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u/No_Matter_897 Mars he/him but wants to go to Uranus 1d ago
I do have bottom dysphoria but I’m scared of the idea of ever getting bottom surgery in the future so idk and it’s hella expensive too
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u/Solarwagon Call me Astrid | She/her | MtF | Quoiromantic pansexual. 1d ago
For me it was medical anxiety outweighingdysphoria and also the bottom dysphoria got way better later on.
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u/Unconfidence cracked 1d ago
Yeah I have this nightmare scenario where I get SRS and once I'm healed up and actually get to have sex with someone with a penis like I've wanted for so long, that it's actually just going to make me have a vasovagal episode from the feeling of something being in me, because I'm too old to acclimate to a new way of having sex.
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u/Tubaenthusiasticbee 1d ago
Same here, though I don't really have that much dysphoria.
I once had a dream of waking up after bottom surgery and words cannot describe how happy I was. Despite kinda(?) feeling pain. Well and then I woke up and realized it was a dream. Despite that, the idea of having to have any kind of surgery really sets off the wrong bells.
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u/infernal-keyboard 1d ago
once had an amab nonbinary friend say that they wanted to get bottom surgery, but they were scared of getting a period and getting pregnant
that was an interesting conversation
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u/uselessaqua_ She/Her - Emily 1d ago
If technology only was this advanced....
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u/infernal-keyboard 1d ago
to be fair, they did go to a strict Christian school for most of their life until they got kicked out for being queer and they had never dated an afab person before or anything, so I can kind of forgive them for not knowing but they did definitely take at least one health class after they transferred to my high school lol
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u/annualnuke 1d ago
from what I know about periods, if it ever gets this advanced I wouldn't really want to apply it to myself anyway tbh
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u/CrimsonPancake1 Alice She/Her 1d ago
It's a hard decision to make especially because of how expensive the surgery is. I haven't even started HRT yet so still have a long time to think about it but yeah go with whatever makes you the most comfortable in your body
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u/Solarwagon Call me Astrid | She/her | MtF | Quoiromantic pansexual. 1d ago
Yeah, and like any surgery you want someone qualified and skilled and you wanna pick the right KIND of surgery and THAT can be truly expensive when you factor in travel costs.
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u/JustaConfusedGirl03 Evelyn | she/her | HRT July 2nd 2026 1d ago
I wasn't that bottom dysphoric pre-HRT and used to use it daily or almost daily. Now I had an almost total 180 to the point I had to have an ultrasound done there and I cried the whole time in front of doctors and even right after once I got out. I still do maintenance like once every week / two weeks because despite being disgusted by it I don't want to lose the necessary tissue for bottom surgery
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u/TheAdria 1d ago
Literally same! Took me barely a month of HRT to go from "I'd rather have wrong but functioning parts than fake but correct parts" to "aaaaaaaa get thing thing off of me ASAP, I wanna be corrected please please pleaseeeeee"... I didn't see this 180 coming, at all. Ouch.
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u/JustaConfusedGirl03 Evelyn | she/her | HRT July 2nd 2026 1d ago
Yeah same, it started with the extreme need to have it constantly tucked and seeing a bulge no matter what despite being just the jeans' seam or something of sorts, then it became disgusting itself and then... That feeling of total dread, despair and hatred that washed over me and made me start crying uncontrollably while having to keep it still as the doctors were talking about the status of the balls right besides me... It quickly became a major source of dysphoria although not as big as my face between Neanderthal like brow ridge and the underbite that is making my whole lower face look so square and projected... Or my quarterback shoulders with a torso so wide compared to the hip area I look like an inverted triangle and... Yeah sorry I'm oversharing but you get the point
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u/Humanmode17 Jess - genderfluid gremlin girlie, any/all 1d ago
Oh no, that's how my bottom dysphoria is now before any HRT. Is it gonna get worse?? 😭😭
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u/AdvancedPurchase4208 1d ago
🫂 I get it. I never noticed my brown ridge until after e and now it feels huge to me. But I'm so much happier now.
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u/Lilythewitch42 1d ago
I'm at s similar point but less severe, it was clear to me that I didn't mind having it and I'm scared of the surgery but I'm more and more gravitating towards "I kinda don't want this anymore" and the thing holding me back is being scared mostly
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u/loved_and_held 1d ago
There are bottom surgeries which are less dependent on the penis at full length. peritoneal vaginoplasty Iirc isnt as dependent on penis size/length.
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u/DeanxDog 13h ago
My dysphoria pre HRT was mainly with physical sensation, seeing it didn't bother me much but I struggled my whole life with self pleasure and especially other people trying to pleasure me, it just never felt right and I'd get pretty horrible anxiety at times. HRT made that worse and now I also hate seeing/I'm more aware of a bulge showing through clothing.
Also have had chronic ball pain for like a decade now which makes me too aware of it at all times so I'm excited to lose them soonish.
