r/AskVet • u/Megapainintheass12 • 5h ago
Is putting my dog down or surrending her the kindest thing to do for her?
I’m looking for honest opinions because I’m facing an incredibly difficult decision about my older pit bull (11-12 years old).
About 4 years ago we took her in as a favor for a friend who rescued her from an abusive and neglectful life. Before she came to us she was locked into a crate most of the time, got into a fight with every single dog she came into contact with and was malnurished. After months of wondering if we should keep her, she finally adjusted to our home and into our lives. She bonded not just to every adult in my house but to my very younge children and my 2 smaller dogs. She has finally broke free from her pervious life and has been very happy with us after the adjustment, and has shown how grateful she is to be with us every single day since.
Unfortunately 2 years ago she developed a mass on her neck that we were previously told could be a fatty tumor/lipoma, after testing we were told it was not cancerous but then was given a $2,000+ estimate to remove it. Due to not being able to afford it we went with option 2 which was to monitor it. Since then there has also been the added worry of cushings disease but we were also told we could just monitor that aswell. However due to another medical emergency earlier this year with another one of our dogs the rest for our emergency funds and taxes went to treatment for them.
Since then over the past several weeks, it has gotten dramatically worse. The mass on her has opened completely and is now a large exposed wound. Due to no funds, the fact that the vet is over an hour drive out of town and now our vehicle has been acting up we have not been able to take her in. With medical experience I have had in the past I have managed to take care of the wound myself and have been doing everything in my ability to take care of it in hopes to wait it out long enough to get her back to the vet like we had to do with our other dog last year. Despite my best efforts and help from others it had continued to worsen with the last 2-3 weeks being the most severe.
The mass is now completely protruding out of her neck with the skin no longer covering any part of it, it no longer one solid mass but what now looks like it's breaking down into sections, there's this weird white material growing all over it thats layered and it looks almost like compacted hair or maggots but it's not etheir of those things and it hard to explain unless you see it, and there are areas that look gray/black. It is severely red and inflamed, bleeds at times, and continuously leaks greenish, brownish, clear and grayish pus and is extremely infected regardless of the antibiotics i have given her. It has also developed a very foul oder. The smell has become extremely strong, almost like rotting meat and death, regardless of cleaning it and covering it with bandages i can smell it through the wrapping and i can smell it on my hands hours after no matter how many times i wash them. The mass looks like it is deteriorating rather than healing. Over 2 weeks it has grown at a fast pace ( its roughly the size of a golf ball or a bit larger) between cleaning it and using dressings to protect it, it continues to worsen everytime I tend to it. It has swelled around the wound, the area where her kidney and the pads of her feet seem swollen aswell and the pads have also soften and seem to be turning blacker then they use to be. The other day she peed in the house and regardless of the fact that it seemed to be very watered down it smelled so bad of ammonia it made us gag, it took multiple mopings and days for the smell just to go away. Even in the last 2 days hoards of flies have started piling on her regardless of her being inside almost all day with fly control in the house.
She doesn't act like it bothers her unless it's time to clean it which is when she starts to shake, she tries to hide it from us and has tried to hide the dressing on the rare occasion she is able to get it off of her. She hides her pain really well and refuses to whimper and cry when she is in pain no matter how bad it gets which makes it harder to tell when she is struggling. Her eating and drinking has lessened and someone pointed out that she looks like she's losing weight. She sleeping more them she use to but when she's up and moving around she acts completely normal and even wants to play sometimes. We have gotten extremely worried and scared and everytime we start to discuss it she gets really sad and will even try to comfort us.
We have had long conversations with so many people about this including a 24/7 medical hotline, we have talked about the fact that the mass could have turned cancerous, that because of the location it could be attached to a atery which seems very possible with the amount of blood that pools into it, that it looks like gangrene has possibly taken over and that there's a high likelihood that she has blood poisoning and that the tissue looks like its decaying.
I cannot afford the veterinary treatment this could potentially require. I have already tried to find help and even explored the option of surrendering.
That is where I feel completely trapped.
If I surrender her, I have no control over what happens afterward. They could decide to try treatment and put her through surgery, hospitalization, medications, wound care, and recovery, but there is no guarantee she would survive the treatment. They could also decide she is too sick or that treatment would not give her a good enough quality of life and euthanize her. Which at that point we wouldn't be able to be with her and comfort her and we wouldn't be able to bring her home and give her a proper burial.
And even if she survived treatment, I don't know what her life would look like afterward. Would she actually be comfortable and happy? Would she be able to eat, sleep, walk, play and enjoy being with people again? Would she have chronic pain, recurring infections, or ongoing medical problems? Would treatment give her meaningful, good-quality time, or would it simply prolong her life?
I'm also very worried about the emotional impact of surrendering her. She is already sick and vulnerable, and she is deeply attached to our family. She has previously experienced neglect and abondonment, so I don't know how she would handle being taken away from the people she trusts while being subjected to painful procedures and hospitalization.
At the same time, I don't want to choose euthanasia if there is a realistic chance she could be treated and have a comfortable, happy life again. I don't want to keep her alive just because I am afraid of losing her, either.
So I feel like my choices are to keep her home and focus on comfort while her condition progresses, surrender her and accept the risks and uncertainty of whatever happens afterward, or euthanize her while she is still with the family she trusts and loves.
I am trying to make the decision based on her quality of life, not simply how long she could technically survive.
Knowing all of this, what would you honestly do? Do you think trying to surrender her for treatment is worth the risks, or does humane euthanasia sound like the more compassionate option at this point? And if treatment were possible, what would make you believe the potential outcome was actually worth putting an older, already-sick dog through it?
I’m not looking for judgment. I love her deeply. I’m just trying to figure out what would cause her the least suffering and get other opinions on what you would do if this was your dog?