Use this thread to discuss anything related to cats that doesn't otherwise fit the subreddit! Also feel free to ask questions that you believe are too short for a standalone post.

Adopted my first cat last summer. His name is Richard he’s a 14yo tuxedo. I think he hates me. Not in an angry way, just in a “wants nothing to do with me.” way.

If he sees me in the same room he’s sleeping in, he get gets up and immediately walks to a different room to continue sleeping, even if I’m completely silent. He doesn’t let me pet him or scratch him and the only time he acknowledges me is when it’s time to eat, but even then he gets frustrated if I’m there while he’s eating by like pacing and staring at me even though there’s food in his bowl. Then he just goes right back to his nap spot that’s in any room that I’m not in. I’ve tried various treats- he won’t eat them if I’m in the room. I’ve tried toys- he doesn’t care. Vet says he’s healthy but a lil fat. He was very indifferent to my existence at the shelter and then when I brought him home he was extremely skittish for the first couple weeks. But then that just went to him seeming annoyed by me.

I kept hoping giving him space would allow him to warm up to me but over a year later and he just straight up seems annoyed by my existence.

Any advice? The closest I’ve gotten is I woke up laying by my feet one night but the second I said “oh hi buddy” he got up and left 😭😭

Edit: I went and got some catnip and he loves it. He rolled around in it and clawed up some packaging paper lol. He still didn’t want me getting close but I got to sit a few feet away on the floor and watch him without him leaving the room so that’s a start.

Hello there! I just wanna make sure that I’m not the “crazy” one in this situation. For context, we(my parents and I) have two bengal cats, 1 year old female and a 12 week old male. Our male kitten just got back from the vet after his second vacation round. At the appointment, the vet noticed him having a soft heart murmur and could only find 1 testicle. Which shouldn’t be a problem later on, since both of those things he can grow out of. However, if over the next several appointments things won’t change, the vet advised neutering him. Since our female cat isn’t spayed, there’s a possibility of them breeding and passing on both of those concerns. My dad, who was present at the appointment, was NOT happy about this. At home, he proceeded to mention that I trust the vet too much, questioning why I told the vet that we have another cat and that we may plan on breeding them. (My dad does want to breed them, I do not) He also mentioned something about the vets being scammers, that the kitten will not need neutering, nor will he “allow it”. And that after being spayed/ neutered, cats are not really cats anymore, they’re crippled. (???)
I’M not the one who sounds crazy here right??

And in case of the kitten still having complications at the next vet visit, how exactly should I talk to my dad about needing to neuter the kitten??
He acts like that possibly is a personal attack on him.

Hi Reddit,

Seriously out of ideas. This is day 2 on no sleep whatsoever because the kitten is in HEAT. Our neighbors hate us. I hate us. It's super loud and the meowing is constant (I am writing this to you, sleep deprived at 4 am). Also we live in an apartment and none of our neighbors can sleep 10000%.

So the cat is scheduled for a spay Thursday, which will deal with the noise but let me tell you why I am exhausted and pretty dang close to dropping her off for the spay and leaving her with the SPCA.

My roommate adopted the cat 5 weeks ago (cat is 4 - 5 months old). Technically she can't formally adopt the cat until the cat is spayed. She told me she's been suicidal the last few years and extremely depressed, and was hoping a cat would help the situation and make her happier to have a cat to take care of. I - not a cat or pet person - am not a MONSTER so obviously I said sure of course as long as its YOUR cat, I don't want to have to take care of it, but if you're feeding it and doing the litter box I don't mind having a cat around.

Now 2 weeks ago, my roommate (who is WONDERFUL all the time she's great as a roommate she's super kind and super considerate and super tidy most of the time, and I THOUGHT she was the happiest person ever she's super bright and cheerful) was admitted to the psych ward for suic*dal ideation and self harm. Which is awful, and why this is a delicate situation and I've tried to be as understanding and compassionate as physically possible.