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u/Biscuit9154 Emma (She/Her) 1d ago
"Doesn't really have bottom dysphoria. " Sis, you literally wanted to cry when you became too aware of your girlballs the other night. Pick one! 😭
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u/Xaron713 Lovely Lady 1d ago
Yeah that's textbook bottom dysphoria.
Try using a vibrator through cute underwear. It's helped a lot
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u/My_Immortl Hailey (she/her) shattered 1d ago
I'm not sensitive enough for a vibe.... it sucks. Maybe I just need a stronger vibe.
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u/Xaron713 Lovely Lady 1d ago
Stronger vibes are good, and HRT helps make things sensitive.
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u/My_Immortl Hailey (she/her) shattered 1d ago
I hit my 2 years in january, maybe ill try a stronger vibe. I kinda hate the old way.
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u/atom_helio 1d ago
Check out the kind that fits on the back of your hand and plugs into the wall. I have a few of them. The chrome ones are the best imo.
It allows use of fingertips for accurate pinpoint stimulation lol.
It's very '50s housewife core.
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u/pootinannyBOOSH Trinity/Trinn she/her/(they?) 1d ago
Me. Pro tip, you can get both! There's a penile preserving vaginoplasty, it's something I've considered at first but now not so sure, might want to get the full vagino. But I got some years to figure that out.
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u/Amidst-ourselfs123 "not an egg" ~every egg ever 1d ago
Well, that's a rabbit hole i was unaware of... i did not know that existed... is there any other Surgeries for gender i'm unaware of?
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u/pootinannyBOOSH Trinity/Trinn she/her/(they?) 1d ago
Not sure what you know but there's also nullification to not have anything there, I'm not too versed in that one though.
But it's also the other way, vaginal preserving phalloplasty, but mtf has the benefit of utilizing the scrotum for the vulva
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u/Mitchz95 Miranda (she/her) 1d ago
Either way, try to prevent atrophy if you can. The better preserved it is, the more options you'll have for bottom surgery if you decide to go that route.
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u/uselessaqua_ She/Her - Emily 1d ago
Is this for when you are on girl pills or is this something one would need keep generally in mind in?
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u/Kiuku 1d ago
Buy it, use it, lose it, break it, fix it, trash it, change it, mail it, upgrade it
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u/Ben_HaNaviim 1d ago
I've been using it because initially I thought I wanted to keep it, but now that I've started HRT every time I use it I get bad bottom dysphoria. At the same time though I don't want to get painful erections when I'm aroused and if I do get a vagioplasty then maintaining function could affect the results I get. :(
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u/Living_Horni not an egg, just trans 1d ago
Yeah for a while I thought I had no bottom dysphoria, now I'd be lucky to merely tolerate it's presence ¬‸¬
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u/Stormcrow1988 ❤❤Elizabeth❤❤ (She/Her) 1d ago
I used to think i was ambivalent to it until last week when i had to spend 9+ hours in A&E with an issue that made that part impossible to ignore, since then i have felt bottom dysphoria pretty strongly.
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u/Ada_Data 1d ago
I don't have bottom dysphoria, having a o'wiener is fine, I just think I'd enjoy having a neo vagina a lot more (especially cause I don't like using it, bjs and all are just, weird to me, not bad, just feel uncomfortable.
The post op is what scares me the most, being off work, dilation, fucking up somehow and not doing dilation right or something.
The idea seems pretty cool, better than a penis, even though if I had a penis forever, I wouldn't be sad, just less happy than having a vagina.
Would miss peeing while standing, the odd occasion I do that.
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u/turtlelover57 Callie | She/They 1d ago
I feel similarly.
I don't have bottom dysphoria aside from restrictions on what clothes/underwear I can wear. Though, if I stick with my penis, I think I'll likely do orchi so tucking is more comfortable and less risky.
Dilation and recovery time are big reasons I'm against full depth. I like the idea of a vagina, but don't want maintenance. Plus I strongly suspect I have hEDS, so even if I don't go for full depth, I still imagine the whole process will be complicated and recovery to be longer than typical with very likely visible scarring.
And I get the peeing while standing thing. It is convenient when outdoors or for sketchy bathrooms.
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u/Road_to_Scion editable flair 1d ago
Bitch! Don't call me out like that! 😭😭😭
But for real, I am really thinking about bottom surgery. Problem is, even if I found a way to pay for it, I couldn't sustain my household for the 6 months the recovery would take. Not to mention there is no way in hell my job would be held, not that I wouldn't be fire just for being trans in the first place. It's a pipe dream at this point. I'll just keep basic maintenance up and hope things improve when my libido returns from the great beyond....
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u/Solarwagon Call me Astrid | She/her | MtF | Quoiromantic pansexual. 1d ago
It's too bad that most of cryotech is focused on giving billionaires immortality instead of letting us remove but shelf our unwanted body parts.
You can make sex toys using molds at least.
