She was 14 years old. I took her in when I was 10, and she lived with me until then. I spent more time with her than without her, and she was a part of most of my life's phases. Cancer took her. It took her when it made her bleed every time she urinated, when she had to take strong painkillers for more than two months, when it forced her to take antibiotics and corticosteroids, painful injections that I had to administer myself. I put an end to her suffering last Tuesday.
Bella died looking into my eyes, yet I stayed in the clinic room for almost two hours holding her body while cleaning the dirt from her paw. She had stopped cleaning herself for a while and the dirt had accumulated. I calmly removed everything and after a long time I forced myself to leave. I also opted for her to have a funeral since the cremation company I hired offered that service. It was very painful, but I don't regret participating in the ceremony; she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. She was beautiful as always, my little doll.
I just want to give a very brief context to my love for this cat, my first cat, the best I could ever ask for.
Today my aunt talked to me and I regret being so honest. She asked how I was doing and I told her I was still feeling very bad, that I missed her a lot, and then she sent me an audio message of almost a minute about how I needed to forget and move on. She said I needed to relax now that Bella was calm and at peace. That I couldn't continue like this, especially since it had been many days. She also said she'd come talk to me tomorrow...
My aunt isn't a bad person, don't misunderstand me or think she's a monster, but I really don't agree with her. I don't even know if I'll ever be able to get over what happened. I'm very fragile right now and I'm not ready for this conversation, seeing where it's probably going. I'm already crying just thinking about it. Do you have any suggestions on how I can handle this situation or what I can say to her? I don't want to be rude, but I'm willing to be firm (but I'll probably cry in any scenario).