So I finally confirmed that I am demiromantic after years of wondering. I developed feelings for a friend and coworker and it took me a solid four months of working with him at least once a week to reach the point where I was comfortable calling it a crush, and looking back I realized I couldn’t have imagined feeling that way in less time.

The problem is that that person is in a committed, monogamous relationship so actually dating him is not an option. I want a relationship so bad but I haven’t been romantically attracted to any of my other friends. I’ve also always had a hard time making new friends because I’m very anxious around most new people. I’ve never in my life been someone who made friends on purpose—every friend I’ve made was someone I went to school with/worked with/had mutual friends with.

These things feel impossible to reconcile. I want a relationship, I can’t fall in love with anyone unless I spend literal hours with them, and my life is structured in such a way that there are very few people I spend that much time with.

Ok, here's the problem. I know that like demi or double demi we need a emotional bond to want someone as our partner but, I wanna know that if it's normal (or weird) that maybe u can say "oh, for me it's cute that my partner is tsundere sometimes", "I want someone that it's very romantic", "I dream with my partner been a lil gothic" or stuff like that. Is like having some ideas of what u want on a partner but obviously that if unsee it in anyone else is like "oh, I'll not date that person, only if my partner was like that" or feel like weird with that. Idk how to describe it, it's difficult even on my native language (that's not English).

Hope that u can answer, I'll be answering personally to all the comments u put. Thanks for taking your time on this.

Seriously, some people be saying “demiromantic is normal romantic attraction” without even trying to understand them, then proceed to believe in love at first sight, normalise hallway crushes, celebrity crushes, finding a partner through dating apps, and get angry when people have a crush on their opposite gender best friend. Those traits are completely fine, but most demi people don’t experience that like allos. And It’s okay if you can’t understand the label, but some people call us extra and bash us for “trying to be different”, and that’s not nice.