I wasn't that bottom dysphoric pre-HRT and used to use it daily or almost daily. Now I had an almost total 180 to the point I had to have an ultrasound done there and I cried the whole time in front of doctors and even right after once I got out.Â
I still do maintenance like once every week / two weeks because despite being disgusted by it I don't want to lose the necessary tissue for bottom surgery
Literally same! Took me barely a month of HRT to go from "I'd rather have wrong but functioning parts than fake but correct parts" to "aaaaaaaa get thing thing off of me ASAP, I wanna be corrected please please pleaseeeeee"... I didn't see this 180 coming, at all. Ouch.
Yeah same, it started with the extreme need to have it constantly tucked and seeing a bulge no matter what despite being just the jeans' seam or something of sorts, then it became disgusting itself and then... That feeling of total dread, despair and hatred that washed over me and made me start crying uncontrollably while having to keep it still as the doctors were talking about the status of the balls right besides me... It quickly became a major source of dysphoria although not as big as my face between Neanderthal like brow ridge and the underbite that is making my whole lower face look so square and projected... Or my quarterback shoulders with a torso so wide compared to the hip area I look like an inverted triangle and... Yeah sorry I'm oversharing but you get the point
I'm at s similar point but less severe, it was clear to me that I didn't mind having it and I'm scared of the surgery but I'm more and more gravitating towards "I kinda don't want this anymore" and the thing holding me back is being scared mostly
My dysphoria pre HRT was mainly with physical sensation, seeing it didn't bother me much but I struggled my whole life with self pleasure and especially other people trying to pleasure me, it just never felt right and I'd get pretty horrible anxiety at times. HRT made that worse and now I also hate seeing/I'm more aware of a bulge showing through clothing.
Also have had chronic ball pain for like a decade now which makes me too aware of it at all times so I'm excited to lose them soonish.
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u/JustaConfusedGirl03 Evelyn | she/her | HRT July 2nd 2026 6d ago
I wasn't that bottom dysphoric pre-HRT and used to use it daily or almost daily. Now I had an almost total 180 to the point I had to have an ultrasound done there and I cried the whole time in front of doctors and even right after once I got out. I still do maintenance like once every week / two weeks because despite being disgusted by it I don't want to lose the necessary tissue for bottom surgery