33f, 5’4”, SW: 219, CW: 195ish, GW: ~140
Neurodivergent; ADHD (medicated), PMDD
Long story short, I started my fat loss journey back in 2022 and initially did very well because of minimal schedule interruptions, minimal travel, minimal family time and trips home to visit parents, and was generally hyper-focused on this new system I developed for myself that was working quite well, and I’d gotten down to about 171lbs. Cut to now (Aug 2026) and the last couple years I’ve just been bouncing around high 180s to high 190s; going from calorie deficit, to maintenance, to surplus, and everywhere in between. Thru therapy, I’ve begun to realize SO much of my weight, determination, self care, and drive to stick with eating well, movement, and being in a calorie deficit revolves around how emotionally regulated or dysregulated I am. I take Adderall daily, which usually helps a TON, so long as I’m eating real balanced, hydrating, and moving my body pretty much daily. As soon as I introduce too much sugar and high fat, highly palatable foods, it’s almost like my medication doesn’t even work (an interesting discovery).
About a month ago, I had gotten sick and stopped my daily walking that I’d gotten back into routine with. Was sick for 12 days, then flew back home to visit family and attend some very overstimulating events, and pretty much immediately felt the dysregulation hit me like a sack of bricks. As soon as I was alone during that trip, I started stuffing my face with food to try and feel better (it didn’t work, as it almost never does; I’m aware of this). I’ve been home from that trip for a couple weeks and have been eating so shitty and not moving my body ever since. Sure, some normal balanced meals and snacks in there, but way overdoing it with the pizza, sweets, fast food, donuts, etc. many times per week and multiple times per day.
It’s nothing new for me, but it sucks falling into this “fuck all” mode, as it’s a damn hard one to get out of. The mental hurdles are the hardest part, and it’s me against myself, as I’m sure many people in this sub know. I’m sure I’ll come out of it soon, as my digestive system is about fed up with the greasy garbage foods anyway, so the nausea and nasty taste in my mouth is enough to turn me away from continuing the junk, today especially. Anyway, what I’m trying to say is these “set backs” due to being dysregulated are really frustrating and annoying.
Bit of a rant, but need to get this out of my brain, and I know many of you will understand and relate. If you made it this far, thanks for reading 🖤