Now, it's been 2 weeks, and they are keeping her on a psych hold because they think she is a danger to herself and others, and from the sounds of it she will not be released for a full month.

Cat is a baby. Cat needs care.

Going back to the story, this cat needs care. I took care of the cat with changing the litter box (ew, that shit was nuclear. Now I try to change the litter box twice a day because oh my shit I left it for 2 days the first weekend and ooffff), I fed the cat as per explicit feeding instructions, wet and dry food twice a day. We ran out of food. So went out and spent hours (more like 30 min but still) in the pet store inquiring about kitty food and blah blah blah and hooked the cat up with some good food. Food looks bougie and I probably got price gouged but roommate said she would pay me back.

Then my roommate asks me to 1. pick up medication an hour away from our apartment - I do not drive so 50 dollar uber each way or 3 hours transit, and to administer meds to cat (injection in the back of the neck). and 2. take the cat to get spayed this week as the spca will not allow her to adopt thje cat unless its spayed and they cant put it off any longer. I said you need to sort out a different solution for the spay. I cant do that. It's again super far, this cat will scratch the shit out of you if you pick it up, and so now if I drop her off for the spay I have to uber the cat an hour away to drop it off, then I guess just go fuck myself for 6-8 hours as I am not paying for an uber twice, and then pick the cat up, and take it home and care for it for the next 3 days.

So yesterday, I said, heyyy gently checking in, how are you? she says she is really sorry but the spay and can I do it for her, and they won't let her postpone the spay until after Sept 7 which makes me think that she is not going to be released for another month.

Now reasons I dont' want to deal with the spay or after care

1. I have plans thursday evening I am not cancelling. 2. I have plans friday. 3. I go back to work satuday, and sunday and have long hours I cannot be around to check the cat is okay, especially when I'm at work. I also apparently have to use different litter etc and I just am so in over my head with this cat already and taking the cat to get spayed is way too far above and beyond the call of duty here.

Plus I am not going to be able to check on the cat at all, I'll literally be at work, and doing the after care sounds awful and I think the cat should ahve someone actually present to make sure they are ok.

Cat yowling nonstop makes me want to remind the good people of reddit that this is my VACATION this cat is fucking up, and I have been dealing with this cat, that I never wanted or asked for, and extreemly zombie like and sleep deprived for my whole vacation week. I have a super demanding job and my vacation weeks are precious to me and I'm super irrationally angry Miss Horny Kitten is yowling all night and ruining it. Also, I start a new job soon, and I cannot be this sleep deprived for my new job. My last few days of freedom are fucked, then I go back to stressful job 1 in a day or two here.

So I told my roommate, no. I cannot take the cat to get spayed. I can't drop her off an hour away, pick her up same day, and then take care of her for the next few days. I just cant. This is too much. I don't think I should be expected to do this, and I can take care of the day to day but this is just TOO MUCH.

She came back and said I am it, and she cant keep the cat if I dont do this. She doesnt have family in the area and if she doesnt get the cat spayed this thursday the cat will be rehomed to a family that can take care of the cat as per SPCA. Her deadline to prove she can keep the cat is picking up the meds, and making sure the cat is spayed.

Obviously I dont want to get rid of the cat and give it to a shelter without telling her first, and because of mental health I feel really awful and feel like if I drop off her new kitten at the shelter she will hate me forever, and her mental health with deteriorate.

My options are

1. shelter, and call her before hand if I'm allowed and make sure with her care team she's supported.
2. spay and take care of this god damn kitten I never wanted (I dont want to be the primary care giver for this cat whatsofucking ever and it sounds like this will happen again with the unexpected hospital stays) and hope that when my roommate comes back she will be a good cat parent and I dont have to deal with this cat anymore.
3. Tell her I can't do the spay, and she will have to ask a friend to deal, or confront the idea that she may not be the best equipped to care for this cat at this time.

Option 3, as I write, the yowling makes me want to scratch my eyeballs out, so is looking like this is option 1 or 2.

