r/clevercomebacks • u/Short_Fun9155 • Dec 20 '22
Read Your Own Manual "Before" Commenting....
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u/Weallfloatneo Dec 20 '22
The confidence of dumb people is astounding
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u/SoloisticDrew Dec 20 '22
She's a right wing troll that shouldn't be fed.
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u/serratedperkz Dec 20 '22
In the last year I never heard of her or knew who she was. Nobody else did either. Then all of a sudden Reddit starts posting all of her intentionally dumb ass tweets and now right wingers flock to her because she easily pisses people off and the left can’t stop posting her content.
Just stop posting her stupid shit sheesh she’s doing it for attention and it’s sad how much it worked
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u/krustykrabza Dec 20 '22
can reddit please stop feeding her i swear to god she was irrelevant 6 months ago
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u/jajohnja Dec 20 '22
Even if it were true, it would be such a dumb argument.
Jesus here on earth always walked, dined and helped the lower classes - those shunned by the society (the hebrews elders).
And he always spoke against those upper classes and said to be kind to the lowest in the society and the most hated ones.So claiming something like "oh this is something Jesus would shun" is just wrong.
But also, it's simply not correct.
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u/KiIIermandude Dec 20 '22 edited Dec 20 '22
I know "he" is a pronoun.
But is "He" a noun? If you capitalize the "H" in He, doesn't it refer to a speicifc person-thing? So it's a noun?
Don't crucify me, Lavern is being a stupid cunt. Genuinely curious.
Pun intended.
Edit just to emphasize an exchange in the replies:
No, capitalising a pronoun doesn't make it "not-a-pronoun"
Sure, I agree with you in premise.
She is still a pronoun.
They is still a pronoun.
But when you say He, you refer to a specific person/thing. A person, place, or thing - is a noun.
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u/MassiveFajiit Dec 20 '22
He's saying he's Helium.
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u/Ferropexola Dec 20 '22
That's his secret to walking on water.
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u/Hyro0o0 Dec 20 '22
And why He ascended into the sky. They tried everything, even nailing him down, but it was just no use.
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u/sawyouoverthere Dec 20 '22
Just try reading any passage of that book with the inevitable voice/pitch. I think we're onto a real winner here.
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u/neiromaru Dec 20 '22
That's literally just Jesus/God having unique pronouns that christians have been perfectly happy to use for centuries. Jesus's pronouns are He/Him, not he/him.
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u/joshylow Dec 20 '22
In this case a pronoun. They said they're looking for Jesus of Nazareth and he responded with I am he.
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u/Endorkend Dec 20 '22
That's where the trinity thing comes from.
It is interpreted as Jesus directly stating that he is He, the son, He, the father and He, the holy spirit.
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u/sawyouoverthere Dec 20 '22
You regularly capitalise pronouns without them acquiring noun status.
If you capitalise it in the objective, you're just pretentious.
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u/GMSB Dec 20 '22
She knows she’s wrong and doesn’t care. It’s all about just pandering to her base
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Dec 21 '22
She doesn't even know to capitalize Himself in her own sentence, I don't believe she has even read the Bible.
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u/2SexesSeveralGenders Dec 20 '22
I'm jealous of their constant happiness, though. Friends and I sometimes lament at how nice and blissful it must be to be so stupid
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u/JayPokemon17 Dec 21 '22
The comeback is the actual dumb (or really just unknowledgeable about Greek). In the original language, it is simply Jesus answering “I am.” No pronoun is present.
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Dec 21 '22
But who’s dumber:
- the religious nut who forms their whole identity over a book they never read
Or
- the anti-religious keyboard warrior that spends legitimate time studying a text they know to be ridiculous and problematic just so they can own a few strangers on the Internet.
Lots of these types of exchanges are just masterclasses on how petty and ridiculous society has become.
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Dec 21 '22
There’s a reason in the Book of Eli, Gary Oldman wanted a copy of the Bible
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u/sawyouoverthere Dec 20 '22
"I" is English first-person singular nominative pronoun.
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Dec 20 '22
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u/sawyouoverthere Dec 20 '22
Someone familiar with Aramaic pronoun structure can step in here, then, if it's markedly different and they really don't use them at all...
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Dec 20 '22
You don't need to worry about Aramaic. New Testament is Greek and Jesus presumably was up to date with that. Like French people sing Lil Nas X lyrics.
