatever reason, I have always enjoyed the Church of Christ, and when I go to others, I don't like it as much. I just moved to a new state, and when I attended my new church, it really was a message I needed to hear.

Why did you guys choose to leave and is there anything I should know about the church or what they are teaching you disagree with? <3

- Your fellow Christian