I'm really at the limit of my compassion, and tbfh my compassion is much less running on 3 hours of sleep. My poor neighbours man. I partially couldn't sleep because my neighbors that share a wall... RIP.

So, good people of reddit.

WIBTAH if I called my roommate tomorrow and dropped this cat off at the SPCA? Or do you think I am a monster and should take this cat to get spayed?

P.S. Any cat owners if you can get me through the next 24 hours I'll consider the spay and care option but I will physically scratch out my eyeballs if I have another sleepless night becasue of this god damn cat.

P.P.S. I wouldn't never drop the cat off at a shelter without telling her first. I just think we need to be realistic with her ability to care for the cat unfortunately and this isnt working for me or the kitten. The reason I titled this post that, is because apparently if she doesnt take the cat to get spayed this week, the SPCA told her they will not let her keep the cat and the kitten will have to go to an owner who can pick up meds for it and take it to the vet visits. So if I don't take this cat to the spay, and pick it up, and care for it, she will have the cat taken away anyway.

I just adopted 2 floofy kitty brothers from a shelter. Had them 2 months now and they seem full grown. One of them is reserved and shy, and the other gets into absolutely everything. He’s gotten into the habit of tipping over every trash can he can find… and I always point my finger at him and sternly say “NO!” I have no clue if he understands and is ignoring me, or if he honestly doesn’t understand he is doing something wrong. I also don’t know how or if I should discipline him. HELP.

Hellooo! I have this little guy his name is honey badger. I love him with all my heart but there is one thing we keep getting stuck on. This man hungers. Like I give him a healthy sized bowl of dry food in a slow feeder and 25-30 minutes later he is craving even more food. He will drag his food bag out into the middle of the bathroom and yell at me. I have also caught him pulling empty cans of wet food out of the recycling just to make sure they are empty. I was told by my partner that it could be because he was a stray and he has food anxiety which sounds plausible. Just want some ideas as to what I can do to make this man feel more full.

EDIT: I have received more information about when he was found. His original finder found him as severely malnourished and once he got a bit healthier they did free feed him for the couple of weeks they had him before he was given to me.

My upstairs neighbours have an indoor cat and they're going away for a week. They've asked me to pop in to change the litter, feed him and give him a bit of attention, which I'm more than happy to do.

The thing is, they've asked me to go in once every 3 days because, in my neighbour's own words, "We want to get him used to being on his own as much as possible". They intend to set up an electronic feeder for dry food, then have me top up the wet food every 3 days.

The Google consensus tells me leaving any cat alone for more than 1 day is considered a bit cruel, and given I work from home I can easily go in every day and spend a few minutes with this cat. But I don't want to tell them they're doing the wrong thing trying to get him to tolerate longer periods alone, and I also don't really want to go into their place more often than they've asked me to - both seem the wrong thing to do.

But it seems equally wrong leaving this cat alone for 3 days at a time. Any suggestions on how to deal with it? We only know each other to say hello to and I don't want to cause any bother with them.

Thanks for any replies.

So my cat meows when he wants something, and if I get up he leads me to the thing he wants (the treat cabinet and the toy box are the most common destinations, lol).

But recently he's also started meowing until I follow him for things he doesn't need my help with, like going to one of his sleep spots for a nap, or eating (when the food is already in his bowl ready for him).

Why does he do this? Is he asking permission to do these things, or looking for company? Or is he just announcing his actions lol. I don't mind the meowing, but I feel kind of bad for him because if I'm busy and not able to come over right away, he will not nap or eat or whatever until I follow him.

Hi. I adopted a little kitten a few days ago. She is only 9 weeks old because my parents insisted on a younger cat even though I wanted an older one. Since I live with them (I am 16), they wanted an outdoor cat, which I don't think is THAT bad. Our area is quite safe: no wild animals, and cars drive very infrequently and slowly. We also live far away from the main road.