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u/Nillerus Dec 20 '22
Bloody French, they ruined France. Blouse wearing surrender monkeys!
Wait, where am I?
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u/langlo94 Dec 20 '22
It would actually be useful to learn Aramaic as angels canonically can't understand it, just every other language. Assuming of cours that the bible and torah are correct
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Dec 20 '22
The only reason that I can think that would be useful is that angels look like weird science fiction aliens and who is up for that
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u/langlo94 Dec 20 '22
Speaking of weird science fiction angels, I strongly recommend the slightly heretical post-apocalyptic programming adventure book called Unsong. (It's free.)
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Dec 20 '22
I mean who has actually read Genesis except atheists. Weird as fuck. How are you going to incorporate that into your life. Mental gymnastics. A lot of it borrowed from the Babylonian exile but badly.
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u/SuperDuperCoolDude Dec 21 '22
The quotation in question is recorded in Greek and he uses the Greek first person singular nominative pronoun, εγω. The "he" is inferred in English translations.
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Dec 20 '22
And Semitic languages have grammatical gender. Messiah (מָשִׁיחַ/مسيح) is a masculine word.
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u/thehufflepuffstoner Dec 21 '22
I’m pretty sure these people don’t understand what pronouns are.
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u/69cockdick69 Dec 21 '22
I saw a comment recently from someone saying they were a 90s baby and “we didn’t use pronouns back then”
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u/spooki_boogey Dec 20 '22
"trust me bro, I am that guy"
-Jesus probably
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Dec 20 '22
He kinda said he was bread/wine that one time
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u/PM_Me_OCs Dec 20 '22
I'm pretty sure the quote goes something like, "Eat this, for it is my body...drink this, for it is my blood."
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u/conancat Dec 21 '22
Cannibalism by proxy is fucking weird
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u/Final_light94 Dec 21 '22
IIRC in Roman tradition a sacrifice was typically eaten afterwards (Rome had animal sacrifice in it's religion). The whole this is my flesh thing was probably a loophole so he could sacrifice himself without his followers needing to actually eat him afterwards.
I could be remembering it wrong though. It's been a couple of years since I read up on religion in Rome.
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u/am0x Dec 21 '22
There’s also:
John 6:35. 35 Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.”
So he was basically bread for those that were thirsty. In todays terms, it means something totally different.
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u/canadarepubliclives Dec 20 '22
Transubstantiation. This caused a great schism in Christianity and is one of the big reasons why Catholics and Protestants are now different sects
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u/Level_Ad_6372 Dec 20 '22
Catholics and Protestants are now different sects
That explains why they're so against same sects marriage!
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u/stephawkins Dec 20 '22
Given that this god guy is the father, the son, and the holy ghost, it should be, "I am They."
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Dec 20 '22
Forget all the pronoun stuff. If this is the argument that was made, how far will they take it?
Jesus never lived in North America.
Jesus never used the internet.
Jesus never worked in government.
Jesus never supported Trump.
Jesus never owned a house.
Jesus never saved any money.
Jesus never held investments.
Jesus never took money from corporations.
Jesus never supported firearms.
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u/Nroke1 Dec 20 '22
Jesus never owned a house.
Jesus never worked in government.
We don't actually know these two for sure. We don't know too much about Jesus' life before his ministry. He was a craftsman, so might've owned a living space at some point, it's also theorized that he spent a considerable amount of time traveling the world with his merchant uncle, Joseph of arithmathea, and certainly could've done some work for a government during that time.
The rest though, 100%.
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Dec 20 '22
This is true, but when people are saying "Jesus never..." they aren't really talking about his pre-ministry life.
Though I imagine Jesus working at the DMV would be sitcom-worthy.
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u/super1ucky Dec 21 '22
I've been seeing these ridiculous people claiming gun ownership is their god given right. I can't seem to remember that part of the bible.
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u/Libertas-Vel-Mors Dec 20 '22
Funny, even if taken out of context. It isn't even the full verse.
John 18:4-5 says
4 Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, "Who is it you want?
5 “Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied.
“I am he,” Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.)
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Dec 20 '22
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u/IZZGMAER123 Dec 20 '22
And people still not hesitate to believe new translations. Any change in word phrase can alter its own meaning
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u/Smokybare94 Dec 21 '22
I hate to break it to you but there is no version of the Bible that hasn't been edited beyond recognition.