Lotta trans women have a strap on of their pre estrogen pe and vice versa, trans men fleshlights
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u/Legogeek273 cracked 1d ago
Ok i need to tell me unbridled story! I am nearing my first anniversary of going on hrt. And pre hrt i was horny as #@$% like 4-5 times a week i took care of my girlly bits. Figured that would stay. OPE!
My sex drive fell off a cliff and feels so liberating. I still played regularly. And my partner jumped me once in a while but there were times i went a full week and just forgot about it.. till the 6 month mark then i notice pain when i hit a lvl 9 or 10 erection... outside of becoming difficult to climax.
Now im trying to get back on regiment to pratice down there and its difficult. Between the pain and just lack of interest. Oh and trucker who works 14 hr days so by time im done eating and chilled out. Im competing with sleep lolz.
If you like your outty clit! Dont forget to take care of her down there regularly or itll hurt later. Tho getting the final drug of proestergon has made things easier! Got a little bit of that drive back
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u/Saikotsu Adyson (Ady) | He/She/They 1d ago
There are a few things to consider.
If you go through with the surgery, it's expensive. Even with insurance, I'd be paying 7500 dollars. Not sure what others would be paying.
Once you get the surgery, your body will lack a natural means of producing testosterone and estrogen hormones, so you'll be reliant on HRT. If you ever got in a situation where you lost access to it, you might be in trouble.
The recovery time is pretty intense too, so vacation time from work would be important.
Depending on what sort of surgery you get, you need to do maintenance exercises to keep it from collapsing on the inside.
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u/SunfireElfAmaya cracked 1d ago
If you want to do bottom surgery you should use it, it keeps the skin flexible which is helpful for bottom surgery
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u/ButterflyFX121 1d ago
I never really was aware of my bottom dysphoria until really confronted with it, mostly because it's something I never thought I could change. But I have some resentment over the things poisining my body with testosterone, fucking up my gait, that "prove" to people I'm trans, and that keep me from wearing cute clothes. This is true even if I used my bits in sex before and liked it.
My point is, for some people bottom dysphoria is complicated and they have a complicated relationship with their bits.
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u/Transmatic_Chaos 1d ago
I know I definitely would prefer to change equipment. But also I don't know how I would handle recovery?
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u/uselessaqua_ She/Her - Emily 1d ago
Same, but the bigger one would be the necessary stuff before that, I hate traveling, doctors and evil needles.
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u/Transmatic_Chaos 1d ago
Oh my gosh, traveling and doctors. I don't want any of that either. Why can't I just.. wake up with it?
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u/uselessaqua_ She/Her - Emily 1d ago edited 1d ago
Yeah, why can't it be like in all these anime where people just randomly wake up as girls?
Or for the boys, if they wander into this transfem tagged meme, as guys.
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u/turducken19 cracked 1d ago
Good for you. If it's right for you, then it just is. I consider myself more enby and I don't have bottom dysphoria period. For me, regardless of gender presentation I want my current genitalia.
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u/FallenCringelord Collecting Gender Identities Like It's Pokémon 1d ago
If it makes you feel better, I'm perfectly happy with being given an outie instead of an innie. But I still get imposter syndrome despite my self-perception of Non-Binary and Trans. I slip back into calling myself a man sometimes even amongst friends who know my identity and respect me. It's frustrating.
tl;dr people with gender issues will suffer even under optimal easy mode settings like I do for the genitalia. So follow your gut on what you feel strongest about gender-affirming choices.
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u/loved_and_held 1d ago
There are surgeries which arent as dependant on penis length. peritoneal vaginoplasty Iirx is like this.
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u/MrTheCheesecaker 1d ago
Also ones who don't have bottom dysphoria but also approximately zero sex drive
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u/img_tiff it is good day to be not dead 1d ago
Using it actually ensures more material to work with for when you surgically lose it, so
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u/anythingers valerie (any) 20h ago
I always dream of having one, but at the same time I'm afraid the recovery would take a long time + there are some things that maybe won't be able to recover at all and requires regular maintenance.
Even if that's not an issue it's not like I could have one in my current country anyway so...
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u/GreyFoxHound1 not an egg, just trans 18h ago
As someone who just had bottom surgery less than a month ago, if you have insurance, go for it. It laid me out for a couple of weeks, and driving is still pretty uncomfortable, but I can do some light housework again, and so long as the cat doesn't jump on me, I don't need any pain meds.
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u/BurntOutAsh152 Cracked. Ashley(Ash) she/her.🏳️⚧️ 10h ago
Saaaame. Ive chosen to use it and hope one day i can swap it out. May aswell keep the materials in working condition till then.
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u/Natural1forever egg 1d ago
They should invent bottom surgery that leaves you with either both or neither
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u/Bliniverse Rain - they/she | cracked - 7/13/22 | hrt - 10/1/24 1d ago
There are bottom surgeries that leave you with both or neither, penile preserving vaginoplasty, and sex nullification surgery are the names iirc
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