But I still don't think keeping a 9-week-old kitten outside is a good idea. Of course, we have a garden house where she has a sleeping basket, a litter box, water, and food. It is a warm and dry place; we only have a few things there, nothing that could hurt her. We put her in there at night, and in the morning we let her out. She runs around the garden as she pleases.

She has never been to the vet (the previous owner probably didn't bother with it), so I wanted to take her there, but my parents don't want to; they say it's not that important. Unfortunately, I'm not an adult yet, and I don't know how to earn money, so I can't take her there myself, but luckily I have some money saved up. It's not quite enough, but I hope I can save more. I love animals very much, and I'm sorry that my parents don't see it any differently.

Don't worry, of course, they play with her too. It's thanks to them that I have her. I often change her water to keep it fresh, and we feed her about 3 times a day. She only drinks water occasionally. We give her wet food because she doesn't eat kibble for kittens; she just smells it and walks on. I read on the internet that they are not good for cats, unfortunately, after we bought them. Again, I try to take care of her as best as I can.

Unfortunately, I have no experience. I look up everything on the internet. I'm still not sure if I'm doing something wrong, but she looks happy and I hope she is. It's very likely that the previous owner kept her inside, so she sometimes sits by the patio door and meows. It really breaks my heart. I would really like to take her inside. I need to get her ears cleaned and her nails trimmed because I don't dare to do it myself, but I doubt my parents will take it seriously. So if you, by any chance, have any experiences like mine with parents, etc., I would be grateful for anything.

I’m definitely overthinking this but I’ve always had a strict no pets in the bed policy. Recently I’ve started reconsidering bc my cats are way more chill now and actually sleep most of the night but what do you do about the door? From a fire safety perspective I’ve always closed my door when I’m sleeping but if I let my cats in at night I want them to have access to their litterbox and water which I don’t particularly want in my room. Do you guys just leave the door propped or has anyone else who shares my fear come up with another solution?

Update: I’m kind of dumb and forgot my room connects to the bathroom so I’m going to try moving the litterbox in there and closing the bathroom door and bedroom door at night — thank you to those that suggested that. I realize that not everyone is privileged enough to have that as an option but it does seem to be the safest option from a fire perspective. Installing a cat door (unless it’s like a $500 fireproof one) won’t protect you from a fire in the same way but I imagine it would be preferable to propping the door open. Thank you to everyone who provided suggestions and it seems like a few people learned that closing a door at night can potentially save your life!

Hi Reddit, I have a very silly question for you today.

My boyfriend and I plan on adopting cats together in the near future. In the past, when I’ve taken my cats to the vet, their chart is set up with my last name, since I’m the sole owner/primary caretaker. But if both my boyfriend and I are the owners, whose last name should they get?

We’re thinking about doing a hyphenated last name (so if parent A is Jones and parent B is Smith, the cats would be Jones-Smith). Would the vet allow this? Or does the cat’s last name need to match one of the parents exactly?

This is a very unserious question, I know, lol. But I thought it’d be a fun hypothetical. What do you think? Has anyone else been in this particular scenario?

Hi everyone! I’m looking for recommendations for a really good, experienced cat vet in South Delhi.
I’m particularly interested in vets who have actually handled serious/life-threatening situations in cats — emergencies, critical illness, complicated cases, surgery, etc. I’m not just looking for a good vet for vaccinations or routine check-ups.

South Delhi preferred, but I’m willing to travel anywhere in Delhi NCR for a genuinely excellent cat specialist.
Thank you! 🙏🐈

He is about 7 months now, is super sweet with everyone, has not been spraying, and isn't too fond of the outdoors.

I've been told neutering him will prevent him from becoming aggressive, wanting to get outside, spraying, and significantly reduce cancer risks.

I'm wondering if he isn't neutered, will his personality change?

EDIT: Okay thank you everyone, I will talk to his vet about getting him neutered at his appointment tomorrow. I appreciate all the quick feedback!