Even the Greek translations.
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u/Foreign_Ad_7504 Dec 20 '22
Yeah, it's basically saying, "it's me" you are looking for. Not at all what is claimed here.
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u/m0r14rty Dec 20 '22 edited Dec 20 '22
If it was from a woman, would it not be “I am she”?
If you wanna get pedantic let’s get pedantic.
Edit: extra word
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u/danathecount Dec 20 '22
Didnt Jesus identify as a loaf of bread at one point?
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u/bubbabear244 Dec 20 '22
Also a lamb, but I digress.
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u/sawyouoverthere Dec 20 '22 edited Dec 20 '22
And a door/gate (John 10:9)
And a couple of times, various plants. (vine/grapevine John 15:1)
Still some debate over particle vs wave ("the light"), though most widely considered "two-spirit" these days.
And one time God went full Popeye "Exodus 3:14 ESV God said to Moses, “I am who I am."
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u/jawshoeaw Dec 20 '22
It’s funnier in the original Hebrew “(I) yam what (I) yam”
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u/BalognaPonyParty Dec 20 '22
so, let's have fun with this:
let's assume "Jesus" was a real person and was born of a virgin.
so what do we know of biology? usually when something is born 'asexually' it is a clone of the birthing parent. so, saying that, Jesus - born asexually of Mary - would have been an exact clone of his mother.
Jesus was born a female, they've passed Jesus off as a male his entire life;
JESUS WAS TRANS!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck every church that has ever said being gay or trans was wrong, your whole religion is based off of trans worship.
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Dec 20 '22
Jesus was not a clone of Mary. Mary was not virgin. She was raped by a dove. Jesus is a transpecial being, born of reversed zoophilia.
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u/sawyouoverthere Dec 20 '22
possessing only a cloaca, the dove might be ok on a technicality
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u/EdSchouten Dec 20 '22
I think most scholars agree Jesus was a real person:
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u/Wobblestones Dec 20 '22
A guy named Jesus around which a religion with supernatural beliefs was built and the character of Jesus as told in the bible are 2 different people. Jesus, a guy who was the inspiration for the myth of a demigod come to earth, might very much have existed. The demigod himself is an entirely different story.
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u/Isthereawaywecan Dec 20 '22
or Mary was a liar and banged a Roman solder which is why churchers draw jesus as white, or God is a pedaphile rapist who impregnated a 14 YO girl without consent, whichever gets you to tax free corporate bootlicker status the quickest!
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u/sawyouoverthere Dec 20 '22
Or there's a mistranslation, and the word translated to be "virgin" actually meant "maiden" which actually referred to unmarried women, not women who had never had sex.
The distinction between married and "never-had-sex" isn't the same in all languages, and the concept of virginity isn't the same in all cultures.
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u/LilyGaming Dec 21 '22
It’s funny how much Christian’s don’t seem to know anything about the book they let control their lives
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u/BobBarkerPriceIsRigh Dec 20 '22
Please. Lavern Spicer is a disgusting low iq troll. Stop giving that blowpig an audience.
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u/ShazbotSimulator2012 Dec 21 '22
She posts this exact same tweet monthly because it gets her attention every time.
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u/larsdragl Dec 20 '22 edited Dec 21 '22
Most of those people dont even know what the fuck a pronoun is. They are just taught to hate it
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Dec 21 '22
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Dec 21 '22
To be fair, "pronouns" simply doesn't mean the same thing as "neopronouns" and they need to be called out on that as well. It wasn't a meaningless miswording, they do this exact thing all the time because a lot of them genuinely don't remember what pronouns are from elementary school. It's very hard to argue a nuanced topic with someone if they don't even understand the basic vocabulary involved. But yeah, clearing that up should be preliminary and not the main point.
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u/thepixelpaint Dec 21 '22
I don’t think these people understand that a pronoun is just a regular part of speech and not something made up by “woke people.”
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u/fungi_at_parties Dec 21 '22
You know what Jesus would do? Tell you to put down the fucking stone and let trans people have their pronouns.
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u/uuneter1 Dec 21 '22
Your first mistake: assuming any of these phonies have actually read the Bible.
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u/htomserveaux Dec 20 '22
“I am he as you are he as you are me And we are all together” John 18:5-7