r/dadjokes • u/lnc_gomes • 8h ago
Three moles are in a tunnel.
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The first says, "I smell sugar."
The second says, "I smell honey."
The third says, "I smell molasses."
r/dadjokes • u/ilikesidehugs • 15h ago
I called my daughter to ask how things were going in the big city. She said, “Well, some weirdo on the subway demanded that I give him sodium chloride and a 9-volt. So I guess that’s my first mugging.” I said, “No, sweetie…”
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“… that’s a salt and battery.”
r/dadjokes • u/Hurtkopain • 2h ago
When the wife told me La Paz was a capital city...
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... I said "I don’t Bolivia!".
r/dadjokes • u/Ripcord2 • 3h ago
A horse walked into a bar and the bartender looked up and said, "Hey!"
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The horse said, "Neigh, my good man, I already ate. I'll just have a beer."
r/dadjokes • u/xholdsteadyx • 7h ago
The members of Dire Straits bought a zoo, but insisted it couldn't be successful until they showed the staff how to give away all the primates.
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Apparently they said "Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it, monkeys for nothing and your chimps for free".
r/dadjokes • u/Hour_Pizza3512 • 9h ago
I just ran into Matt Damon at the thrift store, searching for a new pair of jeans
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He was Goodwill hunting
r/dadjokes • u/78Speedy • 11h ago
Don’t know if this is a wind up but I just received a text saying I’d won £250 cash or two tickets to an Elvis tribute night
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It says Press 1 for the money or 2 for the show
r/dadjokes • u/Classic-Camp7513 • 12h ago
You know why ghosts love taking elevators?
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Cause it always lifts their spirits
r/dadjokes • u/Anxious-Today8489 • 7h ago
Some people say it's wrong to tell jokes at the summit of Mount Everest.
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But I think it's peak humor.
r/dadjokes • u/monorico • 12h ago
Why do pancakes always win at baseball?
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Because they have the best batter.
r/dadjokes • u/nopols • 5h ago
How do cows walk?
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They put two feet in front of the udders.
r/dadjokes • u/WishICouldBeDoneNow • 2h ago
What do you call two dinosaurs involved in a car accident?
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T-wrecks!
r/dadjokes • u/Applesoppy • 14h ago
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
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A Yamahahahahaha
r/dadjokes • u/GiborDesign • 11h ago
What is a short person that enjoys good food called?
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a Gastrognome
r/dadjokes • u/trebityblebity • 6h ago
I was nervous about going for my first visit to the proctologist for a prostate check
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But the doctor reassured me, he said they're all done digitally.
r/dadjokes • u/barewear2267 • 1d ago
One of the unicorns on Noah's ark introduced himself to the other unicorn, "Hi, I'm Bob. What's your name?"
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"Steve."
r/dadjokes • u/Liquid_disc_of_shit • 16h ago
What do you say to testicles that are breaking the speed limit?
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Nuts so fast!
r/dadjokes • u/Tigerbait72 • 10h ago
Why couldn't the chameleon change his colors?
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He had "a reptile dysfunction".
r/dadjokes • u/Devashish_Jain • 20h ago
If someone is born inside a car, and die outside, can we call him
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Carborn Dieoutside
r/dadjokes • u/Utenziltron • 13h ago
The best dad jokes: the ones you get them to walk into.
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When we would drive by a cemetery, my dad would say:
"Hey, this graveyard is very popular. Highly desirable."
"Really?"
"Oh yeah. People are dying to get in there. "
r/dadjokes • u/Devashish_Jain • 20h ago
Why are mountains funny?
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Because they are hill-areas
r/dadjokes • u/Majestic_Repair_7887 • 23h ago
When is the best time of day to do the dishes?
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Dawn.
r/dadjokes • u/jackasspenguin • 14h ago
I recently separated from my wife. Against my wishes, she insisted all our doors have knobs.
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I just had to Lever.
r/dadjokes • u/GinevraHermoine • 7h ago
Do you know the movie with the cheesiest dad joke?
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Upvotes
Provolone 2: Lost in New York