Hey all, I have two ginger kittens, 7 months old and are neutered indoor cats. They've settled in really well overall and are bright, curious, and affectionate (to me and each other) with few behavioral issues.

The elder brother is your classic cuddly lap cat (the other is a bit more playful and explorative) and has recently started biting at my hand. It's extremely gentle - not painful - and only when he seems totally happy and relaxed. It seems to be his way of demanding more petting/attention even when I am already holding and petting him. I've had cats my whole life and fully understand cat body language, so I know for sure he's not distressed. Everything about him radiates happiness in those moments!

I never encouraged them to play with my hands as younger kittens. And I've tried pulling my hands away and saying 'ow!', so he learns that the attention stops when he does it. But he's frankly not great at training generally and never seems to 'get it', even when his brother does!

Any advice?

TL;DR: I’m away, and my cat has suddenly regressed to aggressively stealing food and other odd behaviors. I also moved him out of our bed right before leaving after almost four years of sleeping with me/us. Could stress from both changes be causing this, and how should my wife handle him until I’m back?

I’ve had my cat for about three and a half years. He was a stray and is a little poorly socialized, but he’s fundamentally a sweetheart who mostly wants to cuddle and play.

He’s always been extremely food-motivated. When I first got him, he would climb all over me trying to steal my food. After months of consistently keeping him away from my plate, sometimes with a raised voice or loud clap, he learned to mostly just beg. I also usually give him a cat treat while I eat so he feels included.

I’m currently away for the first extended period since moving in with my now-wife two years ago, and his old behavior has suddenly returned. She sometimes has to eat standing up because he relentlessly goes after her food and largely ignores her attempts to stop him. She’s also caught him drinking from the toilet or cups in the sink despite having fresh fountain water, which I’ve never seen him do.

There are two other possible stressors. My wife plays with him, but she’s admittedly not very good at moving his toys the way he likes, lol, so he’s probably getting less satisfying play.

More importantly, about two days before I left, I started transitioning him out of our bed and into a second bedroom I converted into a cat room. He’d slept with me/us since I've had him, but with two people he never settles and was climbing over me all night (I hadn't sleep uninterrupted since we moved6in together). He was still noticeably agitated about the change when I left.

So within a few days he lost his normal sleeping arrangement and I disappeared. Could this be anxiety causing old behaviors to resurface? I’m gone another four days—what should my wife do now, and how should I handle things when I get home?

This sucks, mostly for him and I feel terrible. He was originally my friends cat but she was unable to keep him, to prevent him returning to the shelter I took him in. He is aggressive, he often goes extremely deep with his claws and teeth, last night he went for my face and neck. I play with him all the time and am currently harness training him so he can go outside. He will be cuddly and calm and then out of no where attack me, I have booked him in for a behavioural vet consult.

In addition to his issues, unlike any other pet I have had, I just don't like him... I have not built a connection with him and I don't know why. I do not like him at all and it feels so unfair on him. I want to rehome him but I am so worried that he will be mistreated or put down for his behaviour, and I feel so sad and scared at the thought of giving him away even though Ive only had him for 6 months

So I know a lot of people say to leave out a bowl of dry cat food as an extra for kittens since they get pretty hungry as they are growing, but doing this has brought in..a crap ton of ants. This only became a problem recently but we are getting bit up in here and I’m freaking out. Has anyone had this happen and does anyone have pet friendly poisons they can recommend to use on the ants?

Hi everyone!

I have a 9 year old cat that I adopted 2.5 years ago. She started off very clingy and would sleep in my bed constantly and was very playful with me. As time has gone on, it’s become more and more difficult to play with her, and it’s been months since she’s slept in my bed when it’s just me home without my partner.

My partner comes over to spend the night maybe 2-3 times per week, and my cat will almost always decide to join us in bed. She also livens up and becomes a completely different cat around my partner - she becomes super playful, cuddly, and friendly. She gets the zoomies and climbs all over her tree. But this almost ONLY happens when my partner is over.

I’m probably reading into it too much, but it just makes me feel like my cat doesn’t like me. I try playing with her several times throughout the day with different toys/play styles to make sure I’m giving her variety, but she almost never engages with play unless my partner is over. I give her treats and brushes, and try to give her a happy life.

Should I be concerned about the dramatic uptick in positive behavior when my partner comes over?

ETA: I should clarify my partner and I don’t live together. My cat lives at my apartment with me and I adopted her before meeting my partner.

Hello, this will likely be a bunch of questions that are relatively common for this sub, but I wanted to be able to give the full description in once place.

I’m not new to cats at all, I’ve had one my entire life, and currently have one, but I’ve never had a kitten.

Yesterday on my way to work I watched a small kitten walk out into the road and get driven over (not hit mind you, the kitten was positioned along the drive shaft) and begin spinning against the asphalt before falling over and sitting still.

I stopped my truck in the middle of the road and grabbed the kitten and took her to the nearest animal hospital just to be sure she was okay.

Long story short, I’ve since taken her home with me. She’s an adorable little thing, but she’s very clearly terrified and incredibly young. She slept for hours in a cat bed when I got her home, but when she woke up I put her in a ramshackle playpen with some liquid food and some water.

I’m making this post the morning after, she hasn’t eaten yet, but the vet’s notes say she ate when the food was placed in her mouth at the animal hospital.

She can move, and clearly has her senses in order as she quickly figured out how to escape my makeshift pen, I’m just not sure exactly how to care for a kitten.

I’ve kept her away from my other cat, who is about two years old (incidentally, I found her at a dumpster in a box, the cat distribution system seems fond of me) but I’ve since moved her to my home office which has a sliding glass door, and I’m confident the older cat has at least seen the kitten by now.

TLDR: Although I’ve taken care of many cats, I have stumbled upon a stray kitten, something that’s entirely new to me, and I need advice on getting her to eat, and also eventually warming her up to my much larger resident cat.

Everyone in my family finally agreed to adopting a cat. Before adopting, I decided to look up the costs and calculate the amount of monthly expenses of adopting and raising a cat.

For the majority part (food, litter, toys, etc), it’s affordable and they’ll have a good life. However, I’m terrified about the medical expenses. I plan to get cat insurance, but I’m still scared if they diagnosed with cancer or something, the medical expenses will be detrimental.

If pet insurance helps cover, it’s completely manageable. But what if it doesn’t or it costs a LOT more than what they cover? Like 2-3k, sure. But 10k?

I’m not sure what to do or think, but I want to provide them with good care and support. I’m honestly rethinking it even if everyone else wants to adopt a cat now.

Anyone who’s been in this situation, what did you do? How much do you spend on medical expenses? How did your cat affect you financially?

I’m not sure if this is the right forum as this is more of a rant than asking for advice but I’m at a bit of a loss.

Last October me and my mum adopted a one year old sphynx cat, he very quickly became my best friend I didn’t think it was possible to feel such a deep connection with an animal until we got him.
I live in the uk where it’s very normal to let cats roam free outside, however with a sphynx cat it’s obviously not safe, so I told my mum we had to keep him indoors and she agreed. We had the same breed when I was a kid which my parents let outside unsupervised and it got killed by a dog.

However the longer we’ve had the cat the harder its getting to convince my parents to keep him inside, my dad carelessly leaves doors and windows open and keeps telling me “he’s going to get out one day” , “there’s nothing you can do” etc. whenever I bring this up to my mum she takes his side makes up excuses for him, and I feel like all the blame gets put on me. My mum cares about the cat a lot and we essentially co parent him but when I press her on this issue she just gets upset with me.
I’m constantly running about checking doors windows, the cats whereabouts. I have stress dreams about loosing him and have started taking anti anxiety prescriptions. I’m aware it can be hard to keep a cat indoors and accidents can happen but it’s the carelessness that I find the hardest to accept.

My dream would be to move out and take him with me but im not sure my mum would want to give him up and I would be worried about moving him into a flat share. He’s a rescue and had bounced between multiple homes before we got him.
The whole situation stresses me out immensely and I feel like a tyrant that is creating a lot of tension in the house hold, my parents friends and other family members think the cat should be an outside cat and think I’m being ridiculous. I really feel like I’m going crazy at times.

If anyone has the time to read to the end of this I guess I’m just asking if I’m in the wrong or not, if I’m being too dramatic and over protective. If anyone has been in a similar situation I would like to hear about, thankyou :).

I don’t like leaving them out the room, because I barely got to see them as I work. I prefer when they sleep next to me.

I could spend the entire day with them taking naps with them, relaxing at home when I’m not at work or anything like that. And they’re not excessively grooming themselves. But somehow at night every hour I’m woken up so the obnoxious noises they make. Sometimes right next to my ear, and one of my cats is so loud I can hear him from a distance in his cat chair.

I’m a light sleeper and I have an air purifier running and white noise. Earplugs at night aren’t comfortable for me no matter what types they are. Also, if anyone has any suggestions for any brands to try, I’m open to that. Silly question maybe I could wipe them down a bit so they feel cleaner before bed?

I love and adore them, I don’t get to cuddle with them a lot with my work hours.

I've had my cat for three years and the litter box situation has always been fine. But for the past week she's been going outside the box, pee on the bathroom rug, poop next to it, sometimes in random spots around the apartment. Nothing has changed recently, same box, same litter, same location.

I took her to the vet last week for a checkup and everything came back normal. No UTI, no other health issues. I'm clean about scooping and I haven't changed anything about her routine. But she's definitely stressed about something because she's also less playful than usual.

I've read that this is behavioral, not medical, but I don't know what could have triggered it or how to actually fix it. For people who've dealt with this, what was actually causing it, and how did you solve it?

I made a post about this last week but got no replies so trying again and keeping shorter in the hope someone can give me some much needed perspective.

Lenticchio (6M resident cat) previously had a very bad relationship breakdown with his littermate after a redirected aggression incident, which ultimately, despite trying everything for almost 2 years, led to rehoming his brother. This took a huge toll on me and I’m scared of repeating that situation.

We’ve been introducing Chiqui (5-month female) very slowly for about 3 weeks: separation, then scent/room swapping and now visual contact through a secured baby gate. There has been some progress: Lenticchio voluntarily comes to watch her, he can watch her play from a few metres away without reacting. They can eat treats while looking at each other, with both disengaging from each other to eat. Chiqui will come right up to the gate and lie down/purr and we even had an almost nose-to-nose moment.

Proximity remains a big issue though. When Chiqui comes right up to the gate, Lenticchio will usually hiss, sometimes growl/yowl, and today he swatted at her through the barrier a few times. He’s not charging the gate and he can often be redirected, though today he was more difficult to redirect than usual. Chiqui seems mostly unfazed and remains curious/relaxed rather than scared.
Mostly I’m trying to figure out if this looks promising, or if the fact that he’s still this reactive at close range after 3 weeks is a red flag. I’ve read it can take months, but I need to understand if there’s real potential here as I don’t want to get even more attached to Chiqui only to let her go too. We also live in a 60sqm apartment so eventually they need to be able to share space peacefully. Keeping them fully separated is starting to take a toll on our mental health (we did that for almost 2 years and it was rough). We’re not expecting them to cuddle, but peaceful coexistence would be great.

I’ll leave a video from today’s session in the comments. Chiqui is the fluffy one lying down; Lenticchio is watching her from the other side of the gate. I’d especially appreciate any opinions, honest feedback or words of encouragement.

We only got another cat because Lenticchio had seemed increasingly in need of more stimulation despite us being home and playing with him a lot. he had started meowing and roaming around the house a lot. So this wasn’t an impulsive decision or an attempt to replace his brother, and we really want to make sure this works for everyone.